She got into her car and sped off, trying to clear her head of the mess that clouded it. Anger, sadness, disappointment, heartache, regret. She didn't know which to feel more, but anger was a strong emotion at the moment. She floored the accelerator, eating up the roads like a monster on a rampage and the next thing she knew, a traffic officer was hot on her trail.

.

She stopped at the side and lowered the window.

“Miss, are you aware that you were speeding?”

She stared at the officer and nodded.

“Driver's license, please.”

She handed it over, still numb from the fight with Taeyeon.

“Miss Tiffany Hwang,” read the officer. “What's the hurry? You were well above the speed limit.”

“What's the hurry? I don't know. Maybe I just wanted to get away from her place as quickly as possible.”

“Her place? Are you in trouble?”

“Yes. Yes I'm in trouble. I didn't stay when she asked. I told her what she's giving me isn't enough. But she's been trying and I know it. Now all I want to do is drive back and pretend this whole thing never happened. What the heck just happened? I can't believe we fought and broke up like this.” She paused. “Hell, I don't even know if we broke up,” she continued, her tears beginning to fall freely like rain after a dry spell. “Did we break up? Is this the end? . This is so ed up!!!”

“Miss, please calm down,” said the officer. He pulled a packet of tissues from his back pocket and offered her one. “Take it easy.”

“Take it easy? Take it easy?” she was almost yelling now. “I just walked out of my girlfriend's house with all of my stuff! What the was I thinking? Why couldn't I just let it go one more time? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?”

“A s far as I can see, nothing is wrong with you. Here,” he offered her a piece of tissue again, “take it and dry your tears. People are going to think I did something to you if you keep crying like this.” His little joke managed to lighten the inner storm within her a little, and she took a piece, mumbling her thanks.

“Miss...Hwang. If I may just say this: People fight all the time. And you say or do things you don't mean to. You go a little crazy, if you know what I mean. I just had a crazy fight with my wife yesterday and she refused to let me into the bedroom to sleep but she still made breakfast for me this morning. So don't worry. Just go back tomorrow with your stuff and everything will be alright again.”

“Can I? Can I go back after saying all those things?”

“I don't know what you said, but sometimes an apology is all you need to make things right again.”

Tiffany blew her snot into the tissue and sniffed. She didn't think an apology was the solution in her case but she thanked the officer nonetheless.

He smiled and handed her driver's license back. “Your morning is ty enough without me giving you a ticket. Just stay here and calm down before driving home, okay? And drive safe.”

She took her license, feeling more grateful than ever and thanked the officer profusely. He smiled, went back to his bike and rode off, leaving her to wipe her tears dry and calm down.

The officer's words made a lot of sense, but her relationship with Taeyeon was not the typical. What saddened her was the fact that most of the things she'd vented was true. Nothing was going to change. Taeyeon would still be the closed up woman who didn't want to let her in. And one day, Taeyeon might leave her for another. A girl. A girl who could offer the fun and that she wanted. She wasn't that girl. She didn't want to be that girl. She could only be the girl.

And that was the ing problem.

-

“What the hell is wrong with you today.”

She slumped lower on her seat and tried to focus on the loud music blasting through the speakers hung up around the pub they were in. Sunny had insisted on her joining them for drinks, pulling her along before she could make an escape. Trust Sunny to out-ninja her.

“Taeyeon, answer me, damn it.”

“If Taeyeon doesn't want to answer, leave her alone,” said Sooyoung.

“I brought her out to get an answer, not to sit and stare at her sulking away.”

“Give her a break. What she needs is a drink.”

“What she needs is a good shake. Then maybe something inside will be fixed.”

Sunny sounded angry. She was probably angry. With a good reason too.

“Sunny...honey...”

“Taeyeon, what did you do this time?”

Somehow or rather, those words made something snap and she looked up. “What did I do? What do you mean what did I do. I didn't do anything, okay? It's not always my fault. Just because I don't have a history of happy and healthy relationships like you, doesn't mean you can judge me like that.”

“Did you have a fight with Tiffany?”

All the fight in her swooshed out of at the mention of Tiffany's name.

“How bad was the fight?”

She closed her eyes and hung her head.

“Hell. Did you two break up?”

“I don't know,” she answered, her voice flat as a deflated rubber ball left unwanted in a corner.

“What do you mean you don't know.”

“It means exactly what I said.”

“How can you not know.”

“I don't know, okay!”

“What happened?”

“I don't know...”

“What was the fight about? And don't tell me you don't know.”

“I really don't know! I was hung over and she was asking too many questions and I had just woken up and we started yelling at each other.”

“What kind of questions did she ask?”

“She asked if she was the girl.”

“And what did you say?”

“Whatever I said didn't make her happy.”

“What did you say?”

She sighed. “I said she was a girl.”

“A girl.”

She nodded.

“Is she?” asked Sunny. She didn't respond but Sunny didn't take silence for an answer. “Is she?” she asked again.

This time, Taeyeon shook her head.

“Get her back.”

“I tried. But she still wanted to leave.”

“She must have been too angry. I don't believe she would leave you.”

“She said good isn't enough for her. I don't know what that means. If good isn't enough, then what is?”

“I don't know what went down between you two but if you like her, you gotta get her back.”

“She won't take me back.”

“She will.”

“How do you know.”

“She really, really likes you, Taeyeon.”

I know. I ing know it cos she said she loves me. “But she left anyway.”

“Are you sure she wanted to leave?”

“She left, okay. She left even after I asked her not to.”

Sunny fell silent and sat back. She folded her arms and wore a curious smirk.

“What.”

“You asked her to stay?”

Taeyeon shook her head. “That's not what I said.” She waggled her finger. “Nuh uh. I'm not going to tell you what I said.”

“I wasn't going to ask.”

Taeyeon scoffed. She knew Sunny too well to believe her.

“Whatever it was you said isn't the point. The point is, you're gonna regret it if you let this one slip away. And don't say you won't.”

Taeyeon didn't have anything to say to that, so she emptied her mug of beer and kicked back. There were times when the truth made it impossible to say anything else. This was one of those times.

-

“Have you come to tell me your decision?”

“Yes.”

“What is it?”

She heaved a heavy sigh. “No. I won't.”

“Would you like to share your reasons why?”

“Yuri.”

“Would you like to elaborate on that?”

She looked down at her fingers. They were busy picking at skin that didn't need picking. “She made me realize how precious my memories are and how I can't afford to risk them for a race.”

Doctor Seo broke into a wide smile and nodded. “I'm glad you decided not to. Your memories, no matter good or bad, are what makes you who you are and every memory, conscious or not, plays an immeasurable part in your present and future.”

She blinked at Doctor Seo's statement. “But why did you tell me about it if this is how you feel?”

“As a professional, I had to give you all options through an unbiased, objective view point. My job is to point out the possible effects and help you to make an informed decision. But since you have made your choice, I am now able to inject some of my personal opinions on the matter.”

“Looks like I've made the right choice then.”

“You most certainly have, Jessica.”

“But that also means I won't be able to race.”

“Opportunities are around every corner.”

“Not in racing.” She shook her head. “Reputation is very, very important when it comes to racing. If people lose their trust in you to race for a podium position, it's very hard to earn it again. There are also many racers who are younger and have high potential. It's a very competitive market for racers.” She sighed again. “And If I stop racing competitively for too long, I'll lose my touch too.”

“I see. So this is why you were willing to consider doing such a risky procedure to regain your confidence to drive.”

She nodded miserably.

“I know it is always easier to give advice than it is to take them. And at this point, I have to remind you of this because you have done well to listen to your loved ones and maintain a balance in your decision making. Having said that, I will advise you to go one step further and discuss your future plans with your loved ones. Explore more possibilities and seek a new purpose for your future in the short term. I have absolute confidence that you will regain your confidence to drive, and eventually, to race, so you should have a plan for that as well.”

“Do you really think I'll race again?”

Doctor Seo nodded, her eyes gleaming as though they knew. “It is not medically sound to guarantee anything a hundred percent, but I'll venture as far as to say a hundred percent minus one.”

-

“Tiffany, are you feeling alright? You've been really quiet all day.”

“Yeah, are you sick?”

She gave her colleagues a weak smile and shook her head. “I'm not sick or anything.”

“But you don't look too good.”

“I just didn't get enough sleep last night, that's all.”

“Oh poor you. You must have been working all through the night. You should go home and rest. We can finish up here.”

“I can't possibly leave you three here and go.”

To which, the rest of her colleagues protested, “Tiffany, we're totally good here. We'll just wrap up the loose ends. Don't worry.”

“But—”

“No buts. You need to rest. You have no idea how terrible you look. And we can't have you falling sick just before the actual launch, can we?”

Her colleagues were not to be argued with and soon, she found herself on her way home in her car, feeling guilty about leaving. She knew perfectly well why she wasn't her usual self and it wasn't a good reason for leaving work. But to insist on staying would mean she had to explain herself and lie about it.

The drive home didn't take long. She stepped into her apartment, empty and void of life, and dumped her bag on the couch. Contrary to what her colleagues thought, she did not feel any better at home. Her car reminded her of the time Taeyeon ed her on it. Her bedroom reminded her of the time Taeyeon stayed over for the night. Her kitchen reminded her of the time they had breakfast together. Yup. Going home did not help her situation at all. Not when Taeyeon's presence could be felt in every corner of it.

-

coffee date after work?

Yuri stared at the message for a moment before typing hers and sending it.

pick me up at 9

see you soon love

She couldn't help smiling after reading that and couldn't even be angry if she wanted to. Coffee dates were her favourite...

-

“Where are we going today?”

“A coffeehouse.”

“Why are we going to a coffeehouse?”

“I'll tell you when we get there.”

“Okay.”

Hand-in-hand, they arrived at a beautiful café that was two storeys high. It stood alone, and was beautifully covered in vines and lush plants that along the walls on the second floor. Just above the entrance was the name of the café, a piacere, hung on the wall in beautiful cursive, small letter font.

“Er piasiree?” she read with great difficulty.

Jessica giggled and shook her head. “No, no. It's italian. You read it as ah-piah-tcheh-reh.”

“Aah...piaatcheey...reeh?”

She received a kiss on her cheek and a wide smile for her efforts. “Yes. Something like that,” said Jessica.

Once inside, she allowed Jessica to do the ordering. She didn't know much about coffee, other than the Americano, which she found to be rather bitter from a previous experience.

“Why coffee?” she asked, once the waiter had taken their order.

“Because it's good for you.”

“It is?”

“Mhm.”

“But...”

“But?”

“There's caffeine in coffee. Isn't it—”

“I know what you're going to say but you're wrong. Caffeine is actually good for hyperactivity. I spoke to a doctor today. He said caffeine helps to reduce blood flow which reduces over active regions of your brain. It also helps to push your dopamine levels higher and that helps you to focus better. So caffeine actually works differently when you're hyperactive.”

“Wow, you spoke to a doctor today and found out all that?”

“Mhm. You can see him too, if you want. He will help you to understand hyperactivity better, give you suitable medication and monitor your condition. But most importantly, he'll be the one who can certify that you are able to drive.”

Her eyes opened wide. “He can do that?”

“Yes, he can.”

“Oh my God, Sica!” she leapt up in her excitement and enveloped her in arms over the table between them. “I can drive! I can drive!”

“Yes, you can. And you will.”

She pulled back and smiled into her eyes, trying not to cry. “Thank you, Sica,” she said, and planted a kiss right on Jessica's lips. But as soon as she did that, shock drilled through her and she dropped her arms to pull away. “Oh my God. I...I'm sorry. I didn't...”

“Yuri...”

“I'm sorry. I was too excited.”

“Yuri.”

“Uh yes?”

“Don't be sorry.”

“But you—”

“I want you to do it again.”

“What?!”

“Kiss me again.”

“Are you sure?”

She laughed the laugh that she loved so much to see and nodded her head. “Yes, I'm sure. Kiss me again and don't stop too soon.”

Yuri stared as she closed her eyes and waited. She could hardly believe her ears. Jessica had asked her to kiss her on the lips? Again? Did that mean...

“Yuri,” her voice was beginning to sound frustrated, “what are you waiting for.”

“Nothing,” she answered, “nothing.” With that, she leaned towards her and closed her eyes, joining their lips in a soft, gentle kiss. An arm reached around her nape and tugged, pulling her closer as those lips began to part. She could feel the suction as they parted slowly and her lips, wishing for more. It was wonderful. She wanted more. More. More. More.

“Yuri, why did you kiss me?”

A sudden realization hit her as Jessica asked the question and everything fell into place. All the questions she'd had in her mind, all the things she had wondered about each time they went out together, seemingly as friends. With her new found answers, she held Jessica's gaze and grinned. “Why did you ask me to kiss you again?”

Jessica merely smiled. She smiled right back and their eyes sparkled together, each knowing that no answer was required.

-

As she stood before the café in the present, memories of their countless coffee dates came flooding back. Memories were such precious things and if it weren't for recent events, she wouldn't cherish them as much now.

“A piacere...” she said with a smile. She'd once asked Jessica what it meant, during their second or third date as girlfriends. 'To your liking' she was told, 'To taste'. And how apt it was, since this particular café catered to each customer's personal taste with highly customizable coffees. That was when she fully understood why Jessica had chosen this café instead of any other—only at this café could she control the amount of caffeine in her coffee so that it would complement her medication.

“A piacere...” another voice said.

She turned, recognizing the voice and tried not to smile. “Sica.”

“Let's go in and get a coffee. I have something to say to you.”

“Okay.”

-

They sat with their steaming cups of coffee and she waited for Jessica to speak first.

“Yuri, I'm sorry.”

Simple words, yet her heart melted instantly. “About?” she asked, knowing very well what the answer was but needing to hear it from Jessica.

“I've thought about the things I've done ever since we found Krystal and I think I owe you an apology.”

“For?”

Jessica's eyes lowered to the cup of coffee in her hands. “Taking you for granted.” She fiddled with the cup, turning it from side to side as she continued to say, “I decided not to try it. I don't want to risk losing any memory. I don't want to forget you. I want to remember every moment we shared from the time we met up till now. All the good and bad. Everything. So I went and told Doctor Seo I won't be doing it.”

Suddenly, all of her anger dissipated. She didn't need an apology from her. All she wanted was to fix things between them.

“Kiss me,” she said, trying not to smile too much.

Jessica's eyes flew back up to hers, their shared memories connecting them at once, and she smiled. She leaned over the table between them and Yuri found herself leaning forward too. Their lips met somewhere in the middle and pressed against the other, a piacere.

-

She was lying flat on her bed, trying to get some sleep, when she heard the door opening. There was no doubt about who it was, since only one other person had direct access to this apartment, but she was surprised by his visit. Reaching for her robe, she wrapped it around and secured it before making her way out to the living room where he sat, unannounced.

“Paul, what brings you here?”

He looked up at her and she could see that he had something to ask. “Take a seat.”

She sat on the couch adjacent to his and waited.

“Stephanie, I know you won't like this one bit, but I need you to help Denise to win The Roulette.”

-