39 Gold is for the gallon of ice cream    Soojung was sprawled out on her bed, her hair forming a halo around her head and her shirt crumpling up her back. She was holding her phone in front of her face as she browsed through instagram, too busy stalking the ever so beautiful Coco Rocha, when the loud banging of the front door from downstairs came. She was too tired to even move an inch from her position, so she just shrugged it off, thinking maybe it was just one of the milk delivery boys (although it was ten in the evening) who was going to give her her dialy dosage of dairy product.   It was raining heavily outside and it was too cozy on her perfect bed as she lied down, one foot covered with her freshly-from-the-laundry rose-scented sheets. The moment was too ideal to be ruined by the pounding of what seemed like a sledgehammer right on her door.

“SOOJUNG! SOOJUNG, OPEN UP!” someone shouted downstairs.

She froze.   Oh great. Just what she needed. Sehun.

She didn’t know what Sehun wants, for the past few weeks he’d been constantly ignoring her. He’d been too busy pursuing Jinri he forgot about his best friend, but no matter what, Soojung would always have a soft spot for the boy, so she fought the spell her bed was casting on her and got up, jogged downstairs, and reached for the door.

The sound of the rain blasted harder when she opened up the door she thought she was going deaf, but Sehun’s pathetic state pulled her back to reality.

The boy was soaked. He was dripping wet, all of his clothes were sticking on to his skin like leeches and the droplets of water all over his face were either tears or rain. It must’ve been from both, seeing the redness of his eyes and nose and the trickle of rain falling down from the tips of his hair.

Without even thinking, Soojung opened the door wider to let him in and as the boy walked in slowly, his back bending over, whether from coldness or from embarassment, she didn't know.   She went inside the bathroom to grab towels for him. When she came back, there was already a puddle of water under Sehun’d feet, but she didn’t mind. Instead, she threw one of the towels around his shoulders and tiptoed to dry his hair with the other one.

“What are you doing standing outside the rain, Se- ugh!” she grunted when he suddenly pulled her into a hug, her shirt and shorts drenching from the proximity. And god, only then did she realize Sehun was shaking and that his whole body was frosted ice. The shaking wasn't entirely because of the coldness though.

All so suddenly, he sobbed, like, legitimately sobbed as he buried his face on the crook of her neck. His hand was gripping her waist, pulling her even closer if that possible. Soojung couldn’t identify if the dampness on her shoulder was due to tears, rainwater, or snot because Sehun was literally bawling.

This had been the first time, the very first time she saw him cried like that. Not even when they were kids did he howl like some pet fish died or an all-time favorite series just ended. He had always been the carefree guy, calm and relaxed. He wouldn’t care much about emotional things and wouldn’t go all dramatic over one simple matter, so it was a surprise as to why he was being like this.   "Sehun..."

She was too overwhelmed by the sudden change her mind wouldn’t work properly to hypothesize about a possible, plausible reason. But she was sure, whatever the reason was for Sehun’s actions right now, it was something dearly important to him. And when he finally spoke, Soojung then realized he did love that girl so much it wasn’t merely a laughing matter anymore.

“Jinri and I officially cut it off.”

And maybe it was indeed time to let Sehun go completely.
 
Sehun closed the door of the bathroom, sniffing (he probably just acquired a very critical lung infection from running outside when it was raining cats and dogs) while drying his hair with the towel around his neck. He just finished showering and fortunately, Soojung still hadn’t burned the abundant amount of clothes he left in her closet, so he was able to change to some dry ones - a pair of basketball shorts and a white t-shirt.

He sat on a stool as he watched Soojung shuffling through the kitchen, apron-less, trying to salvage her poorly-made Alfredo since that was the first thing that popped out of Google when she typed in the ingredients she had on her shelves and fridge. It had been awhile since the last time she went to the supermarket to do groceries given that the only basis she’d kept doing that for years was Sehun who kept high-jacking her kitchen. But when the dancer decided to not pay any visit for the past few weeks, the only thing she kept on her pantry was pasta, a few cans of sardines, and instant noodles which had been there for ages (since Chanyeol made her eat dinner outside with him).

“Cooking like a pro, are we?” Sehun teased although he wasn’t at all feeling humorous.

Soojung grimaced. “It looks like you need food. This might taste like crap but this is better than nothing. But I have my last cup of instant ramyun as your last resort if this Yuck-Fredo isn’t edible at all,” she offered as she chucked the pasta down on two separate plates.

“I think this will be fine.”

Soojung put the pan on the sink and flopped down on the stool next to Sehun. For the next ten minutes, they ate quietly. The food was unexpectedly pretty bearable, but Sehun didn’t have the energy to tease Soojung and say otherwise. Soojung, on the other hand, knew her best friend needed silence for awhile, so they both kept their tongues tied.

When Soojung was nearly finished with her pasta and she observed Sehun was only half eating, half playing with his food, she asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Sehun took a couple of seconds before responding. He sighed. “Maybe not.”

“You know it’ll help if you talk about it with someone, right?”

His head was eternally ducked down. “I know,” he breathed. “It’s just that I’m afraid I’ll get those feelings again if I talk about it. You know how when you keep talking about something it becomes harder for you to stop? I just feel that way right now, I guess.”

The look on his face spelled nothing about wanting to open up, so Soojung dismissed the idea and just nodded.

“Okay, I won’t ask if you’re not ready to tell. Let’s just finish our food and then let’s watch a movie, what do you think? I rented some CDs from Video City yesterday and from what I remember I still have a bag of Doritos on the top shelf,” she suggested lightly.

For the first time that night, Sehun smiled genuinely and although it was just a closed smile, it was still a smile nonetheless and that was all that mattered.

“I’d like that,” he mumbled.

“Oh,” she grinned, “and I bought a gallon of Nutella ice cream last night.”   He broke into a grin.  
They were seated next to each other on the couch, stuffing their faces with the last bag of crisps on Soojung’s pantry. Any other day they would be cuddling and joking just to pester the hell out of the other, but so many things changed now. Soojung confessed she liked Sehun. Sehun told her she liked Jinri instead. Soojung let him chase Jinri. Jinri ran away. And now that Jinri was completely gone, the best friends didn’t know where they stood. Surely they didn’t stop being best friend (they couldn’t), but they somehow became something less than that along the way. And now they didn’t know if they should bring back ‘before’ or ‘right now’ would be better.

“When you told me you rented CDs, I expected some badass action movie we used to watch together,” Sehun said. “You should’ve at least warned me we’re re-watching City of Bones. You really do have a weird kink over Jamie Campbell Bower, don’t you? And I actually thought you got over him already.” He snorted.

Soojung rolled her eyes at him and blurted withough thinking, “Once I like someone, I tend to like him forever.”

And then the world stood still. Sehun stared at her as if she’d just announced she swallowed a vase. She stared back, not knowing what to say or if she should even say anything.

She was just kidding. She was just making a supposed to be intelligent comeback. It wasn’t her intention to bring up that sensitive topic again, but, apparently, was too careless to listen to her. Now they were back to square one. Dilemma number one all over again.

“I… I’m j-just… uh…” she stuttered. “It… it was a joke.”

Sehun looked down and smiled. “I know. After all it’s impossible to like me forever.”

She relaxed and snorted. “Stop being so dramatic, Se. It doesn’t suit you. And you do know it is possible. The right person will not just like you but love you for as long as she lives.”

“You’re too mushy.”

She smirked. “It’s my charm.”

He shook his head but there was a smile on his lips.

For the next few minutes, they were so engrossed in watching the movie. Soojung was constantly chewing her lips every time Jamie has airtime. And just imagine that, he was the lead. She reached for the gallon of ice cream and cradled it on her lap, eyes not leaving the screen all throughout. She was busy shoving the second spoonful of ice cream in when Sehun spoke.

“I didn’t come just to find refuge here, Soo.”

She turned her head at him.

“I mean, it’s part of the reason because, you know, you’ve always been my safe haven. My comfort zone has always been by your side, but the real reason why I’m here is to ask for forgiveness. Like, for real this time. No more raising of voice. No more doubtful questions. No more putting the blame on you. I’m going to say sorry properly, Soojung,” he went on. “I’m sorry.”

“Sehun…”

“I took you for granted and I’m sorry. I didn’t care if you were hurting. I just went on with what I w