a sad korean drama

Description

If you look at someone and theyre smiling, you would think theyre really happy even though you dont know them but are they happy. this story is a sad story about a girls life through primary school to high school. some parts are true but it depends on you to figure which parts are true, which couldnt be true. this story tells us how much you experience in high school then your whole life. A death, A kiss, Drugs and alchol. Enjoy!

Foreword

Couldn't remember the day i was truthfully happy, perhaps i was by no means ever happy, so that would indicate all those moments whenever i laughed among friends and family or achieved something really huge in my livelihood.

Was i truthfully happy? Was i?

Or did i exist in my own fantasy globe?

Theres this motto this old crinkly old lady once told me who lived under the bridge near my old school was that it meant that you start living your life in a trance and it goes to a peak where you don't know what is real and what is not, who to trust and who not to trust but in the end it all comes out in crap.

My name is Park Bom, I'm seventeen years old and this is my story.

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Comments

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---BaboMich #1
Hi! I'm here to review your story c:<br />
<br />
First of all, the plot is average, but nonetheless, unique in a way. Secondly, your punctuations. Always remember to put an apostrophe when combining words. So instead of "theyre", it's "they're." Always remember to capitalize the first letter of the word if you're starting a new sentence. Also remember to capitalize "I". It's not "i". Not only that, but too many commas. Waaay too many commas. Try slipping in some periods here and there.<br />
<br />
For example, in your foreword;<br />
<br />
" Couldn't remember the day i was truthfully happy, perhaps i was by no means ever happy, so that would indicate all those moments whenever i laughed among friends and family or achieved something really huge in my livelihood. "<br />
<br />
This sentence is ridiculously long. To cut it down, like I said, we need to slip in periods in here. So I'd change it to something like this;<br />
<br />
" Couldn't remember the day I was truthfully happy. Perhaps I was by no means ever happy. Maybe that would indicate all those moments whenever I laughed among friends and family, or achieved something really huge in my livelihood. "<br />
<br />
That looks, and sounds way better. I removed nearly all of your commas and replaced them with periods. I also added in one comma after 'family'. Just one. There's not need to go overboard with the commas.<br />
<br />
Also, when your character is talking to someone, always remember to add periods (or commas, depending on what the character is saying), to end the sentence. <br />
<br />
All in all,<br />
<br />
Punctuation: 6/10.<br />
Grammar: 7.5/10.<br />
Spelling: 8.5/10.<br />
<br />
Good luck with your story c:<br />
I hope my review will help you along the way.
Bungsky #2
Big fight(s) is on the way...
bommielove #3
I feel bad about bom and tablo T___T
laiitee #4
yea, sorry about top, i got confused with this story and my other one. Maybe i should change it to TOP
Bungsky #5
I prefer Bom with Baekjae than Tablo. Hmm, if I'm not mistaken, I saw "top" too in the tags, but now it dissapeared.
Bungsky #6
Awww, if she's with Tablo, how's with Baekjae? And I wonder why this fic has a few subscribers, this is pretty good. Update soon :D
melon-bun #7
kekeke you almost made me ship Bom with Baekje<br />
but woah! nice moment with Tablo! Hmm But I feel a bit bad for Baekje :( oh well!
bommielove #8
whaat tablo and bom fighting??? omooo T___T
melon-bun #9
Ah! I really didn't expect it to be Tablo! Big surprise! but omo! the preview! Is Tablo going to turn out to be a jerk?! dun dun duuuuun!
Bungsky #10
Ohhh, romanceee. I've guessed it that it was Tablo from the start :D
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