mygracelesshope [Lunacy]

Drunkards Review Shop [CLOSED]

 

Title: LUNACY

Author: mygracelesshope

Story Link: LUNACY

Score: 94.5/100

 

Title: [10/10;]

Impressive title. 'Nuff said.

 

Foreword/Description: [7/10;]

The description is nice, impressive and an attention seeker. It gives the vibes, the creepy vibes, the dark vibes, everything your story is about. It would be good if you change it a little though, just a little change won't hurt, no?

ORIGINAL:

Are you willing to pay the price of knowledge?                              

Even if it will cost you                                                                 

Your memories?                                                                       

Your sanity?                                                                             

Your life?                                                                                   

N paid the price                                                                          

To know the gruesome details                                                     

About the past, present and future                                               

Addicted to the moon                                                                  

His lunacy, his choice                                                                 

Are you willing to pay the price?

 

REVISED:

Are you willing to pay the price of knowledge?                              

Even if it will cost you                                                                 

Your memories?                                                                       

Your sanity?                                                                             

Your life?                                                                                   

N paid the price                                                                          

To know the gruesome details                                                     

About the past, present and future                                               

Addicted to the moon                                                                  

His lunacy, his choice                                                                 

Are you willing to pay the price?

 

The italicized words gives more vibes. Creepy vibes. and for emphasis.

 

Plot: [19.5/20;]

I love it. There are only few stories here that has the same plot as yours or maybe you're the only one with the plot. I am not a fan of these plots but your story got me hooked. And the way you started it, the flashback is great. I find flashbacks as the start of the story amusing and creepy.

 

Characters: [20/20;]

Can I just skip this part and just give you the score? XD I have no words . Okay, maybe I have one, WOW.

 

Grammar and Spelling: [18/20;]

Is english your first language? Mmmm, good for you. I found little errors but nothing major about it. Just check the chapters once you have time, okay? :)

 

Flow: [15/15;]

The flow is great. Nothing to blabber about.

 

Structure: [5/5;]

I love your poster. It gives the angsty feels and it draws attention. Aside from fixing your phrasings at times, there's nothing more I could say.

 

 

 

 

 

REview is done.

REVIEW BY: DrunkenMaster

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cookiemonster555
Calling mygracelesshope! Review is done!

Comments

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Miawitch_1002 #1
Chapter 10: i've read the review (obviously).
no. i'm not American. I was really afraid that the plot is too generic, i just really wanted to make a best friend story. I'm glad that i made you laugh while reading.
Thank you so much^^
I'll credit right now :)
Miawitch_1002 #2
Story link:http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/722521/just-the-way-you-are-baekyeol

Title: just the way you are

Oneshot or Chaptered: one-shot

Genre:fluff ; comedy

Message: i dont mind harsh opinions, because i have lots to learn ..
thank you ^^
mygracelesshope
#3
Chapter 9: Thank you for the review! I fixed my foreword
and English is not my first language :)
wondermickey #4
Chapter 8: Thank you so much for your review ^^ It's my first time requesting for a review and I was glad I did request in this shop ^^ Thank you so much! Fixed my description and will try my best to follow your tips ^^ definitely crediting you on my story's foreword. thanks again ^^
mygracelesshope
#5
Story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/704785/lunacy-angst-dark-horror-vixx-neo-toppdogg

Title: LUNACY

Oneshot or Chaptered: chaptered

Genre: angst/dark

Message: It's still ongoing, and thanks in advance! ^.^
wondermickey #6
Story link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/699479

Title: It's tae on!

Oneshot or Chaptered: chaptered

Genre: romance

Message: hello! i want to hear opinions about this story of mine. thanks in advance for reviewing it :3
mysoulisstarving #7
Chapter 6: love the review. short and sweet haha and i've been requesting for posters here and there, since I at making posters.., thanks again!! ^^
Lovex2254 #8
Chapter 7: Thanks for the review! I know the title is long, but the story was inspired by a song of the same title. And in the description, I didn't want to write that it wasn't worth it because it would give away the ending. And yes Sehun was supposed to be written that way. A lot of time I find that the idol characters are written to be desirable in some way and I wanted to change that in this story. I wanted to portray two people who weren't working together and neither one could really make the effort to fix it. Yeah and I didn't explain what a joint was cause I kinda assumed most people knew, but a joint is usually what you use to smoke weed.
Lovex2254 #9
Story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/721429/why-d-you-only-call-me-when-you-re-high-oneshot-romance-originalcharacter-exo-sehun

Title: Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?

Oneshot or Chaptered: Oneshot

Genre: angst, romance, slice of life

Message: thanks in advance :)
Nictaeny9
#10
Chapter 5: I'll credit once I'm in my com... But pls do pm me to remind me as I tend to be a tad bit forgetful now and then