m y  r e a l  w i s h  i s . . . 

Jungkook needed a diversion. He needed something that could get his mind off of everything that was happening around him. This was all too much to take in, and though he had no where to go, he just couldn't face it. The truth was just too painful to look at. Everything was happening too quickly and there wasn't enough time for Jungkook to recover or even take a breather. He felt his chest becoming tighter and tighter, his mind getting fuzzier and fuzzier... things were just getting out of hand.

It felt like it was just seconds when in reality, it's been a few months since now. 

The group had went through their own ups and downs and like Jungkook, none were recovering that easily.

Since two or three months from now, neither Jungkook or the others had any trace on where Namjoon went. Suga once told them that Namjoon had chosen to be a trainee under this company and thus, is no longer attending the university they both were in. Namjoon had probably stopped studying in college perhaps as he was now focused on his training and his future debut. All of them knew that trainees were never given that much freedom or public appearance as they are tied to practice to their best. That meant Namjoon was somewhat "gone".

Jimin and Hoseok never really reconciled. All of them tried their best to make the two be friends again but it seems that their tainted friendship can never be returned. The two finally decided to go their own ways: Jimin and Hoseok both leaving Bangtan to start again. Jimin met his own new friends and had a new dance crew while Hoseok slowly grew into a quiet introvert. The remaining four knew that nothing could be done anymore and thus, they decided to give up.

Jin never really left, but due to the fact that he was the eldest and had the cleanest and strongest path to take, he decided to focus on his studies and future— Bangtan coming in last in his priorities. Jungkook wouldn't blame him, he did have a strong dream and a great future waiting so why risk it?

Suga took Jin's place during his absence, since he is the second eldest, but Jungkook alone knew what was really happening in Suga's thoughts— since he was the one and only person who heard their conversation that night. He knew that Suga's actually hurting inside due to the fact that his closest friend, Namjoon, is no longer with them. That Namjoon left them— his so-called family— to be a trainee. Yes, it's his dream, but Suga didn't do the same thing despite being in the same situation they were in. The absence of Namjoon made Suga lose half of his self. 

Taehyung was never the same. He barely smiled and if he did, it was something... odd? It wasn't that same smile Taehyung carried before. He didn't have that happy-go-lucky aura shrouding himself anymore. His laughs were half-hearted and Jungkook wasn't exactly sure if it was just him. Taehyung tried bringing his own self back, alas, the past him was long gone.

And with no contacts to either Hoseok or Jimin, Jungkook was all that was left. He never really moved on from Eunmi. That night he saw Eunmi kissing, various emotions rose in him. Something made him punch that guy, push Eunmi away and spit harsh words at her, one of them being "We're over." Eunmi didn't really seem to care much after she failed to grab Jungkook at one try, and that hurt him more. The girl of his dreams, gone. He never moved on and the pain was always stuck there in his heart. Perhaps that's what Hoseok and Taehyung had felt... and needless to say, it damn hurts.

Just like that, the once youthful Bangtan was gone. 

"Let's get wasted."

Three words. That was all it took for Jungkook to silently hit himself mentally. He regretted lots of things too late. 

It was just some random day the four of them were hanging around when Taehyung proposed something Jungkook's obviously not allowed of— clubbing and drinking. Apparently, Taehyung pointed out the fact that they were all too tensed and the idea of them finding a distraction might do the trick. Jungkook was rather curious on what secrets these "clubs" held so he instantly agreed, only to be held back again by Jin himself, remembering that the youngest is merely nothing but an eighteen-years old. Suga soon agreed with the eldest, but with Taehyung insisting that nothing "terrible" would happen, they eventually agree. 

Perhaps they were bribed at the part where Taehyung reminded them of who and what they really were. "We were born to be rebellious and to go against the rules, right, Bangtan?" 

So that one night, instead of studying or advance reading, Jungkook snuck out of the Jeon residence once more. It's been so long so it was kind of new to him again. It was something thrilling and Jungkook could remember how he used to do it before. He'd be as quiet as he can, stock up pillows underneath his blanket so his parents won't notice his absence, lock the door and climb down from his room's window. There was this surging feeling of adrenaline suddenly coarsing through his veins.

And it felt nice. 

With his wallet and his phone along with him, Jungkook met up with the older three soon enough. Jungkook needed an I.D to identify his age, but with the fact that he does look a bit older than his age (and the fact that Taehyung has connections inside the club), they easily got inside. 

Jungkook didn't like the place instantly. The place was too noisy and crowded, and those're two things the teen greatly despises. The loud music was booming and somewhat destroying his eardrums within seconds. He could hear people laughing as if there's no tomorrow, screaming profanities along the lines. Not like he had a thing with cursing— he's rather used to those. He just couldn't tolerate the fact that everything he hated and had never dreamt of having to flash right before his very eyes.

"You'll get used to it here." Taehyung said before he handed a glass of some liquor-thing to him. He saw how Suga and Jin chugged it down with ease, so maybe it isn't that bad.

That was a wrong choice.

Jungkook didn't know "sipping" was an option so he chugged the glass down similar to how the older ones did. He instantly felt the burning sensation going down his throat along with the liquor. It made him choke and cough vigorously, barely stopping even with Taehyung patting his back. He felt something in him burn and kick in after that glass of whatever-it-was. His head felt fuzzy all of the sudden. 

Not necessarily drunk but the shock had gotten the best of him. The sudden urge to throw up came next, only to be prevented when Jin handed him a glass of water. He greedily drank it down, hoping that the sensation left by the liquor with fade away. It did.. slowly. How he wish he had simply negotiated with Taehyung earlier on not going here but that was his mistake yet again— it's too late.

He swears he'd never agree to this "clubbing" thing when he gets out again...

—...Not.

It was something. Taehyung yet again convinced him. Perhaps it was peer pressure? The fact that he wanted to be an adult-like person or to just experience the thrill and so?

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