I GOT A NEW POSTER AND BACKGROUND YAAAYY

well, what am i supposed to say :p you didn't manage to reach 100 comments, although there are 500+ of you! not that i expected you to manage it, but i'm still a bit disappointed at the amount of silent readers (and some percentage is waiting for the 'complete' sign i guess)

anyways, after over a month, i'm back with an update. would it be okay for you guys if the updates got shorter? because i might be able to update more than ;;" writing 7 pages really eats a lot of time! in a little over a month, my thesis will be done, so fighting and endure!

infinite comeback keeps me busy too ;u; isn't the album really awesome?? all the stages are so great, though i keep missing them because i'm so busy :'( BUT YAY BAD HAS TWO WINS ALREADY WOOOOHOOOOO <3 LETS GET MORE~~~!! AND THE TEASER FOR THE WOLRD TOUR OH MY GOD (/keeps fangirling in her a/n)

Sunggyu sighed and read the letter in his hands for the nth-time. He hoped that everything would make more sense at some point. That maybe he would find some kind of clue on what he should do next. Some words between the lines that would tell him Seungah would never entrust her children to Woohyun. But there was none of that. She had even written Woohyun that she wanted him to be part of Haneul’s life, even if they could not marry and raise him like a normal couple. This was a mess. How was he supposed to decide which rights Woohyun had as Haneul’s father? He may even have more rights than Sunggyu. But the older man was not yet convinced that Woohyun had told the truth.

“No, he’s lying. I know he’s lying! He must think I’m dumb and naïve like Seungah…but there surely is some hidden motive behind his words. Right, Haneul?”

He looked over to the toddler who was playing around with his toys in the playpen. He was lying on his tummy like usually. Sunggyu had read that he would slowly learn how to sit at this age. It was hard to imagine that he had once gone through the same slow developments. That he had once not even been able to lift his head properly or even sit. Nowadays everything came naturally to him and Sunggyu thought how amazing it was. And, he understood once more how important this phase was. If Haneul didn’t learn everything now, things would not come to him naturally later.

“Haneul-ah.” The boy looked up because he heard his name. At least that worked.

The baby cooed. “Ba.”

A sound that Haneul had been repeating for a while now. It was like a CD that was stuck at a certain point in the track. Apparently that was part of learning the human language. Listen and repeat. Sunggyu smiled shortly when the boy crawled towards the bars that enclosed the playpen. He stood up from the couch and crouched in front of him. “Ba!”

Haneul looked at him. “Ba!”

Sunggyu laughed. “Aren’t you going to say something else? What about ‘bo’? Bo!”

“Ba!” The boy laughed and waved his hands in an adorable manner. Was this funny to him?

“Bo!”

“Ba!”

“Ba-bo…I wonder which one of us is the idiot here.”

“Ah!” Haneul stretched his tiny hands through the bars. When he noticed that he couldn’t get close to Sunggyu his eyes started to become teary and his face was becoming red.

Those were all the signs he needed to put the letter away and lift the little boy out of the playpen. Haneul immediately calmed down again. “Did you miss your uncle? Don’t cry, Haneul-ah.”

He sat down on the floor and placed Haneul in front of him. “You have to learn how to sit. You can’t crawl for the rest of your life.”

Sunggyu pushed his legs into the form of a V. His book had said it was the best position to give him the necessary balance. Otherwise he’d just topple over. He supported Haneul with his hand and smiled down at the boy. “I’m starting to think like a real dad.”

Talking about ‘real dad’ made Sunggyu remember Haneul’s biological father. What was he going to do about him? Hopefully, Woohyun would not stand at his doorstep again tomorrow. He needed time to think about this. Maybe he could somehow check if the other man’s story was true. But how was he supposed to check it? Sunggyu didn’t know which company Woohyun had worked for in America and his English wasn’t that good anyways. It wasn’t bad, but Sunggyu doubted he could hold a conversation with a fluent native speaker. They always spoke so fast and then he felt like an idiot when his reply was slower.

“What do you think, Haneul? He’s a liar, right?”

“Ba! Ba!”

“Great to know that we’re on the same side.” Sunggyu freely interpreted the baby’s speech.

He grabbed a toy and started playing with Haneul for a while. It was a good distraction from all the problems he was facing and it kept the boy from crying. Eventually, he moved to the kitchen to make food for both of them and Haneul was tired enough to fall asleep after the meal. It seemed like his sickness was gone for good and Sunggyu was quite relieved. The fever didn’t come back that day and the diarrhea seemed to have disappeared as well, which meant that Sunggyu could grab a decent amount of sleep that night after having tired himself out throughout the day. Working on his project and playing with Haneul really had drained his energy.




Things were calm for the next days. Woohyun didn’t ring his doorbell again or knock at the door. Not that Sunggyu was sad about it. He was glad to have some time to think about everything. He didn’t have an answer yet but if Woohyun’s story was true…then he might not have the right to keep Haneul away from him. Sunggyu only knew that he wasn’t going to give the custody over to the other man. Who was to say that he would not abandon Haneul like he did with Seungah, as soon as he got a better job opportunity somewhere? The best solution for all of his problems would be that Woohyun never comes back. That would be the best possible outcome. Sunggyu would be able to stop questioning things and just go back to hating the man again for being an awful human being. If things were going to continue like this, he would be able to back to that very soon.

But his hopes were shattered soon enough. He met Woohyun again at the place he had expected last – the graveyard. Sunggyu had wanted to visit his family’s grave together with Haneul, who finally got to enjoy walks in a comfortable, new buggy. When he reached the grave, he found Woohyun on his knees in front of it, the head lowered as if he were asking for forgiveness. Sunggyu stopped in his tracks and observed him quietly. Woohyun didn’t move at all. Sometimes he lowered his head deeper before straightening his back again, but he never fully looked up. Maybe I should leave him be...I should come back later when he’s done.

(the buggy)

Sunggyu turned the buggy around as quietly as possible and pushed it down the path again. Sadly, though, he did not get very far. “Sunggyu-ssi?”

He stopped in his movement and cursed inwardly. Sunggyu took a deep breath before turning around. The other man was not kneeling anymore but standing upright. He frowned slightly when he noticed how disheveled the other man looked. Woohyun wasn’t shaved in the face, very different from when they first met face-to-face. His hair was unkempt and his eyes seemed puffy. They had dark circles beneath them too. He looked…terrible. Sunggyu was sure that, if they stood close enough, he’d be able to smell something unpleasant too.

Woohyun gave him a tentative smile when he didn’t say anything. “I didn’t know you’d be visiting here today.”

His gaze went to the buggy that was standing behind Sunggyu’s back. The older man cleared his throat to bring Woohyun’s attention back to himself. “I don’t think I need to tell you when I want to visit their graves.”

The brown-haired man lowered his head. “That’s not how I meant it. I just…I know you don’t like to see me. I- Can I just…Can I just say hello to Haneul shortly?”

If you do not want it to happen, let a lightning bolt hit him on the spot, Seungah. Nothing happened and Sunggyu sighed. “Fine, but you better not try anything funny like kidnapping him. I’ll let you know I have a…a…black belt in boxing!”

Wait…or was it karate that had belts? Woohyun chuckled and the older man felt the tip of his ears growing warm. “Just don’t do anything more than saying hello!”

“I get it, I get it.” The brown-haired man spoke, the amusement still apparent in his voice. He came closer slowly and Sunggyu took a step to the side.

Woohyun looked into the buggy and the older man thought that he saw true joy in his eyes. Haneul stared back at his father curiously and the man smiled widely. “Hello, little one. Do you remember me from last time? Probably not. I’m sorry if I scared you. I’d just like to know more about you-“

Sunggyu cut in. “Stop brainwashing him! I said you can greet him, not tell him your lies.”

Woohyun’s head snapped around to him and his glare made the older man flinch back shortly. “I’m not lying, damn it! What do I have to do for you to believe me?”

“There’s nothing you can do! Even if I do believe you, it doesn’t change the fact that things could be different if you hadn’t left for America! My sister wouldn’t have needed to go through all of this alone! You know nothing of what she went through when she found out about the baby and had no one to turn to for help! She came all the way to Seoul to see me in the middle of the night because she was that desperate.” He poked Woohyun’s chest and the man stumbled backwards. “You don’t know about how hard life has been for her because you disappeared like that. While she struggled through the hardest year of her life, you didn’t even bother contacting her once! One call! One message! Was she not worth that much for you? I know your relationship wasn’t serious but she felt like she had been cast aside without a second thought! How could you do that to her when she let you go to America to achieve your so-called dream? Maybe my sister forgave you but I sure as hell will never do that!”

He hadn’t meant to sound that mad or even say that much. Sunggyu had suddenly felt so much rage and then the words had just poured out of him. He knew it was wrong to blame Woohyun for his sister’s death. Even if he hadn’t left, the same thing might have happened. Seungah and Woohyun had both told him the relationship hadn’t been serious, so how could blame the other for breaking up because he got a job in another country? Maybe it wouldn’t have happened, had Sunggyu been in the car with them to drive. There were so many what ifs and he knew it was wrong to place all the blame on Woohyun, but younger man was here, in front of him. He was someone Sunggyu could actually blame.

His words made Woohyun wince. “I’m sorry. I truly am. Had I known about the child...I would’ve never left. Since I found out about what happened with Haneul and...Seungah, there hasn’t been a night that I haven’t thought about what I could have done to prevent this. You’re right with everything but I- I want to make it up to Haneul now. Even if