The tears in my eyes poured. "I-I'm sorry for my s-selfishness," I sobbed. I let go of him and started to walk to my room. Gosh I really cried! It's embarrassing! Well this is better than holding it all in. It's really difficult when all of my emotions are locked up because one day it'll overflow and overflowing feelings isn't good.

---

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Y/n-chan, you're really cute when you're jealous," Killua whispered to my ear.

WHAT?! When did he got so close? I looked at him. He's smiling.

Whaaaa — ? Why-Why is he smiling? He's not feeling scared or something? What exactly is this person feeling right now? I can't tell at all!

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to his body. He's hugging me from the back. And my heartbeat is all jagged again! If this continue, I think I'm going to faint. And I was thinking of what happened this morning! Oh. My. God. That incident was really embarrassing. He saw me topless! And he even did things to my . . . that! THAT! I can't say it! I'm too embarrassed!

He removed my hair that was covering my neck and gently placed it back. I felt his lips touch my neck — the one where he got rid of my hair. I felt a tingling sensation all over my body. I think I'm really going to faint this time.

"Ki-Killua —"

"Let me stay like this for a while," I felt his hot breath against my skin. He planted small kisses on my neck, then he bit my earlobe. "You're adorable, Y/n. I like it," he resumed his small kisses on my neck. It gave me goosebumps.

What is he saying? I don't understand anything of it! I'm really confused here. My head can't comprehend anything especially when he's doing this to me right now. And he didn't even respond to what I said! I just confessed, you stupid Killua!

"I've been waiting for you to say that, Y/n-chan," he kissed my cheek. "I like you too," he whispered. He's so close to my face. "I like you from the start."

My face turned red. Did I heard him correct? Or am I just hearing things? Or maybe I'm dreaming? He said he like me! HE LIKES ME TOO! And also he said from the start! Does that mean like from the very start?

"You don't have to be flustered," he chuckled. I felt him my neck. It made me shiver. I really like him being close to me. I grasped his hand.

Killua . . he likes me . . . And now that the feeling is mutual, I feel really happy. We can be together forever now. I don't have any worries. It made my heart flutter. I can die right now. Seriously.

"You sounded like a jealous girlfriend, Y/n-chan. Don't tell me . . . you like Killua-kun?"

From nowhere, I suddenly heard Akemi's words. Yes I like Killua. Wait, I don't like him, no. I love him. I really do.

"Everyone says that she's really pretty and nice. So I don't think you can be against with someone like that, right, Y/n? You're his big sister after all, so I understand your concerns."

Aki said that to me yesterday. But it felt like from a really long time. I can hear it in echo now. And what she said bothered me.

Killua is dating Akemi. He already had a girlfriend. And also, I'm Killua's big sister. And he's my younger brother. Brother. I really hate that word.

Why didn't I think of these before I voiced out my feelings? I'm really stupid.

"L-Let's stop here, Killua. I think this is a-all wrong. This is a mistake, we're . . we can't . . right? It's . . We're siblings . . And you have a girlfriend . ." Why can't I express myself like I naturally do? I can't express it and it's because I really don't want to say that. I don't want him to stop. I want him to continue. I want his body close to me even if my heartbeat is always unstable. I want him to always hug me. I want to feel his body heat. I want to be able to stay close to him no matter what. But we can't. Him being my brother should come first before all this.

He looked at me. "But you said you like me."

I glanced at him. There's no expression in his face. And he's so close! His lips are so close to mine. "Ye-Yes, I did say that but . . if father knew about this. This, all of this is wrong. W-We can't . . And also Akemi. ."

What if Killua and I weren't siblings? I wonder what kind of relationship would we have today? Maybe things could have been better when things aren't like this. Maybe it would've been better if I didn't meet him.

But Killua, meeting and knowing him, made me really happy and sad at the same time. He made me feel different emotions and made me feel a lot weird around him. It's a real blessing to meet him, even though he existed to be my brother — if there could be a chance that he's not my brother I would do anything to get that chance. I really love him. I love him for making me feel like this.

I heard him quietly say, "Jeez," and let go of my waist. But he held my hand. He turned me around to face me to him. "I was waiting for Dad to tell you this but . . I guess it can't be helped."

That got me confused. "What? T-Tell me what?"

What could it be? What is it that he's even waiting for Dad to tell me? Is it a really big major secret? But what kind of secret though? Could it be that we're moving? Or are we going to separate? Or maybe some family matters? I really don't know.

He looked straight to my eyes. "We're not siblings," he said straightforwardly. "Your biological parents died when you were two years old, and Mom was a close friend of your parents so she took you in to live with us. Two years after that, Mom and Dad divorced, because Dad has to keep his job and he's always being transferred from one place to another. Mom took you with her."

My mind didn't grasp what he just said. We're not siblings? Is that what he said? And my real parents are already dead?

"Huh? W-What are you saying, Killua?" I think I might've misheard him. But his words are already echoing in my head. We're not siblings . . .

"I said —"

I made a silent 'hic' sound. "S-So Mom and I . . . Mom and I a-are . . are s-strangers . . ?"

My heart was scattered into pieces. All this time, the mother, who's been so close to me, who's been my bestfriend, who's been my life for my whole existence, was a stranger?

My tears fell. I didn't notice it until Killua wiped it with his thumb.

"What's the commotion here?" It was Daichi. I didn't notice him arrive. He was standing at the top of the stairs. "Y/n-chan! Look!" He said cheerfully. He was holding a big paper bag in his hand. He showed it to us. "I bought you your favori —" He suddenly stopped when he saw me crying.

Another stranger came. Right now, these people around me, I don't know any of them.

I unclasped Killua's hold in my hand and run. I have the feeling of wanting to escape, so I run as fast as my feet could.

"Y/n!" Killua called.

But I didn't look back. I want to leave that house. I don't even belong there, right? I'm not family. All of them, they're strangers to me. And I'm a stranger to them. We all don't know each other. And I'm the outsider.

"I'm . . I-I don't belong there," I whispered to myself as I run. My chest is feeling tight. I don't where to go even though I'm running. I just want to get out of there. I don't want Killua to see me like this. And how did he know about that? And in the first place, why didn't he tell me? Why didn't everyone — father and Daichi — tell me about this? Are they trying to trick me or something? I'm just feeling worse, now that I've realized this.

While I was busy thinking while running, I tripped over a stone and fell to the ground. It made a loud thud.

Ugh. So frustrating. Now I'm not just in pain mentally, but also physically. I have scratches in my hands and knees.

But I don't care. I feel so pathetic, I feel like I've been an annoyance to them. To everyone.

I sat there, on the pavement, weeping quietly. Why didn't anyone tell me about this? Did they think that it's funny deceiving an ignorant like me? Did they really think that?

"Y/n. . . Y/n."

Now I can even hear Killua's voice. And he's calling my name. This is really stupid.

"Y/n."

An arm suddenly wrapped around my neck.

"Hm?" I turned to look back. It's Killua.

"You gave me a fright, you idiot! Don't run away like that again. Okay?" He kissed me on the cheek and held me close to his body.

My sobs turned to a loud cry. He's acting like he's concern about me. Why would he play with my feelings like this? This brat, he made me fall in love with him. And now he's concern about me. But wasn't I a nuisance?

He held me tighter. "What the heck, Y/n? Stop acting like a kid!" It's obvious in his voice that he's panicking. He doesn't know what to do. His free hand is wiping my tears. It's really a pleasant gesture.

"Let's just go home and fix this. Daichi will be worried," he sighed. He held me by my waist.

"B-But I don't want to. We-We're not siblings. . . right?" I said in the in the middle of the cry. Somehow, I feel a little relax. Maybe it's because Killua is close to me.

"Yes. But, Y/n-chan is really important. Daichi and Dad will be worried. And you're family, that's why we wanted Y/n to always be close to us."

Family? I'm a part of the family?

But that makes it difficult for me because in the first place, I was never part of the family. I was just an outsider. I don't think I belong to that family that he's saying.

"Y/N-CHAN!" Someone shouted my name. It was Daichi, appearing from nowhere. "Are you okay? Look at your scratches! You ran off! Jeez you made me worried," he was panting when he said that. Because he ran after me. After us.

I looked at him. He said I made him worried. "Da-Daichi-niisan, I wonder if . . . I-I wonder if I can still stay in that house . ." A lot of tears poured from my eyes, like all of the emotions came out through those tears. It's like all of me was expressed to that. It's just that because I can't take it in anymore in me.

He smiled. He walked forwards us and when he's in front of me, he held my face. I suddenly felt Killua's body behind me went rigid.

Daichi smiled. "Of course. That house is Y/n-chan's home," Daichi's smile is so warm, so welcoming.

"Let's go home," Killua said, and he's smiling like Daichi too. The warm smile these two is showing me, is so inviting, and it's making me feel deep emotions within. Somehow, it made me feel like I belong.

"Ye-Yes," I answered quietly.

It was their warm smile that made me want to be with them. To be a part of the family. So I got to work hard for that.

Killua help me stand. He didn't let go of my hand. Daichi already started walking ahead of us.

The inside of me, of all me is screaming for Killua's name. It wanted to be with Killua.

"Y/n-chan," he grabbed my waist while we're walking. "We're not siblings," he winked, smirking.

OH YEAH! That's right! Why didn't I realize that sooner? I mean, we're not siblings! That means, our love is not forbidden anymore right? That also means that I can always be with him. Forever. I don't have to be in pain anymore.

"Y/n-chan wants family right? But you're already part of the family," he stopped walking and he kissed me in the forehead. "If Y/n-chan wants family, I will marry you, and we will start our own family. I will make all the sadness and pain go away."

He wants us to start our own . . family? So what is the reason behind that? He just wanted to make all the pain and sadness go away, is that it?

"B-But Killua-kun already has a girlfriend. And if you want to start a family with me just to make my pain go away, I think it would be best if Killua-kun just stick with her," actually, when I said those, I feel like there's a big lump in my chest. I really don't want to say those, especially when he said that he wants us to be family. It makes me feel real special. I was so happy when he said that. But I remembered Akemi. They're dating right?

"What? What are you talking about? Girlfriend?"

Oh. Is he going to deny it? "Yes. Akemi and Killua are dating, right?"

His eyes widen a bit. "What? Her? NO! Of course not."

What? Was that true? Well, he looked surprise when I said that they're dating. Now my heart is beating faster. If this is true then we can, right? We can be together.

"But you two are always together . ."

He looked at me. "She's too persistent and annoying, but I can't shake her off. She just really likes me."

Oh. So that's it. But I really thought they were dating. I got too worked up on that one. Maybe next time before I jump to conclusions, I should ask him first. If that's the case, is our case of being together possible now?

He smiled smugly. "You're too jealous of Akemi when we were not even dating. You really like me that much, huh?"

My face went red. "WHAT?! You conceited brat, I'm not jealous!" I sighed. If I refuse to tell the truth verbally, my heart won't be satisfied. A little truth at times like this won't be bad, right? "Well maybe just a little bit."

He smirked again. He kissed me and held me tight. His mouth is hot. I really like it.

"I won't ever let you go," he whispered. "I love you."

I blushed again. My heart suddenly raced and pounded loudly. I want to say 'I love you too' to him, I really do. But I can't open my mouth to say something. He's too close to my face!

He didn't waited for my reply. He started walking again. He didn't let go of my hand.

Is he mad? Maybe I should've have said my true feelings. But I already confessed. Should that be enough?

When we arrived in front of the house, he stopped. This house, it's my home. Our home. The people I learned to love lives here with me, who filled my longing for family. I didn't realize that I was lonely being alone, that's why when they came, they filled my heart with warmness. Especially Killua.

"Y/n," he called me. "Don't forget . . . my proposition."

He took my hand and kissed the back of it. I feel my face burn again.

Of course. I would never forget about it. I want to start a new family with them, with him. With his welcoming arms, I want to know more about him. Even if I say that I like him, or love him, each day that I would be spending with him, I know that I will this feeling will deepen and I will fell into the bottomless haze of love with Killua. I can't wait for the time to come for us to be family.

"I love you, Killua."

~ I'm In Love With My Brother!: THE END ~