Tao rechecked the directions he had scribbled down on a small piece of paper according to what Kyungsoo had told him over the phone, and looked at the street name printed on the metal plate attached to the lamppost in front of him, a frown on his face. Relying on Kyungsoo for directions was probably not the brightest idea, especially when the only thing Tao knew about this area was how to walk from the bus stop right in front of the campus to the lecture theatres, but he had to get out of his new house where he was starting to feel iffy about touching anything and Kyungsoo’s phone call came at just the right time. He took a few tentative steps along the footpath towards the houses closest to the university campus before deciding against it and taking out his phone from his pocket to call Kyungsoo.

“Hello?”

“I can’t find your house,” Tao said, skipping all the niceties.

“Where are you now?”

“The T-junction at the east entrance to campus.”

“Okay, so you should-” There was a long pause as Kyungsoo thought, before apparently giving up. “Wait for me. I’ll meet you there.”

“Sure. See you,” Tao mumbled and hung up. He leaned against the lamppost, belatedly wondering why Kyungsoo had invited him over. He was so eager to jump at the chance to be somewhere else that he had forgotten to ask that basic question. Kyungsoo didn’t bother with explanations either but Tao recognized that as something typical of him after being friends for almost a year. Maybe it was a casual invite since they were both living in the same neighbourhood, maybe Kyungsoo had something planned, or in the best case scenario, maybe Kyungsoo was offering him a place to stay. Tao knew that was incredibly unlikely but there was nothing wrong with keeping his hopes up. He couldn’t comprehend why Kyungsoo was still with Chanyeol anyway, not after all the stories Kyungsoo had told him over the months about a supposedly hypothetical ‘you’. It boggled his mind that they moved in together but to each his own, he supposed.

“Hey.”

Tao snapped out of his thoughts and turned to see Kyungsoo jogging over to where he was. “Hey.”

“My house is just down the road over there,” Kyungsoo said, pointing in the direction that he came from.

“I almost went in the opposite direction,” Tao said, crumpling up the small piece of paper in his hand and shoving it into his pocket along with his phone before starting to walk towards the row of houses across the road. “So what are we doing?”

“Oh, I didn’t tell you, did I?” Kyungsoo said, falling into step beside him. “We’re clearing out some things and we need an extra hand.”

“I guess I’m your standby unpaid muscleman?”

“There’s no heavy work involved. We just have too many things to sort through and we want to get everything over and done with by the end of the day.”

Tao nodded. “I’ll be at your disposal.” Seeing the look Kyungsoo was giving him, he added, “I know you’re taken. We can be friends without me secretly lusting after you.”

“I know,” Kyungsoo said, a slight smile on his face. “I was going to say that you’re nice and we should’ve been friends earlier.”

“Because we all need friends we can use,” Tao mumbled.

“How are you settling in with those two?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Not good. I want to find a different place but I don’t know where to start looking.”

“But they need a housemate.” Kyungsoo paused, looking contemplative. “Maybe you should find someone who’s willing to trade places with you.”

“I still don’t know where to start looking.”

“Why don’t you ask your friends?”

“What friends?”

“The ones that we met a couple of months ago.”

“At the rave?”

Kyungsoo hesitated before shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts. “Yeah, at the rave.”

“Those weren’t my friends. They were friends of friends of friends of random people I friended on Facebook.”

Kyungsoo came to a stop in front of one of the houses, appearing to still be in a pensive mood.

“Is this yours?” Tao asked, gesturing at the house when Kyungsoo made no move to head in.

“What happened on that day?” Kyungsoo asked suddenly.

“Didn’t you make it a point to tell me that day never happened?”

“I can’t remember what’s real and what’s not anymore but I don’t think I can hide it from him forever.” Kyungsoo took a deep breath. “I need to know what happened.”

“Wait,” Tao said, frowning. “Hide what from who?”

“What happened. I can’t hide it from Chanyeol forever.”

“But what happened?” Tao asked, confused.

“I thought you knew?”

“No, I don’t.”

“But you were there.”

“You went off somewhere, remember?”

“I can only remember bits and pieces.”

“And then you came back after a while looking scared less and I couldn’t get you out of there fast enough.”

Kyungsoo paused, turning that over in his mind. “So I did do it.”

“Do what?”

Kyungsoo shook his head. “It’s better if you don’t know.”

“Now you’re making me curious.”

“You really don’t know what happened?”

“No. I just thought that you didn’t like raves or something. I know I didn’t enjoy it.”

“Nobody told you anything?”

“Well, you told me to keep my mouth shut, pretty much, so I assumed you didn’t want anyone to know you went to a rave for whatever reason.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo said, starting to walk slowly towards his front door. “Forget I said anything.”

“You’re so annoying,” Tao said, trailing after him.

Kyungsoo halted. “You don’t want to help me?”

“I’m just saying. If you don’t want anyone to know then don’t bring it up.”

Kyungsoo turned around to face Tao. “What if I did?”

“Did what?”

“Bring it up.”

Tao frowned. “You told Chanyeol your big secret, whatever it is?”

“I didn’t tell him what it is. I just told him I have one.”

Tao looked at him, amazed. “Are you dumb?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, puzzled.

“Why the hell would you tell him that if you don’t want to tell him what it is?”

Kyungsoo hesitated. “To warn him?”

“Warn him of what?”

“That I did something bad.”

Tao sighed. “I honestly couldn’t give a crap less about what you do with your boyfriend, but do you remember when he was minding you and you were so frustrated that you talked to me about it even though we barely knew each other back then?”

“He wasn’t minding me,” Kyungsoo mumbled.

“That’s exactly what you’re doing to him now,” Tao continued. “Warning him, or dropping hints, or giving teasing glimpses, or whatever it is you’re doing is basically minding in its purest form. If you want him to know, then tell it to him. If you don’t, then don’t bring it up at all. It’s that simple.”

“But it’s too early to tell him.”

“Then why did you?”

“Because I can’t keep it hidden anymore.”

“What do you think will happen if you tell him?”

Kyungsoo gave a soft sigh. “He’ll want to break up with me.”

“So what’s the difference if you tell him now or later?”

Kyungsoo seemed to think that over for a while before giving a slight unsure shrug. “I don’t want it to end so soon.”

“Hang on,” Tao said, realization dawning on him. “Did you ask him to move in with you after whatever happened happened?”

Kyungsoo nodded.

“You think he’s going to break up with you if he finds out your dirty secret, so you ask him to move in with you and then drop hints about that secret instead of telling it to him straight so you can drag out your relationship? That’s ed up.”

“What else can I do?”

“Do you actually want to be with him? If I were you, I would’ve dumped his as soon as he started cracking all those ignorant jokes when we went to Carmine Creek.”

“I like him. Of course I want to be with him.”

“Then don’t tell him anything.”

“But I did.”

“You didn’t give him the details. Just make up something that you think won’t affect your relationship as badly.”

“But I don’t want to lie to him.”

“You don’t really have an option if your secret is as severe as you make it out to be.”

Kyungsoo hesitated before sighing and nodding. “I guess you’re right.”