i  b e c o m e  l i k e  d u s t  t o  y o u . . . 

Jungkook isn't that guy who hates school for everything. Sometimes, he also finds something good about it: breaks, festivals, field trips, and most especially, meeting his friends. He looks forward on having lunch with Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok on the rooftop, opening up weird conversations out of the blue. He looks forward to what trouble they can cause and escape swiftly. He— they— look forward to the thrill waiting for them.

But that one day during October, something clicked and changed in Jungkook.

Second semester had started. Jungkook had quite felt better and better in this first year of Highschool. His classmates were quite the loud ones, but he didn't mind. He had some classmates he could talk to and approach, but often times, he would prefer sitting on his own place, scribbling and doodling on the back of his notebook. Sometimes, he'd just stare on the blackboard, day dreaming or planning what they can do later at night. If he's doing neither, he's taking a short nap.

Another reason why he naps isn't just because he's left with nothing to do is the fact that their constant late night roamings during school days had drained his energy gradually. He'd come home around three or four in the morning and not get that much sleep anymore. If he's lucky enough, he could get home at around two in the morning and get an extra hour sleeping. As for his homework? He'd do them before they go on their late night gigs, so it's all good.

For this time, Jungkook was busy scribbling on his notebook. He was too concentrated that he couldn't hear the loud noises his classmates were making, their constant chattering, their laughter, the sound of their chairs squeaking as it makes contact with the floor, their footsteps— nothing. He couldn't hear anything. 

Tap. 

Tap.

Tap.

His eyes suddenly raised up, enough to look over the window of their classroom. He wasn't sure if it were a teacher or not— but based on the uniform this female was wearing, Jungkook's sure that this lady isn't one of the faculty members. He saw how her brownish-black hair flowed with the wind, how porcelain white her skin was and those joyful eyes— Jungkook was sure that they were sparkling. He was keen enough to see how rose-pink her thin lips were and on how they were somewhat curled into a small smile. 

What was a student up to, roaming around like that in the middle of class? Was she going around causing troubles too? Aren't he and the other three the only ones brave enough to cause a ruckus in the campus? Were girls starting to ride their flow too? Impossible, she looks angelic— surely she's not into those kinds of things. 

Something clicked and snapped in Jungkook. Curiosity got the best of him as he jolted up and ran out of their room, wanting to chase the female outside. His legs carried him outside, but not fast enough to catch the female stranger. She was already walking off, a few meters away from him by now. Jungkook wanted to continue chasing her, but something in him made him freeze and stop as he watched her. To his surprise, he sees how the female came across with a teacher who, instead of scolding her, somewhat welcomed her warmly as he pointed somewhere past Jungkook—

"Hey! Jeon Jungkook! Get back in your classroom!" Jungkook hears the teacher shout at him, making him jolt up in surprise. The same female turns around to his direction, a wide grin on her face as she was seemingly giggling.

For the first time in his life, Jungkook felt his face flush into a bright shade of scarlet.

Days felt a bit heavier than usual for the sixteen-years old Jungkook. Something in him just wasn't right anymore. Something in him just didn't seem to be "Jeon Jungkook" anymore. Something snapped and spun in him, burning him inside out. It wasn't just the thrill of those troubles they'd bring out nor was it the fact that he simply comes to school for his friends— there was something else now. Something unexplainable and yet terrifying for the young teen... something that was slowly consuming him and taking over the best of him.

It's not just him who noticed it, his friends had surely seen it clearly as well. Nights weren't just the same anymore for their youngest, who was somewhat caught and tied up in an invisible trap. He wasn't that happy-go-lucky type of kid anymore, nor was he the same carefree Jungkook anymore. Slowly and bit by bit, they witnessed how Jeon Jungkook morphed into someone different.

Namjoon was the first to notice this. Soon enough, Jin saw it too and told Suga about it. Then the rest came about and witnessed their precious Jungkook changing. It wasn't really a "bad" change, but it was something... out of the blue. It wasn't his attitude, nor his perspective, nor his looks or what so ever. If they'd put it in a simple way, Jungkook isn't showing any changes physically or mentally. What bothered them though was the sight of the teen seemingly confused and lost. As if something invisible to the eye was wrapping and choking him by the neck. Jungkook is the type to space around, yes, but these past days, he's spacing out way more often. He doesn't respond to the first call his hyungs would say. He was always acting a bit... odd. 

And it wasn't just the six. 

"Jungkook, son?" Jungkook hears his father call out to him before he hears a knock on his door. The teen sits up as his father slowly welcomes himself in his son's room. Eyes filled with worry instantly meets Jungkook as he nears himself towards the young boy. "Something wrong, little guy? You haven't come out of your room for a while now."

"I'm fine." Jungkook answered softly before he eyes his father. "Why are you home? Shouldn't you be... at work or something? Meeting a client or anything? A meeting or—"

"I'm touched that you're worried, but it's my day off today." his father chuckled, a smile plastered on his slightly wrinkled face. "Is something bothering you?"

"... No." Jungkook replies as he lowers his head. There was an awkward wave of silence after he replied. He wouldn't lie, he finds himself in an awkward situation whenever he's left with either of his parents. Jungkook never really bonded that well anymore with his parents ever since he became a teen... or at least, when he began hanging around the six. Their father's often at work, busy with clients and meetings. Despite being a housewife, their mother would be often seen playing with his younger siblings instead. Not like he's complaining, Jungkook prefers more of his alone-time instead of mingling with his parents or siblings. Awkwardness isn't a new thing to experience whenever he's stuck with their father. "Say, dad," the teen finally speaks up, breaking the awkwardness suffocating both of them.

The words were choking him up and for some reason, Jungkook found himself unable to say the rest of the words. His lips were parted but nothing came out. He had to breathe in, calm down and finally, avert his gaze away from their father. "Well, erm, how'd you... ask mom out before?"

"Ask your— what's with the sudden question?" their father laughed.

Why? Did he just ask why? Wasn't it obvious?

Jungkook likes someone... or if that's how people describe this feeling he is drowning in. That girl he had seen before— how long has it been?— had somewhat earned this confusing part of his heart. There was just something about her. Maybe it's her joyous eyes, or perhaps it's her rose-pink lips? Maybe her silky brownish-black hair? Or her sweet voice? Something else? Why'd he even like her? 

She is a transferee, as far as Jungkook's learned. What more, a senior. She's older than him. She's in the level and age Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok are in. Definitely a "noona". 

But why, out of everything to feel for her, this comes down to him? Why'd he have to like her? There was nothing special about her to begin with. He barely even knows her, and Jungkook's definite that she barely knows him either. He simply sees her from a distant, and he doubts that she even sees a junior like him. She doesn't seem that special neither. She's just one of the normal girls in the school. She's not that different, she doesn't even stand out.

"Nothing." Jungkook lies as he falls back down on his bed, closing his eyes. "... I just wanted to ask." 

Should he write her a letter? Or maybe offer her some roses and chocolates? Court her at her residence? Maybe just simply approach her and confess his undying love—

What is he even thinking.

Jungkook was totally losing himself now. He admits, he's not the same as before anymore. He simmered down and had let confusion and whatever feelings were eating him this very moment take over his entire being. He could barely focus on anything now— not even to his friends. Late night gigs didn't seem to be that fun anymore. Everything crashed down and felt too plain for Jungkook then. Nothing was spiking up that thrill anymore. He was nothing but a helpless, plain and confused Jeon Jungkook these days.

Sometimes, she's the reason why he gets mad for no reason. He gets ticked off whenever she talks or hangs around with some other guys. At some point, she makes Jungkook feel like nothing but a loser no matter how serious he tries to be. Why did he care so much for her? How and why does she make him feel like nothing but a chil