Chapter 20
Journal Of Ardency"Jonghyun-ah, thank you for taking me, really", Byunghun looked at his dongsaeng dearly.
Jonghyun smirked; "It's not the first time I cleaned up Daniel's mess. He wasn't yet a famous actor but I already acted like his manager!".
Byunghun laughed his off hearing that. His chest was still hurt and his hands were still cold as ever, but listened to Jonghyun's stories about Daniel warmed him up.
"Don't you have a role too in Weekend? heol, what to do? you'll be late for final rehearsal!", Byunghun suddenly remembered.
"Aish. Forget about final rehearsal, we won't make it... I appeared in the middle, as someone who yelled 'queer' to them and messing up a bit, it didn't require special acting talent really", Jonghyun chuckled.
"But you did great in Detective and Governor's Daughter. I believe you'll be a great actor", said Byunghun.
"Ah, thank you hyung. But I think I want to try making film after I graduate", said Jonghyun.
"Really? a director?", asked Byunghun.
"Yeah, that would be the ultimate goal. But I'll do it little by little, maybe a lighting staff at first, then cameraman, director assistant... you know...", said Jonghyun.
"Aa~ cool. I'll be glad to be your scriptwriter", Byunghun smiled.
"Seriously?! hyung, I don't like empty promises", Jonghyun said.
"Uh, of course! why not. We could also cast Nielie and Soojoo to our film! it would be really awesome~!", said Byunghun.
Jonghyun giggled.
"Are you sure, wouldn't you be jealous?", asked Jonghyun mischievously.
"Ummm no... I like Soojoo", Byunghun smiled like a little child.
Jonghyun just laughed at him. He saw how Daniel could fall into Byunghun's charm. So they drove for almost an hour and a half. That's a world record, people usually have to drive for two hours or more. Byunghun's heart almost stopped couple times, he thought Daniel was careless enough but he never took a ride with Jonghyun. He was crazy in traffic, but in professional way. Byunghun thought a race driver could be an option for him if director didn't work well.
"Hyung, can you walk by yourself?", Jonghyun helped Byunghun got off the car.
"Is it far?", Byunghun looked around the crowded parking lot.
"It's about a hundred meters walk", Jonghyun pointed to the squared building.
Byunghun looked at it unsurely. He still held his chest tight. The wind was unforgiving, he could felt it creeped into his skin.
"Come on, hyung... it's about a half hour until the show starts", Jonghyun finally put Byunghun's arm on his shoulder and half-dragged him to the venue. He lead Byunghun to the audience seat on the back hurriedly.
"Yah, Choi Jonghyun, we're looking for you!", one staff hit Jonghyun's back.
"Ah, hyung, is everyone ready?", asked Jonghyun, put an innocent face.
"What are you talking about?! Go now, put on your clothes and make up backstage!", he yelled at Jonghyun and ran outside the building while talking to his walkie talkie.
"Hyung, I should go now", Jonghyun said to Byunghun that still busy managed his breath. He opened his mouth and tried to say something; "O.. okay", he coughed. The hundred meters was too much for Byunghun.
"Hyung... I...", Jonghyun bended his knees to the floor.
"It's okay, Jonghyun-ah, I'll be alright", Byunghun smiled to convinced Jonghyun.
"Just call me if something happened, I'll send someone to help you out", Jonghyun said and patted Byunghun's back.
Byunghun nodded.
"Good luck, Jonghyun-ah", he said softly.
"Good luck for you too", Jonghyun smiled and left Byunghun. He went out from the audience door and rushed to the backstage on the other side of the building.
Byunghun closed his eyes. The noisy cheers from Chanhee's troop of fangirls gave him headache. He was nervous to see what Daniel and Chanhee had on the stage. Would he be ready for their kisses?. Would that just discouraged him from telling Daniel all the truth?. With mind and heart still unsettled, the venue dimmed and the stage finally revealed. The spotlight was on. The play was here.
The first scene was a bed scene, Daniel rubbed his eyes and woke up next to Chanhee, remembering what happened the other night. Byunghun almost jumped out of his seat. This was what will happened if only Daniel left him for Chanhee, it won't be him again next to Daniel if he woke up in the morning. And for him to wake up without Daniel was the worst scenario ever, there won't be that soft creamy hair to touch, those long slender fingers to intertwined with, that annoying high pitched voice that asked him; "Have you eat your breakfast, hyung?".
The play lasted for two and a half hours. It was like a dream for Byunghun, when the curtain fell and the audience gave them a standing ovation. It was a perfect play, that's true, but why was his heart feel so empty?. Byunghun gathered his courage and stood up, he reached for the exit door through the cheering audience, he knew that his heart won't be able to take it but he ran. He ran towards the backstage, challenged two massive staffs that guarded the entrance door. They both were about 190cm tall, Byunghun was literally a midget compared to them.
"Let me see Ahn Daniel, I really need to see him", he gasped for air.
"You can't enter the backstage without an access card", one staff stretched his arms so Byunghun couldn't go in.
Byunghun coughed hard; "Jonghyun then... let me see him", his sight was all hazy, his head was spinning and his chest burned.
"Hyung~!", Jonghyun finally spotted him and told the staff; "He's my friend, let him in", with his calm yet commanding voice, the staff had no choice but let him to. Jonghyun helped Byunghun walked while he still struggled with his coughs.
"I'm just about to see you at the audience seat. Daniel was celebrating in dressing room. Go now, hyung, hwaiting", Jonghyun whispered as he opened up the dressing room's door.
Byunghun went in after Jonghyun's light push, put him stood awkwardly among the cast and crew.
"Hyung...", Daniel put his champagne back to the table.
"What are you doing here?", Chanhee walked forward but Daniel prevented him.
"Don't go too far, hyung", Daniel sighed.
Byunghun's lips trembled. The scenes that he saw on the stage felt so real and vivid right now. He took a glance on the table behind Daniel, there lied a hydrangea bouquet with a congratulation card hanging beautifully. Did Chanhee just feed Daniel another lie?. He didn't know what to say to make Daniel believe him. He just looked at Daniel that still stared back at him unmoved. Moments passed without words. People were chattering about the uncomfortable situation and finally left them one by one.
"What is it really?!", Chanhee finally yelled and broke the silence.
"Hyung...", Daniel held Chanhee back.
Byunghun closed his eyes and tears flooded his eyes. He saw them dropped one by one to the floor.
"D-Do you know how many times I rewrite this letter so it won't sound too creepy?", Byunghun stuttered with his weak voice. Daniel looked at him with full attention.
"Even to get the first line right is so hard right now. Maybe.. maybe because I really like you", he continued, struggled with his breath.
Daniel recognized those words. He approached Byunghun slowly. Still looked unsure, he just watched Byunghun from closer distant.
"I didn't know when it's started, maybe it was there even before we born, God had some cruel plans for his creations, didn't he?, Byunghun recited the next line.
"Hyung", Daniel called softly.
"I don't know whether fall in love with you is a right thing, but love is just love, it comes and goes, we don't ask with whom we fall in love with. It's just happened to be you. I asked and asked and asked again... why should it be you?", Byunghun took a deep breath and looked into Daniel's eyes.
"...maybe your smile? yeah, that beautiful smile... or that laugh?, those endless words came out from your beautiful lips?, or maybe also for the fact that you're so witty and thoughtful in a way. School is a dull place, but somehow you made it more bearable", Byunghun kept reciting his love letter that started it all.
"Before I realized it...", Byunghun continued as Daniel approached him closer and inspected his eyes like he always did.
"...maybe you became the reason why I went to sc
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