Chapter Five

Junhyungs POV

I came home at 11 pm. The guys should be sleeping by now. Well I had a great time at Jessica place, it was great to see Mr and Mrs Jung. I wonder has Jessica told them about her sickness yet, hmm probably not since they didn't looked upset or even talked about it. Maybe I should tell Jessica that I know about her too. I was about to lay down on my bed after washing my face and brushing teeth when suddenly Hyunseung from the other bed got up.

"Oh Hyunseung, I thought you were asleep,"

"Yeah I was, but someone had to turn on the lights and woke me up," 

"Oh sorry," I apologised.

"So where were you?"

"Jessica's house,"

"Jessica? I thought you guys broke up already, you're seriously confusing me right now," he said rubbing his eyes.

"Long story," I simply said.

"Ohhh, I love long story, come on tell!"

I laughed, this guys is seriously something, "I just wanted to see her but then her mum and dad came back from Australia so I stayed and had dinner with them,"

"That's a long story?"

Should I tell her about why I even came to her place.

"Yes it is,"

"Argg, you're frustrating to talk to, why did you even go there, Ah! I knew it you still love her, no offence but you're a ing bastard man for cheating on her. No offence" 

"None taken, I was a bastard,"

Hyunseung made a shock face. "Woah! did i just hear this right, The joker admitted that he is a bastard, woah!"

I laughed once again, "Yes I'm admitting it," My tears are threatening to fall for some reason I don't know why but probably because of the thought that I feel guilty that I cheated on her and she's sick, and that I still love her until now.

"Wanna tell me something?" hyunseung asked who seems to be sensing the upset atmosphere I’m bringing in the room.

"Today, I overheard Hyunah and Jessica talking. Jessica, she told hyunah that she was sick and she won't have that much time anymore,"

Hyunseung could be believe what I just sad he was speechless.

"What? You're joking right, dude, don't do that!"

"I'm not she really is sick, she hasn't told anyone except hyunah, she doesn't know that I knew about it thats why I came to her house and see her but- but I didn't tell her that I knew, i didn't want to see her upset or remind her anything about it,"

Hyunseung patted my shoulder, "Junhyung, its going to be okay, trust me," he smiled.

"Yeah I hope she'll be alright, Hyunseung, I still love her, but she doesnt know that, She probably thinks the opposite I don't know how to tell her. Especially that I'm with Hara now,"

"Well do you love Hara?"

"Yes,no, i- as a sister I just didn't want to hurt her, I'm really confuse I don't know what to do."

"Well somehow you're gunna have to make a choice and even if you didn't intend to hurt either of them someone will get hurt,”

“I know,” I simply said, He looked at me, “Go to sleep, have a rest, you don’t have any schedule tomorrow right, try and think about things tomorrow, kay?” hyunseung said.

“Yeah, thanks man,” I smiled at him.

“You’re welcome Goodnight,”

“Goodnight,”

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I woke up and went out of my room to cook breakfast, I sighed everyone’s gone off to their shcedules now I’m all by myself in the dorm.

I heard a knock from the door, wondering who it may be, I opened it and saw Hara standing and smiling at me.

“Oppa~” she hugged and kissed me on the lips.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked.

“Well you don't have anything on today right, and so do I, so I decided we should spend it together,” 

“I- uhm—“

“You don't want me to be here oppa?”

“No, no its not that, its just that, I just really want to be myself and have a rest you know,” I apologeticaly said.

“Oh,” she said. “Maybe I should just go then,”

She turned around for the door. I didn't really want to be mean but I just really need some time for myself to think things but for some reason I grabbed her wrist and made her turn to me.

“Uhm, sorry I didn't mean it like that Hara,”

She looked at me sincerely, “Oppa, whats wrong? You’ve been...really weird lately,”

“Nothing, I just need time for myself, to figure things out and to just –“

“Figure things out? Like what? Our relationship?”

I looked at her eyes, there was full of sadness I can see it. Now what should I say.

“Yes, to figure our relationship out and not just that, there’s other things in my life that I really need to think about,”

Her cheerful smiles were gone, it was all sadness in her eyes.

“Oppa, have you notice that you never really told me that you love me, you said liked me but you didn't say that you loved me, What are we really?”

I was dumbfounded by her question. She was right, I never told her I loved her and what were we really, i don't know as well, I know she loves me but I don't love her the way she loves me. Did I just use her to kill time when Jessica isnt with me?

Hara came closer to me. She held my hand and looked at me, I looked back at her. "Oppa, you still love Jessica, you always did, I can see it,"

"Hara…."

"Listen, I'm only one chapter in your book, Jessica, she's - she's always gonna be in every chapter,"

Hara sighed and kissed me on the cheek.

"Well I wish you luck Junhyung," she smiled.

"Thank you," I smiled back at her.