Its been a while , when things didn't make sense, but its still the same sparkle that brighten up your whole universe..its still the same isn't

Friendship:  its may all sound plain, simple , and craved easily in the mind , but it is so damn precious , if you lose it , may the angels warms your cold heart for while .

Lovers: more complicated but between the lines you will find everything you couldn't imagine to be found.

Friendly-in-love : frustrating like hell , but who said the hell can be this unbearable forsaken place to dwell in time from time .

" Hyung!"

and it did never come to one second to thought at it differently , to believe it was mere random hallucination or anything 

The cold stares didn't  subdue the fire inside the clasped hands, the silent whispers weren't never silenced the means behind 

" Is everything okay ?" 

Everything; since when everything, every details and every stings inside our burned souls can answer back the painful stares

" What is wrong ? " 

the gentle yet tormented gaze from his cute unicorn-friend , those brown-beautiful orbs , and yet chewing on those heavenly cherry like lips couldn't help him figure out a reply , blinking repeatedly with churn in the stomach and restless beating -heart . 

It was too much, how can the mind will resonate logically, how can the heart will calm down an beats steadily or how can the soul regain its born-destination and act like sane person ?

the silent empty minutes that passed by, the long but distant stares that was shared into the ambivalent and the pounding heart like ticking bomb filled the room with unseen paint that covered their both shattered souls.

he couldn't believe what the latter react , did or even utter, he felt himself dawning into deep deep dark weels , no voice, no pain or move can be raffled or affected by his lifeless-like status

Lay was feeling numb, out of the world and every part of this petit limited space that brought lot of inscribed stories , lot of lost hopes but reunited heart hopefully for long time.

Luhan was not feeling good either, more like overwhelming sadness mixed with stapled anguish , startled his entire being, he managed to took a few step back away from the other empty melancholic gaze 

With his weak legs, unable to support his lump body and throbbing more like breaking heart he sat down on the couch with intangible or coherent words or voice to understands:

Its was too much

He couldn't expect that he will have to face such stabbing insecurity, this banging confusion once again 

It was too much again , the uneasy sensation start crippling throughout his weary mind an unsure heart ,he was close to lose his inner-patient before he fall apart and drag into nowhere but hell.

it doesn't make sense , all this despair, all this agony , all this insecurity , is and was the main reason behind their long-lived and yet uncured love-life.

Too much good-for-nothing headache

He needs to get over it and think more rationally , take deep breath and tries to read and let his everything say it all , let it out , delivered all what he felt an needed to share with his darling, nothing to be afraid to step back from or runaway like coward .. not again !

Its happened once but not going to happen twice right . Right?

" xing __"

But did here sink into oblivion ? lost track of time an place existence or something ? cause he is now facing his little dongsaeng with pouty lips and big watery eyes , soon dripped on his shoulders when the puppy-sleepy boy embraced him tightly with few whimpers and cute hiccups

" hyung , i am sorry i ___"

" hey ...what are you apologizing for  ?"

He couldn't help IT but tug his lip into soft smile and hold the other closer , ruffling his hair and humming to stop his sob from release anther broken stuttering.

It seems he did really spaced too much, that he didn't even felt the presence of another parson , who was now hugging his Xing , smiling wide and brightly with heart shaped lips , he followed his gestures , the way he scratch his neck when lay whispered something on his ear or when he struggled to pull the other's hands away from his cheeks , when lay kept pinching playfully those now puffy red cheek, he heard him call him " My Little Soo" but the other protesting by glaring decline and calling himself as Kyunsoo

" I am no longer a little , all aright§?  and certainly not yours "

With blurry vision and sweaty hands, Luhan clutched tightly on the other 's T-shirt making Jongin hiss a bit , but only to broke into another broken groan and cry.

he couldn't hold it together, nor his now tighten heart and cold suffocating chest, he need to breath , but certainty not with half whinny boy on him , he can 't , he is so close to vanish into burning flame , cause he his heart kept poundings an pounding in a indiscreet way like calling an need fro help for more oxygen , and for freedom to escape into .

" oh !!" 

soon those crescent sweet eye smile vanished into blank unfathomable look when he faced Luhan . Lay saw him holding the other boy tightly , how he kept whispering , humming and even caressing the other watery cheeks , made him only close into more darkness and stop there with no word to utter but soon the realization hit him with clear soft hum from behind his back.

" i don't know if you met each other before , but this luhan my roommate he study in___"

" oh luhan you mean " widened his eyes , the shorter boy , glanced back at his classmate and close friend with mischievous smirk an knowing look.

"...."

It took him few seconds until he was enlightened what was the other hinting into , and when he did he felt sudden heat running thought his veins sipping toward his cheeks and ending painting them with soft crimson shade , but this is not was not that hard to notice cause the soft chuckle that let the other's heart shaped lips confirmed his doubtful wonders and only made him plastered another wide grin with look that kept teasing the other frozen status .

" oh okay , i am Kyungsoo Kai's friend an classmate , no I mean Jongin's ___"

" i know , jonging talks nights an days about you, and I swear even when i am about to doze into my peaceful sleep , he keep whining and rambling about how he found dea____hmmp"

Jongin didn't let him spill out all his little secrets anyway and soon he covered his cold palm on his lips hiding with it the smirk and soft snicker with huff and red face that soon was hid in the corner of luhan' neck

He felt like he should give thumb up for his well-done presentation since he didn't stutter or muted his mouth like his mind while ago seeing the other ' unreadable yet provocative red face with that arms swung on the other's petit shoulders , and until now it didn't drop down or left Kyungsso's body .

it will be the wrong understatement if he will admits that didn't twist his stomach into another stinging sensations

damn this more than much !

over-much !!

" so hmm..' after an awkward laugh , Lay turned back to his now all-eyes an ears to him , friend, luhan was wandering when that dear-to hear voice ever spoke more than few counted words , alone with him.  

Oh please when did he talk front of him anyway , every conversation unfolded end with silent dullness and awkward smile or with late time an overwhelming tiredness to continue whatever the matter is about to another better time

better time ?

when did he have better time, apart from yesterday and it s dream-like abundant sweetness that filled his entire existence with warmness and joy ?

okay, he is spacing out again an blushing deeply , now they will think he is quite abnormal an rude bro acting front the new visitor.

So what who said love can alter you into nothing but bizarre abnormal creature walking with dreamy insatiable steps and broken or newly madden heart with frustrated like hell mind...: insane sore to higher indefinite level. !!!

" hey " the hot breath , jolt him from his nagging theories and made him look up to only meet those honey orbs , staring back at him an this time there was no more blank, void and darkness but more worries with glinting of beautiful hidden love that met and reminded him once again where his now

where does he belong ? 

belong ...as part , as soul , an complete existence 

in those hypnotizing eyes Isn't  ?

And those delicious heavenly lips that stretched into tiny but quite blinding smile ....didn't help ..damn no !

" We will be leaving now, we come just to check on you , an apparently you looks fine more than fine glowing with that wide smile that scream cheesy love and rainbow and ...''

" okay , okay mister detective , I am fine yeah but you are not leaving anywhere , at least lets makes something to eat, together "

" am I not the guest here or what? "

Rising his hands in dejected but surrender manner lay , send his giggling little friend a known look, to stop him an his annoying teasing just to head to the kitchen .

Before Luhan could read all what is happening between those two since he where he completely and wholly poisoned with other dazzling eyes excuse him .

He felt like floating into the air but bouncing back quite virtually painfully into the hard ground of reality when an little finger patted his shoulder to retrieve his attention back .

to earth....yeah earth

more like pain the -reality !

" thank you for returning that smile back to my dense hyung , I think I owe you now !"

with wide-big watery eyes pearl-grin  Jongin hummed in his ear, lifting himself up from Luhan's lap and following the other's trailing step to the kitchen

silently 

but 

achingly 

he was brought back..

Luhan didn't know whether he should sigh in relief or cry in despair and unread agony when his everything called his name so clear yet so far to grip and hold tight until the end of the world.