Are we still dreaming my dear ?  -2-

If it is real show me how, if it is real tell me why , if it is real prove it to me right now cause its all quite amazingly mixed that I am feeling all in-btw flying in seventh sky but I am not sure I am going fall hard this time or you going to hold me forever higher than the twinkling sky.

" are we....we__ "

 Biting his lower lip nervously, with unfocused lowered gaze , Luhan was going through inner- turmoil and joy at the same time. he wasn't sure whether he should punch himself for pondering about such puzzled flustering question or just hug himself for acting more rational an logical in hopes all this dream-like turn into long-lived life with one he needed it for once an for all.

" hmm ?" 

Lay kept humming certain song that only send certain deja_vu to his snuggled deer , he was half sleep half awake, dazed , feeling quite fuzzy and pleasantly relaxed whenever the latter' heart 's beat pulsated beautifully against his , or the tickling fringes against his neck all made him drowsing into wonderful world.

and he doesn't want to wake up

but he doesn't want live it out 

But when a big watery honey orbs stared back at him with ting of hard-to - handle cuteness that was only unveiling his anger and distresses expression , he just lost the way back to earth literary; gravity, what gravity anymore,? breathing what is breathing ? his ribcage was tighten , his stomach twisted , and his felt his mouth turned dry , his gulped the thin air in difficulties when a sudden unpleasant flashback hit him right through his blurry sight.

sadness , shouldn't occur now , 

cause reality is much better than dreams

now ..an forever isn't ?

"Xing "  its been long time since those thin sweet lips spelled his childhood name , but more like a shocked wretched sensation , he was invaded with more like fresh but mingled feeling all curling up all along his now warm body .

" .....I ...us ..I mean...yesterday" he stuttered but after swallowing with dark shaded cheeks he spoke again, but softly , too softly to clearly hear without difficulty " after yesterday , are we " setting up ; Luhan let his hands fall on his lap only to play with them nervously 

" yeah .. " with unfaded blinding smile , lay kept playing dense front of that adorable deer whom were fudging restlessly , he just couldn't help himself from pulling him back to where he belong , close to his heart, resting on his chest, his hands circled around his waist possessively an firmly .

"...."

Luhan was caught out of air,he chewed on his lower lip in attempt to hid his soon to bloom giggle. That oblivious unicorn didn't help him at all , when he found himself in the other warm embrace, its like his lung were no longer part of his body or the oxygen where not enough to inhale and breath in .

with breathless shaken voice , he sighed but leaned against his childhood-friend's arms

damn, why does he feel like he own the world by just inhaling that sweet addictive scent

home: the feeling is unquestionably warm to just resonated in your blank mind.

those lips damn it, he was an inch close to capture them, taste, devour them and own them as his and forever his

but the stupid phone why should he know ring..why for forsake ,, 

" Oh Jongin ah"

The plaster smile on the doll-like face, and the knitted eyebrow made him looking cute and adorable , but Lay wasn't feeling any hint of desire to squish the life out of that unearthly deer, he was more like concentrated on the way Luhan's petit lips parted and uttered the staggered words , the way his slender beautiful finger played with hem of his t-shirt or his sweet -- strawberry smell from his sunny hair clouded his entire existence when that deer leaned against his pounding chest and kept blabbing about what to the phone-caller

He didn't pay attention to whatever the conversation was about , he was hypnotized  , somehow he still caught lost in btw : reality and fancy : is that real his deer ? is his now with him as his and ever will be? will he never runaway or tried to failed his hope ?

" Jongin ah ! Where did you sleep last night? Are you feeling okay?  " 

This is doesn't sound right in his dreamy vision 

wrong 

Why he is feeling that weird feeling in the pit of stomach again ? but now with more stinging pains and unexplainable desire to scold and get anger at the other sincere worried expression and cute sad smile that only elicited a deep frown on his frustrated facial expression

He huffed like five y/d child , he shouldn't act childish and whinny like this. He is suppose to stand in this relationship as the mature , man and responsible one but instead his deer irresistible cuteness that was dangerously contagious ....he crossed his hands and was about to stand and live the living room under the pretend of need thing from the kitchen..

but its seems his belated sulking wasn't gone without notice 

" where are you going..?."

" hm ?" blinking dumbly at the adorable puppy look of his deer-boyfriend 

" Xing ?" titling his head into another side Luhan pouted when the other only shock his head like a crazy person an left him alone sprawled on the couch

This is ridiculously hilarious, why would he act so childishly and stubbornly leave the other alone dumbfounded ?

Lay open the fridge taking out one apple , but he only kept staring at her like trying to extract a freaking answer from her rounded red-shape , he squirmed lightly when a pair of milky skinned arms wrapped around his waist from behind, but soon let out a long sigh he held it the moment those big sparkling orbs stare at back at questionably .

" don't leave me again , without my permission " the last uteration was more pronounced with huff and pout against his back 

" Luhan ?!" 

why is it so difficult to decide, to be the one in charge, to take responsibility and to make the first move and not give up ?

the eyes said it all, the lips never needed more words to taste to truth of all once said but never felt or extend to real tangible world

the hands held faith and hope to keep the distance short , to keep the sun shinning in the cloud day an to keep love blooming in the middle o stormy or grim times

but now , the clocks never ceased on clicking , moving further, indicating and unforgiving an unwanted reminder of needless exclamation to look ahead , never turn back, never back

but together...

together.

" hmm.."

" I don't think i can handle all this;  I am not even sure what to call it anymore;  friendship, childhood acquaintance anymore . It s been a while already, and I can't see myself anywhere away without ....you...an I am kind lost , scared of staying in the middle, always running out of choices or possibilities to moving on..luhan , i need to move on " looking bit intimated and lost , luhan took a step back , an soon his brightly sparkly eyes turned hazy with no life or color mirroring it , he was apprehensively running out of words and action to reply him

"...lets stop.."

Lay reaction was soon morbid into a deep frown when his everything pulled away, leaving the bitter coldness to tuck his soul into ambivalent , he thought the other 's dreamy sweet affirmations was more than enough that he still the same : didn't change. He didn't. how can years an years of his existence wilt away, vanish and become easily , too soon a memory and one unfortunate one too ? NO. this is shouldn't be , this  was suppose to be the start of long-awaited love, the beginning shouldn't sense so voidless, so aghast, so close to dreadful termination; unwritten end.  

new beginning 

different end

it can't be ??

 .....please tell me how was it ಥ_ಥ ?

Cause I think I start drifting into another-wrong-direction.

as always; thank you Dears for reading ◔ ⌣ ◔