Like the you I dreamed of

You are my life

My beautiful butterfly

                The white butterfly clings to the shop door’s wind chimes, again. Min Seok doesn’t have the heart to chase it away. It’s the third time this week that it appeared inside the book shop, seemingly materializing out of nowhere.

                It’s bigger than the normal garden butterflies that he has seen floating around in the park a few steps away from where he lives. It’s actually bigger than any butterfly that he has seen in his entire existence, all 23 years of it. It’s breathtakingly beautiful at closer inspection. With pretty white spotted wings, one would mistake it for a plum blossom at first glance.

                Yi Xing says it must be a spirit. Min Seok thinks it’s a rare kind of fauna. But no matter how hard he tried looking for this certain species, he’s not able to come across it on any of the science books his checked, he even went as far as taking a picture of the butterfly and posting it on a forum just to see if anyone could tell him what it really was and he could prove Yi Xing wrong.

                The wind chimes tinkle again. Odd that no one has entered the shop but the chimes are swaying together with the white butterfly perched on one of the chimes. But instead of the normal tinkling sound he thinks it’s calling a name. It swayed a second, then a third time before coming to an abrupt halt. Min Seok thinks the name was common, something he had heard of before. He smiled when the chimes moved again, he finally figured it out. The name is familiar. It was familiar because it was his.

                He was startled by a not so soft tap on his shoulder. Huang Zi Tao, a freshman who’s taking the same Introduction to Philosophy class as he was, stares at him, curious.

                “Ge, you were giggling. At first I thought it was nothing, that you might be having a really good day, but giggling got louder and some people from the seats in front of us are starting to look at you suspiciously. So I needed to ermmm… kind of wake you up.

                “Was I? I’m sorry if it freaked you out…”

                “Nah, it’s okay… I didn’t like what the lecturer was saying anyway. You were a good source of entertainment…”

                Min Seok thinks this kid must’ve thought him insane. He sighed. What a time to start day dreaming.

                “What were you day dreaming about, Ge? You look really, really happy…” he paused for a second. “Oh, if you don’t want to tell me, it’s fine too… I mean, I don’t intend to pry… But I’m just really curious, that’s all…”

                It’s… I can’t remember…”

                Huang Zi Tao looks at him in disbelief before focusing his attention back to the lecturer. It’s a lie that he can’t remember, but this is something that he’s not willing to share with just anyone.

                Eversince that day when he told Yi Xing about picking up the hong bao, he’s been having weird dreams of butterflies and massive plum gardens. Yi Xing advised him not to wander in dreams and to refrain from talking to anyone in his dreams, not like he’s seen any living soul during those dreams. It’s just like being lost in a particular place but not quite. Yi Xing also advised him not to talk to anyone about the hong bao incident, in dreams or in real life. Not that he’s willing to tell his tale to anyone after seeing Yi Xing’s reaction. Half of China’s population would probably have the same opinion on the incident.

                If they (whoever they are) really wanted him to marry a dead person, he could always decline, right? He didn’t have any idea what it was in the first place. And isn’t this types of practices, illegal?

                Yi Xing explains that it might not be common but a few traditional families still do this to appease the spirit of a dead relative. A dead unmarried woman might request for her relatives to marry her to escape the shame of being a spinster. It’s more frequent for male heirs who die young and unmarried to go through ghost marriages to continue their family’s lineage.

                “But Ge’s not a local, so they might not be too happy to push through with it… No offense or anything…” Yi Xing tried to sound convincing, but Min Seok doesn’t think even he believes his own words. He’s been more fidgety lately and there’s a permanent frown on his face every time he looks at Min Seok.  It might have something to do with him picking up that hong bao or it could also be that stubborn ghost that’s been asking for his help. Min Seok doesn’t want to burden Yi Xing with his problem, he got himself (albeit unaware) into this, maybe he can find a way to get out of it.

~0~

                It was a lazy afternoon at the book shop. Min Seok went here directly after his lecture, one, to look for Yi Xing and two, to sub for one of the shop’s employees who needed to look after a younger sibling.

                There were only a few customers who went to check for new stocks and the occasional giggling middle schoolers who hang around the shop to ogle at Yi Xing, unfortunately for them the latter was nowhere to be found. The white butterfly that usually lingers inside the shop was gone. Min Seok thinks it must’ve decided to venture outside feeling bored at the lack of amusement. This made Min Seok a bit lonely, his only companion has abandoned him.

                He must’ve fallen asleep when he felt himself being gently shaken. He blinked a couple of times to get rid of the haze caused by sleep.

                There was someone standing in front of him.  A new customer perhaps, this is the first time he’s seeing the young man. Looking at the person’s clothes he must be a part of a well-off family. There’s a friendly smile plastered on the young man’s face. Eyes twinkling like stars and a glowing countenance. Brushing it off as an effect of sleep, Min Seok fixes the customer his most accommodating smile.

                “Finally…” the young man says airily.

                “I’m sorry, were you waiting long?” Rubbing his neck, embarrassed at being caught sleeping on the job.

                The young man shakes his head vigorously, clumps of light brown hair brushes doe-eyes framed by long lashes. Min Seok can’t help but notice that this person is pretty, if one can call a male that. Small face, with a button nose and a small mouth, the scar on his lower lip just added charm to his almost perfection. The young man’s features are familiar, like he has seen it on another person before but he brushes it off. He works at a bookshop people come and go. There could be a possibility that some of them might have similar features. Finding himself shamelessly staring, Min Seok wants to become a puddle on the floor.

                “Were you looking for something in particular? If you can’t find it, I can check it for you…”

                It was the young man who’s openly staring now. Min Seok can’t help but be self-conscious. He remembered that he drools (a lot) in his sleep. He ran his hand across his face just to make sure he didn’t look too disheveled.

                A laugh like a tinkling of a thousand chimes caught Min Seok’s attention and he went back to look at  the shop’s only customer. The young man is still standing there looking amused. Kim Min Seok cleared his throat and tried to compose himself. He’s feeling a little awkward in front of this person.

                “Did you already choose a book to purchase? Did you want to pay for it now?”

                “Ummm… I was looking for a particular book… of poems. I heard this shop was the only one who has it…”

                “A book of poems?” Min Seok left his post in the counter and walked towards a tall shelf housing all the poem books that they have. The young man followed him, keeping a polite distance, but still weirdly staring.

                “Do you have the name of the author? Or is it a collection of poems? Was there a certain subject that you were looking for?”

                The young man shook his head. “This one is a special book. Covered in silk, hand-bound… It’s—“

                “Hey, I told you to not bother him…” Someone suddenly shouted out of nowhere.

                “Yi Xing?” Min Seok is confused. When did Yi Xing arrive?

                “But I just wanted…”

                “I said you can’t… Not like this…” Yi Xing’s voice is stern, laced with anger.

                The young man looked disappointed. There’s a melancholic air to him. Why would Yi Xing scold a customer? Does he know his young man?

                “Min Seok-ge…”

                 Min Seok turns his gaze towards Yi Xing. The latter is becoming a hazy blur and he feels his body start to get heavy.

                “Min Seok-ge, wake up… Min Seok-ge…”

                Like being jolted up from an endless sleep, Min Seok finds himself in the storage room, slumped on a stool, holding the poem book that the young man in his dream was looking for.