The only thing that feels comfortable at the moment are sweaters. They are easy to put on and take off and since Jiyong is a hiphop artist most are over sized. Jiyong has been wearing a ton of them the past couple of weeks since Jiyong is now 4 months pregnant. He can see his belly a bit more but it's still not super noticeable. It's more like he had a six pack of beer and he didn't piss it out yet. 

Jiyong sits on the side of his bed and rubs his belly a bit. The morning sickness is still there a bit and Jiyong has been throwing up the past three nights. Of course with his pride he's not going to show how weak he has been at night. Plus he doesn't want to worry Seunghyun more than the man is worried about him going piss all the time.

The rapper puts his hand over his mouth as he feels another breakfast burrito make it's way into the toilet again. He just can't keep much down because of this baby. He still can get down lunch and dinner properly but when it comes to the morning. Jiyong is just not keeping it down....oh and vanilla is still not a good scent to have around Jiyong.

Jiyong's phone buzzes. "Hey are you almost ready?" says Jiyong's manager on the line.

"Yeah I will be in about 30 minutes."

The manager sighs. "Jiyong we were late yesterday as well to the studio. Youngbae is going to not tolerate this and you know it."

"I just don't feel well ok. You told him I'm sick right."

"They don't believe that and you know it. If you are going to change for good you need to be on time! Get you out here!"

Only Jiyong's manager can get away with speaking to him like that. Jiyong sighs and takes some more anti nausea meds and heads down stairs. Seunghyun is in Japan right now so he will not be home until later today. Jiyong kinda feels empty when the other is not there because outside of these walls of the Choi house hold. There is no one to relate what he is going through. Outside of these walls he is just Jiyong or GD or Gdragon. The recovering addict who is not pregnant with morning sickness.

/////////////////The Studio//////////////

Jiyong walks into the YG studio and Youngbae is in his assumed position. That chair that Jiyong use to sit in back in the day when he use to be so picky about everything. To then getting kicked out of the chair because he was too high to even make sense of his own words. The studio has a lot of good and not so good memories that Jiyong wishes that he could escape...but that's the reality of things. 

Youngbae sighs. "Jiyong we can get started on your part. Did you write your lyrics." says the man slightly spinning his chair. 

Jiyong nods and just goes in the booth. He puts on his headphones and takes a deep breath in the dark soundproof room. " I'm ready when you are" The beat drops and Jiyong starts to rap. Of course the lyrics are flawless. He does his doubles and his harmonies for the chorus and he is done. Everyone is not surprised by this because once again sober or not Jiyong always got things done...wel in the past his soberness determined how things went sometimes. 

Jiyong looks at Youngbae for approval but the man just makes a motion for Jiyong to come out. He understands the man is not happy to really be around him but he can at least acknowledge that Jiyong is trying to be a team player...well once again. Jiyong doesn't really expect much as he sits on the sofa holding his belly slightly. The baby has been floating around ever since he got to the studio and Jiyong just feels still a little sick. "Hyung. You ok?" 

Jiyong nods and looks up at the younger. "Ne...I just ate something weird the other day....didn't agree." 

Daesung snickers a bit. "Hyung you need to not eat that corner store food." 

Jiyong laughs a bit. "I don't touch that nasty cheap . I would definitely be sick off of that." 

Daesung smiles with his eyes and Youngbae clears his throat. "Seungri we need some of your vocals." The tone of voice is ugly. Almost as if Youngbae didn't want Jiyong to be talking to them. Jiyong just wants to ask what the man's deal is but that's not going any where.  Jiyong sits on the sofa and continues to just watch as Seungri sings in the booth. Jiyong can hear some bits that are not quite right but doesn't say anything when things could have been fixed. He stills feels that it's not his place yet to give critiques. Jiyong knows that Youngbae is under tons of stress because he has to make this bonus album just as good as the first. This is the album before they have to do their military duties. 

Daesung comes over with some noodles. "Here Hyung have some of these. They should make you feel better." 

Jiyong smiles and takes the food. "Oh thanks. I was feeling a bit hungry." Jiyong eats the food and Youngbae of course makes it known of how he feels. This starting to get under Jiyong's skin even more. They need to talk and squash this childish that they have been going through. Jiyong finishes his noodles and pretty much everyone is done for the day. 

Youngbae is packing up his things and Jiyong closes the door making the other look over at Jiyong. "What are you doing?" says Bae with a tone. Jiyong comes over. "We need to talk man to man. It's not going to work for the group if we can not at least be cool with each other when it comes to work." 

"You already know how I feel." says Youngbae leaning on the long desk. He's so not in the mood for conversation. 

"Well I'm sober. Tell me again so that we can fix things." 

Youngbae sighs and picks up his things. "I really don't want to have a Oprah moment with you right now. I really just want to go home and rest. I'm tired from working. Something you don't know." 

Jiyong sighs. "See...these damn comments. I'm sober I told you. almost 3 and a half months now. I'm completely sober and working my off like everyone else in this group. I'm trying to work things out. Can't we just be adults." 

"Adults..." laughs Youngbae a bit. "Do you realize what I have to do everyday to keep this group going. All the pressures of deadlines and answering to Yang." 

"Of course I know because I was once in your shoes remember." 

"Yea you once were" 

"Please....I'm really trying here. Just talk to me. What can make this work. Just tell me." says Jiyong in almost a pleading tone. 

"What will make me happy is you leaving this group. You leaving YG so I don't have to deal with your pitiful . You even dragged Hyung into your bull. You are just going to hurt him and I know it." 

"How do you know that. He is a grown man and can make his own decisions. I didn't tell him to do anything...and what does he have to do with you and me fixing our . I'm not leaving the group so just deal. Tell me what we can do to keep things professional. How about that?" 

"Just don't bother me don't talk to me...even if you are dying don't even bother me. That's how we will work. You are going to relapse any ways." 

" you Youngbae." says Jiyong. The words are hurtful. "I'm really trying with you. We use to be best friends." 

"We use to be best friends until you ed up and became a loser. Look at you. Gaining weight and can't even do practice properly. People only like you now because they feel sorry for you. Professional...you are far from it." 

Hate hate hate. Those are only the words that comes out of his mouth. Jiyong tears up a bit. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry..." says Jiyong feeling totally guilty. "I know that I'm wrong. I will do better...just believe in me....please...." says Jiyong almost begging until he feels a sharp pain in his stomach making him put his hand to it. "AAAAHH" says Jiyong in pain going towards the sofa leaning his hand on the arm of the sofa. Youngbae doesn't know what the hell is going on and just looks at Jiyong who starts to look really sweaty and then starts to see blood slightly on Jiyong's pants.

"Yah! What is wrong with you?" says the man slightly shaking the man who is now in his arms. "Yah! Jiyong stay with me!" Jiyong murmurs something and passes out cold. Youngbae panics and runs over to his phone and dials Seunghyun's number. Since Seunghyun has been there for Jiyong when he overdosed he figured knows what to do for Jiyong. 

"Hey how's recording" says Seunghyun picking up the phone. 

Youngbae then screams. "JIYONG PASSED OUT!" 

Seunghyun who is in Japan almost loses grip of his phone. "What happen?" 

"Jiyong got sweaty and he was just talking to me he just...just passed out....there is blood....what do we do hyung what drug is he on now?" 

"TAKE HIM TO GUMMY!" The older hangs up the phone and dials his manager. "Give me the next flight to Seoul...I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE SCHEDULE!" 

////////////////////Three hours later//////////////////////

Seunghyun is running through the YG building and comes running in to Gummy's clinic. "What happen?! Is he ok!!" Seunghyun goes to the doctor and Gummy smiles slightly. "Don't worry. It's just stress. He must have been through a lot this week."

Seunghyun runs over to Jiyong who is still sleeping and puts his hand in the smaller with tears in his eyes. "The baby is still ok? It's healthy?" 

Gummy pats Seunghyun on the back. "Don't worry it's fine. Jiyong has just been resting we cleaned him up and this happens sometimes...don't worry." 

Seunghyun sits next to the bed and holds Jiyong's hand. "Hey Jiyong ah. I'm here. You can wake up when you are ready. I'm going to feed you and cuddle you and bean." The older looks the younger over. "You have been through a lot ne...." 

"Who is bean and can someone tell me what is going on here...." says Youngbae looking over the two. He heard everything from Seunghyun's freak out to Gummy giving advice. Seunghyun knows that Jiyong doesn't want things to be told this way but he doesn't have a choice. "Jiyong is pregnant. 4 months." 

Youngbae laughs a bit. "No seriously hyung." 

"We are not kidding." says Gummy handing a picture of the ultra sound that was taken hours ago. The man looks at the picture and then at Jiyong. "How is this even possible." 

"It's rare but it can happen...." says Gummy watching how yet another person is processing the situation. 

"So that's why Jiyong can't hop...he's late all the time and gained weight...." says Youngbae to Seunghyun. The older nods. "Ne...Jiyong has been through a lot. He has been sober ever since he found out that he was pregnant. He went through the withdrawals and now is dedicated to turning his life around. He's really trying." 

Youngbae then scoffs. "You think that I would easy like him again. How the would I know this was really happening." 

"You were too busy putting Jiyong down and looking at him like a junkie and a human being. He has been trying so hard to get you to like him again. He wants Bigbang to be back like it was just as much as you do...." 

"DO NOT PUT YOUR GUILT BULL ON ME AGAIN!" 

Gummy then speaks up. "Can we please not start this . I can't have this in my clinic." 

Youngbae then calms down a bit. "I just....I just didn't know...." says the man almost sounding sorry in his words. Seunghyun then nods. "It's fine man. I just want us to be all good again." 

"We need to tell the group." says Youngbae. "They need to know what is happening to Jiyong....if he is going through this....this changes things for all of us." 

"I agree...we do need to tell the group...but please...let's let Jiyong decide how and when." 

Youngbae nods. "Wow...well there are two things I need to process. Don't worry I won't tell any one....but I need to leave for a bit." 

///////////////////9pm

Jiyong starts to move out of his sleep. He hears the sounds of machines and figures out where he is at instantly. "..." says Jiyong to himself. Gummy comes over and looks at the machines and then at Jiyong. "Oh good...you finally woke." 

Jiyong looks at the older. "What happen?" 

"You passed out and bled a bit." 

"What?" says Jiyong with eyes welling up with tears. "Is it ok?" 

"She's fine" says Gummy with a smile. 

"Oh I'm glad that she's....wait....it's a girl?!" says Jiyong shocked and now full on crying. "That's why I'm so damn emotional." 

"Does Seunghyun know?" 

Gummy smiles and shakes her head. "I figured that you might want to tell him." 

"Oh when he gets back he will be so happy to know." says Jiyong with a smile and picture of his new ultra sound. 

"Oh he's actually here now. Oh...there he is...." says Gummy pointing at the man. Seunghyun almost drops the bags of food as he rushes over to Jiyong. "You ok?" 

"Ne..." says Jiyong with a smile. 

Seunghyun is so happy he can't help but hug the younger lightly. "I'm so happy that you are ok!" says the older with glossy eyes. "Look I brought food for you and bean. I'm sure bean will like this. It's really good for getting back your energy." 

"Oh Soobin(Soobin is also spelled subin...but both are pronounced Soobin) is happy to see you brought her yummy treats." 

"Soobin?" says Seunghyun looking at Jiyong with a smile. "Is bean now Soobin?" 

"Ne...it's a girl" 

Seunghyun can't help but smile widely like a fool. He just laughs loudly with joy. "Soobin. SOoooobin....bean. bin. bean. bin...bin ah... I like it!" 

Jiyong is amused at how the man is more happy about the baby girl and the name more than Jiyong. Jiyong actually hoped that it was a girl for all the crying that he was doing at least three times a day. He feels that a girl will suit him well that's why he came up with the name Soobin way before he knew the of the baby. 

"So...can I leave now?" says Jiyong at Gummy. Jiyong is happy but he is still a little weak due to everything that he has been through the past four hours. 

"You wanna go home now?" says Seunghyun.

Jiyong nods. "Ne..." 

////////////////////////The condo/////////////////

Jiyong is sitting in his bed with a face of  worry. "You kidding me....He found out?" 

"Ne...but please don't stress over this. You knew that this would happen soon." 

Jiyong sighs. "I know...but I wish that he didn't find out this way and then feel guilted into feeling sorry for me." 

"He needs something to wash away that hate. It's good that he found out and the mother er actually cares." 

Jiyong nods. "Well that's maybe a positive....but we need to tell the whole group....really..." says Jiyong hesitant." 

Seunghyun nods still sitting on the side of the bed. "They deserve to know. Plus you won't be able to hide this soon." 

"Oh god they are going to ask about the baby's father....I still don't know who the that is...." says Jiyong worried. Seunghyun smiles and places his hand in Jiyong's "Just focus on getting better. We will reveal and talk about the heavy stuff later. Binnie needs to sleep." 

"Binnie now?" 

"Ne..." says the older getting closer to Jiyong. 

Jiyong looks the older over. "Why did you leave Japan....Gummy could have taken care of things you know...you need to get back there and...mmmmm" says the younger as his lips are captured into a kiss. The younger presses his lips and moves them into a passionate kiss taking Jiyong's breath away when the kiss is released. The older runs his hand through Jiyong's hair. "I needed to be here...I need to be here with you...." 

Jiyong then sighs. "But still you could havvveemmmM" says the younger as Seunghyun kisses him again. "Seunghyunnnnn" says Jiyong getting another kiss on the lips making Jiyong laugh. "Will you let me talk you dork!" 

Seunghyun smiles. "You won't stop talking about work." 

"You need to get back to Japan...." 

"They moved around my schedule...I go back tomorrow after the group meets." 

Jiyong hates that they have to tell everyone. "I hope it goes well." 

Seunghyun moves closer to Jiyong. "I want to be with you tonight....is that ok?" says the older moving over to cuddle Jiyong lightly. They fit perfectly together as one in the king sized bed. Jiyong puts his hands over the larger ones. "You were scared today huh?" says Jiyong in the now dark room. The older nods a bit. "I was...." 

"Don't worry I'm fine. I promise I will take it easy hyung." 

"Just...don't carry so much on your shoulders. Let me in on your stressors too....I can help....." 

Jiyong sighs. "I know...this is just...all new to me letting out everything...trusting people again.' 

"I understand...but tell me what you want in the future. Let's just be honest in the future." 

"Ok hyung?" 

"Ne?" 

"I farted." 

"Disgusting" 

Jiyong snickers. "I didn't" 

"Yeah I know because your farts smell horrible" 

"Whatever...not any better than your lethal bombs." 

"Ooooh please..." says the older in a laugh to having the both of them laughing like crazy. 

///////////////////////YG

Jiyong is in the recording studio for a emergency meeting. Jiyong, Seunghyun, and Youngbae are already there because they already know of the news. They plan on telling their dongsaengs. Daesung and Seungri about the baby and then they will tell Yang in a separate meeting today. 

Daesung and Seungri come into the room making Seungri laugh a bit. "Why so serious hyungs." 

Jiyong then stands. "I need to get this over with." 

Daesung then drops his smile. "What's going on?" 

Jiyong then lifts up his shirt a bit revealing his belly. "Meet Soobin...I'm pregnant." 

Daesung and Seungri are not sure if this is a joke or not. Seungri then speaks. "So...you are pregnant...like how is that?" 

Jiyong laughs a bit. "It's possible but rare." 

The band takes the news rather well as Jiyong explains things and how he has been hiding the baby. Everyone then starts to understand Jiyong a little better than before. "Well you have our support." says Daesung with a smile. "We will be good Uncles." says Seungri. 

Youngbae then nods. "We will be there...but we need to figure things out for tour since Jiyong is pregnant. We might have to have the your sooner since you will be showing soon." 

Jiyong nods. "I agree. We need to work even harder than before to get things started." Jiyong then quiets a bit...the Kwon leader stepped out. Jiyong doesn't want to step out of his bounds too soon. Youngbae is already sensitive enough. 

"Who is the father?" says Youngbae. 

Jiyong shakes his head. " I don't know because of my past bad habits..." 

"So you don't have any idea?" says Youngbae slightly shocked, but not surprised due to Jiyong's old life. 

Jiyong shakes his head again in shame..." I don't know..." Jiyong then feels then feels the embarrassment and the shame of not knowing. How careless he is for not even knowing a simple thing of knowing the father of his child. He hates himself for this...and feels sorry for his future child. Jiyong unconsciously hold his stomach in shame. 

"I'm the father." 

Jiyong laughs. "Sit down pabo." 

"No...I'm the father...Jiyong didn't want me involved but it's me..." 

Jiyong then shakes his head. "He's lying. He's just trying to help me out." 

Seunghyun then comes over to Jiyong and takes his hand in his and plants a kiss on Jiyong's lips. "We have been together for a while now too...Soobin is our baby...." 

Seungri then smiles. "I knew it!" 

Daesung who is in shock just smiles widely. "Omg..." 

Youngbae is just...well he is just being him. "Oh..." 

Seunghyun rubs Jiyong's belly a bit. "Please take care of us." says the older holding the back of Jiyong making the  two of them bow slightly. Jiyong raises his bow and looks at Seunghyun. Soon after the band mates leave Jiyong looks at Seunghyun. "Why you do that? Why you do that Seunghyun...they are really going to think that you are the father...." 

"Why not..." says Seunghyun. "This baby is everything to me...it feels as if it is mine too...like we..." Seunghyun holds the small stomach and looks into Jiyong's eyes. "Like we made this baby ourselves. I don't care if she doesn't have my DNA. She will be ours...can't I have her too...can't I have you too?" says the older looking into Jiyong's eyes. 

"Hyung...you don't know what you are getting yourself into. You just confessed to me not too long ago. This is a little fast." 

"This baby is the best thing that has happened to you to me to us." 

"The baby is great of course....but hyung....the labels they will give you. What if this leaks. Have you thought of that?" 

Seunghyun shrugs his shoulders. "That's why I have a masters degree so I can do things beyond this whole idol world. If we need to I will go away to a far away land." says the older in a epic tone of voice. 

Jiyong looks at the older. "Seriously. Look at the future. I will get bigger. There will be a screaming baby thinking that you are it's father. Hyung you need to think on this. I can tell them you are covering for me...please just think about this first." 

"But I." "Think about this. I'm thinking of my childs future. I don't want to confuse her with your crazy thoughts. She needs stability not a father who will dip out on her after she's born. Hyung...this will be a hard road..."

Seunghyun then looks at Jiyong's eyes. "Don't you see that I want to take this road with you. I want to go through the struggle with you. I want to be in this child's life." The words are sincere. It's just so sudden. 

"I can't accept you as the father right now. They can believe that you will be there...but I can't Hyung...I'm sorry. I just need to focus on me right now actually." 

"What are you saying?" 

"Hyung...I just need space ok...I went to my condo recently and I...think it's time to move out...I need to get back to reality. I can't always depend on you." 

Seunghyun then pleads. "I will back off. I won't bother you...please..." 

Jiyong shakes his head. "This isn't a fairy tale." 

"No it's not. It's a person who is afraid that they are falling in love. Scared that thing will fall apart because they are too good."

Jiyong doesn't respond... and leaves the studio the meeting with Yang will get postponed. 

/////////////////////Seunghyun's 

Jiyong is planning on leaving tonight. He goes through his room and starts to compile everything on his bed so that his packers send everything back in one piece. Jiyong murmurs as he goes through his face creams. "Hyung..." Jiyong murmurs and goes towards the older's bed room. He hasn't been in there once but he needs his face creams that he knows Seunghyun likes to borrow. 

The room is dim and Seunghyun is still not home. Jiyong goes in and the room is huge it beautiful views and a king sized bed to take in everything else in the massive room. Jiyong can't help but look around a bit but then notices things on the other side of his bed. "Oh my..." says Jiyong as he goes to find shopping bags from expensive stores. He can't help but notice lots of pink peaking out of some of the bags. He picks up an item and it's a baby shirt with  a puppy to then digging and finding more and more clothes and toys and books. Jiyong had no idea. 

The younger tears up a bit as he goes to the bathroom and picks up his things and leaves the room. Jiyong slowly goes down the stairs and can't even make it all the way down as he burst into tears. The puppy shirt is still in his hands. A warm comes to his body as arms hold him tightly. "Hyung...." says Jiyong. 

Seunghyun who is also crying holds Jiyong..."I was seeing if you needed help..."

Jiyong looks at the hurt eyes and holds the older again. "I don't need help." 

The older then releases the hug. "I understand." 

Jiyong holds out the puppy shirt to the older making Seunghyun panic a bit. "I'm sorry I was so excited Jiyong....I just couldn't believe it was a girl...I'm sorry..." 

Jiyong smiles a bit. "I think that she will like it." 

Seunghyun smiles. "You are not leaving?" 

Jiyong shakes his head. "No...I can't...I can't tell you sorry I am for pushing you away. I'm just not use to having all of this attention." 

Seunghyun smiles and hugs Jiyong again. All Seunghyun wanted to be in life was a successful something and a father. He has always wanted children of his own. Yeah this may be fast but he has loved Jiyong a long time. Helping him all these years when Jiyong was the most low. He couldn't help but fall in love it him. Call it twisted...but he always had hope for him. He loved him even more when he decided to really keep the baby. He never wants to see him stepping on that ledge again. 

"Hyunnie" 

Seunghyun smiles. "Ne...Yongie..." 

"I'm hungry" 

"Of course you are..." 

HELLO! WHAT DO YOU THINK?! THANK FOR READING! UPVOTE PLEASE! THANKS FOR READING!! 

ELISE CHOI

.