Click on the photo to read the story ^^

Author: Littlemisshappyify

Reviewer: NorthMelon

 

FIRST IMPRESSION

How effective was the title?

Okay, first of all, I really like the title. It's easy to remember and it's also really catchy. The title alone makes me want to know what has caused someone or something to be an imposter which draws me into wanting to read more.

Poster and BG layout? (Only if you have one. If you don't have one, you will not be assessed on it)

I really like the poster. It certainly does set the mood for things, however, this poster is missing a touch of romance in it. I can feel the angst, drama and pshycological features of this story in the poster but the romance part, I think can still use a little work.

Foreword and description: Did it draw me into wanting to read more?

I like how your description doesn't do much besides hint at what is going to happen in the story which can make people go nuts, thirsting for more. The next thing I'm going to mention is how you introduced the characters in your foreword. Please don't get offended by this because this is my opinion but, I personally don't like people doing that. Writing out the charcters in your foreword is to direct and blunt. Instead, you should just slowly develop the characters as you go along in the story. If you tell people who they are right off the bat, there will be no surprises when you introduce them into the story. The one good thing about how you did that though, is that you didn't exactly talk much about the characters. You only introduced them and gave them a quote to represent the character so that wasn't too too bad. You don't have to take that comment into consideration because again, this is my personal opinion.

 

STORY

How was the plot laid out?

The plot was laid out pretty well. You can clearly tell who is good and who is bad and your plot twists are nice as well. I also like how you incorporated a poll which allows your readers to debate as to which way they want the story to head. I thought that that was pretty interesting ^^ I love how you don't just stick to one plot but within the plot between the characters, the characters themselves has a plot of their own which I thought was really well done.

How was the pacing of the story? Was it draggy or was it rushed through?

As you have said, the beginning is a little draggy but that's only because you have incorporated a lot of details and description. But that's okay because introductions are supposed to be slow as you slowly introduce the characters. This alows the readers to start warming up to the story so I think that it's perfectly fine. The rest of the pacing was really well done. 

Was the characterization consistent?

I think that your characterization was really consistent and you really stuck with your character's personality and thoughts.

Was the story flow fluent? Was it choppy or was it smooth?

Your story flow is extremely smooth, very clear and concise. It's easy to understand how the characters are feeling and how the plot intertwines with another.

How did you organize your events? Was it in order or was it all over the place?

Your overall organization was good. I do have one thing to critisize though. Leaving a huge gap when your switchng POVs are a little confusing. I have to go back and re-read previous chapters to understand how your laying out the events. Next time, it would be a little more obvious if you put a symbol or something to tell readers that you're switching time periods or POVs.

How effective was the ending of each chapter? Did it leave me wanting to read more?

The cliff hangers were really good as well. It always made me want to read more and more as I went along. I pretty much couldn't last a day not reading at least 3 chapters.

 

MECHANICS

Grammar and Spelling?

I noticed that you had a couple of grammar mistakes and typos here and there but they're so minor that readers might not be able to pick it out or could've easily ignored.

ie. "The chilling tone made her stop on her tracks." (chapter 7)

It should be "in her tracks" not "on her tracks"

Use of Transition Words? (It helps with the flow from paragraph to paragraph so it doesn't seem choppy)

Really good use of transition words. The flow from paragraph to paragraph was really smooth and easy to read.

 

How did I like it overall? Further Comments?

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