Why do you hate her?

I…

Truthfully, I don't.

I don’t hate her.

I can't hate her. No matter how hard I try to convince myself that I do. I just can't get myself to hate her.

I hate myself. Mostly I'm scared. Confused. Guilty. And hurt.

Scared of what?

Scared that she'll leave me. Scared that I'll just wake up one day that she's gone.

I mean, it happened before. It could happen again, right? And it did.

That crazy … she wants to kill me. It seems that everyday she has to do something crazy to give me a heart attack. Why don't she just stab me with a knife and watch me bleed?  Wow. That sounded so emo. Sorry.

There's this one time, I thought we were doing great and she hasn’t acted up for a while.

We were watching a movie, sitting on her couch. After twelve bags of chips and a case of Pepsi I finally gathered the strength to tell her.

"I… I really really like you. Knowing you for the past few months has been… a whirlwind. But… I am very happy whenever I'm with you and…" she cut me off with a hug. I was surprised. She looked really happy. It was one of my best memories with her.

 I slept over at her house, cuddling her. I felt that, man this should be something real now… We were getting somewhere…. Oh god was I wrong. The very next day, I woke up without her. She left a note on the table which simply said "Goodbye, Summer". Up to now, I still have no ing clue as to why. The only explanation that I could think of is that she is mental.

I looked for her. I searched the whole apartment. Opened her closet in the hopes that she might be there hiding, waiting to surprise me and give me a heart attack just like the other times. But she was nowhere to be found. I asked everyone in the building. I even tried asking to her cat Yoseob. God, I must have looked crazy.

I found her at the rooftop. That crazy woman was about to jump. I don’t even…. Aishh..

Did she jump?

No. She fainted. I told you she has fainting spells often right? I was thankful that she fainted or else I wouldn’t know how to glue her together