Chapter 15

"So you're going Jae-Jae?" JinYoung asked.

"Yes, Hyung. I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful for everything you've done for me . . ." YoungJae responded sadly.

"Of course, not. If anyone was born to sing, it's you. I'm happy for you. I'm . . . just going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Hyung. But we'll see each other again. You should come to Seoul sometime. Almost all of the friends from our class are there, now."

"Well, I can't leave Escape just like that. We worked so hard to . . . "

He stopped.

We . . .

Mark was leaving 'it just like that'.

Leaving him . . .

His smile faltered. "I guess it's not so easy to escape from Escape," he tried to kid. "At least, not for me . . . "

"I'm sorry, Hyung," YoungJae said miserably.

"What do you have to be sorry for, YoungJae-ah? You haven't done anything. This is all my fault. I brought it on myself," JinYoung admitted.

YoungJae reached for JinYoung's hand and held it affectionately.

The two friends sat together in silence for a while before JinYoung softly asked, "How is he, YoungJae?"

"He's trying to be strong. At least he's putting on a brave face in front of me, but I know he's in a lot of pain. Sometimes, he just stares off into the distance for a long time, thinking. When that happens, I just sit next to him in case he needs me. Sometimes, I leave him alone if I think he'd prefer it. Mostly, it doesn't seem to matter if I'm there or not. He seems really wrapped up in his own thoughts."

"Are you sure that I shouldn't go see him?" JinYoung asked desperately. Hearing that Mark was feeling this miserable was like being stabbed in the chest. "Are you sure it would make things worse?"

"We don't talk about your . . . situation often, but whenever he mentions it . . . "

"Yes? . . . What?"

"He warns me not to try to do anything reconcile the two of you. He says if he can't rely on his friends to understand, he'll go far away. . . . That's what he says," YoungJae said.

"It can't really been over," JinYoung  whispered sorrowfully. "I can't let him go just like that . . . "

"I'm just telling you what he told me, Hyung. . . . I'm so sorry . . . " YoungJae said regretfully.

JinYoung seemed to pull himself together.

"It's my Mark we're talking about. I love him and I know he still loves me." He wiped the tears that had started forming in his eyes. "When he's ready, we'll talk about it and we'll work through it. No reason to worry, Jae-Jae-ah," he assured him. "The most important thing right now is that you seize your future with both hands. I know you'll do well."

"Thank you, Hyung," YoungJae said gratefully.

"And remember, whenever a chance for happiness comes your way, always embrace it." He stared off distractedly into the distance and it seemed that he was no longer only talking to YoungJae, but also to himself. "A lot of people think you have an unlimited number of chances at being happy, but they're wrong. Sometimes you have one chance, sometimes two chances, sometimes three, but no number is guaranteed. Happiness is something you have to be careful with ; when it comes along, you have to treat it like the precious thing it is." Once he'd finished talking, he seemed to come back to himself. He looked at YoungJae and smiled reaching out to ruffle his hair.

"So YoungJae-ah, when your chances come, hold on to every one of them and treat each moment with gratitude."

"Thank you, Hyung," he said, on the verge of tears. Then he reached out and pulled JinYoung into a tight embrace.

JinYoung closed his eyes and wished two things: first that YoungJae, one of the most wonderful people he'd ever known, would truly be happy and second, he wished with all his heart that Mark, his greatest happiness, wasn't really gone for good.

*                                 *                                 *                                 *                                 *

"Hyung, what's going on?" Jackson asked in his very direct way, thirty seconds into the call once JinYoung had answered.

JinYoung wasn't in the mood to talk, but he knew that Jackson would not give up on this topic. So, sadly, haltingly, he filled him in on what happened between him and Mark.

"JinYoung-Hyung! Are you crazy? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Could you please stop shouting at me, Jackson? I feel miserable enough," JinYoung groaned.

"You're lucky all I'm doing is yelling! How the hell could you let this happen?  . . . Poor Mark . . . "

"Don't you think I feel bad?" JinYoung asked despairingly.

"You don't feel bad enough," Jackson said.

"Look, Jackson . . . "

"No, you look, Hyung. You remember how miserable Mark was during the engagement party and then you went on more dates with this girl . . . "

" . . . they weren't dates . . . "

"I'm sure they were to her," rejoined Jackson sardonically. "Anyway, then you kiss her . . ."

"I didn't kiss her. She kissed me . . . "JinYoung defended.

"And you just stood there and let her do it? Then, you didn't even talk to Mark about it? You just f***ing went to bed?!"

"I didn't know what to say. I was scared. And ashamed. I didn't want to hurt him . . . "

"Hyung, I don't know if you've noticed yet, but it seems like these days, all you've been doing is hurting him."

"I didn't mean to. I just thought I could keep everyone happy," JinYoung groaned.

"Well, now maybe you can," Jackson said.

"What do you mean?" JinYoung asked.

"Well, you wanted your parents to be happy, so at least you've accomplished that."

"Jackson . . . "

"No, really. You were ready to sacrifice Mark's feelings just to make them happy. Now, with you and MiRa together, they must be beside themselves with joy. When's the wedding?"

"Stop it, Jackson."

"No, you stop it! This was the dumbest plan I've ever heard! Not only do you make Mark feel discarded and alone, you get this girl so entangled she really, actually falls in love with you. All just because you don't have the balls to tell your parents that you're gay!"

"Oh, really, because you know how I feel, huh? You with your female fiancée! Yeah, you can really judge me, Jackson!"

"Look, Hyung, I'm not trying to judge you. I just want you to see things for what they are. Look at all the people you've been willing to hurt just so you don't have to come clean to your parents. That's what's really been happening. And the sad thing is, if Mark hadn't left, you would have kept this going, wouldn't you?"

JinYoung was struck dumb. He knew that what Jackson was saying was true.

"See, Hyung? You would have kept it up no matter how much Mark was hurt; you would have just expected him to live with this for . . .  for how long exactly?"

"I never meant to hurt him . . . "

"But you did hurt him, Hyung," Jackson said wearily. "Why don't you just face the truth. You're never going to come out to your parents. You don't want to disappoint them, so sooner or later you're just going to give in and get married to some poor, unsuspecting woman and have kids just to please them. You think Mark didn't know that? How long did you think he was supposed to hang around waiting for the other shoe to drop?"

JinYoung hadn't wanted to face it, but . . . Jackson . . . was right . . .

"JinYoung-Hyung, when are you going to realize that you can't have it both ways? Why don't you finally have some compassion and just . . . let him go?"

"But I . . . " JinYoung answered shakily.

"I know . . .  I know you love him," Jackson said quietly, "but you're going to have to either give him up or tell your parents. And the truth is, you're not ever going to tell them, are you?"

" . . . no. . . ." JinYoung admitted wretchedly.

"Then . . . "

*                                 *                                 *                                 *                                 *

When Mark woke up the next morning and turned his phone on, he noticed a missed call.

It was from JinYoung.

There was also a text message.

"I'll be in the office at 8:00. - JinYoung"

Today was the day.

He got out of bed and started getting ready.

*                                 *                                 *                                 *                                 *

There was a knock at his office door.

It was 8:00 on the dot, so JinYoung knew who it had to be.

"Come in."

Mark walked into the office. He looked absolutely breathtaking.

JinYoung's stomach twisted in a knot at the thought of what he was about to do. Nonetheless, he had to do it.

"I have the papers ready for you," he said as he handed Mark the papers across the desk.

Mark looked down at the envelope.

"I've already wired the money to your account. It's the amount you requested."

Mark looked shaken, but he was able to muster up a slight smile.

"Thank you, JinYoung."

He turned to leave.

"Mark . . . "

"Thank you for taking care of everything so quickly," he said.

"Mark . . . "

"Don't make this any harder . . . please," Mark urged.

JinYoung walked from behind his desk. He stood before Mark, looking into his eyes. He wanted so much to reach out and touch his sweet face, but he knew he no longer had the right to.

"I hope you'll be happy, JinYoung-ah. I really do," Mark said genuinely.

"That would be hoping for too much, I'm afraid," JinYoung smiled unhappily. "Without you . . . "

"I think it's time I went," Mark said. He had to get out of there before his resolve broke. Before he took JinYoung in his arms, never, ever letting him go.

"Goodbye, JinYoung."

JinYoung couldn't speak. If he said 'goodbye', that would be akin to admitting that Mark was leaving for good and that he would never come back. He couldn't do that. He just stood there looking into the eyes of the man he loved. The man he would always love.

"Goodbye," Mark whispered tenderly.

Then he walked away from JinYoung. Out of his office and out of his life.

*                                 *                                 *                                 *                                 *

"We have a couple of hours before we have to leave for the airport, Hyung," YoungJae said. "Are you sure you don't want to go and talk to JinYoung-hyung while there's still time?"

"There's nothing left to say, " Mark answered. "When he passed me those signed papers, that said it all. It's over for him. It's over for both of us."

"Hyung, he only signed those papers because he thought you wanted him to. I'm sure he thought he had no choice," YoungJae argued.

"Recently he always seems to think he has no choice, when the truth is, he can do whatever he wants. He's a grown man, YoungJae. He could have chosen me. He could have chosen us. But he didn't."

"I can't help but think that this is a misunderstanding," YoungJae persisted. "If you leave tonight without talking to him, even if it's only for the last time, I think . . . I think you'll always regret it, Mark-hyung."

Contemplating YoungJae's words, Mark walked to the window and looked out into the night.

*                                 *                                 *                                 *                                 *

At least, she finally knew what was wrong.

It all made sense.

The question that troubled her, the question she simply couldn't get an answer to was: how could he?

How could he, so coldly, do that to his best friend?

MiRa had come to see JinYoung, to bring him some breakfast, virtually on the heels of the departing YoungJae the morning he'd tendered his resignation. JinYoung had looked so upset. Finally, he had admitted to her that his friend from university was leaving. That guy who had been at the engagement party. That YoungJae.

JinYoung's eyes had been red that morning as though he'd been crying. His face was so forlorn; much like when he'd been drinking that time.

That time when Mark had decided to do a disappearing act.

Why didn't I see it? It was so obvious!

Now, she'd found out that Mark, JinYoung's best friend from university, the person closest to him, had suddenly decided he wanted a new life. And he, never giving a thought to JinYoung; he'd just decided that after all these years, after all the time they'd spent building everything together, that he wanted out.

And he didn't spare the least thought for JinYoung! He didn't care at all that he'd be left to run everything alone. He just wanted to go away to try something new.

He must be the most selfish guy she'd ever met.

She didn't care that he wanted a new life, he was an adult. He could do what he wanted. But did everything have to be so rushed? Couldn't he see the toll it was taking on JinYoung?

But, I suppose love is blind.

He left off rooming with JinYoung and moved in with that . . . YoungJae.

Now, YoungJae was going to move away.

And, it seemed pretty clear that Mark was going to go with him.

Ah, young love, she laughed to herself derisively. Love . . . making a person sell out his best friend!

All because he'd fallen in love with this YoungJae person, he was willing to throw his friend, his best friend under the proverbial bus!

He could have, if he'd had the least thought for JinYoung, at least given him a few months to make arrangements and settle things, but no, practically within a week, everything had been over and done with. He'd had papers drawn up and wanted out immediately to follow his new boyfriend to wherever he was off to. And after all JinYoung had done for them both . . .

With friends like that, a person definitely didn't need enemies.

But, it would be okay.

JinYoung didn't need those two so-called friends. He had her.

He could lean on her as much as he wanted. She would be there to love him and to support him.

Her days as a spoiled daddy's girl were over. She was all grown up now. Finally, there was a person she could love, and in her heart she promised herself that she would be a source of reliable, dependable help to him. She would make sure that he didn't suffer any more from this . . . debacle.

She would make sure that he would one day look back on all these dark moments when he'd felt alone and abandoned, and, together, they would both laugh at it all.

Now that the two lovebirds were flying the coop, MiRa would be there to pick up the pieces. She would help JinYoung with everything: at work and at home. She would show him that he could lean on her and they would get through this together.

She was going to help him. She was going to show him that there was at least one person in this world he could count on not to kick him when he was down and that was her.

She, MiRa, was now all that he needed.

And she would do her best to ensure that he would never feel let down again.

*                                 *                                 *                                 *                                 *

He walked up the familiar path to the place he'd called 'home' for years. Now, it felt strange. It didn't feel like it was a part of him anymore, or like he belonged there.

How had everything become so strange in such a short time? Mark wondered. Maybe every day since all this started, he had somehow begun to let go little by little without even having realized it.

Now, this would be the last time they would be together.

He pressed the button outside the lift.

It arrived from the parking garage.

The door opened.

"Oh, hello."

It was MiRa. She looked none to happy to see Mark. And for good reason. The last time she had seen him, she had barely been wearing any clothes. But, he didn't know that she was not only slightly embarrassed, she was also angry. Seething, in fact, at what she thought he had done to JinYoung.

Mark stepped into the elevator. He noticed the button for their floor had already been pressed.

"Are you going to see JinYoung?" she asked, pointedly.

"Um, yes," he replied wondering at her tone.

The ride to their floor seemed to take forever.

Finally the lift arrived and the doors slid open.

They both stepped out.

But before he could take one step in the direction of what was now JinYoung's home, MiRa stopped him.

"Mark, could I just talk to you for a moment?"

Mark turned and looked at her.

"I'm not sure if you know this, but JinYoung's been pretty upset lately. He hasn't really wanted to talk about it, but I think he may say something to me tonight. When I spoke to him earlier he confided in me about the reason for the first time. He told me that you'd sold him your half of the business. He . . . sounded . . . well . . . I guess what I'm trying to say is, he's going to have a lot of stress now that he's going to be running everything alone. I don't know why you saw fit to decide to pick now to have him buy you out. And why it had to be so rushed. It's put all sorts of unnecessary strain on him, hasn't it?"

"I don't think that's any of your business," Mark said, trying not to clench his teeth.

"I think it is," MiRa retorted. "Recently, JinYoung and I have become very close. I'm sure you noticed that morning you came back to collect your papers or whatever. And when he's hurt, it hurts me. I care for him. And even though it's obvious you don't, can't you just leave him in peace? Whatever's been bothering him, I don't think that seeing you under the circumstances will make him feel any better. Do you?"

Mark just stood and stared at MiRa.

That feeling that I had . . . I was right. I don't belong here anymore. What did I really expect to happen if I saw him one last time? I shouldn't have come here.

Mark smiled a heartbroken smile.

"Take care of JinYoung, okay?"

Then, he stepped back into the lift, as MiRa turned and walked to what used to be his and JinYoung's front door. As he rode back down to the ground floor he wiped a single tear from his eye.

Take care, JinYoung.

That night as he looked through the small, square airplane window, with YoungJae seated beside him, the bright lights of Seoul shined in welcome.

This is where his new life, a life without JinYoung, would begin.

                                              T_T                     TT_TT                    :-(

Need some cheering up after that? Then, feel free to read one of my MarkJin one-shots.

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Gif not mine.