After Luhan’s posting, everyone was curious about Hana. Thankfully there weren’t any haters, yet. I continued on meeting up with them whenever they had time, Jongin didn’t try to talk to me anymore and it felt kind of weird. But I was thankful. I guess we both know this isn’t the right thing to do.

I was out and about with Hana today, just walking around aimlessly trying to do some café hopping. We stumbled upon a café called Kamong (which strangely reminded me of Jongin). It was quite empty maybe because of the timing – it was only 11am. Kids were probably still in school. I guess this was a family café? The parents and sister were mending the counter, and there were three dogs sleeping in the corner. Jongin would’ve loved this café.

“KAIIII~” I heard Hana screech and froze, was this another coincidence? I turned slowly to where she was pointing and true enough, he just walked in looking sleepy and all.

“Hana!” He exclaimed brightly and came up to us. “Are you guys stalking me right now?” Jongin joked as he pecked Hana’s forehead.

“An… Aniyo… Wae?”

“My noona runs this café…”

“Omo! No wonder… I seriously had no idea… That’s… That’s your family?”

“Yup! Come on, I’ll introduce you to them!” Jongin carried Hana and began walking towards the counter. I was feeling nervous. I was scared they would think Jongin shouldn’t be friends with me. I’ve received a lot of stares from parents before. They were afraid I would taint their perfect child. Bleahs.

“Aigooo… Who do we have here…” The older woman cooed when Jongin asked Hana to say hi.

“This is the famous Hana omma. The one hyungs and I are crazy about, haha!” Jongin replied cheerfully. “And this is her mom, Hyemi…”

“An.. Anneyeohaseyo…”

“You have such a beautiful daughter…” His noona I assume, said politely and I blushed a little. he hasn’t been talking about me right?

“Can i…?” His dad asked gesturing he wanted to carry Hana. At first she looked like she was about to cry, then Jongin whispered something to her and she was all okay. That boy sure knew how to handle babies.

“How old is she…?”

“Two…”

“Her birthday is the same as mine!” Jongin added in.

“Go on, have a seat you two. Hyemi, we’ll borrow your daughter for a while okay?”

“Ne…” I walked back to my seat, with Jongin following closely behind. “Do.. Erm.. Did you tell your parents about me or something?”

“Yeah I told them I was having a major crush”

“MWO?!”

“On Hana, not you” Jongin teased and I felt my cheeks burning. “I’ll tell you a little secret… My parents know Ravi is Hana’s dad”

“H… How…?”

“It seemed the boy consulted my parents about this and they agreed to keep it from me. But now… Oh wells. Things just happen I guess”

“Hmmm…”

“Hyemi?”

“Yeah?”

“Hana and you have become really special to me you know…”

“It’s not right Jongin. Please let’s not talk about this…”

“Hyemi you got to have a little faith!”

“My faith was thrown out long time ago. Blame Ravi!”

“Do you still have feelings for him?”

“What? No!”

“Then what about me?”

“I… Jongin please don’t ask me that”

“Kim Jongin” Not a voice I wanted to hear at that moment. I turned to see Ravi standing nearby, he then turned his gaze over to Hana who was giggling away with his parents. He clenched his fists and walked towards them.

“Ravi no” I stood up and held onto his arm. “Please…” I placed my palms onto his and slowly unclenched his fists. This was like old times, it hurt too much.

“I just want to see her once boo…” Ravi said softly. My tears were raging to fall, I didn’t what to do. I can’t lie, I’ve imagined this scene a 1000 times but now I don’t want it to happen. I didn’t want Hana to know Ravi was her dad. I wanted to continue pretending it was Jongin.

I took Hana from Jongin’s dad and stood infront of Ravi, my tears already falling non-stop. Hana looked confused and wiped my tears away with her grubby hands.

“Hey Hana…” Ravi said, I couldn’t read his expression. I could tell Hana was scared; she was starting to wriggle and put her arms out to Jongin instead. Ravi’s face changed so fast when he realized this and snapped. “OUR DAUGHTER THINKS JONGIN IS HER FATHER?!” Hana started crying and Jongin’s mother took her away from me – bringing her to the back end of the café.

“Don’t you dare raise you voice at me!” Nobody has the right to make my daughter cry. Not even her own dad.

“How could you be so stupid Hyemi?! You could’ve just waited for me till I come out from national service or something!”

“Wait? Wait for you?! Have you forgotten your own words?! You told me I was a mistake. You said Hana was a mistake. You said I was holding you back from debuting. You said I was nothing but and obstacle and the only reason I had Hana was because I wanted to hold onto you! You told me there was no point in waiting for you! You didn’t want a child out of wedlock! I GAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU RAVI! I DIDN’T EXPECT YOU TO STAY! AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR OWN DAUGHTER! WERE YOU THAT SCARED I WOULD RUN TO THE MEDIA AND BLAB YOUR SECRET?!”

“Hyemi I ju – “

“I WASN’T DONE TALKING! DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO GET BACK IN MY LIFE BECAUSE I’M DONE. SO DONE WITH YOU AND YOUR CRAP. HANA WILL NEVER KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I’D RATHER SHE GROW UP WITHOUT A DAD THEN HAVE YOU AS ONE”

“LEE HYEMI!” Ravi’s voice boomed, startling me a little. We used to fight like this all the time and it was tiring. I just wanted to go home.

“I think you better go Ravi” Jongin said curtly.

“You stay out of this Jongin. I thought we were friends? You’re choosing some girl over me?”

“She’s not just some girl Ravi. She carried your own flesh and blood. She’s a mother. Show some respect”

“Has our Jonginnie fallen in love?” Ravi scoffed.

“Yes”

I wanted to scream at Jongin. This was a mess. My head’s in a mess! It happened so fast I didn’t have time to react when Ravi threw the first punch. When Jongin wanted to retaliate I stood in front of him, literally begging him not to continue.

“I think you should go now Ravi” Jongin’s dad said harshly and opened the door for him.

“I will get you back Hyemi. If I can’t have you, nobody else can”

I slumped into a nearby seat and started bawling my eyes out. I can’t even handle myself how do I expect to bring Hana up? I’m such a terrible mother. Jongin approached and kneeled down in front of me, holding my hands.

“I won’t let him hurt you…”

“He… I… I’m sc… Scared…”

“I’m not and will never be like him. Just give me a chance…”

I didn’t know what to reply. His parents and sister was around us and I was scared. I can’t throw this responsibility on him. I haven’t even told my parents about him! I don’t think they’ll be happy about it though.

“We know Jongin has feelings for you dear…” His mom said suddenly, carrying a calmed down Hana.

“And we’re okay with that…” His dad continued. “You have our support, you need not worry about anything else…”

“So what do you say Hyemi?” Jongin looked at me again.