“So, you still keeping this guitar?”

His eyes magnified, “H-how..” and stuttered in a very low voice, still froze on his original place while mind thinking hard of ‘How did she found it?’

“Oh!” She let out an empty chuckle seeing her son that pale, “You must be surprised of how did I found this, right? Well, I found it under your bed when I was cleaning up your messy room. And because of this, now I realize that it seems like you still really into music after all”.

Mrs. Jung turn her eyes to the wooden guitar she held now, flipping it around aimlessly. “Hmm.. I wonder. Are there still any other this kind of stuff out here I might haven’t figure out? Because you hid it very well son. Very well..”

She fake a smile towards her only one son who still thunderstruck of this sudden situation. Not even a sound come out from his gaping mouth while she really waiting for any kind of excuses he would say. Once in a while she would let out a heavy sigh with tears that started to b her eyes.

“I can’t believe you lie to me.. after all this time.. To your eomma..”

“Eomma, I can expla—”

“There’s no need to explain!!” Mrs. Jung shouted loudly, exploding the anger she’d been hold back while her hands instantly throw the guitar hardly to the floor in a swift move. It crashed in a blink of an eye with a loud cracking sound.

“Eoooommmmaaa!! Dooonn’tt!!”

In a state of shock, Yonghwa spontaneously screamed out loud at the quick scene he just saw and run to save the guitar, thinking he could reduce the damage that might occur more to his precious guitar. The only one of his father’s instrument he managed to keep save up until now since that day.

Her son’s shout didn’t stop her from breaking the guitar. Again, she threw the instrument hard to the floor, crashing it more furiously as fat tears started to slid down from her eyes.

“Eomma, please! Please stop! I beg you!” Yonghwa also break into tears, nonstop begging to his mom to stop with trembling lips and shaky yet loud voice while his hands didn’t let go off the now broken guitar. He tried hard to stop his mom’s movement.

“How could you lie to me, Yonghwa?!” Mrs. Jung let out another loud shout, looking straight at her son with boiling anger and dissapointment.

“Why are you still into this damned thing?! Don’t you had enough of your dad leaving us with all of his debt? Don’t you seen enough of your eomma being bullied by those debt collectors everyday? It’s all because of this music thing!”

“I-I’m sorry eomma..! I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to lie to you! B-but I just can’t— I have a dream— “

“What dream?!” She cut the word, “I had enough of what your father did with his music thing! He just gave us a total failure! Don’t you get it, I just want you to be success, my son! And not like him!”

It’s a hard situation for him. Really. As he still sobbing hard and shaky all over his body.

He lift his head, trying to assured his mom once again with the trembling voice.

“I-I really love music. I promise I won’t make it mess with my college. So, plea—“

“Do as you wish! I had enough of this!” Mrs. Jung yelled and throw the last remains of the guitar to the floor, didn’t want to hear the rest words from her son. She then proceed to her room, slamming the door with muffled cries, leaving Yonghwa alone to mourn the loss of his father’s precious guitar. She’s extremely frustated.

Yonghwa gathered the scattered pieces of the wooden guitar on the floor, still crying at the reality that he would never imagine to happen before.

He grabbed one of the wooden piece that has an ‘Hwaiting!’ written on it, engraved by his father back then. Silently thankful that its still there, he caressed it softly. It somehow reminds him all of the time he spent with his father.

The precious time he had back then..

‘It’s like a routine activity for young Yonghwa and his father to spent quality time together on the rooftop every Sunday noon, playing guitar and sing along together. This father and son seemed like so close to each other and had the same interest. Music.

Yonghwa began to found that music is a wonderful thing when he was in elementary school. His father, who is a musician, a guitarist exactly is the main reason why he could drown into the music world just like him. He thought, music really can live the emotion of ourself. We can express our feeling through music. No matter its sad, happy, exciting, everything.

Though its hard, Yonghwa learned how to play guitar step by step. There are times when he injured his own fingers due to his overwhelmed spirit while learning it all night long.

He even ever want to gave up on guitar when he felt that its extremely hard to learn it, because he couldn’t produce such beautiful sounds from it like his father did, whereas he already put all of his effort into it. But he won’t give up that easy. His love for music is so big and because his father is always there, support him up when he’s down, cheer him when he’s tired, motivated him when he’s lost. His father is his biggest source of spirit in his life. He is like a wise father, but also a best bud to him.

Apparently, his father found another potency of his son as he grew up. That he is not only great in guitar, but also he has a blessed voice, made him even excited to teach him more about music. Wanted him to deepen about it more. But, he’s not forcing him. If Yonghwa refuse to learn more, he will be okay as long as its comfort for him. Surprisingly, Yonghwa is more than glad to know about that his father 100% support him in music. He is extremely excited.

“What’s your biggest goal in music, appa?” Yonghwa asked his father out of the blue after their performance ended. Well, he’s so curious about it afterall.

“Hmm..” His father tilted his head playfully as if in a deep thought at the sudden question, trying to find the best answer to impress his only one son. Then he pointed a finger to the clear sky above them.

“To be on  top of the world,”

A smile came across on Yonghwa’s face at the answer as his eyes followed the pointed finger of his father to.

‘Top of the world.. Yeah, I want to dream like that too.

I  want to put this dream of mine to be on top of the world.

One day for sure.. Let’s reach our dream,

Together with you.. Dad’

Until one day, their dream were tested.

Yonghwa’s father took him to see a performance of his hoobae in a music event as a present of his winning on an English Competition in his school.

Yonghwa was extremely happy about it for sure. Along the way, his father keep talking about this hoobae of him they are going to meet. He is a great musician too. A singer to be exact. He wanted to introduce Yonghwa with him, to let him learn about singing more, since he is better.

“But I’m afraid to dream high, appa” Yonghwa responded weakly toward his father talk about their dream.

His father turn at him, smiling gently and ruffled his hair playfully.

“What are you afraid of? Is it a scary thing to dream?” He back to focus on driving then, still smiling, while Yonghwa comb his dishevelled hair with his hand. Pouted.

“Trust your dream, and walk towards it, my son..”

Yonghwa stopped his movement at the phrase he heard just up. It’s somehow magically moved his heart. A genuine smile formed on his lips.

But all of sudden, a big size of truck made a sudden turn ahead in a high speed towards their car. Mr. Jung got shocked at the vision he saw before his eyes and made he spontaneously threw the steer hard to another side, also in a high speed to avoid the truck and other cars chaos ahead. But unexpectedly, another vehicle in a high speed was right behind the truck, aiming their car.

“APPAAAAAAA!!”

Unavoidable, a great accident happened. Their car crashed hard with a van, both driving in a high speed earlier. His father was tried to brake hard, but too late, their gap were too close to avoid.

Yonghwa screamed hard as if his voice is going out from his lung as their car rolled over the road hard several times, and collided with another car around. But then, he can clearly feel someone held him very tight around his body. So, he slightly opened his eyes for some seconds in the midst of the crashed. Blurry, he saw that his father hugged him tightly. Protected him from any great impact that might hurt him with all of his body. Yonghwa found himself froze at the scene with b eyes. He gripped the fabric of his father’s cloth.

‘Appa.. Please, stay with me..’

--------------

Yonghwa’s vision seemed blurry when he finally opened his eyes a bit. Slowly, he saw people running here and there. Slowly, he can also feel a great pain all over his aching body. His head was bleeding hard, his consciousness was also haven’t completely collected. But he realized, that he is laying down on a bed-roller right now.

“Yonghwa? Yonghwa you’re awake?” Yonghwa caught a man’s voice near his ear, asking him whether he’s already awake or not. Just by hearing his shaky voice, he knew that man was extremely worried about him.

That man keep thanking when both of Yonghwa’s eyes finally opened, mean that he’s saved. But another thing came across his mind when he slowly collected his consciousness.

“Appa.. Where’s appa..?”

That man came closer, grabbed him by the hand tight. In this close gap, Yonghwa could see those tears filling up on his eyes, and swiftly flowed down on his cheek. He’s crying. This man is crying hard.

“Yonghwa..” The man grabbed his hand even tigher.

“Y-your father, he.. He didn’t make it.. I’m sorry..”

He froze at the man’s words. Not even a sound came out from his parted lips. Eyes fixed nowhere,  he found both of his eyes flooding with tears in no time. A tear finally drip from one of Yonghwa’s eyes, his lips trembling. Still frozen. This reality felt unreal. He felt like this was all just a dream, a nightmare, and wishing so. But, that man sobbing sound realized him that it is not a dream. It’s real.

“Appa.. Where’s my appa?!” The tears fell uncontrollably on his dirty face now. Trembling all over his body. “He’s not dead! He’s hugging me earlier. I felt it. Now, tell me where is he?!”

Yonghwa stood up forcefully, against all of the pain he felt all over his body. But that man stopped him, asked him not to be like this, because it might hurted him more due to his condition which haven’t completely recover.

But Yonghwa forced hard, pushed anyone who tried to stop him with all the strength he had right now. So, that man gave up on stopping the boy, but help him stood and walked seeing him that desperated to where his father is instead.

Inside a medical van, Yonghwa saw a lying body of a familiar figure. People in a white suit were surrounding him, cleaning all of his bloody body. The closer he stepped, the more his eyes flood with tears. The clearer that man’s figure he saw, the more his body shaking uncontrollably.

One of a man in a white suit aware of their coming, and stopped them before they got closer. But when that earlier man told him that this boy is that man’s son, the white-suited man back off and gave him a way.

Words failed him and tears flowing hard instead as he finally saw the clear figure of his father. His dead body exactly. Blood were all over. Serious wounds also seen there.

His body collapsed at the reality he saw right before his eyes.

He grabbed his father’s arm and shook it hard, “Appa! Wake up! I know you’re not dead. Stop acting!” Tears were unstoppable to stream swiftly down to his cheek as he keep shouting like crazy. His teeth also start to gritted.

“What about our dream?! You promised, remember! We promised, that we will together reach our dream, to be on top of the world. You made that promise with me, appa! Don’t you dare  forget it!”

That man came closer to Yonghwa, grabbed both of his shoulder tight, asked the trembling him to stop.

“Don’t forget it, appa...! Please...” He cried like a kid in a deep of anguish, keep grabbing his father’s hand tight and hit him hard occasionally.

“Please.. Don’t go.. Don’t leave me..”

“Please...”

“Come back...”

--------------

Since the accident, apparently his father left amount of debt as a freelance musician. All the debt collector began to come one by one when the news of his demise has arrived.

Since his mother is only a housewife, she didn’t have any savings to pay all the debts. She was also clueless about the debts her husband has. Since then, almost everyday Yonghwa has to record a horrible scene of his mother being yelled by the debt collecter who came to their home. Almost everytime he had to see those tears flow down on his mom’s cheeks.

Because of this unexpected condition, his mom willy-nilly has to find a job to live and pay all the debts her husband left. She work from the dawn and came home at mid night. She also save some of her salary for her only one son eye’s medical treatment. Yes, Yonghwa got a problem with his eyesight after the accident. His vision got blurry, so he need to use glasses to see better.

Eventually, Mrs. Jung gathered all of her husband instruments and sold them in a low price in order to sell them quicker, get the money and use it to pay the debts.

Not only that, since her husband left her with such a difficult times because of music, her hatred towards music started to boil, she burn all of her husband’s music files and stuffs that couldn’t be sell. She wanted to erase all things of music from her life.

Even from the beginning, she was already not sure about her husband’s choice by making this kind of hobby as his job. Moreover, Mr. Jung only perform on bar stages back then with his indie band, and they even didn’t perform everyday; In other words, he didn’t have enough constant salary to fulfill his family needs. Whereas, Mrs. Jung was trying and hoping so hard for her husband to consider her words to get a better job, like work in a company, so that he will have at least a constant income for the sake of the family.

But in the end, every word that she said was only remain a word. None of them heard by him. He keep assured her that he could managed it all and won’t let his family suffered because of his choice. But the result.. Completely opposite with what he said, what he assured to her all this time.

Not wanting to make the same mistake, Mrs. Jung directed Yonghwa to study hard since that day. She wanted her only one hope to become a treasurer in the future. A success treasurer. That’s the reason why she insisted Yonghwa to enroll to the prestigious K university, and take the accounting major. She asked Yonghwa to stop on doing the music too, that’s why she threw all the things that will remind him about music. She wanted him to get focus on his study, and she willing hard this time she won’t fail.

Meanwhile, she didn’t know that Yonghwa actually managed to save a guitar, the one his father bought to him as a present and a musical notebook from her knowing. Music has been a passion of him, and he’s willing to fulfill his dream on music to be on top of the world, just like what his father used to dream. He wanted to continued his father’s dream. So, to erase music from his life was a complete impossible for him. But to make her mom didn’t figure it out, he had to study well and fulfill what her mom asked him to, enroll the K university.

It was the hardest time in his life when his father gone forever. The number one source of power in his life and the closest friend he could rely onto. Since his gone, Yonghwa still practice his guitar skill in his leisure time in a place he called ‘basecamp’ near his house.

Once in awhile, he would found himself crying at how hard the practice went without his father around, leading him, teaching him, supporting him.

And once in awhile, he would found himself sobbing at how he missed his figure of dad he used to lean everything onto.

He missed him so bad to come back..

So he created a song. A song that he wrote its lyric wholeheartedly all by himself. A song he made with tears. A song that represent of what his heart feel. A song that showed his belief to fulfill his dream.

And he entitled it by..

‘Heart Song’

--------------

The sobbing sound still echoing faintly in the living room. Yonghwa still in his deep reminiscing of his father’s memories. He then clutched the remain pieces of the guitar tightly to his chest. His mind is filled with many complicated thoughts. He really never predicted it would turn out like this. This bad. There have never been any intention for him to break his mom heart that way. He did had enough of the hard time he got back then. Had enough of the heartbreaking scene of his mom being bullied that he never wanted to happen again. But for this situation, he’s just completely lost. Didn’t know what to do, what to choose, what to decide whether he should keep continue his passion, interest and dream in music or..

‘What should I do, appa..?’

‘Should I quit music..?’

‘Should I give up on our dream..?’