People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

9^th December 2013

From where Minji and Hwayoung were, they could hear the music that the DJ was spinning underground.

“C’mon let’s go in already!” Minji pulled her excitedly towards the bouncers which stopped them from entering right away. “Our friends are inside.”

“Name?” The bouncer eyed the girl on the right weirdly. She didn’t look like she was here to club with that knee-length dress even though it was hugging her figure.

“Luhan.” Minji said the name proudly and the bouncer stepped away immediately, granting their entrance. But when they reached the end of steps, they had no idea where to head to. They saw a few familiar faces but the club was too big to go around searching for the boys. “Text Luhan! Ask him where is he!”

Pulling out her phone, Hwayoung obeyed obediently. Ironically, she didn’t quite like the environment of such places even though she worked in a place that was messier than this. Before she could dwell on her thoughts further, she received a reply from the male.

[From: Luhan]

Stay right there. I will come and get you.

Within minutes, Luhan appeared looking even better than she last remembered. Dressed in a simple white collared button down with his sleeves folded till his arms, it made him look matured yet so alluring.

“Hey girls!” He flashed them his signature grin before locking eyes with Hwayoung. His manly cologne smell making Hwayoung lightheaded. “This is Lay.”

“Hello. Nice to meet you all.” Lay popped his head behind him before shaking their hands politely, shouting over the loud music as he signalled behind him. “Let’s go.”

Lay led the way towards the dancefloor with Minji hopping behind him excitedly. Being the gentleman he was, Luhan walked before Hwayoung, helping her clear the way as they squeezed pass the crowded dancefloor. He frequently turned to make sure she tagged behind him safely. After lagging behind a few times, Luhan gave up.

“Hold on to me.” He offered his hand to her and when Hwayoung’s hands touched him, she felt the adrenaline surging through her veins to her heart and her cheeks. She secretly thank the club for the dark lightings or she swore everyone could see that blush that was on her face.

It wasn’t helping when he held her hand all the way till they reached the table where his friends were. Hwayoung had to clear her mind and withdraw her hand from his as they took their seats.

“Do you drink?” Chen asked and Hwayoung nodded her head. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Minji and Xiumin chatting and drinking like they had known each other for 10 years and she kind of envied Minji for being so sociable. She is never good with people and she always have problems initiating a conversation.

“You okay?” Luhan asked her halfway through the games and after a few rounds of drinking. The girl didn’t speak much but she would only answer when asked questions. Nodding her head, Hwayoung gave him a faint smile.

“If you can’t drink anymore you can pass it to me.”

Shaking her head, Hwayoung declined his offer. Her liqour tolerance was probably much better than any one of them here. In her workplace, if they didn’t want to provide after service they could choose to accompany the guests to drink upon their request. It was another way to earn extra money in a more decent way so one bottle of hard liqour wasn’t going to knock her out, she had become too good for that. Or rather, she had to. To protect herself.

As she gulped down the bitter liquor, she could see Xiumin and Minji talking to one another with their faces less than an inch apart. She was quite sure her good friend wasn’t in the sober state to give her consent to such close proximity. With her eyebrows furrowed, she disliked how Xiumin was putting his hand on her knee so comfortably.

“I need to go to the toilet.” Hwayoung got up from between Luhan and Chen and walked towards Minji. She needed to drag her away from Xiumin or their skinship would escalate with a few more drinks. “Minji, wanna come?”

“Nope, you go ahead.” Minji replied her half-heartedly before turning back to Xiumin.

“I will accompany you.” Chen smiled and stood up but Hwayoung declined immediately.

“It’s okay, I will just walk you there.” Chen insisted and Luhan eyed his good friend weirdly, knowing his intention. He took a glance at the girl who didn’t look too comfortable with him, he stopped Chen from standing up and he went beside Hwayoung. “I will go with her instead. You stay and look after Tao.”

“Thanks.” Hwayoung thanked Luhan for helping her got rid of Chen. She didn’t like how he kept inching closer to her as he offered drinks after drinks. If she was weaker, she probably would have collapse into his embrace within the the first hour.

“You don’t look like you club.” Luhan held her arm and led her through the crowd, keeping a comfortable distant from her as they made their way back. “Why do you still want to come?”

“How do you know?”

“No one wears this covered to the club.”

“Thanks for telling me that I’m not in an appropriate outfit after what 2hours?” Hwayoung replied sacarstically.

“Do you want to leave? I can send you back.” Luhan offered kindly and Hwayoung nodded her head. She could never get used to staying in such an environment for too long.

“Let me get Minji first.”

However, when they returned, Minji and Xiumin faces were no longer less than an inch apart because they were leaning on each other with their hands interlinked on Xiumin’s lap.

“Minji, shall we leave?” Hwayoung asked worriedly but the girl shook her head, asking her to go ahead without moving away from Xiumin.

“You sure you are alright?” Hwayoung asked again and the girl nodded, getting her hint of wanting to stay.

“Then let’s go.” Luhan led her out of the club and within minutes they were walking down the streets of Seoul, in silence. Hwayoung couldn’t help but to let out the breath that she had been holding unknowingly. The air is so much better out here.

“Your liqour tolerance is good.” Luhan broke the silence, “For a girl.”

Hwayoung gave him a smile, one that never quite reach her eye. She didn’t want to talk about this topic, not at all.

“I guess it’s in the genes.” She stated before changing the topic, “Are you hungry?”

Luhan got her hint and nodded his head. It was too early for him to return home anyway. The couple entered the first roadside stall and started eating and drinking. One bottle of soju increased to two and slowly it became four as they talked about life over drinks continuously. Till the 7^th bottle then the couple decided that they should leave.

Luhan asked, swaying slightly from the alcohol. They flagged a cab from the kerbside and they squeezed into it together. He insisted the cabdriver to drop Hwayoung off before him no matter how much she insisted that she could go back on her own. As they leaned back in the car seat, Luhan asked. “Are you attached?”

Shaking her head, Hwayoug gave her answer and Luhan continued. “How come? You look like those type who would have many suitors!”

“I’m 23 and kind of too young to find ‘the one’ and I don’t want to date for no reason, so I just don’t.” Hwayoung  replied simply because in her purest form, she is never good enough for anyone. She is someone who’s mostly dead inside but still has a little hope for something extraordinary, which, is the worst breed of humans because it means that she knows everything is bull, but that she secretly hope for the day when it might not be.

“Honestly, I don’t need someone that sees what’s good about me. I need someone that sees the bad and still wants me.”

Staring at the girl sitting opposite him, Luhan smiled. Her sentence fit into that one small corner in his heart. He always believed that everyone has a 2am and a 2pm personality. And he is more interested in the monster that everyone becomes at 2am rather than the human being they pretend to be at 2pm. Because that is when everyone unleash their bad side and that is what Luhan crave to be loved for. It was the worst form of him.

“You?” Hwayoung asked.

It was Luhan’s turn to shake his head this time round. Before she could ask him why, his gaze lowered as he continued. “People judge me before they even know me.”

“That’s why I’m better off alone.”

Hwayoung nodded her head, and she smiled back at him. Her cheeks were red from the amount of liqour that Luhan and her drank.  “Well guys who say that many girls are after me should not forget that low prices attract many customers.”

“Just.. love as many as you want. Kiss as many you want. as many as you want.”

“But when you do these things, do it with all of you. Do it because you know it will show you something, help you with something, make sense of things.”

“Never do a task that was assigned by someone else if you are not interested, not comfortable, willing. You can do anything you want to do as long as you know there is only understanding and truth behind it.”

“Never settle, never give in and never do anything that you don’t want to just because you feel bad.”

Hwayoung’s words were still ringing in Luhan’s ears when he struggled to keep himself upright and open the door. It was the the longest reply Hwayoung gave him throughout the night and he cannot forget how the streetlights shone on her face as she recited them like she had memorized them at the back of her head. Just when he shut his front door, the phone in his backpocket vibrated.

[From: Hwayoung]

Thanks for the supper. I’m home, are you?

[To: Hwayoung]

Anytime. I just reached home too. Gonna sleep, you rest early too.

Luhan put away his phone on the nightstand and collapse onto the empty and cold bed. Hwayoung’s sweet yet firm voice was still at the back of his ears, and his lips tuned up a little. All girls continue to be taught when they are young, if not by their parents then by the culture around them, that they must earn the right to be loved – that ‘femaleness’ is not good enough. This is a female’s first lesson in the school of patriarchal thinking and balues.

She must earn love. She is not entitled. She must be good enough to be loved. And good is always defined by someone else, someone on the outside. However, through the things that Hwayoung told her, he felt that she is interesting and she is different.

And he likes that.

Sorry for the lack of updates for this fic because I was having serious author bloc.

I am still having it so I apologize for the lack of flow in this chapter. Tried editing it many times but I still don't like how this chapter turns out. I give up because I just can't seem to make it any better.

Nonetheless, enjoy!