My days without you aren’t really that sad

I won’t hear any nagging even if I come home

Late from partying

It’s actually better without you.

The American lady eyed her client critically. The girl was thin and pale – looking like she hadn’t slept in weeks. Not to mention the 6 hefty looking men who came with her each one carrying luggage.  They came in a limousine. Must be some rich family's daughter. Yakuza maybe?

Joo bought the apartment from her own money.  It was a beautiful roof top 3 bedroom loft near Sorbonne. It was a good deal the real estate agent told her. Joo agreed.  This was the 3rd place that she bought just in case - she had to buy another one closer so that her guards would have a place to live.

She made quick friends in school mainly because she couldn’t stand the loneliness of eating lunch by herself.  Her classmates were nice and kind.  This time Joo did not hide who and what she was. There were those found her intriguing but there were also those who outright told her they were glad she had money.

The first time she attended a party she found it so amusing. It was better than sitting home alone having Guard Kang calling her every 2 hours to check if she was alright.

“Guard Kang please tell Guard Park to stop worrying. I just came from a bad break up but I am not suicidal.” Joo shouted.

She came home drunk every weekend which worried her guards to no end. But that was it – only her guards worried about her.  There was no one else. No Taeyeon to have shots with, no Tiffany to giggle with and no Yonghwa to lift her up and put her to bed.

She learned to gauge just how much she could drink before she got really drunk and sleepy. That was her limit. She didn’t want to be drunk then wake up in the early morning that would be hard. Because in the early morning light she would always yearn for a warm back to bury her face in, for arms gathering her close and kissing her. All the while scolding her to drinking too much.

Her life as a student at the Sorbonne began.  She was taking up Arts like she wanted to. Her mother was strangely silent but Joo really didn’t care at this point what he mother thought.

My days without you aren’t pitiful at all

I can eat whatever I want, I don’t have to adjust to your tastes

It’s actually better without you.

Really, hoo woo woo woo woo

Not a single thing has changed

They were headed out to Italy for the semester break. There were 9 of them. Joo didn’t want to be paired up with anyone. She had to bargain with Guard Park about how many guards to take.  She insisted only 2 he wanted 4. In the end they agreed on 3.

It was a fun break they went to all the tourist placed and all the less travelled regions.  Joo learned to love the country side in Europe.  Everything and everyone was so peaceful.

One night while she was watching the boats sail by in Garda, she suddenly thought of him.  He would have loved to see such beautiful scenery.  He loved the water since he was from Busan.

“I wish you were here.” Joo whispers softly, a lump forming in .  She had been him missing so badly. Every couple walking by made her heart ache badly.

When her friends called her to drink she went with them gladly.  That night she was plastered and one of her male classmates had to carry her home.  The guy was very surprised when in the shadows 4 men appeared.  A hefty older man took Joo from him. A younger man thanked him for taking care of Joo and wished him good night.

“Er, that’s alright Joo’s a nice girl.” The young man stammered. “By the way, she been calling someone for a while now. His name is Yong – I think.  Funny thing is that she never finishes dialing the number.”

The next day Joo asks them if she’d done anything funny. The guards had shaken their heads.

Two days later her mother’s secretary told her that Jaejoong had a fatal accident on the freeway. He was dead on arrival while the girl he was with was in serious condition.

Joo calls Taeyeon and couldn’t really understand what her friend was saying because Taeyeon was sobbing too much.

Joo instructed Guard Kang to go to LA and report to her what happened.  She wasn’t ready to face Tiffany or Taeyeon. They were links to Yong. And she was trying to stop from being concerned about him.

Joo told her mother flat out that she would not attend Jaejoong’s funeral in Seoul.  Joo waited for threats and anger but she didn’t get any. Her mother would attend on her behalf.  

That weekend she got an invitation to grace the opening of a Parisian night club.  Joo obliged and even got herself a complete wardrobe. She knew that the paparazzi would be there – she didn’t care and she was supposed to meet the German guy who was supposed to be her date. The guy was getting paid to be there Joo was doing it just for fun.

“Miss Joo please eat something.” Guard Park tells her just before they go to the club.

“I’ll eat in the club.” Joo answers him.

She resisted the urge to snap at her head guard.  She knew that she needed to eat or else she would get a migraine.  But she didn’t care to eat.  She would just eat the finger food that were served in the club. Her eating habits were erratic. Sometimes she ate sometimes she didn’t.  She drank a lot.

She was turning into her mother. But Joo simply did not care. She felt empty. And empty people didn’t care.

I’m really hoo woo woo woo woo

We didn’t even share a deep love

Without you, without you

I can’t even feel that you’re not here

I’m happy even without you

She’d made peace with Tiffany and Taeyeon.  They would visit her in Paris and they would have girl time.  At first they were hesitant to tell her about Yonghwa but in the end Joo was the one who asked about him.

Taeyeon and Tiffany told her that Yonghwa was slowly getting better.  When they told her that he was walking with a cane Joo started sobbing bitterly.

And no matter what they said Joo didn’t want to believe that there was chance for Yonghwa and herself. He was better off without her.  She gave him up willingly. Not because she didn’t love him, she gave him up because she loved him too much. It wasn’t good for either of them.

Taeyeon and Tiffany realized just how grown up their friend had become.  Joo was a lot different from the shy and charming girl they knew in college.  The Joo facing them now was a layered person. Capable of showing many faces to many people.

It was the only way Joo could survive in her world.   

My days without you, they’re not hard at all

There’s no need to go along with our whining or your mood

It’s actually better without you.

Joo stumbled into leather making by chance.  She always came back to Italy every summer. She’d gone to places that were not famous with tourists and she loved it. After 2 years at the Sorbonne she left and went to Italy to become a student at Scuola del Cuoio in Florence.

To get her mother off her back Joo would sometimes attend society functions.  She knew that she needed to these as part of her being heir to the Seo Fortune. 

She’d had 2 broken engagements. She didn’t want to go thru with either