I am mentally cursing myself. Why did I do that? Why can’t I control my emotions? Why am I such a monster? I am curled up in a ball, lying on my bed in a fetal position. I was just watching a show and I’ve hurt someone. He was hurt just because he was sitting next to me.

“You know we can’t continue watching the show without you, right?” someone asks. My eyes open, but I’m too emotionally tired to sit up.

“Go away,” I tell him. Obviously, it’s one of the members. “Kai?” Kai is the one who can teleport to places.

“I’m here,” another voice says. “I’m with Lay.”

I sigh, stretching my limbs out of my fetal position. I sit up, facing the two of them. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know,” Lay tells me, smiling kindly at me. “I can heal myself, you know?”

“But that doesn’t excuse me from the things I do, Yixing,” I address him using his real name. “You can’t heal everyone I carelessly hurt.”

“That’s why we have classes for our abilities, right?” He approaches me, sitting on the floor next to my bed. Kai follows him.

“Why must my power be destructive?” I place my arm over my eyes, embarrassed of myself.

“You didn’t mean any of the things you did, Een,” Kai says, comforting me. “You’re still adjusting.”

Silence stretches for a minute. I don’t say anything. I don’t know what to say.

“You know,” Lay breaks the silence. “Suho did a much more serious wink than Sehun. Yet you didn’t react to Suho’s wink like you did with Sehun’s.”

I face the two of them, still lying on the bed. I can feel the blush sneaking up to my face. Kai chuckles, unable to wipe his smile off of his face.

“And just what are you trying to say, Yixing?” I ask him, my voice laced with hostility.

“And she finally talked,” Lay sighs, standing up. He smiles at me, his dimple becoming deeper than usual. Kai stands, too. He holds onto Lay and they disappear in thin air.

I sigh, looking at the ceiling. “Show off!”

“Excuse me?” Kai appears inside my room again and I yelp. He narrows his eyes at me and vanishes once more.

He returns to my room. This time, he takes Sehun with him. “Suho locked him out of their room. He’ll stay here.”

“What! Teleport him to their room, idiot!” I yell at Kai, who pushes a pillow to Sehun.

“Uh, what’s happening?” Sehun asks, clueless about Kai’s evil plan.

“That will be showing off, and you wouldn’t want that, right?” Kai tells me with a mischievous grin. Before I can even protest, he vanishes.

“JONGIN!” I scream, frustration building up white-hot heat inside me.

“I look good here,” Sehun comments, standing in front of the Sehun poster taped on my room’s light green walls.

The heat drains out of my face, replaced by clammy chilliness as I stand there, embarrassed. I look at the Sehun poster, and then at the real Sehun. I can feel the sweat in my palms. I approach my closet, looking for a comforter that Sehun can use. For a moment, I imagine him, not lying on the floor but on the bed. Next. To. Me. I shiver, rubbing my left arm as I rummage for beddings.

Someone knocks on the door. Sehun opens it, revealing Chanyeol and Xiumin who are dressed for bed.

“Oh,” Xiumin says, his round eyes surprised when he sees Sehun.

“What do you want?” I ask, rolling my eyes. “You better have extra beddings for this guy,” I point at Sehun. “Because I don’t have any.”

“Why don’t you just sleep on the bed?” Yeol asks Sehun, smirking.

I feel my temperature drop. I glare at Chanyeol, making him smirk some more.

“Come on, Sehun.” Xiumin places his arm around Sehun’s shoulders. “Let’s look for a spare comforter for you.” They walk out of the room, leaving me with Chanyeol.

“You are so weird,” Chanyeol snickers.

“Look who’s talking,” I reply, looking at him with death glares.

“We thought something happened to you, you know?” He tells me, shaking his head. “I didn’t sense your heat. Then, Xiumin came to our room, saying that your heat dropped to a notably cold temperature.” He sneers, enjoying himself. “Then, when the door of your room opened, there was Sehun.”

“What are implying, Yoda?” I ask him, my face impassive.

“Nothing. It’s just.. Weird.” He turns to leave as Xiumin and Sehun comes back, Sehun holding a thick, white comforter.

I feel a coldness in my neck, and I will white-hot heat to flow through my veins. Chanyeol chuckles, flashing me a peace sign as he walks out of the room with Xiumin.

“Are you okay?” Sehun asks me, his head tilted to one side.

“Hmm?” I turn around, eager to not face him. I smooth out a non-existent crease on my blanket.

“You’re sort of really cold right now,” he explains. I feel a light gust of wind, smoothing my blanket.

“Is everyone a living thermometer around here?” I snap, feeling wary and jumpy. My heart is pounding an erratic tattoo.

“Well, there’s Chanyeol and Xiumin, too. Don’t you feel Chanyeol? Xiumin?” he asks me, unfolding the comforter that he is holding.

“Baekhyun does, every night,” I mutter under my breath.

Sehun laughs, covering his mouth with the comforter. My stomach turns, embarrassment gushing in my veins. “I didn’t say anything.” I give him a pointed look.

He raises his hands. “Yes, yes. Kindly snuff out that fire, please.” He points to my hand, which is blazing, ready to incinerate him.

I exhale, making a face at him. I extinguish the fire, lowering my hand. I internally slap myself. What the hell is wrong with me?

“I would greatly appreciate it if you only use your capabilities during dire situations,” he tells me formally, using a weird accent. I narrow my eyes at him. His face falls. “I’m impersonating Dr. McLaren!”

“Oh,” I reply, nodding my head. “Oh.” I purse my lips, stifling my giggle. “It wasn’t really a good impersonation.” I shrug, chuckling.

He places his hand over his heart in mock hurt. He covers his eyes with his other hand. I grab my strawberry pillow, hitting him with it.

“Wuss.” I roll my eyes at him.

He grins at me, laying down the comforter on the floor next to my bed. I sit on my bed, watching him smooth out the comforter.

“See. You’re hot again,” he says simply.

The heat drains out of me, replaced by coldness. Did he just..?!

“It’s a joke that Chanyeol says. ‘I’m so hot I can melt ice blah blah blah.’” He imitates Chanyeol’s baritone voice, stretching his ears out with his hands. “Your temperature dropped. Did Kai say something to you?” he asks, sitting down on the floor.

“Sort of,” I sigh, lying down on my stomach, facing him.

“Thorry,” he says to me. “Yah. Sorry,” he corrects himself. I smile, but deep inside, I am doing cartwheels as I hear his lisp first-hand.

“They’re really immature sometimes.” He places his hands under his head, staring at the ceiling.

My eyebrows shoot up. Sometimes? Immature? I mentally chuckle at the irony of the whole thing.

He faces me, smiling. He extends his hand to me. “Hi. I’m Oh Sehun, normal person.”

“Een Young.” I shake his hand. “Normal. Most of the time.”

Sehun chuckles. “Just don’t burn me, okay?” He squeezes my hand before letting go. Jeez. It is so hard to maintain a balanced temperature around these guys.

“Lay can heal you,” I tell him, not promising anything.

“You didn’t finish the show. You missed a part of EXO history,” he says, pursing his lips to give me a tight smile.

“Every every every day naega mandeun history,” I sing a part of EXO’s History. “You can tell me about it if you want.”

“Okay, okay,” he agrees, placing his hands under his head again. “Where did you stop watching?”

I briefly remember watching Sehun’s wink and I flush, red as a cherry. “Y-your.. W-wink,” I stammer, unable to get the words out of my mouth properly.

“Don’t let the guys get in your nerves,” he chuckles, sensing the increase of my temperature. “They can be real bullies sometimes.”

“It must be hard being the maknae of the group, huh?” I ask him, lying down on my stomach. I rest my cheek on my pillow, facing Sehun.

“Sometimes. But it’s nice to have eleven older brothers to take care of you.” He smiles at me, his lips.

My eyes widen at his mannerism. I’ve seen millions and millions of images of it, both stills and gifs, but seeing it up close made all of my nerves go haywire. My heart beats faster, although I feel the sudden drop of my temperature.

“How old are you?” Sehun asks me.

“Eighteen,” I reply.

“You’re the maknae!” He sits up, his eyes wide. He rubs his hands, an evil grin creeping into his face.

“Shut up,” I counter, rolling my eyes. “I already told Kris to shut up. Don’t look so surprised,” I tell him when I notice his eyebrows shoot up. “You’re all equally stupid in my eyes.”

“Even Suho?” he asks, raising his eyebrow.

“Not that kind of stupid. You wouldn’t understand,” I say, waving my hand to dismiss the conversation. The fandom either really adores them or loathes them. Either way, we still love them no matter how weird we express our love.

“You just said I won’t understand! How is that not calling me stupid? Some maknae you are,” he grumbles, pouting.

I laugh. He does have a point. “It’s an EXO stan thing. You should try Twitter some time.” I stifle the giggle that’s threatening to come out as I remember the edited face of Sehun on Frozen’s Elsa’s body.

“I’ll tell you what happened on the show if you show me Twitter,” he makes a deal with me. He proffers his hand, removing it from under his head.

“Deal.” I shake it, agreeing with his condition. “You were sitting next to Chanyeol, right? What did he do?”

He laughs, remembering Chanyeol’s wink.

“It’s lame, isn’t it?” I shake my head.

He nods, trying to stop laughing. “He winked while smoothing down his sideburns.”

“Lame.” I snicker, rolling my eyes. “Park Chanyeol, you’re lame!” I shout, knowing that BaekYeol is still wide awake.

Chanyeol appears inside my room, holding a guitar with his left hand. He’s holding onto Kai with his right. He narrows his eyes at me, but he can’t help his smile. “You’re too rude for a maknae.”

“You’re too lame to be an idol.” I stick out my tongue at him.

Kai laughs as Chanyeol gasps with mock hurt. They disappear into thin air, leaving me alone with Sehun once again.

“Uh, who’s next?” Sehun thinks, but I know who’s next and I’m excited on what he’s going to say. “Ah!” He remembers. “Luhan.”

I feel really, really giddy with excitement. My OTP! Yah! HunHan~

“He winked while nodding?” Sehun says, unsure of what he said.

I gasp. “That’s all you could say?! He’s your OTP!”

“OTP?” he asks me, the acronym new to him.

I roll my eyes at him as if he’s a new EXO stan. “I’ll show you on Twitter. Go on,” I sigh, disappointed with his story about Luhan.

“What was I supposed to say?” he asks me, his eyes wary.

“No. It’s nothing.” I smile at him.

“No, it’s not.” He sits up, facing me. “What was I supposed to say?”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“I want to please our fans,” he tells me, his eyes coaxing me to go on.

I roll my eyes at him. “So I’m a fan in your eyes, huh?” I smile weakly at him. “Tell me what happened next.. Sehun-oppa.”

He cringes. He said in an interview once that he feels weird when he’s called ‘oppa’. I’m just a fan after all.

“That’s not what I’m—” He runs his fingers through his hair.

Instinctively, I pat his hair. I remember the time he had green hair and I smile. “Don’t dye your hair green again.” I pat his hair again. “Who’s next?”

“Kris! You have to watch it, though. Epic. Epic,” he snickers, clapping his hands slowly. “Jongin!” he calls Kai.

Kai poofs into my room. “Yes?”

“Can please get my phone?” Sehun requests, using his aegyo to convince Kai.

“Why should I?” Kai raises his eyebrow at me.

“We’re going to watch Kris’ wink,” I tell him, shrugging. I don’t even know why I have to watch it.

“Oh, man,” Kai chuckles, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. “Coming right up!” He poofs out.

Seconds later, he appears inside my room again, holding Sehun’s phone. “Excuse me,” he mutters, a grin on his face.

Sehun snickers. The door bursts open, revealing a flying Wu Yi Fan.

“No!” he shouts. He tries to get Sehun’s phone from Kai but Kai merely disappears like a popped bubble, reappearing again on the other side of my room. Kris attempts to grab the phone from Kai but fails once more.

The cycle repeats over and over again, with Kris chasing Kai who disappears at the last second.

“JUNMYOON!” I scream, calling their leader. Well, technically, Kris and Suho are the leaders but since Kris is hunting down Jongin in my room, Suho is definitely the group’s leader.

Suho appears on the doorway, wearing a Wolf 88 shirt and black jogging pants. “Yes?” he asks me. He sees Jongin and Kris. “Yah! Kris! Kai!” he reprimands s.

Kris looks back at Suho and falls on the wooden floor with a thud. Kai stops teleporting, still holding the coveted phone of Sehun.

“Suho! They’re going to ruin my image!” Kris complains, his face crestfallen.

“You sort of ruined it already.” I shrug, stifling my grin.

“A lot of fans already watched the show, Kris,” Suho tells him, patting his shoulder. “It’s inevitable.” He shrugs as well. I grin at him, unable to stop myself.

“They still love you, don’t they?” I ask Kris, offering him a smile.

He tries to maintain his crestfallen face but fails eventually, giving into the grin that’s creeping into his face.

I ended up watching the last parts of the pilot episode of EXO’s Showtime with Sehun, Kris, Suho, and Kai. We eventually used Kris’ MacBook so we can watch with a wider screen. I couldn’t stop laughing at the crazy antics of Wu Yi Fan.

“Excuse me. Oongya, oongya,” I , laughing out loud at his lameness.

He rolls his eyes at me and I nudge his knee with mine. He smiles at me reluctantly, trying to keep his hurt face on.

I melt some more as I watch each of them perform their winks. They teased Chen again, Chanyeol doing a camel wink. Chen did a slow camel wink to appease s.

“Umin!” I squeal as my ovaries combust upon watching Xiumin wink. “Yah! My ovaries!” The others laugh but I don’t care. Hot damn, that wink is something else. Yah!

The last part of the show was the boys coming up with a fighting slogan for the show. I laugh at the low-spirited slogan that they came up with. Finally, they settled for Dancing Machine Kai’s arm-pulling move.

The boys did a wave but since it was too long, they decided to scrap it.

“EXO’s Showtime!” The four says in unison, pulling on their arm muscles.

My nerves short-circuit. Kris closes his laptop and lies down on his back on the floor. Kai and Suho do the same, sleepy and tired.

“You two take the bed,” Kai says, his voice teasing.

Sehun rolls his eyes at him. I just shake my head, not letting them get to me as Sehun said a while ago. I stand up, pulling his Sehun up, too.

I lie down on the bed, suddenly dog-tired and worn out. Sehun does the same, settling down on the other side of the bed.

“You’re welcome,” Kai mutters sleepily. I throw a pillow at him but he catches it, placing it under his head.

Kris snickers, sharing the pillow with Kai. Sehun throws a pillow at Suho, whose eyes are closed. Suho takes the pillow, hugging it tight.

“Good night, Sehunnie,” I say, yawning.

“Good. Don’t call me ‘oppa’,” he grumbles. “It’s so weird.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” I mutter groggily.

“Hey, Een,” he says, his eyes closed.

I close my eyes, sleep inching into my body. “Hmm?”

“You’re not just a fan.”

I drift into unconsciousness, a smile stamped on my face.