24

CLARITY

"I have to go," Gongchan says, suddenly.

Sunwoo couldn't see him like this -- like a mess. He didn't need to know what was going on, especially not now when he seemed to be so happy about his date with Junghwan. Once again, he wasn't needed; he didn't belong. Staying there a second more would mean ruining Sunwoo's love-struck mood, and he wasn't prepared to deal with that.

The best thing he could do was leave.

Funny, how Jinyoung thought the exact same.

"Wait, don't--" Sunwoo tried to stop him, but he couldn't.

He watched Gongchan walk out of the coffee shop with glassy eyes and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn't know the full details about what his friend was going through, but he knew that whatever it was hurt him a lot more than he'd like to admit.

He sincerely hoped that whatever conflict it was that pushed Jinyoung to leave would be resolved, before Gongchan got hurt even more.

--

Gongchan can barely breathe by the time he's outside, and even though he's outside, he still feels like he's suffocating. Sunwoo's love-life shouldn't affect him so much -- nothing should affect him so much -- but it does. Everything does. He wants to feel happy for him, he really does, but no matter how many times he thinks about it, he can't.

Even though it wasn't true, it seemed like he was the only one suffering. The only one who was slowly breaking inside, piece by piece, and no one even knew.

He is surrounded by people, outside, lost in a crowd. He shouldn't be feeling this way. He shouldn't feel lonely with everyone around him. It didn't make sense. Physically, he wasn't alone, but emotionally, he was. How does one cure the loneliness felt in the heart? In the soul?

His body is made of glass, his heart made of paper. All it would take would be one more strike for him to shatter into a million particles.

As he walked down the street, he felt that everything was a dream. He wasn't able to distinguish between reality and his own thoughts. He hadn't been able to sleep. He would hardly eat. He couldn't even face himself in the mirror. Last but not least, he couldn't face Jinyoung.

He wasn't sure about his own feelings for Jinyoung anymore. He felt like punching the other in the face and screaming at the top of his lungs; simultaneously, he wished to hold him in his arms and cry against his chest. He loved Jinyoung, like a friend, like a brother. To him, Jinyoung was... everything. Then again, he could barely think, and considerin