oh god wow 5 months. i went AWOL again. if you followed my twitter, you maybe know why. but even on twitter i wasn't very active. i keep getting sick, seriously. i had some tests done and seems like i have a fructose intolerance. so yeah that's part of it. i also kind of have a bf and that takes some of my free time away as well haha XD" but yeah, yesterday was my last work day for 2019 and i figured it was as good a time as any to write an update.

idk when the next one will be, seriously, but i will definitely - like always - try to make it quicker. this story is updating as slowly as it is progressing but i'm not giving up! bear with me!

also SUNGGYU IS COMING BACK IN JANUARY SCREAMS!!!! <3

So maybe Woohyun had a little problem. Okay, maybe not so little. It was possibly a big problem with the potential of becoming huge. Or maybe he was just making it into a problem although it wasn’t. That was the way his thoughts were circling as he observed Sunggyu without the older man noticing. He was sitting on the floor with Haneul and helping him do sit-ups. The plan was to encourage him to stand up again. The little work-out was fun for Haneul who liked to move and expand his horizon. Sunggyu was encouraging him with words and gestures like a coach with his favorite disciple. He was constantly smiling at the toddler; his eyes filled with warmth and love.

Woohyun definitely liked that look on him the most. Sunggyu had always frowned way too much but never around Haneul. He always lit up around his nephew and Woohyun would be lying if he said that didn’t affect him. Though possibly not as much as when the smile was turned towards himself. He wondered when it had changed. When did Sunggyu stop looking at him with hard eyes? Glaring, frowning and judging him for his very presence at his home. For his past with Seungah. It wasn’t like Woohyun wasn’t used to these kinds of looks. His parents had started to look at him that way when he came out as gay and even harder, more judging looks followed when he revealed he had a baby out of wedlock. Like he was a failure, a disappointment.

But somewhere along the way Sunggyu stopped looking at him like that. Sometimes, of course, Woohyun would still give him reason to frown or roll his eyes. It was never for long though and even then, he noticed now, there was no edge to it. There was a softness in the way Sunggyu looked at him that should’ve told him about the older man’s feelings. He was curious how and when his feelings changed. Curious just how much Sunggyu liked him. It was endearing to watch him blush and fidget under his attention. Woohyun wondered if it was only because he was still embarrassed by the events of last night. Certainly, it hadn’t been the most charming way to confess his feelings. Woohyun had almost brushed it off as drunk behavior. Maybe they should be grateful for the incident. At least this way it gave them an opportunity to talk about their feelings.

It gave Woohyun a chance to explore his feelings for the other man. Was Sunggyu his type? Certainly. Did he find him attractive? Sure. The little incident when Sunggyu was sick was definitely proof of that. Did Woohyun hate the thought of Sunggyu being with someone else? He thought about it and it left a sour feeling in his gut. Minho popped up in his mind and Woohyun glared at the air in front of him. Sunggyu’s colleague obviously had feelings for him still and Sunggyu seemed oblivious to it. Woohyun hadn’t like Minho a lot from the get-go and maybe that was the reason for it. Jealousy. He had wanted Sunggyu to look at him the way he was looking at Minho, to act around him with the same softness and show of affection. Maybe Woohyun hadn’t realized it back then but now he did.

Because now he had it. He had Sunggyu’s affection and it felt wonderful. Woohyun wanted to bask in it. It wasn’t something that Sunggyu gave away for free. It was a hard-earned and rare thing. Woohyun found that he didn’t want to lose it again.

So certainly, Nam Woohyun liked Kim Sunggyu. Did he love him? Because Sunggyu did. Sunggyu was offering something even more precious. Something that seemed almost fragile. It had ‘handle with care’ written all over it. So Woohyun did the first thing that came to his mind - tread slowly. They couldn’t rush into this halfheartedly. Maybe they would realize along the way that it wasn’t that kind of love. Maybe it was just the responsibility of caring for Haneul that made them bond. Maybe it was a short crush whose flame would die soon after it burned. Woohyun didn’t want to be the one to make Sunggyu stop smiling again. Didn’t want to lose what they had right now.

But wasn’t Sunggyu fighting the same fears? The older man had confessed them in the car. His expression when Woohyun told him he wasn’t sure of his feelings, made Woohyun almost change his mind. Sunggyu was a rational man though. Woohyun could tell he understood what the words meant. If it was meant to be something that lasted a long time, then they would have to make sure it had a stable foundation. A relationship couldn’t last long if you just rushed into it without thinking. Besides, this wasn’t just about the two of them. They had to do this for Haneul too. If things turned out ugly between them, the toddler would be pulled into mess as well.

“-hyun!“

He jumped a little and looked at Sunggyu. „Sorry, what did you say?“

The older man huffed. „I was calling your name and you didn’t react. Where were your thoughts?“

Woohyun smiled sheepishly. „I was thinking about you.“

It had the expected reaction. Sunggyu seemed flustered and, for a second, looked like he had lost track of what he wanted to say. „When I’m sitting right here? Maybe you should be thinking about cooking lunch instead.“

He laughed shortly and stood up. „I’ll get to it immediately.“

Woohyun stopped next to Sunggyu and Haneul. They looked up at him curiously. Their expressions so in tune you could see the relations. He smiled and pecked Sunggyu’s lips. „Aren’t you going to help me?“

Sunggyu flushed. He obviously hadn’t expected it. Or maybe he was just embarrassed. „I-I was about to stand up, okay?“

“Of course you were.“ Woohyun and picked up Haneul to help the process along.

The toddler protested lightly but then cooed when he saw Woohyun was bringing him into the kitchen. Kitchen meant food and Haneul loved to eat. A groan came from behind and then heavy steps followed after them. „What do you want to eat today, Haneul? You’re feeling up to some solids?“

Haneul babbled an unintelligible reply and then laughed happily. Woohyun hummed. „I hear what you say, Haneul-ah. Your uncle will get right to it.“

He carefully put the toddler into the high chair. They hadn’t tried it out a lot yet but it certainly made things easier for them. At 6 months, the use of a high chair was possible though it still depended on the chair and the toddler. Haneul was getting pretty good at sitting for a long time, so Woohyun wanted to get him used to the high chair. It was just difficult to get him to sit in it for long. Haneul obviously found it quite boring - at least until the food arrived.

“What am I going to make for him? I didn’t understand a word he was saying.“ Sunggyu muttered.

Woohyun laughed. „I’ll prepare everything for you.“

A moment later, they were both working on their lunch meals at the counter. Haneul’s high chair was between them so they could keep an eye on the toddler. His son observed what they were doing with great interest. Sunggyu was preparing mashed sweet potatoes under Woohyun’s guidance. Woohyun was cutting up meat for them in the meantime and cooking spinach. He hoped Haneul would like the sweet potatoes. The emergency plan was pureed apples or formula.

The two men exchanged secret glances and smiles over Haneul’s head. It was nice to work together like this with Haneul by their side. Woohyun felt like they were really becoming a family. It reminded him of how his parents used to cook with him in the kitchen. His father had taught him how to cook most dishes, though his mother had always been in charge of the vegetable fraction. Woohyun smiled sadly at the meat in front of him. It was sad that they would probably never come together like that again. Haneul might never get to know his other grandparents. The only ones he had left still. But maybe they would come around with time.

A hand touched his shoulder. He looked at Sunggyu. „You’re somewhere else with your thoughts again. You’re going to cut yourself. I hope it’s not me that makes you look so sad.“

Woohyun smiled shortly. „No. I was just thinking about my parents. They’re the only grandparents Haneul has left but they- It’s unfair, you know? It’s not Haneul’s fault.“

Sunggyu hesitated for a second but then touched his cheek. „It’s not your fault either. It’s their loss if they don’t want you and him in their life.“

“I know... Thank you, hyung.“ They shared another smile and then continued to work side by side.

Haneul was starting to show signs of his patience growing thin just a few minutes later. Woohyun had to take over preparing the mash while the older man took the toddler on his arm and walked around to busy him. Sunggyu disappeared into the living room with Haneul, probably to find the fussy boy a toy to play with. Woohyun was left to deal with everything in the kitchen but he didn’t mind. It kept him busy and stopped his thoughts from trailing off again.

Haneul’s meal was finished soon enough. Woohyun turned his head. „Sunggyu-hyung! Haneul can eat now!“

Sunggyu came back into the kitchen a second later with a hungry toddler in his arms. Haneul