That day, Kris went home seeing me lying on bed tiredly with a fever, he panicked. The way he cared for me, worried about me, scolded me for not telling him that I was sick. That almost made me forgot about everything. But then I remembered the messages of that women, I didn’t know what the truth was and what lie was.

I sat up and ate some chicken soup that he made. He helped to clean myself and put a wet towel over my forehead. I only talked to him about necessary things; I didn’t want to talk about those messages and missed calls. Then I lied down and drifted to dreamland with a horrible nightmare.

The next morning I waked up, feeling much better. He said he would take the kid to school and told me to rest more; he said he would also stay home with me today.

I looked at him; nothing was strange with him because this was how he usually did when I was sick. However today, he looked at me and avoided eye contact with me, though I did not express anything. I knew he had looked at his phone and known that I had read the messages.

The war has already begun. This war will not only be a no gunfire war but also a silent brain war. I needed the strength to win this battle, and he would be a pathetic loser with his mistress at my feet.

I sat up, ate breakfast, took the medicine, changed my clothes and began to do the house chores.

He also helped me with the chores like usual but he was a clumsy man when it came to those kind of things. In the end I also had to clean up his mess. I didn’t nag him because at least he was trying to help.

He stopped me and told me to rest, he looked at me sincerely with laments. I shed tears, if only I hadn’t looked at his phone and read that message; if only he had explained to me that someone mistakenly sent that message to his phone. If only….but that was impossible.

I hold back my tears and continued working silently. I just acted like I was tried and didn’t want to talk much. Nevertheless, I still had to discuss some small stuff in the family with him.

I found his attitude is cautious, just like he was probing, just like he was waiting for the wrath from me, but no, absolutely I won’t mention anything. He would have to live in this mood very long, very long time, I promised you.

"Days after that day were living hell to go through, and he's probably too".

My family’s life still happened like normal with a normal routine but in an abnormal atmosphere. There was no discussion, no talking, no argument, just silent. My sons didn’t understand anything. Tao, the older one, didn’t know what happened but he could feel the intenseness between me and Kris. They just kept silent, didn’t dare to be playful like normal.

I felt bad for the kid, he also felt bad for them but both of us didn’t say anything. I didn’t know about Kris but for me, I just wanted to scream at him, to bite, scratch, curse him; I wanted to destroy everything but I couldn’t.

Every time I wanted to speak up, it was like an invisible hand preventing me from saying anything. The pain seemed to have paralyzed all my power. I didn’t know how to face it, where to start, how he would react. And I was scared. I was afraid that I couldn’t say anything good or decent to him. I was afraid of him admitting everything. I was afraid about my kid’s reaction.

Overall, Kris was still the same except the fact that he was waiting for my action, my fury.

Kris did try to coax me, initiate some intimate gesture but I just shrugged off and said “Don’t touch me.”. I just couldn’t stand what he was doing.

I knew this waiting is not comfortable or happy at all. To some point, he ran out of patience and had to say everything and solved the problem.

Deep down, I was waiting for that to happen. Maybe I was a coward so I could dare to face the truth. Hence, I put that burden on his shoulder. But I was wrong.

Cheaters will never learn their lesson. They would never consider their affairs as a sin or feel guilty when they are still responsible for their family. Kris was the same. He must have thought that I wasn’t angry since I had no reason to be mad at him because he still fulfilled all his duties and responsibilities as a husband and a dad and I was angry only for a few day and that’s it.

After one week, he became normal again and happy, no more probing, no more waiting for my reaction. He didn’t seem to wait for my attitude anymore. This drove me insane and he just wanted to kill him.

At these times, I gritted my teeth hard, clinging to anything that could be support to not collapse. He would pay the price; he would have to endure the pain that I was enduring now. However, what should I do? I don’t know. I had no idea.

Something came up in my mind. Internet. I searched for every possible keyword I could think of like “Cheating”, “Husband’s affair”. There were thousands of results appeared on my screen. There was a lot of different situations and solution. I was more confused with my own story, didn’t have the answer. I didn’t a solution that can be applied.

I fell into a state of depression. Tao and Sehun were afraid to be close with me. My husband was still happy but began to avoid me, went to bed early or stayed at his study with the computer.

I was startled when I realized that, I felt so bad, why did I make Tao and Sehun suffered when Kris was the one with all the faults.

Like this cannot be like this, I had to do something. Taking revenge on him and his mistress or trying to get him back with me. I had to do some things to escape this tragedy.

I was determined to take revenge on the one that hurted me so much. But when I looked at Sehun and Tao, I was afraid. I don’t want my kids to live in an incomplete family. I wanted them to be happy. They were my everything.But at that time, I couldn’t bring myself to pull Kris back to me.

In those painful days, I tried my best to take care of them, play with them. But I couldn’t do the same with Kris. I couldn’t act normal around him. Every time I saw him, my blood was just boiling. I couldn’t even open my mouth to say anything to him. Forgiving Kris is something that I could never do at this point.

Day by day, I felt more and more disoriented. I felt like I could explode anytime. My child was the only thing that kept me living. I will have to fight for me and my sons.

I wanted to have some time alone and think about what I am going to do with this marriage. I dropped the kid at their grandparents for a few days saying that I had to go on a business trip. But actually it was a vacation for me. I needed some time and space to solve all this problem I was having.

If I had stayed home, Kris’s presence would have just pissed me off and the kids would have made me give up. But no, I had to find my own way. Then, I went to a resort near the beach about few hundred km away from the city.

The