Kyungsoo woke up and closed the gap that had formed between Chanyeol and himself sometime during the night to drape an arm across Chanyeol’s chest. This had become somewhat of a routine for the mornings that they spent together during their short end of semester trips and he didn’t see any reason not to do it in his own bed. Waking up next to Chanyeol on a daily basis would take some getting used to but he was looking forward to the days ahead.

“Hey,” Chanyeol greeted, awakened. He lifted an arm so Kyungsoo could settle against his shoulder, both of them reluctant to get out of bed just yet.

“Hey.”

“Do you feel okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not hungover?”

“No, I feel fine,” Kyungsoo said, snuggling closer to Chanyeol. “You don’t smell like vomit anymore.”

“I didn’t think you’d remember. You practically slept through the whole thing.”

“Yeah. I should probably give up on drinking altogether.”

“It’s nice though,” Chanyeol said, wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo.

“What is?”

“It’s nice that you trust me enough to let your guard down.”

And just with that simple statement, the tranquil, loved-up pretense Kyungsoo had been trying to maintain in his head was shattered and he was reminded of the elephant in the room; the elephant that only he knew was there. That unwelcome presence took the form of hazy memories that he could never be sure were real or otherwise, and it subconsciously governed his every move, from the careful façade he put up around Chanyeol to the blurted out invitation into his home that sounded anything but premeditated. Everything was simply a way for him to throw a cloak over that elephant and pretend it wasn’t there.

Maybe it wasn’t. It was almost funny how his trust was something that Chanyeol thought was worth noting when in fact it had been months since Chanyeol became the only person he could trust, certainly more than himself and his faulty memory.

“Taking things a day at a time works well, don’t you think?” Chanyeol said.

Kyungsoo quickly shoved all his thoughts to the back of his mind and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Now everyday can be a holiday without the price tag.”

“Does this mean that we won’t be going on anymore trips?”

“We can if you want to. We should have plenty of time to save up for a trip during the mid-year break.”

“Let’s go overseas,” Kyungsoo suggested, sitting up on the bed in excitement. “Let’s book one of those last minute flights and fly to a country we’ve never heard of without any plans.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Chanyeol said, shifting to rest against the headboard.

“It’ll be fun,” Kyungsoo insisted. “Let’s really take each day as it comes.”

“I’m glad you like my life motto that much.”

“But you don’t practice it yourself. We need to live,” Kyungsoo said animatedly before pausing, noticing the odd mixture of amusement and puzzlement Chanyeol was looking at him with. “What?”

“Are you still drunk?”

“No, I just had a moment of epiphany,” Kyungsoo said, grabbing both of Chanyeol’s hands, regaining his earlier excitement. “Let’s go to a foreign country and start a new life. Let’s change our names. Let’s find jobs and buy a house and get married and have children.”

“Whoa, slow down,” Chanyeol said, chuckling despite himself. “We still need to finish uni.”

“Let’s not think about anything and do everything,” Kyungsoo continued. “Because nothing in life has to make sense, right?”

“We’ve barely spent any time together but you’ve transformed into a very reckless version of me.”

Kyungsoo’s face fell. “You don’t like me anymore?”

“Now there’s my overthinking worrywart,” Chanyeol said, reaching over to give Kyungsoo’s nose a playful tweak. “I feel like we’re moving at double speed. It’s hard to keep up sometimes.”

And the elephant was back, peeking out from under the cloak. Everything had to be rushed, everything had to be done quickly because Kyungsoo didn’t know how long he could keep that elephant out of sight. He didn’t know how long he could keep Chanyeol with him. He didn’t know how long it would be before he couldn’t stand it anymore and he would drag that elephant out to the center stage himself and that would definitely be the end of this relationship that he had grown attached to.

But if the elephant wasn’t there then he had nothing to worry about, right?

“I like it though,” Chanyeol added, misinterpreting Kyungsoo’s silence. “It’s like we’re fast-forwarding to the best parts.”

Kyungsoo nodded and gave him a reassuring smile, mentally grappling to ward off those nebulous memories by trying to find a way to distract himself. “I think we should get you properly moved in.”

“But I feel at home already,” Chanyeol said, lolling against the headboard to prove his point.

“No, I mean your things,” Kyungsoo said, sliding off the bed to walk over to the foot of the bed. “We should get a drawer for your clothes and put it here.”

“A drawer?” Chanyeol asked, pulling the blanket up to wrap himself snugly in it, watching Kyungsoo with interest from the comfort of the bed.

“Or maybe we should get one of those space-saving wardrobes. Then we can put it-” Kyungsoo looked around his cramped room, trying to find an empty spot. He finally gave up and gestured to the foot of the bed again. “-well, here.”

“I don’t mind using a rack, to be honest.”

“But that wouldn’t feel like home.” Kyungsoo stepped over to his wardrobe and slid the door open. “Maybe I should get rid of some of my clothes.”

“That’s not necessary,” Chanyeol said quickly. “I can live out of a suitcase, it’s no big deal.”

Kyungsoo turned around to look at him. “Are you not planning on staying?”

“Of course I’m staying. I don’t have a house anymore,” Chanyeol reminded him. “But you don’t have to change anything just to accommodate me.”

“But I like doing this kind of thing.”

“Oh. Go ahead then.”

“How many shoes do you have? Maybe we should get a new shoe rack.”

“Are we making a shopping list?”

Kyungsoo nodded and clambered back onto the bed to sit beside Chanyeol. “We need a wardrobe, a shoe rack, bed sheets-” he listed, ticking off each item on his fingers. “What else?”

“What do we need new sheets for?”

“Because everything else is mine. We need to make this into your house too.” Kyungsoo paused, thinking. “Maybe we should just get a new bed.”

“I like your tiny bed. It gives me an excuse to cuddle you to sleep.”

“Okay, just new sheets then. We should change the curtains too, and the rugs, the bathroom and kitchen mats-”

“I think we can forget about our mid-year trip,” Chanyeol interrupted. “We’ll be dirt poor once you’re done decorating.”

“I’ll pay for everything. I’ll get a second job.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to do that in third year.”

The elephant wasn’t going to stay hidden with just a cloak, Kyungsoo had to either build a vault and lock it away, or add embellishments to hide it in plain sight. That was what he had been doing for the past few months but the elephant’s core ugliness was difficult to conceal. Maybe getting rid of his old demon would help him get rid of this new one.

Kyungsoo cleared his throat, reluctant to voice his new thought, but he needed a change, a complete makeover, a cleansing, and this was it. “Let’s clear out my dad’s things.”

Chanyeol looked at him, surprised. “You want to sell off his things?”

Kyungsoo hesitated, before pasting a smile on his face and meeting Chanyeol’s eyes. “Yeah. He’s definitely not coming back.”