Flashback:

It's really stupid of him to cook when he has no skills whatsoever in it.

But somehow, my heart was melted by that. It feels so warm, so light. I don't know why, but this feeling, I only feel this with Killua. I was so touched I feel like crying.

---

I arrived at the park. As I searched for Killua, my heart was pounding. Why am I feeling shy, all of a sudden? It's just apologizing!

Aha! There he is, by the swing. I walked towards him. As I got closer, I saw his head was bent down. It's as if he's looking at the ground. The atmosphere around him feels sad. Well I can feel it. He hasn't noticed me yet, since I came from the exit of the park so his back was on me.

"K-Killua-kun . ." I wasn't able to hold it anymore. I hugged him from the back. "Killua-kun, I-I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you were and . . ."

He was surprised to see me there, but he smiled. He's been smiling a lot these days. He turned his head to see my face. "It's okay, Neechan," He held my hands that are wrapped around his body. We were in that position for a long time. And so my heartbeat is more unstable than before. Being this close to Killua . . .

I let go of him and walked to face him. When I was in front of him, I bent down — since he's sitting on the swing — and lifted his chin by my thumb and index to make him look straight to my eyes.

Actually, I don't know why I'm doing this. This is freaking me out. It's like inside me, there's this voice that's saying that I should stop. But when I remember the trouble he'd gone just to make me dinner, my heart is always melting. I'm so touched. I feel like hugging him more. But that'd be awkward.

"You don't have to bother cooking. I'm here, you know. I'm your Oneesan. I should be the one taking care of you," I said, smiling. I looked at his left hand and took it, gently touching the finger covered with band aid. "This is my fault. I'm sorry," I raised it and brought it to my mouth. And I kissed it.

EHHH?! WHAT THE HECK DID I JUST DO? My face feels hot. This is embarrassing! Killua-kun, I'm so sorry! I didn't do that, my body did! It moved on its own! Oh, stupid me! What the hell did I do that for?

When I looked at Killua, he was blushing too. WAAAAHH! It was so cute! His cheeks are all red! First time I've seen it! I could die right now. But wait, does that mean that he's embarrassed too?

"W-Well, it was because you were sick this afternoon. The nurse from school brought you home," he looked at me. His face is still red. "So that's why I thought I should make something for you to make you feel better. But it turned out to be awful." He looked away.

My whole body seems to stop. So the teacher brought me home, that's why I woke up in my house and not in the infirmary. But I thought the teacher isn't around today?

And Killua-kun said wanted to cook for me, but of course he can't cook that's why it turned out like that. And remembering that he went all that trouble for me, I feel like . . . Killua-kun, I don't like these feelings that I have for you.

But why is he saying this now? Now I'm feeling so touched by this. My heart is beating so fast and loud — I bet he can even hear it. I wanted to thank him. But I can't say it. I wanted to express my feelings for him — not that kind of feelings! I wanted to express my gratitude, that's the feeling that I want to express! I mean, when it comes to that 'feelings', I'm still confused. I don't know why I'm acting this way around Killua. It's very troublesome.

He didn't let go of hand until we got home — and I don't want to let go of his hand, either. So basically, we were holding each other's hand while walking home. The voice inside me is saying this is wrong, that I shouldn't be doing this. But there's this another voice saying do what makes you happy. And what's making me happy is holding on to Killua's hand. But this is wrong.

Somehow this situation, this is really something. The first person I've held hands with while walking home is Killua. And he's my brother!

But right now, I don't want to think of any of it. I just want to feel this, and I will treasure it. I'll treasure this moment forever.

Suddenly, from nowhere, a thought came to me. What if this feeling is 'love'?

Love?

Strange. I never knew that love can make a person feel so happy and contented. But I'm not in love. I shouldn't. I can't. I wouldn't. He's my family. I simply can't. Family . . .

When we got home, we playfully cleaned the mess on the kitchen. This is new. All the time, Killua-kun and I would always be arguing, but this time, it was different. We were actually getting along with each other. It's new. It made me happy.

When I was cleaning after the broken saucer, I noticed the knife on the wall. It caught my interest on how it got there, so I asked Killua.

He looked at me and smiled an apologetic smile. "That knife cut my finger when I was slicing the vegetables. So I got angry and I threw it. Sorry," he said smiling, scratching the back of his head.

Wow, the wall even has fissures. Amazing. Is Killua-kun human? I asked myself as I took the knife off from the wall. Actually I had a little difficulty pulling out the knife.

I cooked curry for us that night, since the ingredients are already prepared. He said the first thing that he tried cooking was stew, but the soup dried — I have no idea how it dried, and I don't want to imagine how it'd gone like that — so he looked for a curry recipe and prepared the ingredients but he burned the whole thing. That's what he said.

That night, I happily went to bed. But I couldn't sleep. The whole time, I was thinking about Killua. All of Killua is in my head! And it's driving me crazy!

I was thinking of how perfect his face is, I mean all of him. And how he's that nice when he wanted to be. But to think of it, why didn't he treat me nice, when all the time he was kind? I hate him for that. But at the same time, I'm happy that I get to know both sides him. The rude and the nice part of Killua-kun, knowing that, makes me really glad.

I didn't notice it, but it's already two o'clock in the morning. Jeez! And I still have to get early tomorrow for school! I need to sleep now.

Before I could even close my eyes, the bedroom door opened. It was Killua. I shut my eyes as he closed the door behind him.

What is he doing? What does he need? Is there something in my room that he wants?

I pretended to be asleep. Why am I doing this? I can just ask him why he's sneaking around this late at night. It's my room, after all.

But I don't why I can't do it. I can't ask him. I can't even open eyes.

I can hear his footsteps coming closer by each pace, and then I felt him sit on the side of my bed.

What the heck is this kid planning to do?

I felt a cold hand cupped my face, caressing it. Jesus Christ! That surprised me! I almost opened my eyes! Jeez Killua.

Is this what he does everytime he enters my room? But I thought he said was that he only mistaken my room for his, so why is he acting like this?

He traced every line on my face, then suddenly, I felt a soft brush of lips touch my forehead.

I accidentally raised my hand, a reflex, because I thought something was on my forehead. Killua suddenly straightened up.

That was Killua's lips, right? But why is he doing this? It's freaking me out! It's sending shivers to my spine and my heart is unstable again, beating fast and loud. I think I'm going to die right now. I really want to open my eyes and see his expression while doing this.

"Goodnight, Y/n-chan," that whisper gave me goosebumps. He whispered right to my ear! His breath was hot and damnit, I can still feel it! And it's making my body all tingly. I can feel electricity inside my body, making me tremble.

I thought he was going to leave. But he didn't. Instead he lay down beside me and hugged me rather tight.

Why is this happening to me? Why is Killua-kun acting like this? I really thought he's mistaken my room with his everytime I wake up with him beside me! So he's doing this on purpose? So this is what he does every night! Oh, my. I don't know if I should feel angry or whatever. Right now, I don't know, but I'm glad that I have him beside me now.

Killua, you stupid. You're messing me up again.

Now I wonder if I can still sleep, knowing that he's beside me. My heart doesn't seem to stop its fast and loud beat. I'm in big trouble.

"Y/n, are you going with us today? We're going karaoke," Mai, one of my classmates asked me. She's also a friend of mine.

I looked at her while arranging my notebooks. "No, I don't think so. No one's going to look after Killua. And besides, he'll be all alone in the house," I answered her.

"Hmmm? But I thought Killua-kun has a date today?" Aki said, also one of my classmates. She's also like Mai to me. A friend.

Date?

My head turned to face her. "What date?" I asked. Why do I suddenly feel alarmed?

She looked at me. "You didn't know? Killua-kun is going out with one of the girls in his class. I think her name is Yuuri-san or something like that. Well, everyone's been talking about it."

"WHAAAT?!" I think I heard it wrong. Maybe I'm turning deaf? Aki tell me I heard you wrong.

Mai laughed at me. "Hey, Y/n, what's with that reaction? Killua should enjoy himself here, you know. And having a girlfriend is one way."

No freaking way. I am not letting Killua-kun have a girlfriend when I myself doesn't even have a boyfriend. That can't be right. He just transferred here! And now he's flirting?

I slammed my bag on my desk and suddenly stood up. "NO! This is inexcusable! Aki! Tell me, where do they often go?" I can't let him go all his way here! But is that really the reason? When I heard the word 'date', 'girlfriend', my chest seems to feel heavy. I don't know why. Jeez, these stupid emotions I have!

"Let's see. Ah! I think one of the girls from the other class said they often went to this coffee shop after class," Aki said.

Why didn't I heard of this? Where was I the whole time? And to think that I live under the same roof with Killua, I don't even know that he's dating someone already. Why didn't he tell me that? But he doesn't really need to tell me. It's his personal issues, after all.

"Then what are we waiting for? Move your butts! Let's go and find him!" I started walking towards the door.

"Y/n," Mai called. "Is it really okay? I mean, its Killua-kun's business. We shouldn't be meddling with his own matters. You should consider his feelings here too, you know."

His feelings. Urgh. Of course it's his choice. I don't know why I'm acting like this. Well maybe if I can get a look at his girlfriend, maybe I'll be satisfied.

I glanced at the both of them. "Well then, accompany me and let's see how this Yuuri-san looks like," I said, feeling so down and defeated.

Aki stood up and started walking towards the door. "Everyone says that she's really pretty — I haven't seen her yet. And nice. So I don't think you can be against with someone like that, right, Y/n? You're his big sister after all, so I understand your concerns."

Big . . . sister. Family . .. Brother . . Killua is my brother . . . Is it wrong for me to act this way?

No, it's not wrong. It's just a big sister instinct, that's all.

Is it really that all? I don't think so.

"Y/n, Killua-kun is really popular. It's only been a week since he transferred, but he managed to steer all the girls in our school," Mai commented, giggling. We're now walking to this coffee shop that Aki said.

"Yeah, including me," Aki chuckled.

I glared at them. "He's my little brother. Don't even think about it."

"Whoa," Mai said, laughing. "You don't have to be so angry, Y/n. We didn't even said that we like him. We're just interested. He's really cute."

"Yeah," Aki agreed, smiling.

Interested and like. The meaning of these two words doesn't differ much, don't they?

I sighed. Why in the world am I acting like this? This feeling is unfamiliar to me. I don't know how to respond to this, and I don't know what this stupid feeling is!

Ever since that night — when I learned that he is purposely going inside my room — everytime I'm around him I feel so conscious about myself. I always feel uneasy. I would only feel comfortable around him when he would talking rude to me, and we would end up arguing. Somehow, when I knew of his visit to my bedroom every night was on purpose, somehow, myself has changed on how it view Killua-kun as a brother. And ever since then, I wanted to be closer to him.

"That's the coffee shop," Aki said, pointing to a coffee shop near a convenience store. We quicken our pace a little.

But what is this? It's just a couple of blocks away from our house. Why didn't he bring her home instead of dating her there in that coffee shop? And can you even call that date? He could've introduced me to her. Doesn't he want his girlfriend to meet me?

"Hey, this is near your house, right Y/n?" Mai asked.

I ignored her. I always passed by this coffee shop everytime I went home from school. How come I didn't see them? The door and front wall is made of glass, so it's visible inside. Maybe this is the first time that they went to this coffee shop. To think of it, why is it a coffee shop? That means that they're ordering coffee, right? Coffee is bad for a person's health! There's a lot of restaurants and shops and parks out there just around this area, but why coffee shop?

When we arrived in front of the coffee shop, I searched inside the building — I'm just searching outside though. I have no intension of going inside. I just want to see his girlfriend's face. If she's pretty, it's fine. If she's ugly, I'll take back Killua. He's mine.

Mine? Uhh, hello, Y/n? Maybe we should put more consciousness inside your head.

"Y/n, there's Killua," Aki whispered.

I couldn't see him. "Where is that idiot?"

Mai grabbed the sleeve of my uniform and pointed. "Are you blind? There," she whispered.

My eyes widened. I thought my eyeballs just fell to the ground. "EH?!"

He's right in front of me! I mean, he's right in the first table, near the door. He's looking right at me — at us, I mean. Why do I suddenly feel nervous now? My knees feel so weak I feel like falling to the ground. I'm so nervous! Though I don't know why I'm feeling this way.

It seems to me that Killua hesitated before he smiled. Why? "Neechan!" he called. He waved and signed that we should come inside.

"Oh! We should come and join them!" Aki said enthusiastically.

Mai grabbed her left arm before she could even walk inside the shop. "You idiot. We don't want to ruin their date, right Y/n?"

I didn't hear them. That girl with Killua, whose back is on us, is oddly familiar. That hair too. Who is that girl?

But this only confirmed that Killua is dating someone. I don't want to see this. I want to go home. I don't like it when my chest is hurting like this. And even if I say that it's hurting, I don't know why my chest is in pain.

I tried to look my best and smiled. "We should join them. I want to meet her."

Mai sighed. "Fine. If that's what you want."

We entered the coffee shop and went straight to their table.

"Neechan, who're you looking for?" Killua asked as we approach.

"Uhh, err —" I stammered. What the heck? "N-No we we're j-just —"

"So nice of Y/n to join," the girl with Killua said. "And also her friends." She added.

I glanced at her. My eyes widened and this time, my eyeballs really fell down the floor. "Y-YOU?!"

She looked at me then smirked. "What a reaction. As expected of Y/n. Aren't you happy to see me?" This girl! It's not the Yuuri-san that Aki said at all! It's . . . IT'S HER!