Bordering  blessedness

"Hyung!"

The ineffable tranquility that used to echo throughout the whole room , like on-off switch lost all its soothing silence into indiscrete passiveness.

The watery vision, the shaken whimpers and the sweaty hands, couldn't help Luhan to wake up from his vexed -like coma , he only managed to open up the door after he heard that dishearten shriek, but couldn't budge or take step further, he was glued there, with streaming endless salty drops that washed his pale cheeks over an over, he thanks god for multiple time, for remembering that the dancing studio is not that far from the dorm and that Jongin wasn't that too shocked to move in the right moment and save his hyung not pathetically like him.

" Hyung !!" the pleading weary calls for the second time woke him up but only to see his ' everything' held lifelessly in the arms of another man. this is sound as an unessential crazy thought, but the rushing pangs that were throbbing inside his heart saw it differently more logically can earthly thought could be analyzed and defended it or not.

" wh__what did happen ?" guiding him toward his untouched bed , Luhan let his eyes an lips plays the role of provider and helper rather than his hands and heart to take care of the sleeping boy front of him...

" Hyung....I don't know he was just fine in seconds , and in another he was totally knocked out of conscious , i didn't do nothing, i even told him not to __" 

Babbling in broken , stammered words, Jongin with frown and red puffy eyes , he couldn't even stare at his hyung , he was downhearted with unwanted catalyst , ting of guilt,  anxious fears were all spinning restlessly his mind , even the sleepiness was no longer alluring his droopy eyelids.

" hey, calm down , breath okay "  patting him lightly on the back, Luhan found a brief an escape solace-like when he hugged his shocked wailing friend " he is going to be alright , he is? !  " more like self- rhetorical question , Luhan was close to break in silent sob, but the heavenly-like angel sleeping front of him made him groan and sigh in hopelessness and dismal.

Few hours later..

The moon 's silver shadow lightened the dusky room, a lump covered with a blue duvet , a fluffy golden hair could be seen from the other side of the bed , resting on the edge of the bed, in uncomfortable position , but with soothing calming and warm puffing air now an there, steady heart's beats, and the regular tickling from the pinned on the wall clock , jumbled in pure harmony , painted a new yet very familiar atmosphere, one of once upon time , where the joy seen as the vital need to breath within and the smile as the evident to all the inside-mess that one -naive souls felt...

" ugh" a dry groan left the honey-haired boy , with uneasy failed tries, he left his heavy head only to sink again on his fluffy pillow when he felt dazed for a second . His dry throat and sweaty forehead , screamed for water .  He was dread thirsty .

He turned around , in hope to find one cold fresh glass of water and he did , there was laying there beside the cup of water  there was two pills , he took them incredulously staring at them angrily, he knew what are they for ..and he refused and still refuse to take such useless hideous medic. He rather sink in more dreadful pain than to swallow those disagreeable drugs.

Its all about memories, its all depend on the memories, and how you allowed it to invade your innermost and ruin yourself into the ambivalent 

Just because of memories, dead events, expired wretched moments and yet like unfading mishaps it keeps perpetuating his stirred universe mercilessly 

Its like was quite the opposite.

Rubbing his eyes groggily , with soft yawn and dazzling smile , Lay was afraid he was going though amidst another daydream, he kept blinking confusingly .

" How are you feeling now ? better ? " standing up , Luhan reached the cup of icy water with 2 pills, that were earlier jolted away , but now its again front of that dimple-boy frustrated expression.

" Here drink , you forget your med , though,  that's not the first time you ___"

" I don't want ." 

Luhan swallowed and tried desperately to hid his indignant ,and keep plastering that fake smile until the other take his needed med and after that he will wallow into deep forlorn until his body drop out of wearisome and mourns . 

" Don't act like kid, you've already neglected your injured back for long time already "

" you don't have to worry about my health or anything , its almost dawn , you should go sleep in your room__"

" where are you dragging yourself into  ?"

" what do you mean ?"

" you know damn well what i mean, this is not the first time you fall unconscious, and you know damn well why that?"

" Luhan.." 

" Why are keep torturing yourself like that? , is it...because of me, am i the hideous reason for ___"

" Stop " louder then before, Lay clenched his fist tightly with hazy gaze and broken breath

" I know that I deserve a dreadful curse upon my accused incidents, I should be me who is suffering from such unbearable vexation not you , I was stupid..an..and ignornant...at that time, I just wanted you to look only at me, to be there only beside me, I was so damn selfish,...an...and my childish selfishness cost me highly then i can affords, you don't deserve that, the pain, the wretched memories that was great porch of them from my own immature deeds and..an and my family ..." hiccuping softly, Luhan broke in tears, he is no longer able to see or hear a single outer voice but the deafen pounding of his wounded heart, he wanted desperately to just help his once- everything in any way possible, but who is kidding , after all, the boy's past was tainted with swollen hearts an malformed reality .

" i know OKAY ? ...I know so please just take of yourself , punish me , you can't hurt yourself more and just let me heal your wounds, if that s the only thing i may be allowed to do in retrospect for your genuine affection and generous heart uh ?" 

With wobbling steps, lay crawled further after wrapping the blanket aside, bashfully biting his lower lips quite painfully , he laced his hands with the other's cold one , making the latter squirm lightly and stare back confusingly, but he didn't miss the crimson shade the decorated those pale stained cheeks.

" Hey "  

" ..." 

" Look at me Luhan"  this time Luhan's name was uttered with no sting of frustration or masked forlorn . The coldness that vibrated throughout the noiseless room because of the previous awkwardness altered into lolling warm purring from the other audible call and the latter cute sniffling , because luhan's tears apparently blurred not only his vision but his outward awareness cause he kept blinking several time when a hot breath brushed against his hands that were clasped on the edge of the bed sheet .

" L ...Lay ?"

" yes dear Lu ?" with breathtaking smile, and comforting heated stare , Luhan lost his inner-function to speak to or worse , take one single breath.

But what for , amazingly he is alive , breathing didn't sound this vital to consider thinking about, when the love of his life is absorbing his entire annihilated world with those deep dawning orbs.

" i don't mind soaking in pain, cause its keep me alive , its keep reminding me about one stupid deer, keeps awaking my sore body from your far-away needed touch , and needed existence, if pain is the only outcome i get from this fate, to be with you , even from a distant , i will gladly and take it without complain cause...

Cause I am still in love with you luhan ."

I tried to update this chap as soon as possible because of your super-lovely request an unexpected touching love for this story. <3 

yet it contain quite gram mistake :p I am sorry I still need to re-edit maybe 

I hope I didn't let you down an you loved reading it

Next one will be super fluff (ಥ⌣ಥ)

and I am already in seven sky just by imagining the fluffiest scenario possibl to write it down.

Thank dears for reading and for the sub too (✿◠‿◠).