year 9- senior troubles

a sad korean drama

Walking into year eleven areas, the A Block sign I walked past was graffiti onto the wall with skulls and I regretted coming by myself.

I walked into what seemed like a music room only there were lyrics and musical notes tagged onto the walls. Baekje  told me that they owned the photography and visual arts side I was kind of surprised and flattered for some reason that they had very good music equipment in a really good state like it’s been used regularly.

The class stopped and stared at me with curiosity

‘Like music, do yah?’

I looked to where the voice came from and saw an attractive tall blonde boy sitting on the window still. He got up and walked towards me and I realized he was really really tall.

‘Yeah I do actually. Didn’t know the school had a drum kit’ I said still looking at the equipment

‘Nah they didn’t, we stole it from the church next door’ he said like it was normal

Oh well in that case that’s a different story

‘So I hear that you’re popular with the lower grades. I saw you fight the other day, wouldn’t mind a lesson or two from you’ he emphasized with the “you” and I looked up and saw him checking me out.

‘And I hear you’re the leader of year 11’ I mumbled raising an eyebrow

‘Well I do try my best, im Pier’ he looked so sure of himself that I almost started laughing in his face.

‘Uhuh’ I looked around the place

‘So what did you want anyway?’ I kept on noticing he kept on looking at my lips

I turned around and looked him in the eye ‘I need your help’ I asked

‘And what do I get in return’ he leaned against the table which I guessed used to be a teachers table now used as a music book with notes and figures all over in black texture.

‘What do you want in return’ I asked curious

‘Well we do want this music room filled up with more equipment’ he said putting his hand up stating the obvious.

‘Even better a brand new piano’ I said

‘No friken way!’ I saw his eyes widen and he composed himself and coughed thinking I didn’t see him jump like a school girl or the fact his voice went up a notch.

‘Well ill see you there’ I said before he change his mind but before I walked out he said ‘be prepared to have a long battle’. I didn’t look back to see if he was talking to me or talking to his friends but I didn’t have time to turn around and find out.

I walked into another room that was filled with sunlight. It was bright that I thought maybe I should be wearing shades or covering my eyes.

In front painting a portrait was a Japanese looking girl with glasses and uniform with splats of paint on it and on her. She was sitting on a stool and I didn’t realize how short she was until she got off and came to stand in front of me.

‘Yes’ she asked nicely but I still had a little shiver going down my back

‘Are you Tina?’

‘Yes, you need to be quick because I have a lot of work to do’ she looked behind her and I did the same. Behind her I saw a boy and girl in an embrace. My mind went haywire and I blinked hard to see if I was really seeing what I was really seeing.

‘Maybe I should come back’ I said taking a step back

‘No I need a break’

‘I need your help.’

‘Everyone needs my help’

‘I need your year to help in a fight’

‘Against whom?’ she asked not caring

‘Killington’

‘Wow! How did you get on their bad sides?’ she started cleaning her brushes tinting the clear water black.

‘I ran over his dog’ I said sarcastically. I watched her carefully and I couldn’t get off the fact that she was examining me like she was with her paintings. I looked away but the couple was there so I looked back at her.

‘Im over fighting.’ I could tell that she wasn’t going to say yes.

‘I’ll let you paint me.’ I asked without thinking

‘?’

My heart nearly stopped but I tried to act like I didn’t care. ‘I’ll see’ I got up quickly so she doesn’t suggest any other crazy idea and left knowing that I had her on my side.

‘Get ready to battle then sweetheart. You’ll need it’ I didn’t look back to notice that she was still staring at me. ‘

Get ready to battle...

That’s the second time someone said that to me and both were leaders. I wanted some advice so I went to look for Baekje.

‘Guess what?’ I asked sadly when I found him

‘What?’

‘I got year eleven to join us.’ I smiled and he almost choked.

‘How? What did you do, you know they don’t normally do that, especially Tina’ I cringed at the thought of Tina and shook it off.

‘Well we’re fighting alright. Who are year twelve’s leaders?’ he stopped what he was doing and turned to me.

‘That’s the thing. There are three of them and they’re triplets’ he said with an ugly taste in his mouth. My stomach flipped and my mind started going backwards to see if I remember three people who looked the same.

‘Can you tell me what it means by get ready to battle’ I asked

‘Oh. Well that’s the part I kind of forgot to tell you. You have to fight them to make them know that you’re strong enough to handle this fight with the other school.’

‘But have you seen how tall that year ten guy is’ my voice rising and Baekje put his hands up to calm me down.

‘That’s why im your front man soldier, im going to fight with you’

‘No you can’t. If I beat you then obviously they will beat you’ I said honestly

‘Oh yeah, forgot about that.’ He said thinking to himself

I quickly ducked as I entered the gymnasium as I saw a football quickly flown over my head and hit the closing door. I picked it up as it stopped at my feet and looked up to see a big guy without a shirt lift up his hand signalling me to kick it back.

 ‘So who are the leaders?’ I whispered to Baekje

He tilted his head to the shirtless guy ‘That’s john, that’s Jessica ‘ pointing to a girl who was playing volley ball with a bunch of other girls ‘And finally James’ he said pointing to another boy who was sitting on the benches reading a huge green book.

I was interested in the one reading because he seemed out of his element but in it at the same time.

I recognized the guy and girl from before when they ordered shirts from me. The shirtless guy came over with a smile chucking a football around

‘Wassup’ John said trying to remember where he seen from. I saw the Jessica from the corner of my eye stop playing when she saw me and James came up behind him and looked at me with interest.

‘You suit our uniform’ the girl said with a look of sudden hatred. I returned the look back at her. She has gone bigger from last time I seen her but John was ten times bigger. I wanted to ask Baekje how someone can get that big.

‘I need your help’ I asked John ignoring the others

‘We heard about you. You’re popular around this grade’ Jessica said with jealousy

‘And your popular with mine’ I said with the sarcasm. Jessica looked like she wanted to kick my brains out. ‘You look like what people say you look like’

‘And you’re just a little who needs a beating’ Jessica interrupted me

‘Big and ugly’ I continued until Baekje nudged me

Alright girls, Relax’ John calmed us down and shot his sister a look that made her keep shut.

‘Killington wants to fight us and I need your permission to use your grade to help us’ I started

‘Why?’ James crossed his arms and looked at me seriously

‘I hate to lose’ I admitted

‘I like that’ He laughed

‘I like that too’ I don’t know why but I was starting to be a smart for some reason.

‘That’s cute. You think you’re funny’ John laughed again

‘I know im funny’ I shrugged my shoulders and I felt Baekje go tense besides me and I knew I was walking on egg shells right now

He started laughing and looking around at his siblings they decided that if there was going to be a punch on with the two most notorious schools they want to take part of it.

We all felt the need to prove ourselves and his grade were all pumped for the big fight that was to soon take place.

 ‘See you at battle’ Jessica said with a wicked smile. I didn’t want to turn my back on her so I backed away without taking my eyes off her and quickly walked out when Baekje grabbed me and pulled me out.

‘You were just asking to get jumped back there’ Baekje started telling me off.

‘Yeah I know I will start crying if they stepped any closer’ I admitted.

I took the longest way to the station and waited for my train. I was looking across the platform when I thought I saw Tablo. I almost called out his name when he turned around and it was someone else and I sat back down. I think im going crazy. First im thinking about him in weird situation next im seeing him in every guy I see.

I felt so wrong for doing this to him, why was I angry for? It’s not like I was his girlfriend now or anything else. I sorted this out badly and now I regret it but there’s no turning back now....

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---BaboMich #1
Hi! I'm here to review your story c:<br />
<br />
First of all, the plot is average, but nonetheless, unique in a way. Secondly, your punctuations. Always remember to put an apostrophe when combining words. So instead of "theyre", it's "they're." Always remember to capitalize the first letter of the word if you're starting a new sentence. Also remember to capitalize "I". It's not "i". Not only that, but too many commas. Waaay too many commas. Try slipping in some periods here and there.<br />
<br />
For example, in your foreword;<br />
<br />
" Couldn't remember the day i was truthfully happy, perhaps i was by no means ever happy, so that would indicate all those moments whenever i laughed among friends and family or achieved something really huge in my livelihood. "<br />
<br />
This sentence is ridiculously long. To cut it down, like I said, we need to slip in periods in here. So I'd change it to something like this;<br />
<br />
" Couldn't remember the day I was truthfully happy. Perhaps I was by no means ever happy. Maybe that would indicate all those moments whenever I laughed among friends and family, or achieved something really huge in my livelihood. "<br />
<br />
That looks, and sounds way better. I removed nearly all of your commas and replaced them with periods. I also added in one comma after 'family'. Just one. There's not need to go overboard with the commas.<br />
<br />
Also, when your character is talking to someone, always remember to add periods (or commas, depending on what the character is saying), to end the sentence. <br />
<br />
All in all,<br />
<br />
Punctuation: 6/10.<br />
Grammar: 7.5/10.<br />
Spelling: 8.5/10.<br />
<br />
Good luck with your story c:<br />
I hope my review will help you along the way.
Bungsky
#2
Big fight(s) is on the way...
bommielove
#3
I feel bad about bom and tablo T___T
laiitee
#4
yea, sorry about top, i got confused with this story and my other one. Maybe i should change it to TOP
Bungsky
#5
I prefer Bom with Baekjae than Tablo. Hmm, if I'm not mistaken, I saw "top" too in the tags, but now it dissapeared.
Bungsky
#6
Awww, if she's with Tablo, how's with Baekjae? And I wonder why this fic has a few subscribers, this is pretty good. Update soon :D
melon-bun
#7
kekeke you almost made me ship Bom with Baekje<br />
but woah! nice moment with Tablo! Hmm But I feel a bit bad for Baekje :( oh well!
bommielove
#8
whaat tablo and bom fighting??? omooo T___T
melon-bun
#9
Ah! I really didn't expect it to be Tablo! Big surprise! but omo! the preview! Is Tablo going to turn out to be a jerk?! dun dun duuuuun!
Bungsky
#10
Ohhh, romanceee. I've guessed it that it was Tablo from the start :D