III

PRINCELY

First it was Sehun and Luhan.

Now, it was Suho and Lay.

Something fishy was going on here.

“They’re being so… friendly to each other…” Jong In whispered.

“Maybe the world is rotating the wrong way on its axis… ” Tao supplied.

“I think the biggest question of all is ‘Yi Xing is actually having a conversation with Joonmyeon?’

Because if I remember correctly, the most Yi Xing could do was speak at least four sentences before his mind flies off to space. By the time his brain gets back, he’s talking about a completely different topic,” Minseok spoke.

The members nodded in agreement.

“I told you guys!” Luhan chirped enthusiastically. “By the end of these twelve days, our hearts will be reborn~”

Gross and No ways filled the air.

“I’m going to keep everything in record too. Look what Sehunnie and I bought.”

Luhan presented a scrapbook.

He opened it to the first page, which was the title page—written on it was “4D IRRATIONALITY.” He had used colorful markers and even placed some stickers all over the page.

“The artistry is by Sehunnie and yours truly.”

“Pssssh. I can do way better than that.” Kris commented.

“Anyway,” Sehun rolled his eyes at the elder, “Lulu hyung and I want to capture each moment of Dyohyung’s craziness, so don’t be surprised if we’ve taken pictures without you guys noticing.

We shall make this the best scrapbook ever. We’re even going to invite Yi Xing hyung and Joonmyeonhyung to help out. We’ll fill it with memories for all to remember, and you’ll see that by the end of each day you guys take care of Dyohyung, you’re going to end up helping in the scrapbook too.”

“Because by that time, you and your partner will no longer be an arguing pair—but be back to loving each other,” Luhan finished.

Yeah, rights and whatevers echoed in the room.

Minseok and Jongdae caught each other’s eye.

They glared at each other and looked away.

It would take a miracle for us to get along like we used to.

The next morning, Jong In, Kris and Tao went out to buy groceries.

It was decided that they couldn’t keep on eating out anymore; the members had to try cooking for themselves. The members were to each have their turn as the days go by; starting with Chan Yeol as today’s cook.

It was a rather lazy day, no one really wanted to go anywhere. As soon as Jong In, Kris and Tao returned from grocery shopping, Chan Yeol proceeded to make some bibimbap for everyone. They found that Chan Yeol was actually quite good at preparing the meal. But no one praised him though, except for Luhan, Sehun, Suho and Lay. The rest weren’t feeling all buddy-buddy just yet; they just nonchalantly thanked him for the meal.

“Where’s Kyungsoo?” Joonmyeon asked.

“Still sleeping in the room,” Jong In answered.

“Someone should wake him up for breakfast.”

“Not me.”

“Who’s assigned?” Luhan inquired.

“Jongdae and I,” Minseok said blankly.

“Then can you two please do it, hyung?” Joonmyeon suggested in a friendly manner.

Jongdae pointedly ignored the suggestion, and just focused on eating like he didn’t hear anything. Minseok scoffed at Jongdae’s obvious sign of not wanting to cooperate.

“Um, hello? Earth to Jongdae? Joonmyeon just asked us to get Kyungsoo, in case you didn’t hear.”

Jongdae put down his spoon in annoyance.

“Um hello? Earth to stunted dwarf—I’m eating here. You do it.”

“Yah! I’m your hyung; don’t disrespect me!” Minseok gritted his teeth.

Jongdae just sneered.

“Oh, sorry hyung. Sometimes I just forget since you’re so vertically challenged. And the fact that your taste in caps is anything but worth respecting.”

“Great, here we go again” Kris rolled his eyes as he continued eating.

Everyone anticipated the argument to come.

Minseok stood up and banged his fists on the table. “Seriously Jongdae? You’re bringing this up now? Can’t you please be less pompous for a single day? You judgmental, camel-dinosaur.”

“You chipmunk-cheeked baozi.”

“Your caps look like you bought it from the trash collector.”

“Well, your caps look like you bought it for your grandpa.”

“Leave him out of this. Your caps are so ugly, I bet saesangs wouldn’t want it even if you gave them out for free.”

“Your caps look like a million hobos spitted, stepped and regurgitated it. A dragon flew by and sneezed on it too. Plus an alien shot it with some kind of laser ray gun thing, and had maggots live in it; but the maggots all died because of your caps’ sheer ugliness!

Then the fairy god mother came by to try and fix your caps with her magic wand. But, guess what? It was too hideous for her magic! So she cursed them instead. But guess what? It was already too hideous for that too!”

Minseok be like

“I would call Tyra Banks, Jennifer Lopez, Nicki Minaj, Pharell Williams, Katy Perry, Jeremy Scott, CL, G-Dragon, Key, Lee Minho and anyone else who knows a thing about fashion, So I could tell you that your caps are out of style, the colors clash, it looks like a pile of donkey poop, it looks like it was used to clean the toilet, like a hundred thousand flies, mosquitoes and cockroaches laid their eggs on it, but all those eggs died because of how horrible-looking your caps were! You’d be the first on the fashion police’s hate-list, since it’s obvious that Pinocchio would never want to be a real boy if the condition was to wear one of your caps. And Jasmine would definitely get divorced with Aladdin if he ever wore it.”

Jongdae growled and got off his seat to attack Minseok; pinning him to the ground.

“Hey; stop it Jongdae!” Joonmyeon tried to pull Jongdae off. “This is ridiculous!”

Jongdae grabbed the collar of Minseok’s shirt and banged his head repeatedly on the floor. The boys were surprised at how violent Jongdae was being. But then again, they did notice loud noises from the Xiuchen room sometimes. They guessed stuff just fell over or something—they didn’t expect a wrestling match. The others were just watching the spectacle, while Joonmyeon, Luhan, Sehun and Lay tried to pry Jongdae off Minseok. Minseok fought back and landed a strong uppercut right at Jongdae’s jaw—sending him tumbling backwards. Then it was Minseok who was above Jongdae.

He raised his fist—prepared to deliver a strong punch that would be a sure knock-out.

Luhan got frightened at the sight since he knew—everyone did, actually—that Minseok was the strongest among all of them.

“Xiumin ge, please don’t!” Luhan begged.

Minseok’s fist only tightened. He moved his elbow further back for a stronger blow. Then he released his punch full force. Jongdae shut his eyes—he knew he’d be getting a black eye, or teeth flying out, or maybe even a broken nose. But right as the punch was just in front of Jongdae’s face, it halted. Jongdae wondered what was taking so long, so hesitantly opened his eyes. He saw the fist right in front of him, and Minseok glaring down at him with what seemed more like pain than anger.

Minseok sighed as he closed his eyes. He retracted his fist and stood up from Jongdae.

“You’re not worth my time or energy. I’m going to go get Kyungsoo. I’ll take care of him myself.”

Minseok left the dining room.

“You chicken!” Jongdae spat.

“Oh shut up, we all know that he could’ve killed you,” Sehun deadpanned.

“Kyungsoo-yah?”

Minseok entered the bedroom.

And there laid Kyungsoo; all snuggled up and soundly sleeping. Minseok almost felt bad for having to wake him up, but of course he didn’t want Kyungsoo to miss out on breakfast either. He thought he’d give Kyungsoo five more minutes.

As he sat down at the edge of the bed, he rubbed his nape; remembering the scene that erupted earlier. No matter how angry he was, he just couldn’t hurt Jongdae; even though he knew he had the upper hand when it came to strength. It was always like this when they argued about their caps. It would get ridiculously out of hand, and Jongdae would lunge at him and start hitting him. But whenever he turned the tables around—whenever he maneuvered the situation so that it was him who could deal the finishing blow…

Minseok just couldn’t. Numerous times, he wondered why.

Jongdae deserved a bruise or two; and Minseok deserved to pummel him to a pulp.

But no—Minseok couldn’t do it. Maybe it was because he was older—that he was too mature to be hitting back. Or maybe it was because he still cared. After all, it was through caps that he and Jongdae got close in the first place. When they realized they both liked collecting caps, there was an instant bond between them. They used to stroll around town together and buy caps for each other—making sure to choose one that suited the other. They used to have nights where they laid down all their caps on the floor of the bedroom—and then they would have a cap stacking contest. Other days when they were in a good mood, a cap fashion show was in order—when they would pretend to be walking down the runway, and they would strike humorous poses with their caps.

Those were the days. They were fun.

But as pressure started building up from Wolf, Growl and Overdose, they hardly had any more bonding moments. Pretty soon, they only ever conversed during schedules. They’ve grown quite distant from each other. Then, what used to be complements turned into insults. Minseok doesn’t know how it started, but seeing his caps became a source of irritation for Jongdae. Out of the blue, Jongdae would just be all like “your caps are the dregs of the earth”, and Minseok would get offended and answer back. What did he ever do to Jongdae anyway? He knew they grew apart after focusing so much on work, but why did Jongdae have to hate his beloved caps? He just didn’t understand; and he was far too irritated to ask for an explanation.

At that moment, he noticed a rustle from the blankets of the bed; Kyungsoo slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes.

“Hey there Soo-yah. Breakfast time.”

Kyungsoo just stared at him for a while.After which, Kyungsoo looked around the room.

“Um… where am I?”

Minseok looked at him in confusion.

“What do you mean, Soo? We’re at our apartment.”

Kyungsoo showed no signs of understanding. His brows furrowed.

“A-apartment? … a-aren’t I in my palace?”

Well, that was unexpected.

“Huh? P-Palace?”

Kyungsoo paled. He nodded weakly. “Umm... Perhaps you don’t know because we’re maybe in some kind of faraway kingdom, but I’m Prince Do Kyungsoo. I rule over the kingdom of plushies. ”

“w-whaaaaaaaaaattt?”

“D-do you mind telling me where I am? Because I’m terribly scared without my teddy bear body guards.”

How could something as cute as teddy bears possibly serve as decent body guards? But anyway, that’s not the issue Minseok! Just go along with it; go with the flow. Think of something!

“O-oh, umm… We’re in the country of EXO. I’m one of the princes here. My name is Minseok—prince of the baozis. There’s actually eleven other princes with me today.”

“Oh.” Kyungsoo bowed as a sign of respect. “It’s nice to meet you, Prince Minseok. How come I’m in your kingdom?”

“I…

I think…

I think that your kingdom was being attacked by gigantic gingerbread men. You know—freshly baked, shaped like people, gumdrop buttons. Awful sight.”

Kyungsoo gasped. “That’s terrible. What will my people do without me? Shouldn’t I go back?”

“umm… no. Your guards told us to keep you here for the time being. They said they wanted to handle the situation on their own, without you getting hurt. And… that they asked help from the Kingdom of… Pretzels. They say fight fire with fire, right? So in this case, fight sweets with sweets; I suppose…”

What am I saying?

“Oh, I see… Ok, then. I do hope things will be alright back at home.” Kyungsoo smiled at Minseok, and bowed to him once more. “Thank you for having me.”

Minseok also bowed in response. “It’s nothing. Make yourself comfortable. Come. Let’s join the other eleven princes for breakfast.”

“Everyone, this is Prince Do Kyungsoo. Ruler of the plushies. He’s staying with me because his kingdom is under attack by gigantic Gingerbread men. Please introduce yourselves to him—if you know what I mean.”

Luhan started clapping and giggling, because this seemed fun. “Hello Kyungsoo-yah. I’m Prince Luhan—ruler of all the flowers in the world.”

Kyungsoo gasped. He bowed to Luhan. “It’s such an honor to be in your presence! I absolutely adore flowers! You must take care of them very well; they’re beautiful.”

Luhan blushed at the complement. “Aww—aren’t you just the sweetest thing. Thank you.”

For the next introductions, Kyungsoo bowed to each one as he listened to the kingdoms they ruled.

“Moving on~ I’m Prince Sehun—ruler of all milk tea.”

“I’m Prince Yi Xing—ruler of the unicorns.”

“I’m Prince Joonmyeon—ruler of medicinal herbs.”

“I’m Prince Tao—ruler of all pandas and Gucci.”

“I’m Prince Yi Fan—ruler of all things in the realm of arts.”

Again Kyungsoo gasped. “I’m a big fan of paintings! You must be quite the artist.”

“Yes; indeed I am. If I have time, I just may let you into my gallery.”

And Tao facepalmed. Kris was referring to all the terrible doodles Tao kept begging him not to hang up in their room.

“I’m Prince Chanyeol—ruler of good teeth.”

“I’m Prince Baekhyun—ruler of eyeliners.”

“I’m Prince Jong In—ruler of chocolate abs.”

Joonmyeon nudged him on the ribs.

“I-I mean chocolate… I rule over chocolate…”

For the third time, Kyungsoo gasped. He gave out a bright heart-shaped smile. “I love chocolate!

You must be a very sweet person Prince Jong In.”

Upon hearing that, Jong In felt a pang in his heart. Because he knew very well that he and the normal Kyungsoo weren’t in good terms as of late. To hear Kyungsoo tell him he was sweet… made him feel a little guilty. Just a little.

“And I’m Prince Jongdae—ruler of all amazingly stylish caps. Sad to say, Baozi boy doesn’t seem to have any.”

Kyungsoo had no idea what he was talking about.

Minseok just rolled his eyes. “Actually, Jongdae is the ruler of all -faced hooligans. Anyway, have a seat Kyungsoo. Prince Chan Yeol prepared bibimbap for us.”

“Oh. This is my first time hearing of such an exotic cuisine.” Kyungsoo took a bite, and his eyes widened. “Wow! That’s good! It tastes really good.”

Hearing such enthusiastic response, Chan Yeol immediately flashed all his sparkly whites—living up to being prince of good teeth. “Thank you, Soo-yah. I’m glad you like it.”

Minseok was giving Kyungsoo a grand tour of their apartment. “And this Prince Kyungsoo, is a television.”

Minseok took the remote and turned the tv on.

“Oh my sweet fluffy muffins! There are people inside your magic box! Are they trapped, Prince Minseok? Will they be ok?”

Minseok chuckled and patted Kyungsoo on the head. “They’re fine Soo-yah. That’s where they live. Shall we watch them?”

Kyungsoo smiled and nodded.

“Yah; you know it’s also your job to take care of Kyungsoo today,” Luhan told Jongdae while he and Sehun were taking secret snapshots of Kyungsoo and Minseok.

“You won’t be seen in our scrapbook~” Joonmyeon teased as he and Lay were talking about what designs to use.

“Like I care about that,” Jongdae huffed in annoyance.

He could see how Minseok was having fun with Kyungsoo—since the latter kept on getting surprised and asking questions about all this exotic-ness in the country of EXO. From refrigerators, to sinks, to the television—Kyungsoo was new to everything that was supposedly part of their everyday lives. And Minseok was having the time of his life explaining everything to the boy.

Jongdae got pissed. He decided to leave the house to cool off.

Because he couldn’t face the throbbing in his chest.

He couldn’t face his feelings.

That should be me you’re laughing with.

Jongdae arrived at the café he used to visit often before they got busy. He used to come here with Minseok, and they’d talk about caps all day long. Lose track of time—but not really care; they were having fun with each other so other things didn’t seem to matter. He ordered his usual—a macchiato and some chocolate chip cookies. The waiter recognized him in an instant.

“Oh! Kim Jongdae-ssi! Long time no see. EXO has become quite popular nowadays.”

“Yeah…” Jongdae said nonchalantly, as he started blankly outside the window; watching people pass by.

The waiter noticed the indifference in Jongdae’s tone. He raised a brow, then quickly left to get Jongdae’s order. He soon came back with a macchiato and a plate of chocolate chips.He set them down on the table, then pulled the seat opposite of Jongdae to sit with him.

“Yah… Don’t you have work?”

“Well, look around. You’re currently the only one here right now. So, I have some time.”

“Oh…” Jongdae noticed it was true.

“So, mind telling me what’s bothering you?”

Jongdae scoffed.

“I’m a messed up guy. I don’t think you can do much to fix that.”

“Well, I can lend a listening ear. That is, if you’re willing to open up to me. If you don’t want to, that’s also alright. But I’m telling you—I’m a very good listener.”

Jongdae managed to smile sincerely at the care he was being given. Reminded him a lot about a certain hyung of his. Jongdae hesitated for a while. But then he decided, maybe it would be ok to share what he was feeling. Though in all honesty, he knew he was going to sound stupid.

“Hey… do you remember the guy I used to come here with?”

“Of course! How could I forget? Minseok, right? That’s why you shouldn’t wonder when girls ship you two together—if they’ve seen you two in this café more than once, then of course an idea for fanfiction would pop out of nowhere.”

“W-well, anyways… You see, we’ve been really busy for a while now.

And, we hadn’t spent much time with each other… I guess I sort of missed him. But I’m not really a mushy guy—you know what I mean? Like, openly telling people I like them, or hugging them and stuff. I do it for fan service, but I’m not really that kind of guy. And… I… don’t know.

I got frustrated when I saw how we were drifting apart. But the words wouldn’t come out. I couldn’t say I miss you hyung. I couldn’t say let’s hang-out again. I couldn’t say come talk to me some time. Then whenever I entered our room, I’d see our caps. We really enjoy collecting those—it was our way of bonding with each other. So it was the hardest thing for me to see his caps.

Because I could remember clearly where he bought that one with me.

Because I could recall how he asked me for advice when he wanted to choose this one.

Because it’s hard to forget that it was me that picked that one out for him.

Then I see my own caps, and the memories flood of how he was always there to enjoy my hobby with me—to share in my happiness. So, I don’t know—I just… I just end up saying the exact opposite if what I want to say.

Instead of saying I miss you hyung,

I say your caps .

Instead of sayinglet’s hang-out again,

I say your caps are garbage.

Instead of saying come talk to me some time,

I say your caps are the most hideous things I’ve ever seen.

Then he of course, gets offended and he answers back at me. It’s not hard to see the hurt in his eyes; not difficult to see the confusion. And again, I do the exact opposite of what I want. Instead of pulling him into a hug; holding him close in my tight embrace— I beat him up.”

“Whoah, dude…”

“And you know what the worst part is? He’s way stronger than me—he’s the strongest among all of us. But he never takes his chance. He never fires back. He would throw a punch or two for self-defense, but when he’s the one on top—when he’s got the upper hand, and I’m waiting for the punishment I deserve—it never comes. He just gets off me. Tells me I’m not worth his time and energy. Then he leaves.”

“Yikes… you are totally messed up.”

“Way to state the obvious, genius,” Jongdae took a sip from his drink, and ate a cookie.

“Well geez, if you know something’s wrong with you; shouldn’t you try to fix it?”

“And how?”

“I don’t know—be honest with him about your feelings?”

And Jongdae spits everything out at the waiter.

“Dude! That’s disgusting!”

“Sorry about that,” Jongdae hands the waiter some tissues from the table. “But are you crazy? Didn’t I just say I wasn’t a mushy type of person?”

“Look, he’s not your girlfriend—being honest isn’t being mushy. Talking to a girlfriend and talking to your best friend are two different things. When it comes to the former, then it’s pretty much being mushy. But when it comes to the latter, I just think you owe the guy an explanation for being mean to him.”

“I-I can’t… I’m not good at conveying my feelings like that…” Jongdae blushed for a while. “I’ve never missed anyone like this before.”

“Then I suppose, you have to practice. Pretend I’m Minseok, and try telling me how you feel.”

Jongdae was hesitant. But he gave in. Because if this was going to help bring back the old days, then he supposes it would be worth it to have Minseok by his side again.

“H-hyung… Omigosh, I don’t even call him hyung anymore… this is so embarrassing.”

“Shut up and get on with it.”

“I…I… To you…

We…

Your caps should be thrown down a volcano for being unearthly ugly.”

And the waiter hits Jongdae’s head.

“Ouch; what was that for?”

“Are you seriously asking me that? Try again!”