I took my phone out from my pocket, unlocked it and went into my contacts. There are only 2 numbers inside and both of them belong to my parents.

 

I look at the piece of paper Luhan gave me. “And now there’s 3” I said.

 

“What’s 3?” Suzy popped.

 

“You surprised me! I’m still not used with you popping around like that”

 

“What’s 3?” I haven’t answer her yet.

 

“My contact list. There are 3 now”

 

“3? That low? How many did you lose today?”

 

“I didn’t. I gained one”

 

“What? So all this time, there were only 2 contacts?”

 

“My parents’ and now Luhan will soon be in”

 

“What happened to the other numbers? You used to have a lot”

 

“Ever since the incident, I’ve received a lot of hate messages and also threat. I just can’t stand it. So my parents bought me a new phone with a new number and the only people’s numbers I saved are the ones I trusted” it was a dead-end conversation so I decided to change to topic. “Where have you been?”

 

“Oh, I found out that Kris asked you out and you agreed so I went around the shops to look for a heart-winning dress and I found it! Come on, let’s go and buy it now. I’ll show you where”

 

“Are you kidding me?”

 

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” she gave me her most serious face.

 

“I was hoping you were. Anyways, I’m not going to go and buy it because there won’t be a date. I kind of ditched him at the school gate”

 

“Whyyyy??”

 

“Because I’m not ready”

 

“That’s what you always say” she pouted, crossed her arms and disappeared. She didn’t show up until the next day when I was getting ready for school.

 

“How are you going to face Kris at school?” Suzy asked, wandering over my head.

 

“I don’t know. I hope Luhan explained well to Kris. I’ll just avoid Kris until I’ve figured everything out”

 

“And when is that going to be? 5 years from now? Just face your fear”

 

“I am not afraid of Kris. Pfft” I faked a smile.

 

“Then why aren’t you ready to face him yet?” I stopped folding my tie and face Suzy who is now standing in front of me. I opened my mouth to say something smart as a feedback but nothing came out.

 

“I….. I….” great. I’m lost of words. “Why do you think I’m scared to face him?” I asked Suzy.

 

“Because he’s real”

 

“Yeah. So?”

 

“I had spent a lot of time thinking about it. You’re afraid to have 2 Kris in your life. The real Kris might not be even the dream Kris and that’s why you’re trying so hard to avoid him. You’re scared that the real Kris might ruin the image of the dream Kris and so you’re just lying to yourself that only the dream Kris exist by not seeing the real Kris”

 

“That is just absurd”

 

“You know I’m right. Don’t you try to deny my statement”

 

“You are so wrong!” I almost shouted.

 

“A big denial is a disguised yes. I am correct”

 

“Okay fine, you are. Will you stop insisting me to face real Kris now that you know I’m freaked by him” there was a knock on the door.

 

“Who’s there?” asked Suzy.

 

“It’s just Luhan. He’s picking me up to school from now on. He insists on doing so and won’t let me walk to school”

 

“I can’t believe you’re cheating on Kris with Luhan”

 

“I can’t believe you’d think I’m dating Kris. Both real and dream Kris for that matter”

 

“But you like Kris, don’t you?”

 

I sighed “Look, I have to go. Luhan is waiting for me” I took my bag and went for the door. I took one last look at Suzy before I open to door. “Don’t tell Kris that I’m in love with him. I can’t avoid the Kris in my dreams, we’re supposed to be together always”

 

The door opened. “Are you okay?” Luhan peeked inside. “Who were you talking to?”

 

“I was talking with my mom on the phone” I lied. “Did you hear our conversation?” I’m worried he’d hear me saying Kris’ name.

 

“No, I only hear muffled conversation since I’m on the other side of the door. Why did you ask? Should I be listening to the conversation?”

 

“No. Let’s go to school now. Did I make you wait long outside my house?” I quickly distract his thoughts about my lie.

 

“It’s okay. Shall we go inside my car?”

 

“Okay”

 

When we reached the school and came out from the car together, people were staring at us. Everyone were. This is the most awkward day I’ve ever had and it was only the beginning.