The Late Remorse

You, My Warmth Beneath The Frost

Suho heard the soft call of his birth name loud and clear although the monotonous lady voice echoed at the same time. He could felt the same fuzzy warm sensation like earlier, but weaker when he kissed her. How long had she not called her with this name? His cheeks burned and he was even more reluctant to turn around. After all, she always followed right behind him.

 

He gave himself a few seconds before darting his eyes to his left, then right. There was no one behind and he heard the beeping sound of the closing door.

 

Immediately, Suho turned back, his eyes enlarged as the glass slid close and Jieun was just standing right behind it. Her eyes cast downward and he saw her lips moved. Before he could comprehend the lip movements, the train built up momentum and sped away.

 

Suho never expected the girl who would definitely catch up to him in ten strides, did not come to him when they were just a few arm's length away. The door which separated them made her seemed so far and unreachable. He did not even hear what she said lastly and was left with the image of how the corners of her lips lifted up, eyes still cast downward.

 

Suho touched his chest, trying to ease the dulling pain which began to spread as he thought of how sad and lonely she looked with that smile of hers. He took some time by merely standing there, then, he decided, it was no big deal. Surely, the next day, at the university, Jieun would casually come up to him and acted like how she usually does.

The Lee’s declared bankrupt.

 

The media outlets wantonly slandered on this piece of news with the announcers and some analysers being all pompous because their analysis and assumptions had came true. They openly mocked the Lee’s with such grandiose that no one battered an eyelid. Instead they joined in the pleasure of laughing another’s misfortune and those who had claimed to had never like Jieun and were bullied by her caused a rampage in the university when they found out their target of ridicule was long gone with the reason of temporary leave from the administrator of the college.

 

Did you hear, Lee Jieun is gone!

 

Of course she flees away like a dog with its tail between the legs now that she doesn’t have her rich daddy spoiling her!

 

How slothful of her that she ran away like that, we didn’t even get a chance to do anything!

 

By the time Suho reached the Arts department, the friendly demeanour Suho always wear was long gone and replaced with such surly expression that his bearing was intimidating too. He was barely holding in his annoyance particular when he saw the person he was looking for and immediately noticed the bracelet resting on his thin wrist; whether it was his or it was a replica of his previous bracelet, he had the urge to rip it off the lecturer’s hand.

 

Kim Heechul noticed the male in no time despite him busy clearing up his desk. He was leaving for Germany in just a few days, but his only student had the nerve to take a leave from the college without his consent- he was her mentor for god’s sake! Moreover, before the day she disappeared, the only reason she bothered to show up in front of him was a measly filled photo album that was to be handed to Suho if he ever came to look him, but there was not a word of her being gone or else he would have used whatever tricks he had on his sleeves to shackle the girl up.

 

Nevertheless, at the thought of the said girl, Heehul could not help but started having tears pooling in his eyes. How could he not when the moment he was in the campus, everyone had been talking about the ex-millionaire daughter, it was everything but positive remarks. She was just too stubborn and headstrong, carrying all the burden by herself, but there was not one single soul here who could understand her, let alone supporting her. Who would have thought the day she came to give him the photo album would be the last he saw of her? In no time, Kim Heechul gave in to his overwhelming wave of sadness and started wailing in the office after hastily pushing the album into Suho’s hands.

 

Suho’s mind could care less of nothing else but the very rectangle album in his hands the moment he touched its fabric texture, he did not even flinch like everyone else did when Heechul’s bawling got louder. The tips of his finger ran through the cover and to the corner as he flipped open the first page, the big childish handwriting on the left-‘Jieun and Joonmyun’ came into his sight and a lump formed in his throat. Every photo Jieun was seen smiling with all her might, but himself by her side would be either frowning or a face of unwillingness. From the two decades and more they had known each other, the photos did not even fill up half of the album.

 

Suho left abruptly upon the last photo he had seen. Taking the route he came from, he began to take note of the surroundings and plants that he had seen countless times. To reach the Laws faculty building, passing by Jieun’s major department was necessary and the window on the third floor facing East would be where Suho always see Jieun’s side profile as she stared towards the sky in a daze. Yet now, the window side was empty, just as how he felt a surge of hollowness in his chest. His grip tightened subconsciously and he looked down when the fabric texture in his hand reminded him what he was holding. He did not notice before, but with his current position under the sun, he saw the wordings written in black ink on the dark coloured cover.

 

‘A memory lasts forever. Never does it die. True friends stay together. And never say goodbye.’

 

In that spur of a moment, Suho clearly knew what Jieun had mouthed in the train. Due to awkwardness and the sudden kiss that resulted in the giddy feelings which he was unable to fathom, he resorted to his display of annoyed and impatient façade like he usually does around her. How he kept his back still at her even though she called him with his pet name which deep down he would only allow Aunt Goomi and Jieun to do so. Only now he realized what an awful memory he left for her on the day they last saw each other. In the end, he had even unknowingly missed her words of farewell.

A snicker at the left would not have caught her attention, but the words followed after made her turned her head.

 

“So, to the extent of forcing a kiss on him, huh?”

 

Who else could it be other than the snarky pretty boy Luhan? Of course, like everyone else, he heard of the crisis the Lee’s was facing. Even his father, out of the consideration of business priorities, started to consider other companies for partnership. Even if Lee Taewon was a renowned businessman, it did not cover the fact that he was too arrogant and his previous overbearing status accumulated quite a number of grudges held against him. Therefore, many had wished to see the day he fell from his high horse and this day had finally come.

 

Luhan’s smirk grew as he thought of how he never had to bend his will at this conceited girl in front of him again. It would be an interesting turnout for the snobbish but no longer rich girl to have a taste of being a normal person with no family’s power to back her up.

 

Luhan had always been one to wear his heart on his sleeves and he had no intention of hiding his thoughts regarding Jieun at the moment too. The latter only spared him a bored glance before standing by the door, ready to get off at the next stop. Nevertheless, it might due to the few times Jieun humiliated him, Luhan triumphantly took it that he hit her sore spot seeing how she did not react in rage like she had done in the past. And so, he satisfied his own revenge spree and continued in jeering her.

 

“You do know other people only bother to look at you because of the money hold in your hand, don’t you? Now with the money gone, you’re nothing!”

 

Once he let out the words he held so long on his chest, the smirk on his face widened so much that Jieun could not help but to feel sorry for his striking visual to be treated this way. Luhan missed the ‘What a pity’ muttered by Jieun under her breath because he was too busy gloating over her downfall and started shaking his crossed leg while his face glowed in smugness.

 

However, the smirk on Luhan’s face was quickly wept off the moment Jieun opened . The hint of a smile on and her low whisper made Luhan froze in his seat.

 

“Your flyer is opened.”

 

Yet, his damn pride would not allow him to show any sign meekness hence he held Jieun’s taunting gaze which seemingly to pause at a certain spot of his at one point before she gave him one last simper of hers and left the carriage, disappearing into the sea of crowd.

 

Luhan stiffly glanced to left and right, seeing how no one was looking, he fleeted his gaze downward. His flyer was intact, unlike what Jieun had tricked him to believe in.

 

A guffaw from the side indicated an onlooker had witnessed the whole exchange between Jieun and Luhan. The latter gritted his teeth and instantly the fair face of his was red from embarrassment.

 

Few days later

 

Luhan was leaning on the table and kept his face buried in his arms, not even budging when Minwoo barged into the class, calling his name.

 

“Luhan! Luhan! Did you hear? The Lee has declared bankrupt!”

 

Junho who was sitting behind Luhan chimed into the conversation as well.

 

“Serve her right! I heard she took a leave for a semester or two, guess she was afraid of being taken revenge on all the things she had done. Imagine the things that would happen if she were to show up on the campus again.”

 

“That’s why God is fair, finally she’s getting her deserved punishment.”

 

Dongho laughed, then bow down and raised up his hands as if to thank the heavens.

 

“Why? You want to do something to her too?”

 

Junho snorted at Minwoo’s question, but cackled as he remembered something.

 

“Don’t tell me your generosity is as vast as your body size, I still remember the slap she had given you very clearly.”

 

Minwoo’s face flushed at the mention of his most humiliating moment in his life and subconsciously touched his cheek, he still remembered the stinging pain as if it only happened yesterday.

 

“Can you stop bringing that topic up again?”

 

Minwoo and Junho bickered, but eventually stopped when they realized Luhan had not said a single word. Junho poked Luhan on the back and was startled when the latter jerked and hissed in pain. The trio gathered around him once they realized Luhan must have hurt his back or something.

 

“What happened?”

 

Luhan stiffly got up from his seat and waved them off before exiting the class. Walking through the campus ground, he could hear the name of Lee Jieun everywhere he went and his own reaction towards the news was the same as the others. In fact, he had known of this matter the day before. He laughed and whistled when his father broke the news to him, the next second he was howling in pain as his father whipped him with the infamous feather dust, expressing his disappointment towards his son.

 

“If it was not of the betrayal of someone he trusted, you think Lee Taewon the business prodigy would have fallen this easily? Seeing how you thoughtlessly laughed at one’s misfortune, I had realized I raised a son improperly!”

Lu Junyi’s wife was unexpectedly solemn, unlike how usually perceived the feather dust beating as a game between the father and the son or even tried to console her husband. Her calm gaze on Luhan made him realized he had indeed been superficial and flippant.

 

Luhan dug out his mobile device from his pocket and after a few pressings, a picture of Jieun and Suho in the subway was shown. The slight tilt of Jieun’s face towards Suho and the indescribable melancholy look on her face, paired with her doting gaze for the boy beside her. Luhan was unsure of what he felt at that time nor could he explain his own action of taking the picture and not deleting it afterward.

 

Being backstabbed by someone you trusted…I feel somewhat bad for her-

 

Luhan surprised himself for having such thought regarding Lee Jieun, the worst person he could ever come across to on this entire planet. He shuddered at his own compassion for her that had come out of nowhere. Quickly, he fumbled with his phone again and was determined to delete the picture. Nevertheless, Luhan decided the picture was wicked because whenever he saw Jieun’s forlorn expression, his thumb resisted pressing the ‘delete’ button. After much hesitation, Luhan grumbled and finally stuffed back his phone.

 

“Yeah as pity as she is now, she’s still an annoying brat.”

 

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PearLee
heyy me dear readers, do not hesitate to leave comments. If you have any suggestions or thoughts regarding the story, do let me know! So that i can always edit and improve my story :D New chapter is up!

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Pesyinja #1
Chapter 24: I am one of the early readers of this story and you know what? I used to think that those expressions about "my heart clenched" are just a mere expression but reading your story really always managed to make my heart hurts that much you know. I've been in asianfanfic for a long time and you are one of the writers that even tho you rarely update but i still eagerly open your story!!! Not like other writers who i already abandoned. Thank you for your masterpieces!!!
sophiakh #2
Please update more
sophiakh #3
Please update more
sophiakh #4
please update. I have been reading this story all over again and again. It would be great if you update regularly.
Maedas
#5
Chapter 23: Can't believe another update after a long time. Thank you authornim
Pesyinja #6
Chapter 23: Hehehe i love jieun bluntness especially when she called out naeun she deserved it actually such a fakeee. Thank you for updating!!! Ive been waiting for so long and had been rereading this story from the start when i want to feel sad😩😩 it works cause its so heartwreaching how lonely she was. I am lonely as well but to be strong like her is another level. This is such a masterpiece
minrin98iw
#7
Chapter 22: Omg finally another update, super good as always and cant wait for the next update!!
sophiakh #8
Chapter 22: It’s been so long. Please update more.
GsilverGuem #9
Chapter 22: Hi there author nim, i really love your story...would b great if you could actively continue completing this story...I'll be patiently waiting
minrin98iw
#10
Chapter 22: I just checked after a long time and you finally updated!! Omg, am so happyyy!!! Am looking forward to LuhanxJieun relationship wkwkk