After that conversation with Alice, I still didn’t really change my attitude toward Kris. I didn’t want to lose any more faith in him or to know that everything he had done recently was just lie.

As I had expected, meeting her at that café provided me with more evidence that those 2 were still seeing each other. However, I felt that my mood was down for a little bit. This made me to think more, should I continue the conquest to change my life this way? My feeling was still a mess.

That night was the first night I cried again since my holiday with the kids. I cried because when Kris stepped inside our room, I still recognized his familiar figure for all those years. All of his image, my feeling for him still existed in my heart and my mind. I wanted to cry because of the feeling wanting to hug him with my arm, to smell his scent. I cried because I realized that no matter how much I changed, I knew I still love him a lot but he was too far away from me, he belonged to someone else. His heart had someone else in it.

I turned away from him.

I didn’t want to be weak again, to be hurt again like the last time he used to prove his love to me, to prove that he had come back to me. He lied down next to me and said “Just cry, yeobo. Let the tear wash away your pain and sadness.”

“Yeobo…”

“Baby, cry and be happy again. I love you a lot. Don’t leave me.”

I looked at him, I didn’t know if I was weak again that I believed in his words again, I trusted what he said was true and that was all of his thinking.

“What are we going to be like, Kris?”

“We are going to get better. Just give me a chance. No matter how long it takes, I will make everything better. ”

“Do you still lie to me about anything?”

“There are still some things that I haven’t told you yet. But the things that I have told you are truth. I know you haven’t trusted me back yet. It’s okay. I will wait until you fully trust me.”

“Why don’t you end things with me? Obviously, I don’t love me anymore. We both know this. I won’t cause you any trouble. The kids have been mentally prepared.”

“It’s hard to explain to you right now. But I hope you try to believe one thing that you are the only person I want to be with for the rest of my life. Please continue to give me more chance to gain back to love and trust. Don’t be in a rush to divorce.”

Also, he told me that “You have to give me one more chance; you can’t give up all the thing that you have worked so hard to build, to create.”

Just because he said that didn’t mean I had to accept him so easily when he still had a lot of things hidden from me. My mind told me to not trust him but I knew my heart have already trusted him again.

Our family’s live just continued like that, still normal. I had a lot more work so I had to spend more time dealing it those paper works. And Kris had to take some of my responsibilities about the kids and this family.

Also at that time, I noticed that he hardly left the house on his day off if he hadn’t taken me and the kids to somewhere. I also came home from work quite early.

My family, some part of it, had returned like it used to be in the past. Not only could I felt happy and fun but also sentimental.

One more thing, my parents in law also changed their attitude toward me. He didn’t like me honestly because they already had an ideal wife for Kris, a child of a friend of them. They didn’t object our relationship and marriage. They respected Kris’ decision though they did try to talk Kris into ending our relationship. They were completely opposite to what I had imagined. I expected them to be happy or laugh at my face for my fail marriage with Kris.

On the contrary, they had a lot more respect for me and acknowledged me more. They didn’t pick a fight with me anymore. You could say that I gained their love. I felt better because in the past they caused me a lot of trouble.

 My mother-in-law wanted to talk to me and we did.

“I don’t know why to say to you. I can only sorry for what Kris did to you. I am also sorry for causing you such a hard time. I never have to the courage to admit until now that you are a very good wife to Kris.  You are very kind and tolerant. Even when we are fighting, we have never said any rude thing to us, you still show us respect. Furthermore, you gave birth to my lovely grandchildren Tao and Sehun. You raised them very well.”

That was the first time and not the last time she said those good things about me.

The pain was still there but I still tried