"So you just expect me to just get in this car and just go with the flow." says Jiyong outside of the YG building. Seunghyun was serious about taking Jiyong under his care and try to make him sober again. Things were out of control but Jiyong has really reached his limit when he attempted to kill himself by almost jumping from a ledge. That image haunts Seunghyun even at this minute...he can't let Jiyong out of his sight. He needs him around for his sanity. 

"Ne...just as I said. Come home with me. Live with me and let me help you get sober. I have been a junkie before so I know what you will go through..." 

Jiyong sighs and leans against the open car door. He looks up at the sky remembering what brought him here and why his hyung is so persistent about taking him home. "You can't me..." 

Seunghyun laughs a bit. "You are not my type...unless you have a now too..." 

Jiyong then hisses grabbing his stomach. "Well you better feed me well. I'm hungry." Jiyong gets into the car. Seunghyun said that he can leave at any time so Jiyong's plan is just to stay for one day. He will sneak off back to his place when ever Seunghyun falls to sleep the next night. He knows that his hyung is worried, so he will give him a little of his time. Jiyong's stomach cramps a bit as he puts on his seat belt. "Ach..." he winces. 

Seunghyun looks the man over. "Are you ok?!" says the man a little too worried. 

"Aish...this is exactly what I don't want...don't feel sorry for me...this is not your problem...just focus on the drugs...." says Jiyong looking the man in the eye. He can see the worry in the man's voice. "Drive will ya...I need some food." 

Seunghyun nods. "Ne ne...I will see what's in the fridge." 

They start their drive over to Seunghyun's place and they finally reach a stop light. The windows are super tinted in Seunghyun's Benz no one can see in. "One thing...." 

"What is it?" 

"Get rid of the maid in your house...I don't want anyone seeing me like this..." 

"You can trust my people...they know better to spread secrets...." 

Jiyong then laughs to himself. "Yeah not like this demon inside me will still be alive...maybe it will die soon." 

"Stop saying that....it's disgusting...." says the older gripping the wheel at Jiyong's morbid comments. "You have no idea what you are talking about..." 

"I do...I'm being inconvenienced." 

"That is a life inside of your body..." says the older still keeping his eyes on the road resisting his urge to slap the younger. 

"You know...you could just take me to my place...I don't think that this is going to work...." 

"Too late...we are already in the direction towards my house....I'm not turning around and you are not leaving." 

"Who do you think you are." 

"A concerned friend who thinks that you are going to kill yourself if you are left alone. Because I know that you are too weak to even handle what is going on in your life right now..." 

Jiyong then looks towards the window and doesn't say another word. Seunghyun is right. If Jiyong was by himself...he would probably inflict harm upon himself...no telling what he would do under the influence of drugs. The drive to Seunghyun's is not too far and the neighborhood is quiet due to people not knowing where the kpop idol's new residence is; also the neighborhood is gated which is a plus for idols. 

After Seunghyun gained more movie roles and promotions he acquired enough money to buy a home for himself. He was tired of the condo life of people always knowing when you left and when you were bringing people over. Seunghyun has never had a scandal but it was no fun sneaking women in and out of his own home. 

Jiyong has never been to the new house and he was too high to go to the house warming party. The younger rises up in his seat a bit when they reach the private garage door opening from the street. The garage opens slowly revealing yet another luxury vehicle parked to the left. Seunghyun pulls in and closes the garage turning off the car in the process. "Welcome to my home." 

Jiyong looks around. "Wow you really did a lot for yourself" Laughs the younger still sitting in the now dark garage. Seunghyun then gets out of the car. "Follow me..." 

The younger follows as told and watches as Seunghyun opens the door leading out of the garage to a small hallway. The hallway then leads them into a huge luxury kitchen to then when Jiyong turns around a huge living and dining room. The whole main floor is a open concept Grey and white themed with modern furnishings and large windows that look out to a lush green garden. Jiyong looks around in awe because his condo is nice but nothing compared to Seunghyun's new place. 

"It's nice huh?" says Seunghyun laying down his keys with a grin. He looks at Jiyong and smiles. "Follow me...I will show you to your room." 

"My room?" 

"Yeah...where else would you be sleeping...not with me...." says the older laughing  a bit. They go up a straight set of stairs that seem to blend seamlessly with the rest of the house. The stairs lead up to a bed room to the left of the stairs The upstairs is nice too as it has a little living room that sits a sofa and a TV on the wall. "Come in here..." 

Jiyong follows the man and comes into a room with a Queen sized bed with a black head board and White bedding. To the left is a chair a TV on the wall and a large window. On the other side of the bed lays the closet and the bathroom attached to it. Jiyong looks at a bag on top of the bed. "Why is my bag here..." 

"I had people bring your stuff over." 

Jiyong looks at the older. "Someone packed for me?" The fashion King normally likes to pack for himself since he has a very forward sense of style. 

"You are not really going any where...just make do of what's in there..." 

Jiyong goes over to the bag and opens it with a hiss. "Who the packed these...half of this stuff doesn't match...." 

Seunghyun then sighs. "I did it ok...while you were sleeping...just...just deal with it...order online for all I care..." The older then collects himself. "You are hungry right...." 

Jiyong then pulls out his computer. "Well at least you got some things right." He takes out a notebook and looks at it. "This isn't mine." 

"Maybe you might want to write when you are bored...you use to write all the time." 

Jiyong sighs a bit and pushes the book to the side. "You laying it a little strong here. Are you trying to run for president and needing my vote." says the younger referring to the older's eagerness to get him better. 

"I just put it in there...don't think of it as much..." 

Jiyong walks past the older. "Where's your room?" Seunghyun follows the younger out of the room. "It's the room on the far left." 

Jiyong goes over to the room and goes into a massive master bedroom with Dark grey walls and white furniture to balance things out. The bed is a King sized with a massive headboard. There is a sitting area and a small hallway that leads to a bathroom. Jiyong walks over to the massive windows and stares out into the green backyard. "Wow this is really private." says the younger leaning against the glass slightly looking down at the rest of the green. 

"I always wanted a place like this and I'm happy to have it...everything that bigbang has given me has been a lot of good." 

Jiyong laughs a bit.."Oh I'm a lot of good?" The younger laughs again. 

"You know you are not so bad...when you are sober you say you don't know how to act sober when really you are right now..." 

Jiyong knows that he is sober and it's a weird feeling being this many hours with out a fix. The stomach grumbles on the younger again. "I'm hungry." says the younger walking out of the room. 

Seunghyun takes the two down to the kitchen and Jiyong sits at the kitchen Island resting his arms on the grey granite counter top. "What do you have here?" says Jiyong a little impatient. 

"Just wait you brat." says Seunghyun taking the food out of the fridge. There are instructions for all of the dishes and Seunghyun takes out a couple and warms them up in the microwave. The food comes out and Seunghyun places the food in front of Jiyong. The younger  eyes the dishes. "What is this?"

"Lunch you brat...just eat it..it's not that instant I saw all in your kitchen." 

"Yah first of all... you...who told you to..." Jiyong stops talking as he takes a bite out of the food. He literally melts to the warmth and Seunghyun grins. "It's good huh?" 

Jiyong continues to eat. "Do you have any more side dishes." 

"Greedy..." says the older in a laugh as he pulls some more food out of the fridge for the younger to eat. Jiyong continues to eat and pretty much eats most of the food that was prepared. "Wow...didn't think that you would eat so much...must be because you are eating for two now..." The older trails off at his sentence...he shouldn't have said that.. Jiyong makes a blank look and puts down the chop sticks. "I'm done eating." says the younger now just looking away from the food. 

"You didn't look like you were done...there's more food in the fridge." 

"I'm done eating." and just like that. Jiyong's wall is back up and he doesn't want to think about anything relating to the baby. 

"So are you going to starve yourself now Junkie?" says the older a little annoyed how Jiyong just changed. 

"I really don't care..." says Jiyong getting out of his chair. "I just need to stay with you right...I don't have to listen to you...I'm taking a  nap..." 

The older could have snapped at Jiyong...but it's just not worth it. Thing are still very new because it hasn't been 24 hours since Jiyong almost killed himself. Jiyong slowly walks out of the kitchen putting a hand to his stomach that is now grumbling. He slowly goes up the stairs and into his now bedroom with a close to the door. The younger sits on the bed to then curl in a ball as a tear escapes his eyes. "Is this how life is going to be for now on." The younger closes his eyes tightly. "Go away..." 

*****

Jiyong  looks around and it's all grey. He looks in front of him and there is now the view of Seoul. He looks down and he is standing at the ledge again. The wind blows and blows and it starts to rain. Jiyong looks at the grey city as the rain pours down. He then hears cries behind him but he can't turn around as his feet move and

falls

****

"Hah!!....hah hah..hah" says Jiyong in a pant as he wakes up from his sleep. The dream only felt like 30 seconds but looking outside it is clearly dark. Jiyong reaches around for his phone and sees tons of missed calls and text but notices it's 2am. Jiyong was sleep over nine hours and he is in a sweat. The younger his up and combs back his sweaty hair to then feel his stomach growl and cramp up a bit. "Ach" says the younger in slight pain. "Fine fine..." mumbles the younger to himself. He needs to eat again and the urge is like nothing else.

Jiyong makes his way down the stairs in the now dimly lit mansion. The kitchen is almost glowing in glory as Jiyong makes it to his destination. Hunger is starting to become almost more of a craving then drugs as the younger makes it over to the fridge pulling out randomness on the counter. He opens containers and starts to eat what ever is in them. He is not even sure if stuff needs to be warmed up...doesn't matter at the moment as sauce starts to dribble down his chin.

"Mmmm where have you been all my life."  Jiyong digs his chop sticks in the rice cooker. His stomach grumbles a bit and the younger then laughs as he realizes what he is doing. He pretty much created an atomic bomb in his hyung's kitchen. There are dishes every where...and left over...well Jiyong pretty much ate it.  Jiyong holds on to his slightly sticking out belly and rubs it a bit as he looks in cabinets for more food. 

Seunghyun is in shock to what the state his kitchen is in. He has been there the whole time and didn't want to disrupt the younger eating...even though his kitchen was going to get intentionally destroyed with containers and the mess of Jiyong. He watches as Jiyong inconsciously rubs his belly as he looks for food. The younger doesn't have a bump yet but when the man is full and wearing  a tight shirt like he is now the belly is very apparent. 

Jiyong opens the freezer and pulls out vanilla ice cream and opens the lid. He grabs a spoon and then takes a whiff of the goodness to then making a face of disgust to then running over to the sink to puke his brains out. "..." growls Jiyong as he continues to pretty much puke up the food that he has eaten. 

The younger turns on the sink and then leans against it with a sigh. He feels his stomach turning a bit. "Demon..." The younger mumbles to himself. "Just die...." says the younger again as he melts against the counter down to the floor in a soft sob. "Just...die..." He says again with the water still running on high pushing the puke down the drain. The younger then stands up to then start going through drawers. Jiyong searches and then stops 

Seunghyun feels like he just watched an intense scene from a movie. He comes running out of no where "DON'T DO IT!" Jiyong's eyes widen with tears in his eyes.

"JUST LET ME DIE WILL YA!" He screams. "STOP BEING NICE TO ME. JUST...STOP!!" He screams again with the knife still in his hands with a tremble.

The older sees the shaking man and can't help but cry too. "Please...I beg of you." says the man with hurt in his eyes. Jiyong looks the man in the eyes and for the first time...he truly sees what he is doing to this man. Jiyong is selfish but he is very much a human as he slowly puts down the knife. Seunghyun comes rushing over to the younger putting him in a hug. "Thank you Jiyong ah...thank you..." the man says the name wrapping the man tightly in his arms. Jiyong grips the man and sobs in his arms. The Cry is sad as you can hear Jiyong's pain through every breath. 

He feels defeated. 

Seunghyun pats the younger's shoulder as he continues to cry for minutes to eventually having the cries die down to a now silent room. "Please don't give up. I haven't given up on you yet." He releases the hug and looks the younger in the eyes. "Are you done crying?" Jiyong averts his eyes. He has never been so weak in front of someone and Seunghyun makes it seem like everything is ok. A warm he hasn't felt in years. "I'm fine..." The younger then makes his way up the stairs. 

"Are you not hungry any more?" 

Jiyong doesn't respond and just continues up the stairs. Seunghyun sighs as he hears a door closed shut again. He know that he will get  a lot of this but he is not giving up. He will get back the friend that he once knew. The friend that would do anything for him...the friend that brought him to bigbang and encouraged him to lose weight. He wants back his Jiyong because it has been too long. 

"Hey..." says Seunghyun picking up his phone. "Ne...it's been a little rough..no...no...it's fine...yea..." the older sighs as he listens to gummy speak to him on the phone. The women is concerned about the environment. "Well. I feel since I have been through some of his burdens...I can help him...just...trust me."  The older looks down with a laugh. "The food...well he ate all of it and then got rid of it minutes later. Seems he is repulsed by vanilla." The older laughs again into the phone. "Thanks noona...ne...ne..." 

The older hangs up the phone and then looks at the mess. "Granny will kill me." says the older starting to clean up a bit. The people who work in his home are older. Most are not even that familiar with bigbang. Granny is the one who cooks and leaves meals in Seunghyun's fridge for the week. Looks like she will be cooking more often with the way the fridge looks now.. 

Seunghyun goes into the fridge and opens up a container that is untouched by Jiyong. The container contains a soup that could possibly stay in Jiyong's system better. The older puts the food on a tray and slowly goes up the stairs and goes over to the door. He doesn't bother knocking because most likely Jiyong is sleep and he was as the younger didn't even turn off the lights as he is sleeping soundly. The younger looks exhausted as he sleeps with a slight snore. "I guess the prince does snore" laughs the older at a Jiyong who doesn't wake up easily. 

He leaves the room and turns off the lights. "At least he can't destroy anything in his sleep." 

A couple of hours later Seunghyun comes back to the room to see Jiyong is shivering. The drugs are starting to get out of his system with the way the man is shivering in a cold sweat. The older hurries to the bedside and touches Jiyong's forehead. The younger who sleeps hard doesn't even wake up to the older touching him. 

Seunghyun then grabs a thermometer and puts it in the younger's ear. The reading shows a high fever making the older freak out. Jiyong rolls a bit mumbling something incoherently shivering some more. Seunghyun sighs and then gets in the bed and brings his body against the younger's. The man is so tiny his body fits well with his. Because of the drugs he can feel the bones of Jiyong's spine making the older tear up a bit. "Come Jiyong...you need to warm up...." says the older rubbing his arms across the smaller back. 

The smaller man opens a his eyes a bit but he is so weak he can't speak. "Shhh...don't talk...just go back to sleep...hyung has got you...." 

Jiyong falls back to sleep to eventually having the  fever subsiding. 

//////////////////////7am/////////////////////

Jiyong wakes up feeling extremely rested. He rolls a bit and feels a weight next to him. He looks over and sees that it's his hyung next to him. Jiyong feels his forehead and remembers blurs of last night. He remembers he was cold very cold. "Must have had a fever...." The younger then scoots out of the bed and then goes to the bathroom. He looks at himself in the mirror and feels a little dizzy due to the sober life. "I need something..." says the younger going through cabinets...which are mostly empty. He then goes into the linen closet and looks to find a bottle. He gets excited and then mutter to himself in disgust. "Prenatal pills...". 

From the bed you can see into the bathroom. Seunghyun is awake because he is a light sleeper. He watched as Jiyong tried to find a fix. "How did you sleep...." 

Jiyong puts the pills down. "Fine..." says the younger short. 

"Well hyung deserves a thanks because you had a fever last night." 

"I know..." says Jiyong pointing at the thermometer. "You could have just given me a reducer." 

"You are pregnant...I couldn't..." 

"Aish..." says Jiyong reminded again. "Can you just ing avoid that topic." 

"What your pregnancy...?" says the older sitting up a bit with hair every where making Jiyong laugh. "You look lovely hyung." 

" you..." says the older getting off the bed. He goes to the bathroom and runs some water and pushes his hair down. "You hungry." 

Jiyong can't help but get a little excited. "You get more food?" 

"Ne you monster." The granny came in early this morning and filled the fridge with premade food. "How do you feel?" 

"Fine...why do you keep asking me..." 

"Because you kept holding your stomach last night...thought you were in pain..." 

"You were there the whole time...?" 

"Yeah....just happened...not like we haven't shared a bed before. We use to room together remember..." 

Jiyong then walks out of the bathroom. "Feed me." 

"Well...good morning to you...at least brush your teeth..." 

"Who are you my ing mom..." says Jiyong coming closer to the older. 

Seunghyun backs up a bit. "What are you doing?" 

"I want to share something with you?" 

"I don't want you to share..." says the older in a laugh. Jiyong comes closer and haaaa's his bad breath at the older making the older slightly cough. "...what is brewing in  there..." 

"Feed me or you will suffer..." 

Seunghyun laughs as Jiyong starts  chasing the older with his bad breath. This brings back memories of when they use to room together. When they were both sober and barely starting high school. They use to do everything together. They all did. Jiyong was very lively back in the day and this makes Seunghyun miss this...and it's very rare to see Jiyong like this. The two become exhausted and fall back on the queen bed out of breath. Seunghyun smiles to himself. "I missed this..." 

Jiyong turns his head with a smile. "What?" 

"Us...I missed this...I missed your bad breath." 

Jiyong laughs. "Why are you so mushy so early..." He breathes out his bad breath again before getting off the bed listen to his hyung cussing under his breath. 

"s sake Jiyong...." says the older in a laugh. "Let's go down and eat huh?" 

They both go down stairs and breakfast is already prepared for them. Jiyong goes to sit in one of the chairs at the round breakfast table and eats away at the fresh food. "Your lady cooks well...I might need to borrow her." 

"Forget it..she is mine...." says the older eating his as hungerly. 

Jiyong looks down at his juice and then at the other. "Why do you have coffee...I want some...not this juice." 

"You shouldn't..." 

"Why?" 

"Well...it's because of your withdrawals..." 

Jiyong laughs a bit. "That has nothing to do with my addiction...." The younger laughs a bit...to then dropping his laugh a bit. "Oh...I know why now...." 

"Jiyong it's just I want you to take care of yourself. This is one of the reasons why I want you here for a bit." 

"To take care of my self...I understand...the drugs I understand...this thing in me...I don't care don't you realize that now..." 

"You don't care...I know...but there are moments where you do care...are not curious to how this all will plan out?" 

"No...." says Jiyong taking a bite of bread to then sigh. "To be honest..." The younger looks up at the ceiling blinking his eyes rapid to then looking at the older with teary eyes. "I'm scared..." 

Seunghyun smiles. "I know...but remember you are not alone in this. Hyung is here for you Jiyong." 

"What if I mess up....what if I relapse....what if I actually kill this thing..." 

"So you don't really want it to die?" 

Jiyong shifting in his chair. "I don't know what I want right now..." 

Seunghyun smiles. "We'll figure things out together." 

"Together?" 

"Ne" 

"Well what will we do when the public finds out that I'm a freak show and that I don't know the father...what then..." Jiyong is still trying to figure out how to trust this man. 

"Let's just focus on the now. Don't worry about the future yet." 

Jiyong takes a bite of bread. "It's hard not to think ahead..." 

Hello all! I went on vacation and now I'm back! What do you think of the story? Please UPVOTE and COMMENT^^

Elise Choi