Title: Not that person anymore

Author: EmpireKids9

Story link: Not that person anymore

Title: [8/10;]

 The title, is not that related to the story, YET. I am still waiting for the next chapters where Hyuna would meet Kris and show him she's not the same person anymore. So as of now, I don't have much to say, except for these:

-Capitalize all nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs. And lowercase all articles and prepositions. So in this case, your title should be written like this; Not That Person Anymore

-Your title is too "wordy" in my opinion. It's quite long for a title.

Foreword/Description: [6/10;]

Grammar and spelling were fine.

The description gives quite a lot of details already. When I first read it, I was like, "Oh, this goes like this and that..". It doesn't need Einstein to predict what is gonna happen. Also the lines weren't that deep. The words were quite shallow. Try using some simple yet deep words for the description. Simple yet deep words give interesting vibes to readers.

I am an author myself, and sometimes, I feel bored when reading my stories because of the shallow words. (^^,)

Plot: [15/20;]

The plot is cliché. So far, nothing unexpecting and life changing had happened YET. It lacks mystery, thus it failed to get my attention and interest as well. I'm sure what I felt awhile ago was felt by some people too. :)

Characters: [19/20;]

The characters were great. Very relateable and they don't have that perfect personality, especially Kris. Usually, he is the "perfect guy" in stories but you gave him a more realistic role, so good job for that! HanMi is a cute girl, children are always like that so I have nothing against HanMi and the rest of the characters.

One little observation though, It isn't appropriate to call your fiancée "noona", right? Even if it is a petname or an endearment. :)

Grammar and Spelling: [17/20;]

There had been a lot along the way. But don't worry, nothing major so I won't write some long- criticism about it. haha!

Just a suggestion though, try proofreading or find a beta reader.

You also have the same problem as mine, (i think). It's about the pronouns "he" and "she". Also, I read a sentence where the other mom was holding her son but you put "daughter" instead. It confuses sometimes. :)

Flow: [15/15;]

The story flow is smooth. It isn't that fast nor is it too slow. So I don't really have a say in this part. :)

Structure: [4/5;]

Good. :)

Score: 84/100

So here you go, I'm sorry if you find some of my words offending. I tried to say it all as politely as I can. Thanks ^_^

REVIEW BY: cookiemonster555