year 9- clash of high schools

a sad korean drama

Killington high school, according to my school they are the rich high school down the block that separates our area from theirs, I found out about them one day when I heard a brick been chucked through a window. Then my name been called out from outside.

I took my time taking the stairs as my school followed closely behind. Baekje went straight to my left side to keep an eye out for me and Silla on my right.

I noticed straight away the black suits and as they parted I stopped breathing for a second. There at the front was the boy I never thought I’ll ever see in this situation.

‘A bit lost aren’t you’ Baekje asked with an angry voice

‘Nope, Came to the right place.’ he kept looking my way chucking his cigarette away

I was getting pissed off but I didn’t show it. I was too confused by what was happening around me. I never got involved with another school before.

 ‘I need to talk to your leader’ he said in a lazy tone that I loved

Baekje glanced at me uneasily ready to protect me so I told him to stay put with my eyes as I walked forward from the group. Surprise showed on the boy’s face as I walked up to him. I had to look up at him and hated it

‘You wanted to talk to the leader. You’re looking at her’ I said in a straight tone.

Tablo looked shocked and was going to walk up to him but he suddenly remembered what was going on and stopped himself

‘But you’re a girl’ Tablo laughed dryly before giving me a long look saying WTF!!

I punched him and straight away the girls behind him were charging at me but he signaled at them to stop.

‘But you don’t punch like a girl. Why do I keep forgetting that. ’ he smiled and rubbed his jaw

‘Please say what you want to say because I don’t have time for this. ’ I said losing patience. I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh but he was acting like we were strangers

Why are you acting like this, I don’t want to fight you Tablo

 ‘Someone put one of my boys in hospital. We have word it was someone from your grade. ’ He tilted his head to the side and looked behind me. I heard a little bit of someone clearing their throat and a couple of fake coughs

‘Sorry. Don’t know what you’re talking about’ I looked at him then looked away

‘You see. We didn’t come here for anything, just the person who did this’ Tablo talked like he didn’t know me and I hated that.

‘And like I said, I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ I repeated firmly

‘Well if you’re going to be like that, I’m sorry to say that now our school is officially now enemies’ He muttered in a low voice. His eyes were blazing and he suddenly didn’t look like he wanted to talk about this with me. Better watch your backs’’ he called out behind me

‘If you’re finished, please leave now.’ I stood there like a statue with my hands folded in front of me and was trying hard not to cry.

 

We stood there staring at each other for a few seconds when he turned back around and left the school grounds. I turned around and gathered up my school

‘Who knows something about this’ I shouted over the noise

‘All we know is that someone wore our uniforms.’ a boy shouted back

‘How, we all know the school supplies our uniforms’ I said accusingly. I was smart and they knew it.

The crowd went quiet and Baekje came and walked me away.

‘Do you have something to tell me?’ he asked

‘Do I have something to tell you?’ I asked back

‘Come on, stop with the bull I know you two know each other somehow.’ for a second there I thought Baekje looked jealous.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ I said in denial

‘So what just happened just then was nothing. You’re telling me the truth to my face that you don’t know who the guy is.’ Baekje was getting all up in my face and I wanted to slap him out.

‘Ok ok.’ I raised my hands up in defeat. ‘I had a thing with him but I swear to you I didn’t know who he was. I swear.’ I looked Baekje in the eyes and swore to him the truth.

‘Do you know the guys here at this school will be in a rage?’ he was calmed down now

‘Why it’s not like I’m going out with them’ I scoffed

‘Yeah but that’s just it. You’re the hottest thing in this school’ he was getting red now

‘What do you mean?’ I tried to get close to him just to see what he thought of me

‘The boys at this school think you’re hot. If they find out someone got you first and that boy is the leader of a particular hated school then there is going to be mayhem.’ He looked away

‘So all the guys in this school think I’m hot and very out of reach’ I wanted to laugh out

‘Exactly!’ he looked like he was going to jump up with joy. Note the sarcasm

‘Do you?’ I asked him for whatever reason of curiosity

‘Yah Please I think I’m too good for you’ he laughed

‘Yeah  Me too’ I laughed back but deep down I was cut it hurt to hear that from friends saying that to about me then a boy actually saying it to my face.

‘But I think you’re hot. But I don’t like you that way’ he said that quickly and then looked away

‘Oh ok. I think your.’ I was surveying him and he looked at me and turned around in a circling motion for me

‘Nah scratch that, I’m hotter then you’ I joked

‘Touché’ he winced

‘What so we all cool now’ I laughed but I was still trying to hold back my tears.

‘Yeah, we’re cool’ he hanged his arms over me noticing my teary eyes and walked away from the people who were still staring at me.

Baekje didn’t notice when I looked back at the school gates and Tablo was standing outside his car watching us closely before getting in sped off.

Why are you here, this isn’t supposed to happen, Is this who you really are? Whatever happens now just remember I love you. Forgive me Park.

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---BaboMich #1
Hi! I'm here to review your story c:<br />
<br />
First of all, the plot is average, but nonetheless, unique in a way. Secondly, your punctuations. Always remember to put an apostrophe when combining words. So instead of "theyre", it's "they're." Always remember to capitalize the first letter of the word if you're starting a new sentence. Also remember to capitalize "I". It's not "i". Not only that, but too many commas. Waaay too many commas. Try slipping in some periods here and there.<br />
<br />
For example, in your foreword;<br />
<br />
" Couldn't remember the day i was truthfully happy, perhaps i was by no means ever happy, so that would indicate all those moments whenever i laughed among friends and family or achieved something really huge in my livelihood. "<br />
<br />
This sentence is ridiculously long. To cut it down, like I said, we need to slip in periods in here. So I'd change it to something like this;<br />
<br />
" Couldn't remember the day I was truthfully happy. Perhaps I was by no means ever happy. Maybe that would indicate all those moments whenever I laughed among friends and family, or achieved something really huge in my livelihood. "<br />
<br />
That looks, and sounds way better. I removed nearly all of your commas and replaced them with periods. I also added in one comma after 'family'. Just one. There's not need to go overboard with the commas.<br />
<br />
Also, when your character is talking to someone, always remember to add periods (or commas, depending on what the character is saying), to end the sentence. <br />
<br />
All in all,<br />
<br />
Punctuation: 6/10.<br />
Grammar: 7.5/10.<br />
Spelling: 8.5/10.<br />
<br />
Good luck with your story c:<br />
I hope my review will help you along the way.
Bungsky
#2
Big fight(s) is on the way...
bommielove
#3
I feel bad about bom and tablo T___T
laiitee
#4
yea, sorry about top, i got confused with this story and my other one. Maybe i should change it to TOP
Bungsky
#5
I prefer Bom with Baekjae than Tablo. Hmm, if I'm not mistaken, I saw "top" too in the tags, but now it dissapeared.
Bungsky
#6
Awww, if she's with Tablo, how's with Baekjae? And I wonder why this fic has a few subscribers, this is pretty good. Update soon :D
melon-bun
#7
kekeke you almost made me ship Bom with Baekje<br />
but woah! nice moment with Tablo! Hmm But I feel a bit bad for Baekje :( oh well!
bommielove
#8
whaat tablo and bom fighting??? omooo T___T
melon-bun
#9
Ah! I really didn't expect it to be Tablo! Big surprise! but omo! the preview! Is Tablo going to turn out to be a jerk?! dun dun duuuuun!
Bungsky
#10
Ohhh, romanceee. I've guessed it that it was Tablo from the start :D