It was nice for a while and brought a little bit of joy into my continuous darkening world. I was surprised that neither of us fell asleep on the couch in the meantime. We just watched cartoons and when those ended we watched the simplest kid’s movie I could find so that he wouldn’t be confused by something that was very plot heavy. Thankfully they make the children movies here so that a baby could probably get it so it didn’t hurt him much.
                I had almost slightly forgotten what was going to happen tonight until the others walked in on us to tell us we had to head out to the meeting point. I didn’t want to get up and I just wanted to stay in Chunji’s safe sweet arms. I knew I had to go though so I got up with Chunji holding my shoulder. We grabbed coats and walked out the door. Chunji wouldn’t let me go and I was glad of that. I moved closer to him and held him the whole way to the cab. When we got in the cab I only let go for a brief second until I grabbed onto him again.
                “Where to?” The cab driver asked in English. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to answer him. I was stuttering and nervous and scared talking in Korean. Talking in English, which I wasn’t confident in, was going to be a nightmare.
                “Umm…. c...c…c…college.” I replied praying he would know what I meant.
                “Sorry, can you be more specific?” he asked. I opened my mouth and tried to answer, but I couldn’t get any words to come out. Not in the right language anyway. After a little of trying I was way too embarrassed to do it.
                “Niel-ah. Help me…please.” I asked him giving up on the foreign words hoping he could do it. He or Changjo was the next best person and my brain instantly went to ask Niel because he was more social. I wanted to cry out of embarrassment and anger at my own in capabilities. Niel took over for me and managed to tell the driver where we wanted to go. Chunji grabbed me and pulled me into his chest. I wanted to cry so badly, but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to look weak in front of the man that scared me so much and I knew if I cried now he would be able to tell. For all I knew he could tell I was so tempted now. Chunji rubbed my back and comforted me the whole ride, my face not leaving his shirt.
                When we finally made it to the spot it got so much worse. We had about 3 minutes till 6 and we still had to walk around the somewhat off feeling building so we quickly left and started running around the large school. I was in the front we Chunji directly behind me still holding my hand. I was running the fastest as none of the others had heard his voice. They hadn’t heard how scary he was. I was terrified if we didn’t make it on time something bad would happen to C.a.p. We made it to area just as the clock turned six. He was already waiting for us there.
                “Hello, Byunghyun. I see you brought some uninvited guests with you.” He said as we all slowed. I backed up and grabbed Chunji again as the other all moved closer to me. We got into a little pack. I tried to look for C.a.p., but the man stood in a dark corner. I couldn’t see anything but the faint black outline of his body. I knew none of the others could answer and as good as Neil did in the car he didn’t understand this statement.
                “W….where i….is h….he.” I tried to say confidently. It didn’t work though, I just sounded weak. At least I could speak them now. In the car I couldn’t talk in English at all so this was at least a slight improvement. I think it was one made of fear though. Chunji gripped on to me tighter. Not out of fear, but to let me know he was there, and that I was okay.
                “He’s somewhere. Closer than you think. I don’t know if you’ve earned the right to have him back though. You haven’t shown anything to prove you des