Jiyong is not sure if he just heard what he thought he did. He looks at his hyung who just tucked his plum hair behind his ear. "What did you say?" 

Seunghyun looks at the younger and then mutters. "What am I doing...." The man starts to get off the bed but Jiyong's hand grabs the older's wrist. "Hey...why are you leaving like this...it's weird hyung?" Jiyong did hear what the man said. He is kind of kicking himself for making the moment a little weird for the both of them. Seunghyun is not going to repeat himself...well at least right now he is not. 

Seunghyun then sighs. "Just forget what I said...I just....I just got too caught up in the moment." The man then leaves the room leaving Jiyong just as confused as the air. "Too caught up huh...?" says Jiyong laying back on his bed. Seunghyun and Jiyong have been living together almost 2 months now. "It's probably that we have been living together too long. My legs are y." says the younger looking at his ivory legs kicking them a bit. "And I do have a nice smile...who wouldn't fall for me." says Jiyong with a slight laugh to himself. He is not sure if Seunghyun was playing around...or if he was completely serious. What ever was suppose to happen...Jiyong ruined the moment. "...now things will be awkward...." 

Jiyong gets off of the bed rubbing his belly a bit. "...now I'm hungry." Jiyong looks at the time at it's a little past 4am. Even though his conversation with Seunghyun ended odd. The older did have some good words to say. Jiyong needs to accept himself for the person he wants to continue to be in the future. He will try harder to not let his mind just accept that he is a junkie to everyone. He needs to let people know that he is Jiyong. 

The younger comes down the stairs and sees the kitchen light on. He then sees his hyung eating something random. The older scrambles to the sink and cleans his plate. Jiyong laughs a bit to the man acting so weird. "I didn't try to sleep with you...why are you acting like a scared ?" 

The older doesn't say much and just goes up the stairs. Jiyong can't help but feel a little bad. "I'm hungry..." says Jiyong going with his pregnant thoughts. "Hmmmm" says the man reaching for randomness. He doesn't realize until he finally sets everything down. It's half of the food in the fridge. Some of the food needs to be warmed up, but Jiyong could care less. The food is making his mouth water. "Come here my pretty...." says Jiyong eating a cold veggie to then eating some left over kimchi. Jiyong feels his stomach "Happy now bean." Jiyong continues to eat but hears a laugh slightly deep on the other side of the house. Jiyong turns around. "Yah! How long have you been there goon?"  Goon is a word that the group calls their hyung because Seunghyun does some odd things sometimes. 

"I heard you destroying the fridge. I got curious..." 

"Are you done being weird?" says Jiyong staring at the figure in the darkness. 

"Ne..." 

"Well...comes and sit and eat with me. It's boring just eating and staring at your expensive granite." says Jiyong with food in his mouth. 

"Aish chew with your mouth closed." 

Jiyong points at the older with his chop sticks. "You have been around those Americans too much. Koreans eat freely. We  eat with passion. Remember?"  Jiyong eats some food and purposely smacks every bit down. 

Seunghyun makes a face. "Really Jiyong...." 

"Really. Bean doesn't mind...." 

Seunghyun loves it when Jiyong acknowledges his baby. "Oh bean doesn't mind? Well I don't mind then either." He takes a hand and rubs Jiyong's belly. "Are you feeling better eating?" says the older staring into the brown ones only to shyly look away. Jiyong smiles "Ne. I think I'm done." Jiyong stands and closes a couple of containers. Seunghyun watches how the younger holds his belly slightly with a smile. Jiyong has never looked this happy before. "Maybe bean was what you needed in life." 

Jiyong turns around with a smile. "Maybe." 

//////////////////////Rehearsal

It's finally time for the MADE rehearsals after months of planning. Of course Youngbae over saw everything that was to be planned and approved the different ideas of the concert. Really Youngbae did most of the time with the planning crew because this concert will be the last tour with all of the members together. Jiyong comes into the practice venue and looks around at the markings that are the stage and everything else. Jiyong is use to most of these dance moves so it's easy for him. 

Once again even when Jiyong was high he could always do his job to perfection. It was almost like a odd magic trick. Everyone would oooou and aahh over what he could do and what people thought he couldn't do. There was not doubt that performance was not going to be the reason Jiyong would ever get fired. 

Now that Jiyong is sober. He is even more aware of things. He goes over to the backup dancers for one of their songs. "Hey why don't they try separating here so that Seungri can have more room for his moment?" The choreographer smiles and pats JIyong on the shoulder. "Yes that works so well!" 

"No leave it the same...." says Youngbae coming over to the group. "Leave it the same. We have worked too hard to make changes now. Maybe Junkie should have showed up to practice mentally to make changes 4 months ago...." 

The back up dancers look in different directions trying to escape the awkwadness as Jiyong was clearly put in his place. Jiyong is use to the treatment but hates that it's in front of his juniors. "My name is Jiyong. Not Junkie." 

"All I see is Junkie." Youngbae walks off and Jiyong is stopped by Seungri when Jiyong was about to go after the man. "Hyung...it's not worth it. The suggestion was really good...and I actually agree with you...but leader says no." 

"Leader....I'm the leader of this group...." says Jiyong with a low tone. He hates this and he kind of hates himself. He is sitting in a room where it was not his creation. He can't believe that BigBang has done so much and he is just letting it go away from him. "I need some space Ri..." Jiyong then walks through the back and out the back door. The venue is private so there are no cameras or crazy fans. Jiyong sighs to himself in the slightly cold air. "What am I doing here...." Jiyong sighs and wishes he had something at the moment. It's these moments where he wishes that he could escape that he could just. "Hey Ji....you alright..." That voice. That voice he needed. 

Seunghyun comes over. "Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in some traffic." 

Jiyong nods. "It's ok...." 

"What happen?" 

"You know what happened...don't play dumb." 

It's true Seunghyun knows what happened due to Seungri filling him in. Seunghyun is pissed at Youngbae and knows that Jiyong can get in dark places fast. This whole tour might be a challenge for him."You want to talk about it?" 

"No...I'm good..." 

"You sure...you seem really down..." says the older leaning against the concrete wall slightly

Jiyong sighs. "How did I let this all go just like that...I wasted so much time and left behind my true passion to be only ted on with Youngbae's ideas." 

"Those ideas had to be made because Jiyong you were too high to be a leader. Youngbae has had to take on a lot just to keep the group together." 

"You taking his side?" says Jiyong defensively. 

"You want me to sugar coat everything or be real Jiyong. You need to face these facts but you don't need to bring your self to this dark place. Try to go along with things. When they see you are working hard  your suggestions might work out." 

"More like not going to happen. He treated me like I just did five lines of coke. He would love it if I just left." 

"He probably would...." says the older with a laugh but Jiyong is not laughing

"You find this funny huh...." says Jiyong with a tone. 

"I'm not trying to make fun Jiyong. I'm just talking with you." 

Jiyong huffs. "What ever I need to practice." Jiyong goes inside and a stage coordinator looks at him. "Are you ready for your set?" Jiyong nods. 

"Ne ne" Jiyong goes back into the venue where they practice his solo set. The first song is Crooked and this makes Jiyong feel a little nervous. There is a lot of jumping in this one and Jiyong is scared that the baby will not be able to handle it. The music starts and Jiyong does different dancing....it's still entertaining but it's not quite the hops like in his previous performances. "Why are you not jumping Jiyong Shi?" says the choreographer. 

Jiyong then holds his stomach. "I had something weird for lunch. Jumping is not a good idea." Jiyong has never made such a comment and it's very embarrassing as dancers silently talk amongst themselves. "We didn't even eat yet..." says YOungbae with rolled eyes. "Can you do the dance or not?" 

Jiyong looks at the man with eyes. "I can do the dance perfectly. Since when did we all dance full on in rehearsals. I make enough money to not even showing up to these things." There goes Jiyong with his mouth again. He now looks like the person who doesn't give two s about rehearsal. 

"Well maybe you should leave then. Go do a line again maybe that will make things clearer for you." 

"WILL YOU ING LAY OFF HIM!" Shouts Seunghyun. He doesn't even know what has come over him but his booming voice has the man mad. "Can you just stop laying into him with your jabs. We all know that you did a lot for the group. Jiyong is willing to work. We are willing to work with him...this is a team right?" says Seunghyun with a pressing tone to the younger. Youngbae sighs. "Hyung. Just look at him. He is not even working properly."

Jiyong then sighs. "I'm sober I understand what you are saying mother er." He hates it when they talk like he is not there.

"Jiyong" says Seunghyun in a short tone. "Be quite and sit down." Jiyong hasn't been talked to like this by hyung in a long time and he does as told. Seunghyun then points towards a room for Youngbae and him to go to and close the door. The feeling of the venue is quiet and Jiyong feels the slightly awkward stares. 

Seunghyun takes a seat on a plastic chair and  looks at Youngbae. "I know that you are the leader now but you are acting like a toddler who lost his toy. I'm your hyung and I'm telling you to get your together when it comes to business. I could care less what you think about Jiyong but you will not treat him unfairly in front of his juniors." 

Youngbae then speaks. "You know how much work I put into this hyung. He is sober for two days and he is already trying to change things...." 

"He has been sober for three months. Completely clean. Remember Jiyong is still in our contracts the leader. He can take back his position when he is ready...you need to remember this is not your permanet role Bae." 

"But I have done this for years now. Cleaning up after his slack and keeping this group together. How could he just....how could." 

"Bae he just made a suggestion to a dancer. He is not taking the whole concert from you. Don't make such a big deal out of nothing and remember. He will be leader again....and we will have to respect that. Without Jiyong there is no BigBang." 

"Without or with Jiyong there was still a BigBang. Because of me hyung. I have put in way more time than that lazy junkie ever did." 

"Who wrote the songs...who made the beats....who gave you those famous hits. Jiyong...yea he was not sober at the times these amazing things happened to us, but it was all him." 

"I still take credit for keeping this group a float." 

"I give you the credit." 

"Then why are you wasting time with that junkie. He is going to give promises like times before and then it up. He is going to disappoint you hyung and I would hate to see you go through that." 

"He is changed...you will see." 

"He will never change...he's a waste." 

Seunghyun stands from the chair. "That waste out there is the leader. BigBang is Jiyong's house...you are just the baby sitter." 

"Hyung...how could you..." 

"It's the truth and you know it." The man leaves the room with the door open. The venue is still quite and the older knows that people are wonder what is going on. Good thing people are under contract because they can't leak what is really happening to the outside world. Jiyong watches how Seunghyun goes back over to other stage hands and looks at his stage and other parts of his performance. 

Jiyong who is sitting around his dancers might as well make the best of this time and work. He is limited but he can still put on a good performance. He has had plenty of sprained ankles in the past. 

"Let's start from the top." says Jiyong looking at the dancers. Most are not use to Jiyong being to alert and thought it was going to be a easy day. The dancers stand to their feet and then go through crooked with Jiyong not hopping but doing plenty of movement to make the dancing and singing worth every ones time. They go through the entire song and the dance crew see a new side to Jiyong. 

Jiyong is sweating and smiling at the crew. "Wow I didn't know you were this good. I need to run a bit more huh." says Jiyong joking a bit making the younger dancers laugh a bit. Jiyong doesn't change a thing and just does what Youngbae has planned. He saw how him making a suggestion made people uncomfortable...he doesn't want to be that person anymore. He's tired of being the burden. 

BigBang finally has their group practice and it's staring with their new single Bang Bang Bang. It's the opening song for the tour and  it's a dance song. The music comes on and Jiyong claps and waits for Youngbae's part to come through. It was originally Jiyong's part but Jiyong was too high to argue. The chorus comes and Jiyong does his part Bang Bang Bang. Jiyong has that part mainly because that was the only thing that Jiyong could get out in the studio. Anything longer than that...just didn't really work. It was either too slurred or just terrible. Jiyong just says those three words and doesn't even rap. 

The songs ends and Jiyong is sweating bullets by now and is very hungry. He was mad at his hyung earlier...and is still a little moody with the man because he is just to truthful sometimes. Seunghyun is right. Jiyong just needs to go with the flow for now and earn every ones respect before making changes to things. Jiyong goes over to the food table and grabs a low budget snack only to have his hand smacked away. "Yah!" says Jiyong reaching for something else and throwing it in his mouth. 

"Yah...." says Jiyong when his wrist is grabbed for others to look at the grabbed wrist. "Hyung...yah...." 

"Follow me..." says the older in a tone. "We need to talk...." 

Jiyong lets go of the hand. "I don't feel like getting scolded..." 

"Aish...just follow me you punk..." The older start to walk to that same room where Seunghyun and Youngbae had  their talk. Jiyong trials slowly behind the man. The come into the room and Jiyong sighs. "I'm sorry...I was just not in a good mood earlier." 

The older nods. "Good. You apologize....sit down." says the older pointing at the chair. Jiyong does as old and huffs. He know something is coming. "Hyuuunnng....I apologized. What now...." 

Seunghyun sits down in a chair across from the younger and Jiyong eyes the man. The older then leans down and in the chair and grabs Jiyong's shoe quickly unlacing it. Jiyong then whines. "What are you...Hyung..." says Jiyong in a whine. "Why are you doing this here...." Seunghyun takes of Jiyong's sock and starts to rub his feet. "Shut up...you need this you brat...." 

"Hyung...what if...what if someone walks in..." 

"I'm rubbing your feet...what's so weird about that..." 

"Everything is weird about it!" says Jiyong with a loud whisper trying to pry his feet away from the older's hands. 

"Stop moving big foot!" says the older in a laugh. 

"You are not mad at me?"

"I never was you brat. You were the one with the mood swings. You and Bae need to work things out one day....I know it won't be easy..." 

Jiyong sighs. "Can we not talk about Youngbae right now....harder." 

"How do you like it." 

"..." 

The older massages Jiyong's ankle and moves up his calf muscle. Jiyong  leans his head back a bit. His feet have been killing him. "You doing ok out there?" 

"Ne...it's been a little hard. I can't really jump due to Gummy telling me to absolutely not to." 

"Ne don't jump around....not good for the baby..." says the older now putting the shoes back on. Ok foot rub is over. " 

Jiyong pouts "That's it....just five minutes..." 

Seunghyun then stands "You were the one who didn't want their feet rubbed in the first place." Jiyong stands too. "Well I didn't want someone walking in on us acting weird and ." 

"Who cares what they think and since when did you care." 

"Well I don't care I..." Jiyong stops mid sentence and holds his stomach a bit. Seunghyun then rushes over to the younger. "What's wrong..." Jiyong holds his stomach again and then puts both hands on it. "Weird..." 

"What Jiyong?" 

"I just...felt it...I felt it moving around...like a flutter...." 

Seunghyun laughs. "Oh that's it...for s sake...I thought it was something bad." 

"No...this is the first time I felt it move...like truly move around.. I just feel it in my stomach. I can't feel it with my hands yet." Jiyong takes one of his hyung's hands and puts it on his belly. "You feel it?" says the younger looking into the older's eyes. Seunghyun doesn't feel anything but a tiny bump. "No...not yet...but I will one day soon. Hello bean." says the older in a soft voice circling the belly a bit. 

"What are you hyungs doing?" says Seungri coming in and not really seeing much but Seunghyun moving his hand away from Jiyong's shirt. "Oh Jiyong thought that something was on his shirt after we finish talking. 

"Oh well everyone is going to call it early today. I have some rehearsals and Youngbae has some meetings." 

Jiyong nods. "Thanks Ri." 

Seungri looks at the two. "You sure nothing is going on between you two?" 

"Yeah...not a thing. I'm attracted to him." says Jiyong with a laugh. 

/////////////////////////////Home

The two come home from a long day and Jiyong can't help but go to his room and lay down. He is in stinky clothes but could care less. He lays on his side and closes his eyes to only hear a knock at the door. Jiyong turns over to see his hyung. "What's going on?" 

"I want to talk." 

Jiyong sits up. "What is it?" 

"Well...what you asked me last night..." 

"About what? Ooooh us being friends and you tucking hair behind my ear?" says Jiyong playfully 

Seunghyun blushes a bit. "Please don't make this hard for me you ." 

Jiyong didn't expect this reaction. He thought this was going to be over something else. "What is it then?" 

"Well Jiyong....I have never had...this...um...." 

"thoughts...feelings?" 

The older nods a bit. "Well...you...you have been...." 

Jiyong laughs a bit. "Hyung why are you this tongue tied?" 

"Because this isn't easy...you have been on my mind...like a lot lately." 

The room becomes silent. "So does that mean you have an interest in me?" 

"I don't know..." says the older "I have never felt like this...so...it's a little hard." Seunghyun is not even bi. So he doesn't know  what he is feeling. "When I'm with you. I feel comfortable I feel like I want to protect you...make you happy..." 

"Hyung..." says Jiyong not expecting this. "Hyung...that is a confession...are you sure...you are like straight...like straight as can be...you sure??" 

The older then nods. "I'm sure...I think that I have something for you..." 

"You are just being a good friend..." 

Seunghyun then takes a hand and caresses Jiyong's cheeks. "Do friends do this?" Jiyong shakes his head slightly...." Maybe." The older then comes closer. "How about this?" Jiyong shakes his head. "Not really..." 

"Then I guess friends never do this." He then plants his lips on the younger and Jiyong lets out a exhale. The two press their lips together for Seunghyun to slowly separate to then kiss Jiyong again and  a soft lip lock and a caress of Jiyong's black hair. Seunghyun pulls away a bit with eyes not sure of what he has just done. Jiyong places a hand over top of the youngers. "It's okay. It's a little scary truly kissing what you are not use to..." 

"But I feel like this is something I'm use to...us." The older then takes the smaller hand into his. "Do you feel the same?" 

Jiyong slowly nods. "I have ever since you started caring so much more about me..." 

"I can't guarantee anything...." 

"Let's just see where this goes." says Jiyong with a small smile. 

"I'm new so don't be too hard on me." 

"Hopefully you will be hard on me" Jiyong snickers but then laughs a little harder with the look of his hyung's face. "I'm just playing with you. I'm ... Haven't had in a bit." 

Seunghyun then laughs. "Why am I not surprised by that comment...you just...the moment was there and you just had to mess it up you punk." 

Jiyong then stands with the older's hand still in his. "I'm hungry." 

Seunghyun laughs. "When are you not." 

The two leave the room.

THANKS FOR READING! WHAT DO YOU THINK!? PLEASE UPVOTE AND COMMENT! HOW ARE YOUR STUDIES? DID YOU FINSIH YOUR PAPER? OK READ ANOTHER ONE OF MY FICS AND THEN GET BACK TO WORK KEKE. 

ELISE CHOI