Luhan shoved the last few bags onto the other bags he had stupidly left in a spot that blocked the motel door, rolling his eyes when a suitcase fell over. He couldn’t bring himself to care enough about a broken thing or two when his whole day had passionately adhered to Murphy’s Law. He kicked the bags aside, biting back a curse when his foot came into contact with a backpack filled with hardcover textbooks at full force. Murphy’s Law was definitely well in place. Limping as he gave the bags a few more tentative pushes, he finally cleared enough space to shut the door.

Luhan exhaled heavily, beyond exhausted. He didn’t remember it being this difficult when he moved to Minseok’s house. He owed his fight for breath in equal parts to having worked his way up and down three flights of stairs and his augmented possessions. It didn’t help matters much that the stairs were narrow and rusty, making him think twice about carrying more than one large bag at a time. Despite its shabby appearance and lack of an elevator, the motel’s nightly rate was far from cheap. His mum would probably scream once she got around to checking his bank statement but what else was he supposed to do? Sleep on the streets?

That aside, the motel room was unexpectedly spacious. Luhan walked over to the double bed and threw himself facedown onto the fluffy covers. The bed was great too, certainly better than the poor excuse of a bed he had been sleeping on for the past six months. He rolled over onto his back and sluggishly reached into his pocket for the house key that Minseok had given him about a week after they made up eight months ago, and flung it across the room towards the small rubbish bin hidden between the chairs and circular table by the window – which was covered with curtains, thankfully. The small key hit the side of the bin and fell onto the carpeted floor.

It was downright comical how merely a few hours ago he had honestly thought that with just a bit of tweaking, there would be something better ahead for Minseok and him. Now the only thing on his mind was the cold hard realization that Minseok was just as annoying as everybody else in his life. He had brought up a really good question during their argument: why were they together? Out of a sense of duty? As a testimony to faithfulness? What kind of person settled down with the first person they met at uni anyway? What were they? Shinglebacks? Even shinglebacks weren’t complete strangers to dalliances.

But did he really want to throw it all away? Especially when he was the one who worked so hard to get them back together eight months ago. But just because he had put a lot in doesn’t mean that he had to stay in a failing relationship. It certainly wasn’t a good reason. It wasn’t even a valid reason. The same way wanting to split the bills was not a good reason to move in together, and having blood ties was not a valid reason to have Sehun on his back all the time. He had made more than a few questionable choices in his life, and he was starting to wonder if getting together with Minseok all those years ago could be one of them.

Luhan pushed himself off the bed and walked over to the window to pick the house key up from the floor and place in on the table. Things hadn’t always been all bad with Minseok, had they? Everything had simply turned ty earlier this year, thanks to a certain someone, and it got tier today for whatever reason. He was vaguely reminded of something Minseok had said eight months ago, something about not knowing what it was that he was trying to fix. That seemed to be an accurate description of their relationship. Luhan certainly had no idea what the hell it was that he just walked away from. ‘Charade’ seemed to be the catchall term, but the word seemed puny and oversimplified.

Was it true that their whole relationship was nothing more than a charade? How did it all even start? Was it with that simple ‘hey, aren’t you in my class?’ back in first year when he ran into Minseok in the clubs and societies building, where after absently engaging in idle chatter, they both came to a halt in front of the Rainbow Alliance room. Luhan had tried to awkwardly laugh it off with ‘I guess we’re both allies,’ which Minseok responded to with an unnecessarily cheerful ‘I’m gay,’ and somehow that turned out to be the subconsciously long-awaited nudge Luhan needed to prod him out of his shabby, hole-ridden closet with a half-whispered ‘so am I.’ He got a bright but airy ‘fantastic!’ in reply and that was that.

Or maybe that was just a first encounter, although it did kick off a close friendship. Maybe what started everything was that nervous kiss at the Rainbow Alliance back to uni party in second semester of first year. He probably tasted like smoked salmon canapés and a mouthful of anxiety but Minseok didn’t push him away, and that was all the answer that he needed. On that note, did he ever verbally ask Minseok out or had it always been a silent, mutually understood thing? Was it mutually understood? Relationships felt like a lost cause to Luhan, what with his earlier years being devoted to desperately patching up the door of his mental closet. He was a shingleback indeed.

Shingleback or not, their relationship was a definite thing. Everybody knew they were together, even people they had simply brushed past at events. He knew they were together, and if all his ‘I love you’s were anything to go by, Minseok certainly knew that they were together too. They had looked like a couple, felt like a couple, and they were a couple. That was beyond question. So when did the charade start, if ever there was one? Wasn’t it completely natural to not be as affectionate after a considerable time together? Maybe he was wrong eight months ago. Maybe they had always been a happy, healthy couple, in which case their problem was as clear-cut as it could possibly be – they were thrown off balance when Sehun came into the picture. It was after Sehun came that Minseok revealed himself to be a nosy parker. Now, with Sehun still in the picture – more intrusive than ever, mind you – Minseok became a major whinger all of a sudden.

Those two made up a duo that he would much rather do without, Luhan thought as he plopped himself down on one of the cushioned chairs and drew the curtain aside to take a peek at the lacklustre view of the parking lot visible through the window. Now if only he could find an affordable way to wash his hands of them. He walked over to the disarray of bags near the door and removed his laptop from one of the smaller bags before returning to the table, flipping open the lid and switching the laptop on along the way. How would one go about making a fresh start? Just where exactly would one begin? After a few minutes of seemingly aimless googling, Luhan came across the university accommodation listings website and found a place that would be perfect for him.