Chapter 4

Jaejoong watched her leave, her lose hair falling in waves past her shoulders. He glanced at the retreating figure of Choi Eunbyul, ‘Ugh, Choi.’ He thought, with distaste, ‘What a strange person, too.’

Jaejoong remembered when Yuri told him one day that her aunt & cousin were the only family she had left. How she had never experience life with a father. Yuri’s expression had been so sad, her eyes b with unshed tears. He felt so bad for her, recalling how miserable he had felt as the people he cared about died one after another. This was one of the reasoned Jaejoong never wanted to make too many friends.

Suddenly, he frowned. There was a piece of puzzle missing to Yuri’s story. Jaejoong had a strange feeling that sadness he had felt when he had first met her had nothing to do with not having a dad.

‘I don’t know what happened back there.’ Jaejoong thought confusedly, his mind jumping from one thought to another, ‘I thought I only wanted to see if it would happen but for some reason, I wasn’t all that disappointed when it didn’t.’

He sighed heavily. Why was everything so confusing?

“I still can’t believe how I’m treating her.” Jaejoong said, out loud, “It feels like I’m taking advantage of her, using her to get what I want.”

“Treating who?” A guy asked curiously.

Jaejoong whipped around, “Shim Changmin! Don’t do that!” He yelled, at the laughing young man.

“Treating who?” Changmin asked again, his short, black hair flopping into his brown, almond-shaped eyes, “Oh, no one.” Jaejoong said evasively.

“Don’t lie to me. Who is it?” Changmin peered at his friend with dancing eyes.

“Just...oh, nobody.” Jaejoong muttered, blushing profoundly.

“Tsk, tsk.” He clasps his hand on Jaejoong’s shoulder, “You are a very bad liar. It’s that girl, Kwon Yuri, isn’t it?” He said aloud, “The one I met last time?”

“Changmin!” Jaejoong protested, not too strongly, “You are joking, right?!”

“Ha.” Changmin hooted with laughter, “Kim Jaejoong. The man who had never glanced at a girl in his life. This is great.”

“Oh, shut up.” Jaejoong grinned, punching the other guy lightly.

“Alright, alright. You win. Tell me if you need any advice.” Changmin chuckled, dancing out of reach from another one of Jaejoong’s blows, “I actually came here to find Victoria.”

“Oh, your girlfriend’s in the greenhouse.” Jaejoong told his friend distractedly.

“Ah. The infamous greenhouse. Thanks, man. I will see you later.”

Jaejoong turned, chuckling, back to his beloved plants. He was glad Changmin had such a girlfriend. He liked Victoria. She was cheerful, gentle & always knew what to say. Jaejoong gave himself a pat on the back for introducing her to Changmin. Before that, Changmin had been a player, with a different girl every month. Jaejoong envied him for being so relaxed about girls. They were good friends & had been so for the past eight years but their personalities couldn’t have been more different.

‘You are a very bad liar.’ Changmin’s voice came back to him, said in a teasing tone, ‘Am I?’ Jaejoong mused, ‘I have managed to keep from you all these years the biggest secret of my life.’

*Flashback*

“How dare you desert my daughter?!” A big, beefy man growled, circling Jaejoong with a gun in his hand, “How dare you take advantage of my dear Bitna, then just leave her like that?! I want you to take full responsibility!”

Jaejoong shook with anger, “Mr. Choi, you daughter is a manipulative, lying ! Anyone would leave her.” “Shut up!” Mr. Choi yelled, “My angel would do nothing of the sort! Are you saying my daughter’s lying?!”

“She deserved it!” Jaejoong shouted into the night wind. It had been late in the evening when Mr. Choi had arrived at his house, demanding him to come out.

“Don’t you dare criticize my girl!” Mr. Choi roared, raising his gun, bullet loaded. He was an accomplished gunman & knew that Jaejoong knew it, too.

Jaejoong laughed like a crazy lunatic, “You can’t threaten me with death. Don’t you know?” The laughter died away as Jaejoong’s voice became soft & malicious, “Don’t you understand? I don’t care anymore. I’m alone, can’t you see? Because of your daughter, I lost everything.”

Mr. Choi’s eyes widened, the eyes of a madman, “You...You dare to insult my.” He stuttered, through his fury & rage.

The bullet flew from the gun. It’s aim was true as Jaejoong dropped onto the floor.

Jaejoong remembered the feeling of the bullet burying into his chest. It was a feeling of such agony that he would never forget it. He remembered the searing pain, the blood sprouting from his chest but he also remembered the queer feeling of wild relief. Finally. He would be away from his unloving world. A world filled with nothing but selfishness & hatred but for all the thing he remembered, Jaejoong could never recall what happened next. Until…

Jaejoong opened his eyes to blinding whiteness, “Where am I? Is this heaven? Am I really dead?” He asked, no one in particular, looking around into nothing but white fog.

“Dead?” A voice chimed, “Of course not.”

Jaejoong winced, trying to drown out that sound. The clear, feminine voice was like a pack of howling wolves in the night, “Then where am I?”

He heard a rumbling laugh that shook the earth, “Technically, you should be dead.” Jaejoong dropped to his knee, clamping his hands over his ear to dull that sound that brought tears to his eyes but the voice couldn’t be dampened by mortal hands, “However.” The voice continued, “You are not dead & furthermore, cannot die.” Jaejoong stared, “What? I got shot. How come?” He broke off, staring at his chest. Nothing indicated that not three minutes ago a bullet had pierced his heart. It looked like it always did; no gunshot wound, no blood, “You have way too much hatred in your body. Hatred against your parents for not supporting your decisions, hatred for your fiance, for that man she slept with & the father that tried to kill you. Heaven doesn’t accept people like that. Surely, you don’t want to go to the underworld?” The voice paused. Jaejoong had a feeling that had there been a face to the voice, it would have been scrutinizing him closely.

“You mean hell? Please, no?”

“Yet, you cannot enter heaven. You.” The voice toned down to a gentle whisper, “Must remain on earth.” Jaejoong’s eyes widened as his mind grasped this ridiculous seeming concept, “Remain on earth? For how long?” “Until you learn to love.” The voice said firmly.

“But…”

“Forever, if you have to.”

“I can do that.” Jaejoong was already thinking about heaven, filled with bright, beautiful colors & that wonderful feeling of love, ‘How hard could it be to fall in love anyway?’

“Its not as easy as you think!” The voice warned, as if reading his mind, “True love is a hard thing to find, exceptionally in your case & you must truly love her as she must you! Are you willing?!”

“Will I...Will I change?” Jaejoong asked hesitatingly.

The voice chuckled again, “You will remain the same. Time will stop for you but you only. The world will change. I’m asking you, are you willing?”

Jaejoong paused but the vision of heaven conquered his hatred of the world. He nodded.

“Very well. Once you fall in love, the spell will be broken & you will be mortal once more. In the name of mother flame & father universe, it is done.” The voice chimed.

*End of Flashback*