“Hey, I know you’re jealous about Joon and Jiyeon being together, but don’t you think you’re going a bit too far?” Seungho asked me with a confused look.
Of course he would be wondering why I was doing this. But I’m not left with much of a choice. I can’t possibly face Joon the way I am now. Maybe we really weren’t meant to be all along. You’re really the world’s biggest idiot Rei. You really should have given up on him years ago. He’s just too good for you.
“Sorry, I can’t let you know the reason right now. So, could you lend me a hand?” I replied.
Seungho looked puzzled again. He gave it a thought and replied, “All right… I’ll help you, only on the condition that you let me know what happened between you two.”
I sighed. I guess since everyone’s gonna find out about it sooner or later, I might as well tell him. Afterall, it’s definitely impossible for Jiyeon to keep shut right? Especially if she’s gonna announce herself as Joon’s new girlfriend after this.
+++++++++++++++++++ After explaining the situation to the confused leader ++++++++++++++++++
“What!? Are you sure you heard them right? They might be in a fight or something…” Seungho asked me for confirmation.
“No, I’m sure it was Joon and Jiyeon. I saw them with my own eyes… I knew being together with Joon was too good to be true.” Tears started welling up in my eyes again. Flashbacks of my childhood times together with him are too painful to recall now… Moreover, the times I had with him in our one month relationship span. Short lived but absolutely memorable.
I started crying again. Cries that I’m not even sure whether they’re of sadness or anger. My head is just a big mess again. Wrecked and in total confusion.
“It’s ok, cry as much as you like. Nobody hardly comes up here… Just release the pain that you can’t endure.” Seungho comforted me and lent me his chest again to lean on. Just my only escape from all this torture.
+++++++++++++++++++++ Next day (Night of the Ball) ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“Are you sure about this? Are you really all right?” Seungho is constantly asking about my well being ever since yesterday night.
“Yeah, I am. Sorry about yesterday night. I feel much better now.” I said with a slight smile on my face.
Seungho seemed more rest assured after hearing my reply. He really is worrisome, he might be strict and a fool at times, but there really is more to him than I knew about.
Suddenly, someone stopped my path. The one I didn’t want to meet most. Lee Joon.
“Ya, why didn’t you answer my phone calls?  And where were you? You were gone when I returned yesterday night. You weren’t in you room either… Where were you?!” Joon asked impatiently.
It was obvious he didn’t have much rest yesterday night. I guess he probably searched everywhere for me. Its sweet, if only all of it wasn’t a façade in the first place. Seungho was right. Nobody ever goes up to the veranda. The perfect getaway. I fell asleep there yesterday night. Seungho accompanied through. I guess neither of these guys had a decent sleep with me on their minds. I’m really am a burden.
“And who gave you permission to enter my room? I’m free to go anywhere I want. I’m not you’re pet.” I replied as I try to pass through.
“As you’re boyfriend, I have permission.” Joon replied as he blocked my path again. His face again returned to that cold expression. Merciless in his eyes. It takes a lot for him to be this worked up.
“Heh, I must compliment you on your acting. You’ve improved a lot.” I said ironically.
“What do you mean?” Joon asked.
“I mean stop using me. You don’t have to keep up this pathetic act anymore. You might enjoy it, but I don’t. Find another girl to be your play thing!” I argued back as I try yet again to walk across him.
This time he grabbed my hands. I struggled to break free. And of course, it was futile. He’s way too strong.
“Don’t joke around this isn’t funny. You know I love you. ” He said.
“Yeah… I wondered how many girls have fallen for that trick. You’re mistaken Joon. You love Jiyeon, not me.”
My statement seemed to have shocked him. His loosened his grasp on me. I used this opportunity to break free. Just like in a maze, I keep running into the wrong direction and getting myself into a bigger mess. Maybe that’s the reason I keep hurting myself in the end. I’m back to the starting point, I want to start over, as if nothing ever happened.
“Rei, that was a misunderstanding. It’s not like that between us…” Joon said.
“Yeah, it was a misunderstanding. I thought you were better than that, but I was wrong. You’re just a fool like I thought you always were.” I said. Tears started to well up again. I tried the best I could to hold them back. Looking at Joon right now is the hardest thing to do. I know he’s hurt right now. I should just break up cleanly with him.
“Ah yes, I’ll be dancing with Seungho tonight. Forget about me and accompany Jiyeon. This is the end of our relationship. I’m sorry that the angel I came to knew has lost his wings, and he’s now fallen into the pits of hell. He’s a demon in disguise after all.” I said my last words to him the best I could without making my voice tremble. I ran away before my tears started falling. I don’t want to show him, not this weak side of me.
Joon’s left there dumbfound. Recalling Rei’s last words to him.
“What is this? You don’t have permission for us to break up!” Joon shouted in the direction Rei ran.
“Hey, I don’t normally do this to my dongsaengs, but I never knew you would stoop to this low.” Seungho said to Joon with a tone of disappointment.
“If you keep this up, Rei’s only going to get hurt more. You know, if you don’t keep your guard up, I’ll grab her away from you.” Seungho declared and walked away following Rei, leaving Joon motionless.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Night of the Ball +++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“Wow wow wow! You look great Rei!” Mir complimented me when I walked in with Seungho to where the ball was held.
“Thanks! I like your masks” I commended back.
“Looks like our leader finally got himself a girl. Or more precisely someone else’s girl.” G.O joked around.
“Don’t regret your decision though. She’ll drive you crazy like she did with Joon.” Thunder warned him.
“Don’t sweat it, I’m not sane anyway.” Seungho replied with a smirk. I started blushing again. This is just a temporary thing. Everything will get back to normal soon enough. Of course, I don’t blame the others for having that kind of image of us in their heads looking at how we’re dressed and acting today. But, Seungho’s just a leader I respect. I’m grateful for his understanding of my situation.
He led me towards the centre where the other passengers were already dancing together. From a distance, I could see them. Painful to watch yet unable to turn my eyes from them. The centre of attention, dancing at a much more higher level than the others.
Joon was dressed in a tuxedo like the other members were. Jiyeon was wearing a light pink dress which complimented her skin perfectly. Both in masks like everyone else including me were. However, judging by the way they danced, it’s easy to tell it’s them.
Seungho suddenly turned my head towards him. “It’s bad for your eyes.” He jokingly said. “Let’s  show them MBLAQ’s dancing skills shall we?” He said.
Minutes and an hour passed. Everyone was still bursting full of energy. I tried to keep my pace up not losing to Joon and Jiyeon’s.
“Why don’t we take a break. I’ll go get us some drinks…” Seungho told me and left. I sat down at a corner. So, not only Joon but even Seungho’s able to read my expressions. Great! Just great! Rei, how more pathetic can you get?
All of a sudden, all the lights went off. I couldn’t see anything. Everything was pitch black. Not good. I’ve never been a fan of the dark. I’ll get scared easily and if this situation goes on for any longer, I’m afraid I might not be able to move from my position. I hate it, how could a luxury liner have a blackout like this?! Only the voices of other passengers could be heard.
Why is it taking so long? My hands were already shivering. It’s dark, really dark. It’s useless! I’m scared. Suddenly someone grabbed my hands.
“AH!” I screamed. I could tell I must be crying right now. The dark is just terrifying to me. Somehow, the hand that held me was familiar. The touch and the sense, both experienced before.
“S.. Seungho, is that you? You’re back?” I asked barely able to find my voice back.
“Ya, have you been with that loser long enough that you’ve forgotten about me?”
It’s Joon’s voice! He’s close, I could tell. Probably seated beside me. That explains the familiar warmth radiated by his palm. Although, it’s akward, I can’t say I dislike the situation.
“Besides, who else apart from me and your brother know about your weakness?” Joon asked.
I don’t want to answer. To be more precise I couldn’t answer. I haven’t been in the dark for such a long amount of time for awhile. Fear is still catching up. My tears won’t stop either. It’s just too scary. My sobs were starting to get louder.
“Hey, are you crying?” Joon asked.
I remained silent. Only my sobs became louder.
“Why is that everytime you’re with me, you have to cry? Am I that bad of a guy?”
Joon’s hold on me tightened. Again making me feel more secure. This is driving me crazy, I hate the fact that I love him. Faking it just isn’t working out. Just him seated beside me right now is making my feelings uncontrollable. I cried more.
Joon closed in on me. I could feel him pushing me against the wall. His gripped on me didn’t lossen. It hurt, it’s too tight.
“You better stop crying or the others will think I did something to you when the lights get back.” He said.
Oh yeah? Better! You be the bad guy then. I went on with my plan and made my sobs louder on purpose. Little did I knew that my plans always backfire.
“That’s it, you’re seriously driving me up the wall! First declaring the breakup on your own and now this. I’ll make you regret it.”
Before I could think about what he said, he ended his sentence and kissed me. I couldn’t fight back. Defenseless. I can’t move nor scream. He didn’t stopped either. He continued kissing more passionately than the previous one. Showing no signs of stopping. It’s suffocating. His breath intoxicated me once again to the point that I thought I might pass out. I can’t help it but kissed back on impulse.
I’m sure about it now. I love Joon and I don’t want to give him up to anybody. I love him no matter how many times I try to deny it, my body will just show the answer in the end anyway. However, no matter how I look at it Jiyeon fits him better than I do. I’ll just bring him down.
I just wish time will stop right now. The darkness conceals many things. Forbidden secrets that nobody’s meant to find out. That’s the way I want it to be and remain. In his arms like this, so safe and secure. No one to criticize or interrupt us.
And just as suddenly as it happened, the lights went on again.
- Chapter 8 End -