Hello My Dearest, Most Loyal Readers!

I was away longer than I thought I would be. Sorry about that.

I hope the length of this update will help you overlook the looooong wait!   ^_^

Thank you ALL for your patience.

Chapter 40

“Well, the place still looks the same,” Mrs Tuan remarked.

“How much should it have changed since we were here last?” her husband asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe I was expecting it to have changed more because JinYoung isn’t here,” she said. “I don’t know how, I just thought it would seem different.”

“It feels different to me,” Mr Tuan said with a trace of sadness in his voice. “I keep expecting my sons to show up.”

“Yes, JinYoung was our son too, wasn’t he?”

“Yes . . . he was . . .”

*                                 *                                 *                                 *

“I’m here SoonHee.”

There was no response. Then . . .

“What are you doing here. I told you not to bother coming.”

“We have to talk.”

“We have nothing to talk about,” Mrs Pak countered.

“Then I can just talk and you can listen.”

“What makes you think I want to hear anything you have to say, Lily, after what your son did to . . .”

“That’s enough, SoonHee. I’m coming over there and if you leave, I’ll still be there when you come back.”

Then, Mrs Tuan hung up the phone.

“Do you think this is such a good idea?” Mr Tuan asked.

“I know SoonHee. If she really hadn’t wanted to speak to me, she would have hung up right away and turned her phone off. I can tell by her voice. She’s angry and confused, but though she’d never admit it . . . she misses me,” Mrs Pak smiled, “and if she misses me, think how much she must miss JinYoung,” she reasoned.

“But, she’s not like you, Lily. Alright, she might miss you and she might miss JinYoung, but she put all her hopes in that boy and now . . . no daughter-in-law and no grandchildren? She won’t get over that soon. She feels betrayed, Lily.”

“I know, but I have to try. I can’t help it. She’s been my closest friend ever since . . . for as long as Mark and JinYoung have been . . . were . . .” she took a deep breath, trying to press down an emotional reaction not only to the situation between herself and her friend, but the reality that Mark and JinYoung were no longer together. In her mind, she was partly to blame for this situation.

If Mark had felt secure enough to tell us earlier, maybe we could have helped.

So if she could at least reconcile JinYoung with his parents, it would seem to her as though she hadn’t contributed so much to damaging their lives.

“Did . . .? Did she say anything about KyungGu?” Mr Tuan asked.

“No. If you want to see him, you could just come with me,” Mrs Tuan offered.

“I’m going to go with you anyway. I’m not sending my wife into that dragon’s lair without any support.”

“But I don’t want to make SoonHee feel attacked. Maybe you shouldn’t come in,” she suggested.

“I’ll just invite him out so you two can talk. I don’t think he’ll want to be there anyway. I wouldn’t,” Mr Tuan said.

“Whether he’s there or not, I’m not leaving until we’ve talked. I want my friend back and I want my boys to be happy. As happy as they can be,” Mrs Tuan said.

“I don’t think you’re asking for too much, but she might not be willing to talk . . . or listen. You should be prepared for that,” Mr Tuan said taking his wife’s hands in his. “But you’re a good woman, Lily. You should get what you wish for.”

Mr Pak’s jaw worked angrily.

“What are you doing here?” he asked the couple standing in front of his door.

“I’m here to take you out,” Mr Tuan said.

Mr Pak’s angry laugh was more like a bark. “You came all the way here to . . . to what? To take me out? Is that what you just said, Jian?”

“Yes, now are you coming?”

“Do you think I’ve forgotten what your son . . .?”

“I’ve forgotten nothing. I think it’s you who’s forgotten. Now, come out. I’m not here to fight, KyungGu. I’m just here for a visit, that’s all.”

“That’s all, he says. After everything that’s happened, ‘that’s all’ . . .”

“That’s right,” Mr Tuan said calmly. “That’s all.”

“You two go, I would like to talk to SoonHee alone,” Lily said.

“So you can try to convince her . . .” Mr Pak began.

“I’m not here to convince her of anything. I’m here to see my friend.”

“Some friend. If this is what friends do . . . ruining their ‘friend’s’ children . . .”

“KyungGu, we did nothing wrong. And I don’t want to stand here having a dispute where all your neighbours can hear,” Mrs Tuan returned.

“If you didn’t do anything wrong then why is your son . . . ?”

“Why’s yours?” Lily countered. She was beginning to lose her patience.

“Wha . . .?”

“Go, I want to talk to her alone,” Mrs Pak said, appearing at the door. “You want to sit around listening to two women talk? Then stay if you want. If not . . .”

Mr Pak reached for his jacket and stormed past the couple who had once been his friends.

“KyungGu . . .” Mr Tuan called. After an encouraging look from his wife, he turned and followed him.

And with that, Mrs Pak then opened the door wide enough to let Mrs Tuan, her former friend, in.

*                                 *                                 *                                 *

“Make a wish and blow out the candles.”

JoKwon closed his eyes and began to wish in earnest.

“The candles are burning down,” Min whispered.

With his eyes still shut, JoKwon nodded his head and took another few seconds to finish off his wish. Then he took a deep breath and blew, making sure to extinguish every candle.

“Do you think you’ll get what you wished for?” Seulong whispered softly in his ear.

“I hope so,” JoKwon said, smiling as he turned to face him. Seulong pulled him into a tender embrace.

“Happy Birthday. I love you, Kwon,” he said.

“I love you,” JoKwon returned.

There were two guests missing from the assembled company: Jackson and GaYeon. They were away in Hong Kong because GaYeon had a match and afterwards they were both going to spend a few days with his family. But, being the good friends they were, they’d promised to get in touch on his birthday, and they kept that promise. Almost immediately after he’d blown out the candles on his cake, the sound of the call came in through his computer speakers and he sped down the hall to answer with virtually all his guests in tow.

He wasn’t the only one who missed the two, it seemed.

After practically everyone had taken turns saying ‘hello’ to Jackson and GaYeon via video chat, the guests slowly began filtering back into the living room, milling around with groups forming and dissolving as they usually do at parties.

JinYoung absently accepted a slice of cake Min offered him. His attention was elsewhere. He stood just to the outside of a group that had started to form and from where he was standing, he had a very good view of Mark and HimChan.

So, Mark brought him again. I guess that makes it official, JinYoung thought to himself. This group of guests had gathered around YoungJae and JB as they told their friends about their plans for the next few days.

“You’re leaving tomorrow morning?” Fei asked.

YoungJae and JaeBum had just announced that they were going to visit YoungJae’s family for a couple of days.

“Yes, we’re going to get an early start,” JB said. “We want to avoid as much traffic as possible.”

“Do your parents know about . . . the two of you?“ Fei asked.

“No,” YoungJae said. “I haven’t told them yet. We’re going to . . .” he swallowed nervously, “we’re going to tell them when we get there.” JB his hand comfortingly. “I was nervous about it . . . I’m still nervous about it, but they’ve already started asking about . . . things.”

Ever since YoungJae had started working at the studio, his parents had wanted to him to visit home and tell them all the news. At the beginning, they understood that he was busy, but it was starting to concern them that he didn’t want to come home; after all it had been a long time since he’d returned for a visit. On top of that, now that he had a job that he really loved and where he was earning well, his mother had started asking about the possibility of a girlfriend. The enquiries were occasional and casual at the beginning, but recently they had become more frequent. Now she was even talking about the possibility of blind dates! That’s when YoungJae made a decision. Whatever happened, he wasn’t going to get caught up in that trap. Although he’d never wanted to voluntarily broach the subject, he had learned enough from what had happened to Mark and JinYoung to know that it would probably be best to be honest about his feelings and his relationship with JaeBum instead of coming up with excuse after excuse in an attempt to ward off the inevitable. He knew the worst that could happen—it had happened to JinYoung—but he felt strong enough to handle it.

“We’ve phoned around and asked hotels in the area if they’ve got rooms available, so if things don’t go well, we’ll at least have somewhere to sleep,” JaeBum added in a weak attempt at levity. He cleared his throat before continuing. “It’s not a peak travel time, so most have assured us that there shouldn’t be a problem.”

“I hope they can accept it,” YoungJae said. “I don’t want them to be upset.” His face was laced with sadness and his voice registered the lack of confidence he was feeling as he  continued. “I’m sure they’ll probably feel upset at first, but I hope it won’t last long and that they’ll try to understand. And I hope they’ll accept JaeBum. If not . . . we still have each other, but it would be nice if they could accept us being together.”

As Fei hugged him supportively, JinYoung and Mark listened from the periphery. They couldn’t help thinking of what had been their own situation. YoungJae was brave. He was willing to risk his relationship with his parents for JaeBum. JinYoung couldn’t help but wish that he’d had that kind of courage.

HimChan could see Mark bristle slightly as he listened, most certainly recalling what had happened to his own relationship, so he took his friend’s hand and squeezed it, encouraging him.

JinYoung didn’t miss the gesture.

Mark, returned the squeeze and looked at HimChan. He smiled, acknowledging his kind action, then he immediately turned his eyes towards JinYoung. Their eyes met for a split second before JinYoung looked hurriedly away.

“I hope it works out for you,” Mark said, reaching out to squeeze YoungJae’s shoulder encouragingly.

YoungJae looked at his friend and knew that those were not just empty words. Mark had been through all this himself. And it hadn’t worked out for him as he’d hoped. He still had his family, that was true, but he no longer had JinYoung.

Mark earnestly wished for a different outcome for YoungJae. He hoped that he wouldn’t be forced to have to live without any of the people he loved.

“Sorry we’re late,” Jia called out as she stepped through the door and into the flat. She hadn’t misspoken when she said ‘we’. She wasn’t alone. A large guy, a guy no one had ever seen before entered directly after her. Though his body seemed powerful and sculpted even through his clothes and his jaw was squared and firm, his face looked extraordinarily sweet and childlike: there was something very adorable about him. He was quite a dichotomy.

“Everyone, this is Ok TaecYeon. Oppa, this is everyone,” Jia said, introducing him.

At the sound of ‘Oppa’ TaecYeon’s face, which was already cute, took on a shy quality, making him appear even more adorable. Apparently, he really liked being called that.

As they mingled, Jia introduced him around and slowly he got to know everyone’s names individually. Everyone (except Min, she already knew it) was curious as to just who he was and how they’d met, so Jia told the story.

It seems the fortune teller she and Min had visited had told her that she would meet the man of her dreams on a blind date, so, no matter how much of a waste of time they started to seem after a while, she kept going on date after date. And she would meet them at the same restaurant every time.

“That was my advice. Always meet in a very public place,” Min interjected. “And I even suggested the restaurant!” she added excitedly.

Jia smiled at her friend and grabbed her hand. It was obvious that both were stifling the urge to squeal, hug each other and jump up and down . . . generally to fangirl right there and then.

Then Jia, with helpful exclamations from Min, went on to explain how after every date her hopes had been dashed. She wanted to believe the fortune teller, because even though she was sceptical, she was still, just a little superstitious and, truth be told, she really wanted to find somebody.

She was pretty satisfied with her life: she had a job she liked, she had good friends, she was doing well. She had nothing to complain about. It was just . . . she wanted some love and romance in her life. But by the looks of things, it wasn’t going to happen, fortune teller or no fortune teller. So, she was about to give up.

And then it happened.

After her last blind date had left for the evening, a man approached her and asked if she could do him a favour. He introduced himself and said he wanted her opinion about a new item he wanted to include on the restaurant’s menu, but wasn’t sure about. Since she’d been there many times, he said, he thought she’d be familiar enough with the menu to know if it was first, any good and second, would fit the restaurant.

She really wasn’t in the mood to do anyone a favour; she was more than ready to go home, however, he asked nicely and good food always cheered her up, so she agreed to taste it . . . just to help him out of course, not because she found him attractive or anything. . . .

He showed her to a table and after asking her permission, he sat across from her . . . just to note her initial reaction while she did the taste-test, he’d said. Even though she wasn’t interested—she was only doing him a favour, right?—as he sat there, she’d still been able to notice just how attractive he was, especially when he smiled. After all, she wasn’t blind.

As they waited for the meal to arrive, he struck up a conversation and by the time it was served, he had made her laugh a lot and set her at ease. He was turning out to be quite charming.

She ended up rating the meal quite high.

But as good as the food was, his company was even better.

So, when he asked her for her number, she couldn’t really think of a good reason to refuse.

After that, they’d begun to see each other and now (squeal from Min) were dating.

“So, the fortune teller wasn’t quite right, but sort of,” Jia said.

“You don’t believe in all that, do you?” JB asked.

“Not really,” she admitted. “I think I believe more in Min. She’s the one who suggested the restaurant,” she said squeezing her friend’s hand. Then, she looked at TaecYeon and smiled. “I’m just glad we met.”

“Still, I wouldn’t mind getting the address of that fortune teller,” Fei said.

Mark couldn’t take his eyes of JinYoung all evening, but he did everything he could not to make it too obvious, just in case it made JinYoung uncomfortable.

And he had good reason to think that it might. After that breakfast they’d had together, his mind had been increasingly bombarded with memories of when the two of them were together, but he hadn’t had a chance to talk to JinYoung between then and now and so had been looking forward to spending some time with him this evening. But every time he’d tried to start a conversation with JinYoung, the other would find some excuse to move away from him. At first, he didn’t think anything of it, but after a while, it became obvious that JinYoung was avoiding him. He just didn’t know why.

*                                 *                                 *                                 *

Later that evening as Mark stood alone on the terrace looking out at the night sky, HimChan joined him.

“What’s up?” HimChan asked.

“Just thinking . . .” Mark answered.

“I don’t need three guesses to figure out about whom.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yes, it is,” HimChan said. “Why don’t you talk to him?”

“I’ve tried, HimChan. He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

HimChan thought for a moment and then he said, “I’m trying to imagine JinYoung not wanting to talk to you, but for the life of me, I just can’t do it.”

“Then you haven’t been looking too closely this evening,” Mark countered, “or else you would have noticed that he’s run away from me every time I tried to approach him.”

“Then you should try harder,” HimChan said. “Anybody with eyes can see that JinYoung loves you.”

“Loved me,” Mark said. “Feelings change, HimChan.”

“Loved,” HimChan said in a faraway voice, thinking of someone else . . . someone he hadn’t seen since . . . that day, “it’s not that easy to move from ‘loves’ to ‘loved’, Mark, believe me,” he said sounding as though he was referring to more than just Mark and JinYoung. “It isn’t for you and I’m sure it isn’t for JinYoung either.”

It certainly isn’t easy for me. But there’s no hope in my case . . . HimChan thought ruefully.

“No, it isn’t easy, but it can be done, if someone really wants it. And I guess . . . maybe he really wants it,” Mark replied sadly.

Then he just sighed as HimChan stood quietly beside him, both of them lost in their own thoughts under the dark sky.

*                                 *                                 *                                 *

“You want to come in?” HimChan asked as Mark stopped in front of his building to drop him off.

“No, thanks, I think I’ll just go home and go to bed,” Mark replied.

HimChan turned to open the car door, but then stopped and turned back.

“Mark, I think you should call him. You two should talk. You should both make very clear where you stand and what’s going on. No more guessing. Just talk.” Then he opened the door and before stepping out, reached over and gave his friend one last hug. “Goodnight, Mark. Call him.”

Mark didn’t head home. His thoughts, his feelings were swirling around in a whirlwind of confusion. He knew HimChan was right, he knew they needed to clarify what they were feeling and where they now stood in relation to one another. But as right as he knew HimChan was and as much as he wanted to talk to JinYoung, after this evening, he was . . . afraid. What if JinYoung’s feelings really had changed? What if he really didn’t love Mark anymore?

If that were the case, Mark didn’t want to know.

He felt an ache in his stomach at the thought that it could be utterly and completely over between him and JinYoung . . . forever.

So, instead of going home, he headed to a place he hoped would bring him some comfort and help him sort through his jumbled and tangled feelings.

*                                 *                                 *                                 *

The water was there as it always had been. Reflecting the lights that danced across its rippling surface, offering a quiet calm that it always provided when Mark needed to smooth out whatever ruffling pain he was feeling.

But as he walked closer to the water, with every step he found himself feeling more and more forlorn. Because with each step, it became clearer to him that if JinYoung had now decided to push him away, a life with him was becoming less and less likely.

He stopped for a moment about halfway between his car and the water’s edge and stood looking out at the sky above the water which was quietly lapping against the shore. The lights from the moon and the city distortedly shone over it. But then as he resumed heading towards the water, he noticed an outline in the darkness. In the distance someone else was standing where he was headed.

As he drew closer, the outline of the person standing by the water began to look familiar.

It couldn’t be.

Could it? Could he be mistaken?

He wasn’t.

It was.

JinYoung.

Mark felt torn. He wanted to keep walking towards him, he wanted them to talk . . . to clear the air . . . to make things certain. But fear held him at bay. He was torn between going closer and turning away, so he just stopped walking before he reached the water’s edge and stood still. And as he stood there, wondering what he should do next, JinYoung turned around.

“Mark . . .?” he uttered faintly.

Their eyes met.

That decided it. He couldn’t walk away.

He walked closer to the water and closer to JinYoung.

JinYoung remembered. Like him, if Mark came to the water alone at night, it was likely he was feeling disturbed about something. That had been a quality they had shared. When they’d first discovered that this was a habit the other had all that time ago, they had laughed about it. It was just another thing they had in common.

But now JinYoung was puzzled. He had come here because his heart needed soothing. Why? Because Mark, his Mark, had decided to let him go and had decided to cling on to HimChan.

But then, if he’d decided that, what was Mark doing here?

Maybe he and HimChan had argued and Mark was upset about it?

But even as he thought that, he knew that it wasn’t the truth. He had watched the two of them virtually all evening at JoKwon’s and there had been absolutely no sign of discord . . . just the opposite, in fact. With every passing moment as his eyes followed them, he’d felt more and more envious of their relationship. There was a time when he and Mark had been just like that, but . . . they weren’t anymore.

So, if Mark was upset about something it probably had nothing to do with HimChan.

As he watched Mark near the water and could see his eyes more clearly, he began to suppose that if Mark was upset about something, it could have something to do with . . . him.

Had he been wrong about all this?

When Mark reached where JinYoung was standing, he didn’t look at him: instead, he just looked out across the water. He knew he should say something, but he didn’t want to speak in case he said the wrong thing. He wanted to calm his thoughts and his feelings first. He didn’t want anything to go wrong.

So, they stood beside each other looking out at the water as the lights of humans and nature reflected themselves on its surface. Neither knew what to say, so they simply stood in silence.

Finally, JinYoung realised what it was he wanted to say. Yes, he had said it already. He had also said it over and over to himself. But now, he wanted . . . he needed to say it again.

Without turning his head, as tears gathered in his eyes, he choked out the words.

“Sorry, Mark . . . I’m so sorry. . . ” then without waiting to hear a response, he turned and began running off.

“JinYoung! . . . JinYoung!” Mark called as he took off after him. Mark overtook him as he headed for his car and stopped immediately in JinYoung’s path forcing him to a halt. His chest was heaving with emotion. Grabbing him by the shoulders, Mark cried aloud, “you’re not allowed to do that! You’re not allowed to . . . !” Hot and angry tears of pain began to flow down his face as he pulled JinYoung to himself and held him tightly. “You don’t have the right,” he cried in a broken voice, “you aren’t allowed to leave me,” he then breathed quietly into JinYoung’s neck.

“Mark . . .” JinYoung said tremblingly.

“Don’t leave me . . . please . . . JinYoung . . . don’t leave me . . .”

Mark pulled back until he and JinYoung stood face to face. Then he plunged forward and kissed JinYoung hard on the mouth. The kiss was full of anger and fear, need, desire and . . . he now knew. . . love.

He loved Pak JinYoung.

It was a love that he wasn’t sure he wanted to feel, but it was a love that he now knew was there . . . a love that was still there after everything that had happened between them. It was a love that had never really gone away.

He kissed him over and over, peppering his face with relentless kisses until JinYoung began to kiss him back returning each kiss with one that was just as firm and vehement. JinYoung’s arms pressed Mark against him as tightly as Mark was holding him, their kisses becoming more and more heated.

Finally, Mark stopped kissing him and simply held JinYoung against him. They stood with their arms around each other for a long time . . . JinYoung occasionally pressing a kiss against Mark’s jaw or neck as they stood quietly. Mark’s hands slid across JinYoung’s back, rubbing it gently as he held him.

After standing wrapped in each other’s arms for a long time, Mark took a step back, and they both beheld each other. Simultaneously, each reached out and wiped away the tracks that had been formed by the other’s tears as they smiled at the coincidence. After looking into each other’s eyes for a moment, Mark reached down and took JinYoung’s hand. Then they began to walk towards JinYoung’s car.

“Are you alright to drive?” Mark asked gently.

At that question, JinYoung started inwardly with fear.

Was that it? Was that all he had to say? Does Mark expect him to simply get into his car now and drive off after what just passed between them?

“I’m . . . alright to drive,” JinYoung admitted, feeling sullen inside.

 “Then, if it’s okay . . . and you want to . . .” Mark said timidly while looking deeply into JinYoung’s eyes, “follow me.”

I just wanted to take a moment to apologise for the extremely long time between posting chapters. First, as you all know, I had guests. Then, schoolwork and preparation for the classes I'm teaching.

Then, unfortunately, I don't know what happened.

As you all know, I had already outlined the entire story before I even started writing it, but for some reason, I was simply unable to write this next chapter. I would write and then go back and edit and write again and then edit again. For whatever reason, what I was writing never seemed to be good enough to post. I think when you have to take a long time away from a story, the flow can disappear. I think that's what happened to me anyway. Sorry about that.

Anyway, I hope you liked the update. I know it was a long time coming, but finally, I was able to post it and I was proud that it was, at least, not skimpy.

Thank you all for your patience and for the love you've shown for the story.

Please don't forget to comment, subscribe and upvote!

I WILL update again SOON!!!  (*^_^)