“Fancy,” Baekhyun remarked, picking up one of the plastic wine glasses served on a table by the entrance to the campus bar, which Yixing had booked, in all probability, with Junmyeon’s money. Jongdae grabbed the glass out of his hand and downed everything in one gulp, making Tao, who had no choice but to walk within their vicinity since they were all heading to the same place, grimace at the very image of a bad idea.

 

“I didn’t know you’re a recovering alcoholic,” Baekhyun said as Jongdae handed the empty glass back to him.

 

“No, you’re not supposed to drink.” Jongdae gave a slight shudder. “I think I’m going to regret drinking that horrible cheap wine.”

 

“Why am I not supposed to drink?” Baekhyun asked, walking further into the bar.

 

“Because you’re a predatory drunk,” Tao muttered.

 

“Because Tao doesn’t want you to,” Jongdae said.

 

Baekhyun glanced back at Tao, before returning his gaze to Jongdae. “Huh.”

 

“I think the rest of the guys are at the back,” Jongdae said, craning his neck to look for their group of friends past the crowd of strangers milling about.

 

“Where else would they be,” Baekhyun said, unhesitatingly directing his steps towards the lounge at the back of the bar. As expected, the people they were looking for were seated in one of the booths made up of two L-shaped sofas arranged around a square table. Baekhyun plopped himself down on the nearest empty spot beside Yixing.

 

“Go sit somewhere else, Jongin’s sitting there,” Yixing said, shoving him away.

 

“Nice to see you too,” Baekhyun said, frowning as he got up. “Good to know you’re still as pressed as ever.”

 

“Sit with me. I’m supposed to watch over you,” Jongdae said, taking hold of Baekhyun’s arm to lead him to the empty sofa on the opposite side of the table.

 

“My real mum’s alive so you can stop being a substitute right about now,” Baekhyun muttered, but sat himself down on the end of the empty sofa anyway.

 

“Are the rest not coming?” Tao asked, reluctantly sitting on the opposite end of the sofa.

 

“Chanyeol and Kyungsoo went off to get drinks,” Junmyeon said, lifting the half-empty bottle of garish orange alcopop he had in his hand. “I don’t know about the others.”

 

“The brothers are probably being fashionably late as usual, but god knows where Minseok is, and where the hell is Jongin?” Yixing asked, obviously on the verge of exploding. “He can’t be late to my party.”

 

“What are you celebrating anyway?” Chanyeol asked, walking over to join them with Kyungsoo, both of them with plastic cups of beer in hand. They settled on the sofa adjacent to the one Yixing and Junmyeon were sitting on.

 

“This is a long overdue birthday party, an early Christmas party, and a graduation party rolled into one,” Yixing said, a scowl on his face as he pulled out his phone from his pocket and scrolled through something.

 

“It can be a moving out party too,” Junmyeon suggested.

 

“That’s nothing to celebrate.”

 

“Oh, you’re all here,” a familiar voice exclaimed. All of them turned to see Minseok, Luhan and a typically sullen Sehun approaching them.

 

“Are we late?” Luhan asked, sitting himself down in the empty space beside Tao and tugging Minseok to sit beside him.

 

“Why are you three here together?” Jongdae asked.

 

“Last I remember the two of you were at each other’s throats,” Kyungsoo said, scooting over to let Sehun sit on the end of the sofa.

 

“We were just going through a rough patch,” Minseok said. “We worked it out and now everything’s brilliant again.”

 

“We’re living together now,” Luhan added.

 

“How many years have you been together? Five?” Chanyeol asked, exchanging a knowing smile with Kyungsoo.

 

“We started back from zero, so technically, yes, we’ve been together for almost five years but to us it’s been less than a year.”

 

“Eight months,” Minseok said.

 

Luhan nodded. “Eight months.”

 

“I shouldn’t have asked that,” Chanyeol mumbled quickly as a muddled mixture of horror and hope crossed Kyungsoo’s face.

 

“Has anybody seen Jongin?” Yixing asked, carelessly throwing the phone he had been fiddling with onto the table in front of him. “He doesn’t have a freaking phone and he’s not answering his emails. I don’t even- oh, there he is.” The frown on his face vanished into a smile as soon as he caught sight of a familiar figure among the crowd. He stood up and rushed over to Jongin to fling his arms around his neck and kiss him.

 

“When did that happen?” Jongdae asked. “I thought they were still in the one-sided swooning stage?”

 

“No, they got together,” Junmyeon said, taking a tortured sip of his alcopop.

 

“And then they morphed into Chanyeol and Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun asked, watching as the people in question stood in the middle of the crowd kissing and cuddling without a care in the world.

 

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with expressing your love,” Chanyeol said, receiving nods of agreement from Kyungsoo.

 

“You’ve escalated from PDAs to being mirror images,” Baekhyun said, giving the arms they had around each other’s waists a pointed look. “That’s kind of creepy to say the least.”

 

Both of them took defensive sips of the beers they held in their free hands. “You’re just bitter because you’re doomed to spend a life by your lonesome,” Kyungsoo said.

 

“By choice,” Baekhyun said. “Dating you turned me off dating forever.”

 

“I’m sorry, did I break your heart?” Kyungsoo asked, feigning sympathy.

 

“I think I have just the cure for a broken heart,” a stranger said before Baekhyun could respond. He brazenly sat himself down uninvited beside Baekhyun and offered him a plastic flute of sparkling wine.

 

“Maybe we should get something to drink too,” Luhan said, standing up and pulling Minseok along with him. “Let’s see what they have.”

 

“My heart’s in one piece but I’ll take that,” Baekhyun said, taking the offered drink. “What makes you think I’m a champagne guy?”

 

“Because I’m one,” the stranger said.

 

“Hmm,” Baekhyun said nonchalantly, lifting the glass to his lips, but Jongdae snatched it out of his hand and drained the contents before he could react. Baekhyun frowned. “Are you going to do that all night?”

 

“I can’t afford to pay half the rent,” Jongdae said through gritted teeth, throwing a stiff smile in Tao’s direction.

 

“I think he’s more worried about you right now.” Tao was indeed returning Jongdae’s smile with a look of full on condemnation.

 

“Anyway,” the stranger spoke up, forcing Baekhyun’s attention back on him with a presumptuous hand on his chin. “I was wondering if you remember me.”

 

“I can’t say I do,” Baekhyun said, letting the stranger’s hand linger unnecessarily on his face.

 

“You slept with me two years ago. I still remember it like it was yesterday.”

 

Baekhyun nodded. “I’m known for that.”

 

“What do you say to a replay?”

 

Baekhyun paused, seemingly considering that idea. “Ask me again at the end of the night.”

 

“I will,” the stranger said, standing up. “I’ll get you another drink.”

 

“That’s not a good idea,” Jongdae said, rubbing his forehead as he felt the onset of a headache. “Get us some food if you’re feeling so generous.”

 

The stranger looked at him oddly before giving a slight shake of the head. “I’ll talk to you later,” he said to Baekhyun and walked away.

 

“There are actually people desperate enough to want to sleep with him twice?” Kyungsoo asked in incredulity once the stranger was out of earshot.

 

Tao huffed out his disgust, apparently just as much in disbelief.

 

“Figures that the people who don’t like me are the ones who never slept with me,” Baekhyun said.

 

“I didn’t know you had randos in first year,” Chanyeol said.

 

Baekhyun shrugged. “It might have been in the second half of the year.”

 

“When you were dating me?” Jongdae asked.

 

“No, before that.”

 

“When you were dating me,” Chanyeol said.

 

“No, when I was dating that other guy.”

 

“The druggie,” Jongdae said.

 

“The hippie,” Baekhyun corrected.

 

Jongdae frowned. “So I wasn’t the only person you cheated on.”

 

“Of course not,” Baekhyun said, as if stating the obvious. “I liked him and everything but he was a lousy lay.”

 

“And that’s supposed to make it alright?”

 

“What are we talking about?” Yixing asked, returning to his seat with Jongin, apparently done feeling each other up.

 

“Baekhyun’s infidelities,” Junmyeon said.

 

“So what else is new?” Yixing scoffed.

 

“What are you scoffing about? He cheated on me with you,” Jongdae pointed out.

 

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

 

“Speaking of that,” Baekhyun started, “You never slept with Junmyeon, you didn’t sleep with me, and then you were single for the longest time, so is that another thing you’re celebrating? Did you finally lose the big V?”

 

“What is it with you and your constant shaming?” Kyungsoo asked, drinking the rest of the beer in his cup with an offended gulp before continuing, “Why do other people’s lives matter so much to you?”

 

“I didn’t say it was bad, did I?”

 

“What’s bad?” Minseok asked, placing a tray of miniatures and a few pints of assorted liquor on the table.

 

“Yixing finally lost his ity,” Baekhyun said, reaching for one of the pints. “Where did you get these?”

 

“The back,” Luhan said. “Everything else comes in plastic cups.”

 

“I don’t want to pay for broken glasses,” Junmyeon said.

 

“But that aside, I guess congratulations are in order?” Luhan said, turning to Yixing.

 

“No,” Yixing said, resting his head on Jongin’s shoulder. “I’m still a happy .”

 

“If you don’t want him in your bed, then can I have him in mine?” Baekhyun asked.

 

Yixing frowned. “No.”

 

“I guess our pres really is an A though,” Chanyeol said. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” he quickly added for Kyungsoo’s benefit.

 

“Maybe he’s saving himself for marriage,” Minseok said, settling back into the seat he had vacated after choosing a mini for himself and another for Luhan.

 

“You don’t mind waiting, right?” Yixing said to Jongin.

 

“‘It’s a sign of a noble heart dowered with patience, never to be in a hurry, never to be in a passion,’” Jongin said. “‘Fortune herself rewards waiting with the first prize.’”

 

“Exactly,” Yixing said, puckering his lips for Jongin to plant a kiss on.

 

“I always knew he was a conservative straight girl,” Kyungsoo said, before breaking into a fit of giggles.

 

Yixing frowned at him. “Can you not be so judgmental?”

 

“I’m judging the sage for trying to pass himself off as a ,” Jongdae muttered, taking the bottle Baekhyun was uncapping out of his hands.

 

“You’re not going to drink that all in one go, are you?” Baekhyun asked.

 

“No, I’m going to savour this-” Jongdae squinted at the label on the bottle, “-more likely than not horrible, cheap vodka.”

 

“You’re going to drink it straight?”

 

“Mixers are for wusses.”

 

Baekhyun regarded him contemplatively. “You’re just trying to get hammered, aren’t you?”

 

“‘Deceit rules the roast, and things are judged by their jackets, and many things are other than they seem,’” Jongin said.

 

“You mean this isn’t vodka?” Jongdae asked.

 

“He’s talking to me,” Yixing said, frowning at Jongdae before turning back to Jongin. “Keep going.”

 

“‘A good exterior is the best recommendation of the inner perfection,’” Jongin continued.

 

“And what’s my exterior like?”

 

“Flawless.”

 

“Oh, you,” Yixing said, chuckling as he nuzzled up against Jongin.

 

“That reminds me,” Luhan said. “We’re supposed to find someone for Sehun.”

 

Chanyeol turned to look at the person who was practically burying himself in the sofa beside Kyungsoo. “He’s been so quiet I forgot he was even there.”

 

“I’ll get him out of his shell,” Baekhyun said, getting off his seat and squeezing up to Sehun to fit on the edge of the sofa, sitting facing him with an arm on the backrest. “Hey.”

 

“This is my first time seeing the greasiness firsthand,” Luhan commented.

 

“Oh right, you’re one of the rare people he haven’t hit on,” Jongdae said.

 

“‘Do you want to go somewhere else?’” Kyungsoo mimicked, before bursting into another giggling fit.

 

“Do you-” Baekhyun quickly stopped himself from asking that exact same question and frowned. “What’s wrong with him?”

 

“I think he’s a bit tipsy,” Chanyeol said, giving Kyungsoo’s arm a comforting rub.

 

“From one beer?”

 

“He doesn’t usually drink.”

 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo said, trying to stifle his giggles with a hand over his mouth. “Go on.”

 

“Where were we?” Baekhyun mused, turning back to Sehun. “Don’t you think this place is too loud?”

 

“No,” Sehun said curtly.

 

“Come on, just go home with him,” Luhan called out, making Kyungsoo giggle harder.

 

Baekhyun frowned. “You people are cramping my style.”

 

“What style?” Yixing glanced uncomfortably at Kyungsoo, who was still giggling at apparently nothing. “Are you sure he’s not having a or something?”

 

“No, I can’t stop,” Kyungsoo managed to say between giggles. “This is – tee hee hee! – tiring.”

 

“It’s good to know people are having fun,” Junmyeon said, looking the worse for wear despite nursing the same bottle of alcopop since the party started.

 

“Who’s paying for these drinks anyway?” Luhan asked, reaching for another one of the minis. “Whoever it is is obviously a cheapskate.”

 

“Junmyeon’s paying for everything,” Yixing said.

 

“Drink as much as you want,” Junmyeon said, lifting the bottle in his hand.

 

“Did you just break up or something?” Tao asked. “You look like one of those classic drunks in a bar who’s about half a second away from weeping.”

 

Junmyeon shook his head. “I have everything that I could possibly wish for.”

 

“‘When there is nothing left to desire, there is everything left to fear,’” Jongin said. “‘An unhappy state of happiness.’”

 

“I told him that before,” Yixing said.

 

“I’m too sober to do this,” Baekhyun said, giving up and moving back to his seat, but another stranger blocked his way.

 

“You can start your night with this,” the stranger said, handing Baekhyun a plastic cup, making Jongdae groan in despair as he slammed the half-empty pint of vodka he was drinking on the table.

 

“A mojito in a cup?” Baekhyun asked, taking the offered drink and walking around the stranger to plop himself back down beside Jongdae.

 

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” the stranger said, casually sitting himself down beside Baekhyun. “And you’re all for fresh breaths, aren’t you?”

 

Jongdae took the cup from Baekhyun with a long-suffering sigh, tossed it back, picked a stray mint leaf out of his mouth, and turned to the stranger. “I know you.”

 

“I’m afraid I can’t say the same,” the stranger said, puzzled.

 

“You’re the goodbye kiss rando.”

 

“You mean the one who didn’t get one,” the stranger said, directing his gaze back to Baekhyun. “I’m all freshened up. I think you owe me a goodbye kiss.”

 

“I don’t remember who you are but-” Baekhyun tugged the stranger closer for an amorous, open-mouthed kiss.

 

“Let’s chat amongst ourselves, shall we?” Minseok spoke up. “We still need to find a partner for Sehun.”

 

“I don’t want a partner,” Sehun grumbled.

 

“You want a one-night stand?” Luhan asked. “Then Baekhyun’s the perfect guy for you.”

 

“You mean the guy who’s about to go all the way over there?” Sehun asked, gesturing at Baekhyun who was engaged in an impassioned make out session with his past rando.

 

“Of course.” Seeing the look of incredulity on Sehun’s face, Luhan added, “Or are you looking for a girl?”

 

“No-”

 

“Then are you looking for love?”

 

Sehun frowned. “I’m not looking for anything.”

 

“Who’s single here?” Luhan asked, looking around the group. “Junmyeon?”

 

Junmyeon shook his head. “It’s complicated.”

 

“What about Jongdae?”

 

“I’ll pass,” Jongdae said before giving Baekhyun’s back a hard shove when he bumped into him for the nth time.

 

Baekhyun tore his lips away from the stranger’s and turned around to look at Jongdae, frowning. “What’s your problem?”

 

“Didn’t you say you’re too sober to do this?”

 

“I said I’m too sober to hit on Luhan’s brother. I’d rather hump a wall than do him.”

 

“I’m glad I was better than a wall,” the stranger interrupted, untangling his limbs from Baekhyun’s to get off the sofa. “I’ll see you later.”

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun said absently.

 

“Well, if Baekhyun doesn’t want to do him, then I don’t know who will,” Chanyeol said, glancing at Sehun.

 

“I don’t want anyone to do me,” Sehun muttered.

 

“I can clearly remember you trying to hit on him when we went to that camp in first semester,” Luhan said to Baekhyun.

 

“If he tells me no then he’s just too much effort,” Baekhyun said, giving an indifferent shrug.

 

Luhan sighed. “Who haven’t we considered?”

 

“Tao?” Minseok suggested.

 

“That’s a great suggestion,” Luhan said, interest piqued. “You two probably have a lot in common. Both of you barely said a word this whole time.”

 

“I’m not going out with someone I don’t know,” Tao said.

 

“Okay, both of you go get to know each other,” Luhan said, trying to push Tao off the sofa.

 

“I don’t want to,” Sehun said.

 

“Tao’s a great guy,” Kyungsoo slurred. “I’d date him myself if I could.”

 

Chanyeol looked at him, eyebrows raised. “That’s the first I heard of that.”

 

“You can’t let a supposedly great guy slip away,” Luhan said, walking over to Sehun to pull him to his feet. “Go dance together or something.”

 

“What makes you think I want to dance with him?” Tao asked, settling back on the sofa.

 

“Just go,” Luhan said, pulling him up and pushing the both of them towards the crowded dance floor.

 

“This brings back memories,” Junmyeon murmured quietly, finally finishing his bottle of alcopop.

 

“Why are you being so overdramatic?” Yixing asked.

 

“Oh, that’s right,” Minseok said. “This was the kind of thing that we did for the two of you.”

 

“God knows, you needed a lot of pushing,” Luhan said to Junmyeon, sitting back down on the sofa.

 

“What’s with you two and bringing up things that happened ages ago?” Yixing said, frowning.

 

“Memory is ‘capable of making existence a paradise or an inferno,’” Jongin said.

 

“Exactly. The last thing I need is to be reminded of that fiasco.”

 

“I’m going to go get something to drink,” Junmyeon said, standing up. “Do any of you want anything?”

 

“I think we have the perfect drink for you,” Luhan said, quickly looking through the assortment of miniature liquor bottles on the table before finding a mini whisky and handing it to Junmyeon.

 

“I’ll drink this straight,” Junmyeon said despondently, taking the small bottle from Luhan.

 

“It’s just a shot,” Yixing pointed out.

 

“Occasional theatrics don’t hurt,” Minseok said.

 

“You know you’re overdoing it when Minseok calls you theatrical,” Chanyeol said.

 

“Are the kids progressing?” Luhan asked, turning around to look at the dance floor. He frowned when he caught sight of the two individuals standing stiffly among the crowd of people having fun. “I think they need more pushing,” he said, standing up and pulling Minseok along with him to head to the dance floor.

 

“Parties make me feel lonely,” Junmyeon started a soliloquy, making Yixing look at him with ridicule. “While everybody’s intent on enjoying themselves, I can’t help but wonder if they’ve forgotten about the people right next to them.”

 

“Are you trying to be deep?” Chanyeol asked.

 

“Maybe he’s throwing shade,” Kyungsoo murmured, slouching against Chanyeol, lids heavy as he struggled to keep himself awake.

 

“What he said didn’t make sense, but the way he said it makes me depressed,” Baekhyun said, reaching for the half-empty pint of vodka on the table. Jongdae snatched it before he could and threw his head back to chug it empty, looking like the very epitome of a binge-drinker.

 

“Should we be worried about you?” Chanyeol asked Jongdae.

 

“I think everything he drinks goes to Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun said.

 

Jongdae wiped his lips with the back of one hand before gagging and quickly slapping a palm over his mouth. “I don’t feel too good.”

 

“Go to the bathroom,” Yixing said quickly. “I don’t want to pay extra cleaning fees.”

 

“You mean I don’t,” Junmyeon said.

 

Jongdae stood up, tossed the empty bottle he had in his hand onto the sofa, and tottered away.

 

“Shouldn’t one of us go with him?” Chanyeol asked, gesturing at Baekhyun to move. “I need to watch over Kyungsoo so you go.”

 

“If he can walk, then he can find the bathroom,” Baekhyun said, making no move to leave.

 

“‘Few are the friends of a man’s self, most those of his circumstances,’” Jongin said.

 

“He just called you a ty friend,” Yixing said to Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun shrugged. “Doesn’t bother me.”

 

A wave of confusion stirred through the crowd in the bar when the music was suddenly cut off. Three experimental thumps on a microphone resounded around the place, followed by a drawled “Hey guys.”

 

“Oh no,” Tao said somewhere among the crowd, voice audible in the silence. “I’m getting a really bad case of déjà vu.”

 

“Is everybody having a good time?” Jongdae asked into the microphone at the DJ booth after pushing the confused DJ aside.

 

“What is he doing?” Luhan asked, walking back to join the rest of them. “Is he supposed to give a speech?”

 

“I need to say something,” Jongdae started.

 

“Don’t tell me he’s going to start freestyling,” Yixing said, horrified.

 

“That guy over there,” Jongdae said, pointing at the table where his group of friends were seated. “Everyone knows him, right?”

 

“Yes, everyone knows the host,” Yixing said, loud enough for everybody in the bar to hear. He stood up and gestured for Jongdae to put the microphone down but Jongdae had his eyes fixed on one person.

 

“Byun Baekhyun!” he yelled into the microphone, making it screech in protest.

 

Everybody in the bar turned to look at Baekhyun, and some started blatantly pointing and whispering.

 

“Well this is interesting,” Baekhyun said, leaning back on the sofa.

 

“Everyone knows Baekhyun, right?” Jongdae continued. “Hell, all of you probably slept with him, right?”

 

There were murmurs of agreement from the crowd.

 

“But none of you are stupid enough to go out with him, right?”

 

“I was,” Kyungsoo mumbled with his eyes closed.

 

“So was I,” Chanyeol said reassuringly before giving Baekhyun a pointed look. “Someone should really drag him away from that DJ booth.”

 

“Certainly not twice,” Jongdae said. “And in the same year to boot.”

 

“I want to see what he has to say first,” Baekhyun said, ignoring the urgent stare Chanyeol was giving him.

 

“And I’m sure none of you are stupid enough to be his long term buddy.”

 

“It’s not like I forced him into it,” Baekhyun protested, feeling the glares directed at him increasing in number and intensity.

 

“So I’m the idiot who dated him twice, turned the other cheek when he cheated on me, became his go-to toy, and the icing on the cake-” Jongdae heaved a heavy sigh. “I’m the idiot who fell in love with him.”

 

“What is it with people and airing their dirty laundry in public?” Yixing grumbled.

 

“‘There are hurricanes in human affairs, tempests of passion, when it is wise to retire to a harbour and ride at anchor,’” Jongin said.

 

“And I’ve been in love with him for three whole years, that’s just how stupid I am,” Jongdae said, giving a bitter laugh.

 

“Can you watch over Kyungsoo for a bit?” Chanyeol said to Baekhyun, gently resting Kyungsoo against the back of the sofa, intending to pull Jongdae from the DJ booth before he self-destructed any further.

 

“What happens when you fall in love with someone like that?” Jongdae asked the crowd. “You just watch as your heart gets ripped to shreds on repeat and there’s all you can do about it.”

 

“Why do people fall in love?” Junmyeon sighed into the empty miniature bottle in his hand.

 

“He told me he loves me because of that.”

 

“I never said that,” Baekhyun said.

 

“And then he told me he never said that.”

 

“I swear he’s imagining things,” Baekhyun said, defending himself to the countless faces frowning at him.

 

“He’s ing hallucinating but apparently I’m the crazy one,” Jongdae continued. “But I guess he’s right. What kind of sane person would do what I do and still feel what I feel?”

 

“You’re going to regret this tomorrow, so why don’t you put the mic down,” Chanyeol said levelly to Jongdae, finally managing to break past the crowd gathered in front of the DJ booth.

 

Jongdae paid him no heed. “I ing love you, Byun Baekhyun. It’s about time you-” He halted and puked without warning, to the horror of the crowd, the DJ whose microphone was on the frontline, and Chanyeol, who had the unfortunate luck of standing too close.

 

“That’s it, I’m never throwing a party ever again,” Yixing groaned.

 

“Well that puts us on the blacklist of two DJs,” Junmyeon mumbled, reaching for his wallet.