YUJIN

This is all my fault. Wait, is it really my fault that Chen is being so weird? This is the loooonnngggessstttt time he hasn’t talked to me in class – three hours! That’s a record!

I was relieved that the recess bell finally rang. He has to talk to me now right?

“Chen! I—”

“I have to go to the bathroom.” He sprints away like he has been holding it in for three hours.

What the—is he really mad at me? Or who knows, maybe he really has to go to the bathroom.  I have to ask him that when he comes back. And my mom even packed me two sweet potatoes to give to Chen. We always share our snacks during recess time.

I was still digging into my lunchbox when a voice cuts in. “Um, Yujin?”

I knew it! Chen’s not mad at me! “Chen! You’re back!” I finally got the sweet potato package from my bag. “Here! Don’t be mad at me. I—.” Oh, it’s not him.

“Hi Yujin!” Luhan’s smile is just as bright as the sun. No wonder all the girls like him. So mysterious yet friendly. And he’s cute. “For you!” He hands me a chocolate bar.

“For me?” Wow, Luhan and I don’t talk a lot but he’s giving me chocolates? Oh my god. Chocolates on Valentine’s Day? Wait, what should I do?

Before I can say anything though, I see Chen standing by the door, a sad expression on his face. What did I do now?!?!?! I’ve never seen Chen like this, ever. If this is my fault that he’s this sad I really won’t be able to face him again.

“Chen!” I call out to him. He’s my dearest friend. If I really did something wrong I should apologize to him. He already turned around and went out of the room so I had to follow him.

But Luhan’s hand gets in my way. “You still didn’t take the chocolate.” He grins, handing the bar to me. It was then that I knew. What Chen told me to think about earlier.

I bow to Luhan. “I’m sorry Luhan! Thank you for the chocolate but I like someone else!” I grip the sweet potato I was going to give Chen in my hand.

The tinkle of Luhan’s laugh made me more confused than earlier. “Yujin! Take it!” He pushes the chocolate on the empty hand and I really don’t want to get it. “Take it, Yujin! I’ve been giving everyone chocolates.”

Huh? “Oh, haha.” Okay, this is so embarrassing. “Thanks.” I held on to the chocolate and ran outside. I know Chen likes hanging at the school playground so he must be there.

“Hey! Chen!” I flash my brightest smile so that he would forgive me. For whatever it is that I did that made him sad. He was standing in the corner when I realized that there was another person with him.

“Hi Yujin!” Krystal’s face was beaming as she skips towards me. I can already feel the blood draining from face. “I was just teasing Chen here to whom he will give his heart to.” She winks at me, and I just felt my heart drop.

I guess that’s it. Chen will really give his heart to Krystal. Because he likes her. And he’s mad at me.

I was still staring at Chen beyond Krystal’s shoulder when she exclaims, “Oooohhh! Chocolates from Luhan! Isn’t he such a doll?”

Even if her words were harmless, I can already feel my chest tightening. Don’t mention Luhan, Krystal! I’m here for Chen! Can’t you see how sad he is?

“Oh my, Yujin! What’s wrong! You just broke the chocolate in half!  And why do you have a sweet potato in your other hand?”

I can’t help but just shoot lasers at Krystal with my eyes. Fine, I’m jealous. Jealous that she will get Chen’s heart. “So are you happy now?” I sneer at her. I’m not a mean person, believe me. But I can’t help it.

Krystal’s huge eyes just about rub me the wrong way. And her perfect hair. I can’t get my hair to cooperate with me. But Chen likes it. He says it’s like cotton candy.  “Of course, I’m happy!” There goes that (annoying) smile again.

“WELL I’M NOT!” I shout at her, and I can see Chen mouth hanging at my outburst. I march up to him and linked my arm around his. “Chen might give his heart to you later but I like him! He’s my best friend! You can’t have him!”

“Yujin! What are you—” Chen is staring at me all confused. Well, time for him to know that I like him.

“Huh? What is this about Yujin?” Asks Krystal. I can already see the worry in her face.

“Uh Krystal? I’m sorry.” Chen moved his arm away from mine. What the--! Is he that mad at me that I can’t even go close to him? “Can you go back to the classroom? I have to talk to Yujin.”

Krystal nods and takes one last look at me before leaving. I know I’m acting like a spoiled kindergarten kid but I don’t care anymore.

“Yujin!” Chen rounds up to me. Never in our friendship was he ever angry at me. I’m the one who has a temper between both of us. “What was that for?”

“I just said what I wanted to say, Chen!”

His eyebrows knit and I’m starting to be amazed at this side of him I’ve never seen before. “What do you mean you like me?”

“I like you Chen!” I can feel my tears starting but I held it back. I have to convince him. “As bestfriends we should like each other!”

“Oh…” Is that a look of disappointment in his face? Ugh, can’t I do anything right? What should I say? “Yeah, I guess so.” He continues. I thought his smile will return but he just continued to stare at the broken chocolate on my hand. “So, how did it go with Luhan?”

“Uh, he gave chocolates–”

“Great!” His voice suddenly becomes all happy so now I’m confused. Is he not mad at me now? “So you’re happy now? Your crush just gave you chocolates.”

How can I be happy when you’re this sad? You matter to me more than he does. “Ummm…are you mad at me?”

Chen smiles but I can tell that he’s not in a good mood. “Why would I be mad at my bestfriend? I’m not mad at you, so you can go back to being happy with your Valentine’s gift. And you brought me a snack.” He grabs the slightly squished goguma from my hand and walks away before I can even say anything. I can still tell from his heavy steps that I wasn’t able to set things right.

I really don’t know what to do now. Whether he gives his heart to me or Krystal, I don’t care anymore. As long as I can give him mine. And he takes it.