Jongdae stirred when he heard a thud from somewhere in the house and shifted slightly when he became aware of the loose springs in the couch stabbing through the worn cushion and into his side. Suffice to say that his arm and neck weren’t in the best condition either, owing to his deeply ingrained, borderline neurotic generosity to offer his arm as a pillow even, or rather especially, at his own expense.

In a moment of self-proclaimed ingenuity, the person his arm was now numbly supporting had dragged him out of the comfort of his bed at around midnight the previous day so they could officially legitimize the old couch in the living room as Luhan’s possible future temporary bed, which translated as a heave-hoing trip down memory lane, which translated as impromptu gratuitous in the most uncomfortable spot in existence. He had Tao to thank for sparing his back by barging in on them before they managed to get anywhere and launching into a heartfelt tirade about disgusting people doing disgusting things in public places (and completely missing the irony), followed by a viciously spat “I thought you had more self-respect than this” in Jongdae’s direction, before concluding with a flourish as he stalked to his room and slammed the door shut. That whole event was, surprisingly, enough to flick off Baekhyun’s internal switch. How they ended up sleeping on the couch anyway was beyond Jongdae but apparently made perfect sense to Baekhyun, who was still blissfully asleep despite a second thud, louder this time, followed by a third, and the muffled ringing of a phone. God knew what Tao was doing in his room but Jongdae was happy to give him a wide berth.

It was unexpectedly easy to fall back into this old routine. But then again, it wasn’t like much had changed, besides finding out that his best friend was somewhat unhinged and letting slip that he had feelings for said unhinged friend. The latter was a poorly kept secret anyway, if Jongdae was truly honest with himself, and Baekhyun had probably forgotten all about it after carelessly tossing the matter over his shoulder yesterday morning. Jongdae was well aware that the first warranted a lot more concern than what he was showing, but apart from having less free time as he immersed himself in probing and Baekhyun’s – thankfully – dampened enthusiasm to jump into bed with him all day everyday, things hadn’t been all that different. To some extent, it felt like he had opened a can of worms eight months ago, but nobody said chasing after wriggling invertebrates couldn’t be fun.

Starting the day with a clear head sure felt different, Jongdae thought as he lifted his head from the sagging couch to look through one of the windows in the living room, immediately wincing at how stiff his neck was. It was apparently time to wake up. The new day seemed to be well on its way to a bright afternoon. He shifted closer to Baekhyun to wake him up, but halted when he heard a buzz. He reached for the phone Baekhyun had left on the arm of the chair, apparently in preparation to camp out on the couch the previous night, and settled his head back on the couch when he had taken hold of it.

‘Thank you for subscribing to y Lesbian Chat. To unsubscribe, text STOP. Charges apply.’

Shooting Baekhyun an odd look, Jongdae replied to the text message with ‘stop’. Unless there was something he really didn’t know, the subscription was obviously a mistake.

‘Do you wish to unsubscribe? To confirm, text YES. Charges apply.’

Sighing, Jongdae typed ‘yes’ into the phone and sent it.

‘You don’t have enough credit.’

Well, that went well. Jongdae stopped frowning at the phone when Baekhyun shifted beside him.

“My back feels like ," Baekhyun groaned.

“That’s good. I’ve completely lost feeling in my left arm,” Jongdae said, placing the phone down only to pick it up again when it buzzed with another incoming text.

‘Thank you for subscribing to Xtreme Fun. To unsubscribe, text STOP. Charges apply.’

“While you’re busy snooping, can you tell me what time it is?” Baekhyun asked, adjusting Jongdae’s arm as if he could plump it up, apparently having zero interest in getting off it.

“I didn’t know you’re into lesbians,” Jongdae remarked. “Or is it being fisted by lesbians?”

“Huh?”

Jongdae turned the phone screen towards him. “You’re subscribed to some interesting stuff.”

Baekhyun barely took a glance at the text message before giving a dismissive wave of the hand. “Just delete that. Someone with no life got my number from the notices we put up and obviously thought they'd have fun with it.”

“Thank god I didn’t put mine on them,” Jongdae mumbled, deleting the text, but another quickly took its place.

‘Thank you for subscribing to Wild Blonde Dommes. To unsubscribe, text STOP. Charges apply.’

“Your preferences are getting more specific.”

“Whoever’s doing it will get bored eventually,” Baekhyun said, sounding bored himself as he flung his legs over the edge of the couch to sit up.

Jongdae moved into a sitting position as well, slowly trying to wriggle some sensation back into his left arm. “You sound used to this.”

“Yeah, bored people are aplenty. There’s a whole bunch of them in my contacts list and they all have my number so-” Baekhyun gave an indifferent shrug.

“So you get signed up for someone else’s es,” Jongdae said, taking a glimpse at yet another new text message without bothering to read it through. “This is why you shouldn’t give your contact details to just about anybody.”

Baekhyun stood up and stretched, giving his back a few thumps. Apparently neither of them thought the couch made a good bed. “Someone signed me up for that anonymous hookup site. That one was alright.”

“As in the site where you found all those sickos-” Jongdae halted. “Someone was signing you up for things just before you went through that random bout of depression?”

Baekhyun turned around to frown at him. “I wasn’t depressed.”

“But someone was signing you up for things.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun said, sitting himself back down on the couch. “I think I pissed off my partner for that assignment we had before the break where you ditched me for Chanyeol.”

“Don’t tell me,” Jongdae said, gaping as the pieces came together to form a muddy picture of sorts.

“Huh?”

“Don’t tell me a prank call started everything.”

“What prank call?”

“Some jerkwad made a prank call claiming to be your dad, but by some outrageous coincidence the story they made up struck a chord with you.”

Baekhyun frowned. “I know what my dad sounds like.”

“No, you don’t. You were practically a toddler the last time you saw him,” Jongdae pointed out, before adding in a mumble, “If he actually exists, that is.”

“I’m pretty sure I can’t just casually forget my dad’s voice.”

“You forgot your mum’s name. That’s even worse.”

“Why do you always bring up these things at the oddest times?”

“Because they occur to me at the oddest times.”

“Okay, so some random guy who sounded incredibly like my dad called me up for fun just to curtly tell me that my mum was dying but I shouldn’t even think about coming home. Yes, that sounds plausible. One hundred percent.”

“Maybe it was someone you know. Someone who knows your background.”

“That's so smart. It could even be, you know, my dad,” Baekhyun said blandly, before taking his phone out of Jongdae’s hand just as it buzzed with another text message and heading off to his room, looking somewhat peeved.

Undeterred, Jongdae followed after him. “So let’s assume that that part's true. You got a phone call from your dad, who was so sure that your mum was going to die that he told you not to go to her funeral, and that made you upset. That makes sense, except the bit where your mum’s apparently still alive and well enough to send you snitched Christmas cards.”

“Maybe she had a turn around. Maybe she was never sick, I don’t know. It could be anything.”

“Like a prank call, or a misheard call, or an imaginary call.”

“I spoke to my dad. I know what he said, but I didn’t speak to my mum. Maybe she was on her deathbed when he made that call, maybe he made it of his own accord to cut off all ties with me, or maybe she told him to make that call herself. That’s the part that I don’t know.”

“Say your whole life story is true, and that phone call was in fact from your dad, possibly lying about your mum’s health. That brings us to one very obvious question: where the hell are your parents?”

“Go to the care home, look for my mum, and ask her.”

“I can’t because I don’t know which Sister Mary she is. I’ve called the care home so often the receptionist greets me by name before I can fit a word in, which is more than I can say for you, which brings us to another very grave question: what the hell is wrong with your memory?”

“Nothing, but there’s obviously something wrong with yours.”

“There’s an easy way to sort this out. Let’s ask Chanyeol what happened in first semester.”

“Okay, let's ask him right now,” Baekhyun said, immediately starting to look through the list of contacts on his phone. He was interrupted when the door of the room on the opposite side of the house was suddenly wrenched open. Tao emerged with all his bags in tow, frowning when he caught sight of the other two people in the house.

“Are you going somewhere?” Jongdae asked, watching as Tao carried what was apparently everything he possessed towards the living room.

“I’m done with you lot,” Tao muttered, dumping one of his bags on the couch, before quickly picking it back up and throwing it to the floor instead.

“You mean you’re moving out?”

“Goodbye then,” Baekhyun said, walking into his room as his phone buzzed with yet another text.

“Where are you moving to?” Jongdae asked Tao.

“Anywhere that’s not here.”

“In other words, you don’t know. Maybe you should wait for Luhan to get here. He’s moving in with us so that must mean that there’s an empty room wherever he was staying at.”

Tao frowned. “Luhan?”

“Actually, didn’t he say he was staying with-”

“Did Chanyeol change his number?” Baekhyun asked, stepping back out of his room with his phone in his hand. “I got a weird message when I tried to ring him.”

“What message?” Jongdae asked, but the doorbell rang before Baekhyun could answer. “That must be Luhan.”

“Why is he moving in when there’s only three rooms?” Tao asked.

“Long story,” Jongdae said, walking over to the front door.

“Didn’t you say you’re moving out anyway?” Baekhyun asked.

“We were going to put him on the couch but this works out a lot better,” Jongdae added as he pulled the front door open.

“I need a hand,” Luhan said without preamble, heaving a suitcase past Jongdae before stepping back out of the house again. “I have to get all my bags out of that motel room asap.”

“Motel room?”

“I need all of you. You too,” Luhan added when Tao pointed at himself in incredulity. “Even though I don’t know why you’re here. Where’s Chanyeol? I called him yesterday and he said he’d help me move.”

“Didn’t he tell you that he doesn’t live here anymore?” Jongdae asked.

“You called him?” Baekhyun asked, giving his phone a puzzled look. The phone started ringing in response.

Jongdae turned to look at it. “Why has your phone been extra busy today?”

“Huh,” Baekhyun said simply, seeming to be mildly amused as he turned the phone towards Jongdae so he could read the name written on the screen. “Look who’s calling.”

a/n: This update took a while because I was planning out the rest of the story to make this fic as concise as possible. If everything goes as planned, this will have 36 chapters + possibly an epilogue. Thank you to everybody who reads/subscribes/upvotes/comments! Hopefully you'll stick around until the end <3