✳Lost In Reality✳

she fiddled with her fingers as she sat on the couch in the living room, glancing at the post-it note that was on the wall once in a while. She wasn't completely sure it was real, whether the note was real or whether the moment was but all she knows is that, she has to wait. 

30 minutes ago she was staring at the note, wondering whether it was all a joke. She found some words scribbled on the back and it read "Be back in a while. Call you later" and you don't know how much she wanted to scream and jump around the house but she was just.... Tired.

She crossed her fingers and stared at the phone on the table across of her, mentally telling the phone to ring because she was so eager, so desperate to get a call from her mother. If her mother did call, it would mean the end to all her suffering, her pain and endless crying. It would also mean the end if self destruction.

The phone finally rang after 5 minutes of staring at it. Without checking the caller's ID, she picked it up and was hoping for her mother's voice to appear but to her dismay, another voice, maybe in her thirties, rang through the phone "we are calling from 'Infinite Insurance Company'. Would you like to buy a life insurance? Car insurance? House insurance? Or any type of insurance there is? There will be a 10% discount for those--" 

She hang up. 

She grunt in frustration and held tightly onto the phone. Was there a chance her mother would call? Was she fooled again? The door bell then rang, causing Minah to slightly jump in surprise. No one really rings the doorbell, not even her parents. 

She stood up and slowly approach the door, contemplating whether she should open the door because maybe some serial killer might be outside, a thief or some sort of crime was outside. Nonetheless, she grab the handle and turned it. 

 She was welcomed by a tight hug that almost choke her up "Oh hailey!!!! I missed you so much!!!" Her eyes skyrocketed and returned the hug as tightly back. She knew that voice more then well. The only person that was treated her better than her parents, the only person she missed the most was here right now, tightly hugging her.

"I miss you too aunty christina" she mumble into her aunt's shoulder with a shaky voice, almost tearing up because she missed her so much, so much she was physically sick. Aunt christina pat her back because she knew Minah was getting emotional "let's get inside and talk dear" 

She broke the hug and stare at her aunt. She didn't age in those 10 years at all, she still looks the same. Her round face, shiny brown eyes, sharp pointy nose and her small lips were still there, no freckles or winkles were visible. She felt another presence as she turn to the right. Her mother stood next to her aunt, slightly frowning as she looks over minah's outift. 

A sweater and sweatpants were the most comfortable clothes she ever wore but her mother did little to approve of that. "It's such a disgrace for my daughter-the daughter of someone who is involved in the fashion industry to wear something so hideous and revolting" she remembered the look her mother had on her face and never would she forget that. 

"Hi mother" minah greeted and slightly bowed

"Oh darling" her mother faked a smile and hugged her "i miss you so much" 

Minah mimicked her mother and plastered a smile on her face too, a smile that is used to fool other people that their relationship is perfect.

"Let's get inside and talk. Shall we?" Her mother said after she broke the hug and gesture for aunt christina to enter. 

Aunt christina sat beside Minah's mother while minah is on the opposite side. Her mother and her aunt exchanged greetings and whereabouts while she listen to the elders talking.

"Speaking of which, hailey dear, how have you been lately?" Aunt christina asked "you're so thin now. I remember when you were younger, you used to be so chubby and cute. I've always wanted to pinch your cheeks back then" she laughed at the old memories

"Oh i've been fine aunty" she forced a smile 

Aunt christina is Minah's aunt... Obviously. When minah was a new born baby, Aunt christina has been by her side all along, until she was 6, christina emigrated to america. She left minah at her worst. Christina has been a very supportive aunt and is like her second mother. She would always take care of Minah and treat her like she was her own. 'Hailey' is Minah's nickname, though no one calls her that anymore. 'Hailey' was derive from the word 'Hail'. Since her mother like snow hails so much, Aunt christina decided to give her the name 'Hailey'.

It's been so long since she's been called that and she missed it, alot. She didn't know how a person has such an impact on her. Seeing Christina back, it was such a bliss.

"Chris, how long are you staying?" Her mother finally asked

"Not too long. Maybe 2 days or so" Minah's heart sank "i only came here for a meeting" 

"I see. Do you have a place to stay?" 

"Yeah. At a hotel" 

Christina then stood up after spotting a yellow note on the wall, she walked over and took the note to read it "Stay healthy honey. Mom is gonna be back. Love you" christina couldn't help but grin at their mother and daughter relationship. They were so sweet to one another it made other people envy their relationship. Apparently, not everything is entirely true, everything was a setup for people to think they have a good relationship, but in reality, it's so much worse.

Then she figured.

The note was a setup, a prop to fool her aunt that they are getting along really well while they aren't. She should have known it sooner. Why waste the time to think about it and wait for her mother to call? Of course it was a setup! She knew her mother is more than capable of doing such things. 

There was once when she was 8, her mother bought loads of presents and ordered the maids to place it around the house, where it was noticeable. Minah was so glad, so happy she could get all those presents but soon after, she realize it was only for a show. Her mother friends were coming over and it was just props to show that her mother actually buy presents for her. She received praises from her friends on how a nice and kind mother she was when she was far from that.

Christina's phone rang and she immediately picked it up "Hello? Yes, i've just arrived. My sister picked me up" she glance at minah's mother "sure. now? Oh okay. See you then" 

"Sis. I need to go" 

Her mother nodded in understanding and smiled "go ahead. We'll talk some other day" 

Christina hugged her sister and kissed both sides of her cheeks "see you later" 

"Oh wait. hailey, do you wanna tag along?" Christina asked Minah with hopeful eyes "i'm going to a friend's place and i'm sure you'll get along with their son and daughter. You should make friends" 

Minah was about to decline when her mother nodded towards christina, as if saying she should go "go on minah. You need to socialize" 

Ouch. That hurts. It's not like Minah doesn't want to socialize, it's just that she can't. She can't hold up a conversation without making the atmosphere awkward. She just can't approach people. It's also not her fault on how she is kept in the house without any company, only the dark and the silentness was within her reach. 

"Cool. Let's go" christina dragged minah out of the house and shove her in her mother's car.

✳✳✳

Remind her to not come to gatherings again because it was so suffocating she could collapse. The thick air of vanilla was surrounding her, along with the children running around, people talking, old classical music playing, it made her sick to the throat. Sitting on the couch in the living room, She was again left out in this whole house. The children, who she assumed to be her Aunt's friend grandchildren, were running around the room and making a fuss in it, while her aunt left her alone with the kids to babysit them.

Just when she couldn't take it anymore, she cover feeling a lump in and ran up the stairs to the bathroom. She was never a fan of vanilla.

She rolled out the tissue and wipe with it, making sure there is no trace of vomiting on her. Despite feeling nauseous, she did not manage to throw everything up because there wasn't any. The only thing she intake was water and all she throw up was,you guessed it; water. She stood up from her kneeling position and flush the toilet weakly. She was so exhausted from forcing something out from her body when there isn't any. 

Seeing the reflection on the mirror made her realize why she didn't like herself in the first place. Her weak, pale face shows how worthless she is, her over excessive weight loss shows how fragile she is and compared to other people, she was distinctively different. A bad different. She was about to breakdown, she was at her edge and before things could get any worse, she turn her back to mirror, not wanting to see her own self because it reminds her of how filthy she is.

She threw the tissue she used earlier to the bin next to the sink, not forgetting to splash some water onto her face for energy replenishment. Oh wait, one thing you need to do after vomiting is.... Mint. She threw a few drops of mint that she found on the counter top into , just in case she reeks of vomit.

Opening the door out, she almost had a heart attack as a figure stood just in front of her. The person was in a Similar condition as he jumped in surprise. She knew the person, no i mean, she knows the smell, she smelt it almost everyday and it's just stuck somewhere in her mind. The light yet soothing perfume he wears she remembers more than well

"Mark..." She murmur and lifted her head to eye the figure "it's really you" 

"Minah..?" Mark furrowed his eyebrows "what are you doing here?"

Minah unexpectedly ran into his chest and snake her arms around his waist. She burrowed her face into his chest and bawled her eyes out. She didn't know, she didn't know why she did that but at that moment, she just need someone. She was really exhausted and fragile, nothing was going through her mind, she was just lost.

 "Hey" he mumble into her hair, intaking the smell of lavender "what's wrong" 

She didn't answer but kept sobbing. She didn't even know where to begin about what's going wrong in her life. She tightened her grip around his waist and cuddle further into his chest as if saying "Just be here. Don't say anything" Mark understood as he wrap his arms around her small body and pat her back.

The moment last for a while until a voice rang through the hallway "Kids!! Dinner's-" Mark's mom stopped midway her sentence and gasp after seeing them both "oh was i interrupting something?" 

Thanks to her quick reflexes, she broke free from the hug and she lowered her head and vision to his chest, not wanting  his mom know she was crying. Mark look flustered for a moment as he eye minah then to his mom but soon regain his posture.

"Mom, i can explain" he wave his hands in the air, declining everything his mom was thinking

 "just continue what you're doing" his mom grin playfully "but don't forget dinner's ready" and with that, she disappeared down the stairs.

Mark averted his eyes to minah and seeing her teary eyes that was staring at him made him softened. He rub the nape of his neck and grin sheepishly "umm.. That was my mom and uh... I uh..." 

"Thanks" she mumble after knowing mark was in an awkward state

Mark was taken aback for a moment but soon turned into his playful self "excuse me? I didn't hear that. Please repeat it once more" he moved closer to minah and cover the back of his ears

She didn't know whether he was faking it or did he really not hear it as she raised a brow towards him "seriously?" 

"Yeah can i hear it again?" He grin widely and at that moment, she knew he was faking it. She hit him lightly on his chest and he dramatically wince in pain.

And for the first time in a long while, she smiled.

Author's Note: *Drum rolls* confession time: so first of all, i did thought alot about deleting this story because it feels like no one's actually reading this. i have difficulty to write because i'm afraid it won't be good enough (screw insecurities) and well, some readers wants certain things to happen when i already plan everything, making it more difficult that already seems. fortunately, i came to a conclusion that it would be irresponsible of me as a author to stop my story midway. i would probably feel guilty as of later on too.

Please do leave comments because you guys don't know how much it encourages me to write, you readers are solely the reason why i write. also, please upvote the story for this author because she will hate you if you don't you guys are nice people.. right? :D

Quote of the day: "She was like the moon-part of her was always hidden away."