✳Out Of Mind✳

She was drowning in her thoughts the moment she place her head on her folded arms, she just wanted to lie there and not participate in life. She knew everyone assumed that she was asleep right now but in reality, she was just lying there with eyes shut, thinking.

Her numbness was replace by the touch of someone's finger on her shoulder, the person's voice rang through her ears "class is about to start". The deep voice she knew more than anybody belonged to no other than Mark. He had the warmth and deep voice that pierce right through your soul when you hear it, it was alluring.

No matter how convincing he sounded, she didn't budge. She really, desperately need to just lie down and not care about the world. She was too tired to.

"You seriously aren't waking up?" Another voice rang through her ears. This voice was the complete opposite of Mark's. He had the innocent and gentle voice every girl would love to hear. The voice every girl would enjoy when he lays in bed and cuddle with you. It was oddly mesmerizing. 

Now she figured she was getting kinda crazy here because she's literally just contrasting the voice of Luhan's and Mark's. She wasn't anywhere near being called a psychopath nor maniac, she wasn't stalker-ish enough to be considered as a fan girl. So why is she being so attached to both of them?

"I'm gonna kiss you if you don't" the same innocent and gentle voice break the train of her thoughts. Was she really going to conspire with the threat? She lifted up her head without the intention of acceding luhan's threat but it came out wrong

"You did listen to me after all" he chuckle which flustered her abit. She didn't woke up for the intention of listening to luhan's, she was and never will be anyone's puppet. She learnt that she used to be her parent's puppet but not anymore, she was her own self now. 

"I didn't" she stated in the voice of ice cold. Her attention wasn't even on luhan's,  it was on the board but he knew, it was meant for him.

"Ahh so silent beauty can speak after all" he teased and at the corner of her eyes, she could see Mark's uneasy expression. She would be lying if she said didn't felt strange seeing the Mark's expression.

She sat there, quietly staring at the whiteboard without returning any words to luhan. She knew more than well to not associate herself with people but she did it again. She hated herself so much at that moment, she wanted to rip herself into pieces and to scream at herself that she will be in depth if she keeps it going on. 

But she didn't. 

She exhaled and shut her eyes, trying to calm herself down for the first time ever, Not wanting to break down in front of these people. It definitely was a huge change.

The noise in the room quiet down when knocking on the door was heard. It must be the teacher.

"Good morning guys~~" the teacher said in a sing a song voice as soon as she enter class. Oh how she wish she could be this optimistic as her teacher...

"Have you guys done the assignment?" She ask after she settle her papers down "i hope you do" 

Minah stiffened abit at the mention of the assignment. She didn't know whether the essay would meet the teacher's expectation, she didn't know whether it was good enough, she didn't know whether it would satisfy the teacher- all thoughts were dismissed when she unknowing hand the paper to the teacher who stood in front of her.

She was honestly scared, scared that her essay would not fulfill the teacher's satisfaction. The teacher gave her a knowing smile and averted her eyes to Minah's paper, she gave a short scan on the paper, making sure Minah's work was nicely written when the first line caught her attention. The teacher widen her eyes a bit but soon went to it's original size. Minah was at fear for a moment, she was waiting for what to come next, for the teacher to scold her for being such a nuisance, for being so delusional and childish, but it never came.

The teacher glance at minah then back to the paper, she was surprised by that but gave minah an encouraging smile. The tension was relieved a bit.

During the whole time, Mark and luhan was eyeing Minah and the teacher. They knew something was off with her essay but neither of them asked. They knew they weren't in the place to question her. 

"Mork, what did you write in your essay?" Luhan asked while packing his materials into his bag since class was over. He glance at Mark to make sure he was listening "what's the bravest thing you did?" 

"What did you just call me?" Mark asked bewildered "Mork? Really?" 

"Or do you prefer tuna? Because you know, tuan and tuna...." 

"Ahaha. Very funny" Mark said full of sarcasm "lu deer" 

"I know it's funny" he chuckled the sarcasm but soon realize what mark called "lu what?!" 

"Lu.deer"  Mark emphasized each word to allow those words seep through luhan's mind

"I'm not the only who thinks luhan names mean deer" minah said to herself, being in the midst of the childish fight was actually quite entertaining. She found herself just sitting in her seat, staring at the nothingness but ears perked up to hear those remarks those two were giving one another. They probably didn't notice minah as there as they continued

"Wait... You know chinese?" Luhan gasp

Mark rolled his eyes "isn't it obvious? 'Tuan' Does it make sense now?" 

"Ohhhhh" luhan mouth formed an O and chuckle light heartedly "my brain probably wasn't working" 

She had to admit, luhan doesn't seem as bad as the vibe he gives off. He actually is more of the cute type, rather than the cocky one. His laughter is indulging. 

Minah was losing it. She was losing her mind. She was now thinking about something she wasn't supposed to. Again. She didn't know why, she wanted to but there was no answer. All she know is she had to keep her distance away from those people if she wants to have her shield up high. They were slowing breaking it down.

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She walk through the hallway with the feeling of emptiness again. The house was once again accommodate only by her. It felt as though she was living in this world alone, without her parents, it really felt that way.

She stop her tracks when she saw a post-it note on the right side wall, just a few feet away from her room. She took the note and read it. Eyes widen as astonishment wash over her body. She shook her head, trying to convince herself this wasn't reality. This is all a dream but no matter how hard she tried to denied i, it was real. She suddenly felt the urge to cry. Her hands trembled as she crumble the paper in her hands

"Stay healthy honey. Mom is gonna be back. Love you" 

Could it be the end of her suffering already? Could she finally escape the labyrinth and be normal again? Does that mean she won't have to face depression and all those side effects again? 

It was her mom's handwriting and she was sure of it. Maybe, just maybe her parents were getting along after all those fights, maybe they found out they're still in love, maybe they realize minah exist and maybe they realize they love her

She decided to leave everything out and stop thinking, whatever this is, even if it was a false hope, she just wish she could be normal again.

Quote of the day: "It's sad we live in a world so empty"