((Before you read: 

 

 

Yeah, I get my electronics taken away during the school year A LOT. So if updates are really slow that's probably why. So sorry guys. 

 

Please don't think I forgot you cause I could never do that. I love you guys too much. 

 

Okay that's it for now, hope you enjoy the chapter. Also if you like it click that vote button thing and leave a comment if you'd like cause I love reading your feedback of the story and such.)) 

 

Xiumin's POV 

 

I pack my clothes into a duffel bag and grab my blades from the small desk next to what used to be mine and Luhan's bed . As I grab all other necessary items of mine I decide I should get going about now. 

 

I probably need message our manager about all this but I'll just do it later. I drive back to my hotel room, silence ringing in my ears as I drive. 

 

When I get back to the hotel and up to my room I mainly just sit in there on the bed, blinds closed all day.  I didn't really do anything, except for a lot of thinking. 

 

I think of how i could have prevented this if I had just remembered our damn anniversary. I feel my phone vibrating next to me on the bed as I receive a message. I check the ID to make sure it's not Luhan and to my relief I see that it was Chen. 

 

'What happened with you and Lu?' I read, grunting at the message from Chen. 

 

I'll have to tell him sooner or later and delaying it won't do any good, so I respond explaining everything that happened between us. I told him about how I drove to the hotel and got a room but left out the self harming part. 

 

He responded with 

 

'Imma call you' 

 

I wait a few moments and receive a call from Chen. 

 

"Hey" I say quietly into the phone. 

 

"Hey sorry to hear about you and Luhan. What are you gonna do about the group?" 

 

I take a deep breath thinking about it. I don't want to leave, it's fun being with the guys all the time, but I also don't want to have to deal with Luhan and him just constantly apologizing and begging for me to come back to him . 

 

"I don't know" I finally answer. 

 

I hear voices coming from the background of Chen's end of the line their Luhan's. 

 

"Let me talk to him" I hear him pleading. 

 

"Don't put him on the phone" I quickly blurt out to Chen. 

 

"Luhan go away for right now" Chen says to Luhan but he refuses. 

 

"No i won't go unless you let me talk to him." 

 

I hear a sigh come from Chen, and noises of the phone moving. By the sound I can tell he gave in and Luhan now has the phone. 

 

"Xiumin?" Luhan questions. 

 

"I don't want to talk to you! You're an . And don't call me that thats not my real name!" I spat at him over the phone. 

 

 

 

 

"You don't mean it Minseok! You're just mad at me but I know no matter how much you hate me you still love me" 

 

"No I don't love you anymore " 

 

"What about our dorm? Where will you live? You can't go back to your dad!" 

 

"I'd rather be with him than with you" I scoff out to Luhan as he pisses me off even more. 

 

"Goodbye" I say and quickly end the call not caring about how Luhan's feeling. 

 

I throw my phone onto the bed and walk out of the room, somewhat slamming the door behind me. I stomp downstairs to the parking lot, where I kept my car. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Then i find the making out with some other ing dude" I hear a drunken me rambling on. 

 

"Wait i didn't know you were gay" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

((sidenote: Don't take this as like a gay thing or anything cause nothing happens between them, their just friends and such so yeah.)) 

 

It's been three months since Luhan and I have broken up. I wander the streets aimlessly in my car looking for a grocery store. I need at least something to drink and a few low calorie foods to stay alive. Which I honestly don't even care if I die from this disease anyways. 

 

I decided to rent an apartment downtown because there's no way I could go back to the dorm. I had talked to the manager and told him I need a break from Exo for a bit and I'll be back soon....hopefully. But I may not return. He wasn't very fond of the idea but whatever, he doesn't know what I've been through. 

 

I drive to my apartment and unload the small amount of groceries I got. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I receive a message from Chen.

 

 'Meet me tomorrow for coffee? We need to discuss some stuff" 

 

I feel myself actually smile for the first time in forever at the fact that Chen at least doesn't hate me for leaving the group. 

 

'Sure I'll be there what time' 

 

'Noon' the response comes quickly after I sent my message. 

 

I throw my phone on the couch and throw myself onto it as well, staring up at the roof above me. No matter how much I hate Luhan at the moment, it all feels so lonely without him. Nothing feels right with him far from me. I was actually recovering from anorexia and not caring at all, but now since he left I've relapsed; badly. But I don't care, he hurt me so I can't be with him after that. 

 

——————————————

 

I walk into the coffee shop to see something that honestly surprises me. I don't see Chen waiting for me but I see Luhan at a table alone instead. It's been three months and he hasn't changed a bit. He half smiles as he see's me which is something I don't return to him. 

 

"Why did you do this to me?" I ask taking a seat across from him. 

 

"Cause this is dragging on too long it's been three months and I'm worried about you" 

 

Why would he be worried about me? He was the one making out with Sehun while he had a boyfriend. 

 

"I saw you walk in and the first thing i realized is how tiny you've gotten. You're also wearing long sleeves and it's hot as outside you've been harming again haven't you? Also when was the last time you actually ate a full meal?" 

 

I think about it and realize its been a while since I've actually eaten more than a few bites of something.