Thump, thump. This Beating Heart.

Thump, thump, thump

Can you hear it ?

My heart’s beating for you

Waiting for you to listen to its sound

Thump, thump, thump

Today, my eyes are Panda eyes. Why ? ‘Cause I can’t sleep. And dark circles have already surrounded my eyes.

I was tasting coffee early in the morning while waiting for the time to greet the morning sun. I rested my head on top of my hand, while my fingers rubbed my eyes for several times and my mouth yawned.

The morning sun rose up from the east. My hands automatically clapped without knowing the reason why.

“It’s morning… Yawn”, I said and yawning again.

I walked towards the kitchen with a cup of leftover coffee that I drank earlier. I put the cup in the sink and took out a soap out from the cabinet.

My hands gently wash the cup and bathe it with soap and warm water. I did that ‘cause it was one of my favorite cups.

When I finished, I put the almost dried cup on the table and leave it there to dry completely. And then, I continued my daily routines.

Doing the “grandfather” stretching, and enjoying my luxurious breakfast. Although it was not luxurious.

I went out from my home, wearing my white jacket, blue shorts and a pair of white sneakers. My favorite.

As my feet stepped out from the doorstep, both of my arms stretched out to the air, feeling the fresh air in the morning.

I stole a glance towards Suzy’s home. I hoped she wouldn’t come out from that place or else my heart would have jumped out from inside.

My mouth let out a sigh, while my hips swung around, and both of my arms swung together in sync.

I bend my head up. My eyes looked at the beautiful blue sky. It was somehow shining. And I can feel my eyes glittering. It’s like some of the shines fell down from the blue sky and landed in my black eyeballs.

“It’s beautiful”, I whispered to myself, “I hope it will be my eternal home someday”

It’s just a childish dream and an ending, but, no one can predict the ending right ? So do I.

I bend my head down, back to its original position. My finger scratched my itchy neck while my feet dragged my body and went in to my home. I rested my mind on the sofa, covering my bloated face with a white pillow, and closed both of my eyes at the same time.

Hearing those birds chirping like they were telling bedtime stories. And when those trees were blown by the wind, it kept dancing along to the sweet song. They accompanied me as I walk towards the open dreamland once again.

What will I dream about today ? Maybe I’ll get to meet the angel once again and talk with her.

My eyes felt so heavy after sleeping for almost ten hours. And now, it’s night time. Exactly, eight in the evening. When my stomach has yet anything to eat, time passes like seconds.

I rose up from my sleeping position. I realized something was different the moment I sit up. A blanket which was not on top of my feet before, magically appeared. And what’s more, it’s not pink like I imagined it to be. It’s clean white.

My hand the clean white blanket. It’s furry. And that’s the time I realized, it was not a blanket, but a towel. I must have been too tired since I can’t even differentiate which is a towel and which is a blanket.

I stood up and walked towards the kitchen, thinking about making an instant ramen for the time being. But, it seems that I didn’t have to make any, since someone has given me a yummier food than the instant ramen.

I smiled when I looked at the plastic lunchbox placed on top of the white kitchen table. And a pink post-it, written

This is some of my homemade bibimbap.

You haven’t had lunch yet right ? And I bet you won’t be eating your dinner since you gonna sleep all day.

But, if you wake up, have some.

Oh, and there’s soup on the fridge. Don’t forget to warm it up.

-Suzy-

“Suzy came”, I whispered to myself, as a smile blooms on my face.

I took the homemade bibimbap that she made and brought it in front of the TV. I placed it on top of the white table that was placed in front of the TV.

I folded my hands and started to pray. As I finished my prayer, I quickly opened the lid. My eyes quickly focused on the beautifully-made bibimbap.

“It looks yummy”

A deep voice came from behind. I turned back, and saw Kai was staring at the bibimbap.

“It’s Kai”, I let out a phew out from my mouth.

He came so suddenly that I can’t even scream. And what’s worse, is that I almost threw my bibimbap away. But luckily, I stopped my hand from doing that.

“What are you doing here ?”, I asked.

“Um… Visiting a friend ?”, he replied.

“Yeah right”

I turned away and faced my bibimbap once again. I took the silver aluminum spoon and fork right next to my hand and ready to gobble up my dinner.

“Yum”, I said, eating a spoonful of bibimbap.

I started to gobble the bibimbap in the fastest speed that even Usain Bolt can’t compare. I was too hungry that I forgotten the table manner, and Kai. But, who cares anyway. As long as my tummy was full, nothing matters.

“Hey”, Kai called me the moment I finished my last bite of the bibimbap, “it’s from Suzy right ?”

*CHOKE*

“How do you know ?”, I asked.

“I’m just guessing”, he replied, “and it seems my guess is right”

“She’s just giving me some”

“I know. But, hey. The thing you guys did yesterday, it was so… passionate”

I choked for the second time.

I was going to scream to his face right now. It’s hard for me to forget about what happened yesterday. But, why the heck did Kai bring it up again ?! This is too stressful.

“Kai”, I spoke.

“Yes ?”, he replied, giving me a sweet smile.

“Do you know how hard it is for me to forget the incident yesterday ? I can’t even sleep !”

“Really ? Then you must have liked her so much”

Hearing that, my mouth froze. My mind went blank. Like ? That’s… just no way right ? It’s just impossible for me. Even though I wanted to say that to Kai, the words just can’t come out from my mouth. It’s zipped tightly.

“You like her right ?”, Kai asked again.

I snapped out from my thoughts and quickly hits his shoulder. I was flustered, so, sorry for what I did.

“I-I don’t !”, I shouted.

I glared at Kai, and Kai replied me with a smirk on his face. He stood up and patted my shoulder as he walked pass me.

“Hyung, you still have some things to learn about”, he said.

Kai walked towards the kitchen and took out a pack of instant ramen, while I was still standing in the same place, speechless.

Like ?

Kai went home as soon as he finishes his ramen. And I was left alone in front of the TV. My eyes focused on the TV screen, where “Law of The Jungle” was being played. While my mind was floating somewhere else.

I rested my arms on top of the couch. My mouth let out a sigh, as my brain thought about what Kai earlier said.

“You like her right ?”

“There is no way I will like someone else. ‘Cause, I don’t live long”